Hearts Will Go On
by Hot4Gerry
Summary: Erik has lost all that had ever meant anything to him. As a broken man he must find his way without the love of his life, the person who completes him. For Erik the loss of Christine seemed to be the end of any hope to find...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had thought to post another story that I had been further along with but this one get rattling around refusing to be put on hold. I hope I can keep up with regular updates. My other story from long, long ago I am posting on my website if anyone is interested. It is being refurbished as it was one of my first attempts to give Erik some happiness. If you do visit please leave me some feedback. **

**Summary: Erik has lost all that had ever meant anything to him. As a broken man he must find his way without the love of his life, the keeper of his soul. For Erik the loss of Christine seemed to be the end of any hope to find that one person who could give him back his humanity.**

**Sometimes a piece of a puzzle seems to fit just so but the piece will not fall into place as it should. What seemed a perfect fit soon becomes a search for the piece that will fill that void. **

**Neither one expected to find love. A shared journey through acceptance, friendship, love and passion. They will find one another when they expected little from life. **

**Hearts Will Go On **

**By Hot4Gerry**

**Chapter One**

**Running From Memories**

Erik had been traveling for almost a year trying to outrun his memories. To stay in one place for too long soon had despair seeping into his very bones it seemed. He filled every moment with music until the notes collided into a churning cauldron of chaos. Everything he composed seemed seeped in misery, melancholy and despair. He could see not even a glimmer of light ahead of him.

Nothing he composed had the least bit of sentiment or soft notes to seduce. Everything that flowed from his mind, hand, fingers and pen sounded as if filled with deep dark tortuous emotions. To listen to those notes he played for any length of time would drive a sane man insane or into the deepest darkest recesses of the mind.

Erik had always teetered on the edge of insanity. His obsession with Christine and failure to win her had driven him over the edge. He had lost every bit of control on the dark forces that always lurked just underneath the surface. In his madness he had committed crimes no man should perpetrate against another human being. Erik had been unable to see anyone's view of things other than his own. What he wanted had been paramount to anything else.

When he had begun to take an interest in Christine as a student he could at last give his music to someone who would give it to the world. Erik had thought at last he had an instrument to give the world all the beauty within his soul. If he could let that light spread out into the world would not at least one ray of it reflect back at him? For so long Erik had longed to be a part of the world that was lived in the light. Darkness had been his domain for as long as he could remember.

His possessive obsession had led him to commit all those heinous deeds in the name of love. Love fueled by such cancerous intentions could not survive in the world where love needed nurturing rather than force to command the return of one's affections.

Erik had so little experience interacting with people in a face to face situation. His life at L'Opéra Populaire had been one of letters and notes he had Madame Giry convey to whatever manager had been at his opera house at any given time. Over the years Erik could now see he had become somewhat of a despot. He demanded everyone do his bidding or there would be hell to pay.

He had not even seen how he had misused his one true friend Madame Giry. The proof of his complete separation from anyone could be found in the fact that Erik had never called his savior by her given name, Antoinette. To have done that would have been a silent admission that he thought of her as someone close to him, someone who mattered, a person he could lose. Erik had not been able to trust that Madame would always be there or even remain loyal to him. Everyone in his life had betrayed him in one way or another.

Protection of his heart had been Erik's priority over the years, at least that had been true until Christine had entered his life. Erik had learned to guard his human tendency to show compassion or caring from his earliest days. When Christine had come to the opera house a weeping lost child Erik had found a small ember glowing to warm all those colder places his own heartache had created. Some spark of human kindness must have remained deep within him just waiting for something to bring the ember to a raging fire.

Madame Giry, then a young ballerina had released him from the cage even after witnessing Erik strangling his master, for that had been what Javart had been, his master. Erik had not protested when she had opened the metal door then grabbing him by the hand to lead him to L'Opéra Populaire. Shock had kept him from behaving as the wild animal he had been made to portray over the years. When he did not adhere to Javart's wishes for a hellish demon Erik would be beaten with a whip. At times he had been beaten regardless of his performance.

Only later had Erik been leery of coming too close to the girl who had given him his freedom. No one had ever shown Erik any kindness up to that point. His own mother had become a shadowy memory over time. The only clear thought of her was that she had hated and feared him.

It had taken Madame Giry quite some time to win his trust. Once Erik had found his niche in the opera house it had been he who had done the betraying. He had repaid Madame's kindness by forcing her to do his bidding. He had seen nothing untoward in the arrangement for all those years. It would not have mattered to him at that time if he had seen how he used his savior's devotion to him. Erik could only see what he wished to see. His wants and needs had come before everyone else's.

With time his innocent caretaking of Christine had changed as she had changed. Erik could see now that it had been inevitable for him to give his heart to Christine. He could also see and understand that it had been a doomed hope of his own to win her. He had been far too old for her to begin with. Although older in years his experience of the world in any normal capacity had been limited to those horrid years of enforced imprisonment in a cage. The gypsy fair had been his private hell for over six years. Erik knew rationally that he had been ill-prepared to love anyone or show that emotion as it should be by lovers.

Now with distance and time Erik had begun to think more clearly. His love for Christine had not lessoned nor his longing to be with her again any less a searing painful need within him. It could never be and Erik had come to finally accept that reality. The hurt had not as of yet dissipated but he hoped with time he could at least bury it deeper in his mind and heart. He could fill those now emty places in his heart that used to belong to Christine.

Erik could even admit that Raoul had done nothing any other man who loved someone would do. If Erik had been in a position to court Christine in the correct manner he would have done so. Much to his regret Erik had only driven Christine further from him by instilling fear of him within her. Too late he had realized that not everything could be gained from force. Love could not be forced; it had to be earned and nurtured. He had done nothing to earn Christine's love.

Letters from Madame, or rather Antoinette as she now insisted he address her, came every month giving Erik all the news from Paris. Much of it distressed Erik. Antoinette assured him that she, Meg and Christine were fine. Raoul too fared well. Erik had been pleased that he had not gone into one of his rages just reading Raoul's name.

Upon deciding to leave Paris Erik had been confronted with the painful reminder that he had no last name, none that he had ever heard before anyway. Many names had been considered then rejected. At last Erik Dante had come to him. It had a nice ring to it and he had always liked the play Dante's Inferno as well as the operatic adaptation.

Erik had traveled extensively before coming to settle in of all places on American soil. He had wanted to be some place that held no memories for him or little chance of hearing about Christine and Raoul. He may have accepted how things were but he did not feel the need to have his face rubbed in their happiness at every turn. England had not been far enough away as news of the happy couple had found its way into the London papers along with the stories of the mysterious Opera Ghost and Phantom of the Opera. An all too vivid description of him had been given to inquisitive reporters as well as an artist's rendering of him wearing the costume from Don Juan Triumphant.

It had taken Erik a few weeks to render his final decision where he would make his next home. An article in the paper about the American political arena had caught his attention. It mattered little where he lived as long as he had plenty of space and privacy. He went among people now but that did not mean he found it any less dangerous or even comfortable. The article had gone into detail about the American's growth potential in the next few years based on the past hundred years or so. The western frontier had hardly been touched by white men as of yet.

Erik had booked his passage in short order. He had arranged for all of his funds to be transferred to the Bank of New York so that once he arrived he could have access to the money he would need to acquire a home and property.

Once in New York Erik had wanted to leave within a few days. There were far too many people. He needed the wide open spaces. A chanced overheard conversation between two men had given him his answer of where he would travel to next. They had been discussing horses. The sale of them as well as breeding them. They had also been speaking of government contracts for horses for the cavalry as well as the pulling of wagons. The sport of racing seemed to be increasing not only with the wealthy but with the common man as well.

The only horses Erik had even had any contact with had been the ones in the opera house stables. He had found he had an affinity with animals. Every once in a while he would take one of the animals out for a midnight run. Both he and the horse had felt exhilarated. Those animals rarely left their stalls just as Erik had rarely left the prison of the cage at the fair or the prison of the opera house walls and catacombs.

Looking into the situation Erik had made inquiries and found the perfect place. A tract of land, some five hundred acres had come on the market. It had already been set up as a horse farm primarily with cattle being the second commodity. It was located near the small mountain town of Tyler's Crossing. It wasn't large by New York standards but large for a town far from any major city. Lexington was some one hundred miles away. The good news had been that the railroad ran directly through the town which would account for its recent growth. Trains ran through twice a day. Coal mining had become a booming business in the once small mountain community but industry had brought about growth not only in prosperity but human numbers as well, a somewhat uneven scale with men out-numbering the men by a wide margin.

The men went on to discuss the growth of the town. It would seem that they were sent east to encourage women to travel to Kentucky with marriage being their objective. The town had some 400 men with only 50 women. Most of those were married and the others were far too young to consider that prospect. The mayor wanted women to come so the younger generation would want to stay. The town had potential to become quite prosperous if they could manage to keep those men from moving on to greener pastures. With land opening up out west the younger ones began to have itchy feet. Even the older ones seemed willing to pull up stakes and head out.

The latter part of the conversation had not interested Erik nearly as much as the first part. Erik imagined himself becoming one of the top breeders in the state. He envisioned himself becoming a person who demanded respect from his peers. A man's worth nearly always had been measured by the success with business and family. Since Erik would never have a family he would have success in business. He did not need the money but craved the acceptance and respect his success would bring to him.

Erik had bought that piece of property sight unseen. To his dismay the house had been little more than a few rotting boards ready to fall during the next high wind. The barns had been in much better condition. The well had been uncontaminated even though it had been unused for quite some time. The man who had owned the property had been left alone when his wife of some twenty-five years ran off with some drummer peddling his wares. The spring fed pond had been stocked with several species of fish which Erik thought might leaned him some interesting moments learning to fish.

The windmill had worked after only a few minor repairs. It now pumped water into a huge tub used to water the horses and cattle. Erik himself had put in a line to carry water to the home he had built. Erik had built ten rooms being in an optimistic frame of mind the day he drew the plans for his new abode.

When Erik had finished building his home he had stood at the bottom of the hill looking up. He could see all too clearly sled's racing down that hill with as yet unknown riders. as hard as he tried to sqaush the idea it would not leave him. He would not let himself acknowledge it had not only been the fact that when heavy rains came the house would fair better on the hill rather than the valley below. He had imagined racing down that hill with some faceless woman while laughter from numerous faceless children echoed through the valley the bounced off the mountains surrounding his property.

Nothing in the house could be considered overly opulent but Erik had not stinted on buying the best quality in furnishings. The master bedchamber had its own bathroom, sitting room as well as access to the upper veranda. The three other bedrooms shared a bath for now. Later others could be added in each individual room. The spaciousness of the rooms as well as the number mocked Erik which he did his best to ignore.

He had made a large kitchen with a smaller summer kitchen just off the back of the house. If there had been a woman in the house she might use the summer kitchen to can the fruits and vegetables Erik had grown. Would it not be wonderful to open a jar of preserves or jam made for him with a woman's loving hands? He had built a large dining room with a smaller less formal area next to the kitchen. He had installed dumbwaiters to make serving food upstairs for those who would want to linger in bed an easier prospect.

Several men had hired on to help Erik get everything into shape. Those young men wanted to earn money so they could buy themselves some land. Women were coming and they wished to be able to offer something more than a room in Miss Odell's rooming house. Building new establishments and businesses had kept everyone employed. The train track coming through had made the demand for restaurants and hotels mandatory. The telegraph had even been installed all along the railroad. Communicating with loved ones back east had given the ladies a sence of security. New shops catering to women and their needs had also been a lure to keep those women they did have happy.

Erik had offered his services gratis to design and help build the school. Offers for employment had been coming in as the school building had taken shape. He had even accepted a few commissions. He did not need the money but it gave him a sense of accomplishment and belonging to contribute to the growth of the town he now considered his home.

Erik sat on his front veranda looking out at all that belonged to him with wonder. He had never really owned anything. Of course he had thought of the opera house as his but the reality had been that it belonged to others. This land and everything on it belonged to Erik legally.

Over time Erik had made a few friends. The mayor had been impressed with the things he had done with his property. The men he had hired were pleased with the payment for their services and let it be known Erik was a fair man to do business with. For the first time in his life Erik had friends who respected him. None of them feared him, of course he had not used his old methods of gaining favor here as of yet. Erik had struggled to keep that darker side of him buried. Being among people on a daily basis had been wonderful yet frightening at the same time. He felt as if he needed to look over his shoulder all the time while expecting some hurtful blow to befall him.

Michael Landry, the mayor had become one of Erik's closest friends. They were of a similar age and both loved music. Neither had married although Erik's bachelorhood was not of his choosing. When Michael had first approached Erik with the idea of seeking out one of those women coming here with the express purpose of marriage he had declined to even consider the idea.

Now as he sat here Erik felt the only thing he lacked in his life was the companionship of a woman. Mere companionship may well be all he could hope for. Physical interaction scared him spitless. If, and that if looked very weak, if he could persuade one of those women to tie themselves to him he did not see her as someone willing to share intimacies with him. Never having been with a woman in the biblical sense Erik did not feel adequate to give any pleasure during any exchange they may have. Could a woman even bring herself to lie with him?

Erik touched his lips as he remembered those two kisses Christine had bestowed on his surprised lips. Her soft mouth had given him so much pleasure as well as pain in the short time they had laid upon his own unresponsive mouth. It still shamed him that he had not been able to respond to her caresses as other men would. Of course his heart had been being torn from his chest at the time but still he should have done something. He had not even placed a hand on her during what he thought had been a passionate exchange, at least on Christine's part. Erik had disgraced himself in his eyes when he had stood there letting Christine kiss him without so much as moving his own lips one centimeter.

What real man could endure the lips of the woman he loved being pressed to his own without some sort of response? Erik knew very well the painful arousal from being close to women without ever having the relief of a warm woman's body wrapped around his own. He liked to think his lack of response to Christine had been because his heart felt split in two at the time rather than he had no experience to draw from. Erik had known he had lost Christine and within moments she would go out of his life never to return.

Throughout his travels Erik had tried to look at other women to test his readiness to be a man as others were. He had not found himself to be any different than before. He achieved arousal as any man would. His only drawback was being of an age when men were supposed to have bedded a woman or two. His virgin state he feared would remain such until he died. If God were to send him a woman Erik feared his lack of experience would hinder him from pursuing an intimate relationship. It was bad enough Erik knew he lacked abilities without making it known to someone he took as his wife.

Erik had gone over and over all the ramifications of a liaison with a woman from every angle. He felt it better to remain intact than be further humiliated by a lack of experience. He had a month or so to decide anyway. The women weren't due for some time yet.

Michael had only just begun contriving a new list of men for the next batch of women. When Erik had arrived in Tyler's Crossing it had only been a few weeks before those women he had overheard the gentlemen talking about had arrived. The females were snapped up within a few hours of arriving. They did at least wait a couple of days to perform the massive ceremony wedding everyone on the same day.

Erik pushed up off the veranda chair to go saddle his horse Midnight Dream. He'd go for a good run to clear his head of troubling thoughts. Perhaps later he'd go into town to play a few games of chess with Michael. He'd not dwell on whether or not he could build his courage to seek out a woman willing to wed him. He had a month after all to think it over before the next round of women arrived.

**A/N: So what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I had promised myself I would stick to my schedule of only posting once a week on Wednesday. For the last few days I have been antsy to get things moving. I think I am far worse than my readers in that aspect. It is so hard to keep all those emotions I know are ahead for my characters in the future. Jumping the gun isn't realistic even as badly as I want things to happen now. So here a day early is chapter two. We meet our heroine. Enjoy and please, those of you who have favorited me please leave a review now and again. I know it is a pain to do it every chapter but it is greatly appreciated. **

**Chapter Two**

**Pricilla Jane Carpenter**

Pricilla sat across from her bouncing cousin aghast at the suggestion Charlotte had just put forth without one iota of embarrassment whatsoever. Pricilla blinked a few times to clear her vision. She searched her pockets trying to find her darned glasses. Mainly she used them for reading but at times she needed them to see everyday things more clearly. This would count as one of those times. Pricilla wanted to be certain she had not misheard what Charlotte had said, or miss any telltale emotion on Charlotte's face indicating she was having a go at Pricilla.

Charlotte blew out a puff of air in frustration. She loved her cousin Prissy more than anyone else in her life other than her parents, but at times Prissy was such a trial. Charlotte reached across placing a staying hand on Prissy's questing hands. Reaching out she plucked the wayward glasses off the top of her cousin's head.

Charlotte only waited until the glasses were perched safely on the bridge of Prissy's nose before she continued excitedly, "Prissy you must sign on. It is the perfect opportunity for the both of us. I have resigned myself to being married to some lout who will have me presenting him with a child a year for the rest of my life or being left on the shelf to wither and die an old maid. Being in my situation there is little likelihood of anyone even marginally suitable offering for my hand. If we go further afield we may have better opportunities where women are in short supply."

"Oh Charlotte stop overstating things. You know very well with your beauty you're bound to find someone spectacular while I, on the other hand would count it a blessing if even that dirty old Mr. Hawkins offered me a proposal. You sweet girl have been blessed with the rare qualities of grace, beauty and charm, to say nothing of your kind and loyal heart while I have accepted that I am not what young men dream of when thinking of courting.

But you, I have not missed all those young men coming to pay a call at your door." Pricilla did not begrudge her cousin anything. A long time ago Pricilla had come to accept her own lack of outer beauty. Pricilla's rather plain light brown hair while lustrous and beautiful when not in its usual tight braid wrapped around her head, did not draw men's eyes as Charlotte's own mane of blond curls did that she left free to wave about enticingly. Her loose strands of silky soft hair may not be properly coiffed but the young men seemed to like it just fine.

Having freckles sprinkled across her nose had given Pricilla a lot of anguish in her younger years. Boys did tend to tease about such things as did some of the girls. Being plain featured had driven Pricilla to her bed crying on many occasions until she came to terms with how she looked. Being a little bit less than clear sighted did not help as she had to wear her glasses at times. As she grew older she tended to leave them on as they shielded her eyes from showing her emotions. Pricilla had eyes that gave away every secret she held within her heart.

Her eyes Pricilla thought to be her best feature. Green as Kentucky grass they were. Her cupid bow mouth some might consider kissable. As a whole though Pricilla could only lay claim to mediocrity. That was her lot in life and she had been happy there for the last twenty-two years. Being on the verge of becoming an old maid did give Pricilla a few regretful moments when she thought of all she had dreamed when just coming into womanhood.

Being the only child of parents who had been well into their fifties at the time of her birth had not given Pricilla a very good start in life. Both of her parents were from wealthy families. They had met late in life and fell in love after having decided marriage was not for them. They had met aboard ship headed to tour around the world. They had met on Monday and married on Wednesday.

Neither had given a thought to the possibility of children. They had not wanted any therefore there would not be any. For two such scholarly people they had behaved irrationally and irresponsibly. Some nine months later Pricilla had been born.

Neither her mother nor her father had the first idea about raising children. Their solution had been to approach this intrusion into their lives scientifically. Pricilla had access to all the knowledge ever written down on a page. She consumed the knowledge eagerly. It had not endeared her to her fellow classmates. Her parents were of the opinion that money should not buy privelege. Their daughter would attend public school.

Pricilla had only one friend in her life, her cousin Charlotte. Charlotte's parents were quite poor due to bad investments over the years. The loss of prosperity had not lessoned the couple's love for one another or their love of their daughter. The loss of finances had also lost them their place amongst their peers. Even family members looked down on them. Pricilla's parents had not intentionally been cruel she supposed but they too had shook their heads at her Uncle Theodore's lack of skills when it came to holding onto his inheritance. Pricilla's father, Herbert, had refused his brother's request for loans to keep his family afloat. Instead another bargain had been made.

Charlotte had taken Pricilla under her wing whenever she came to visit over the summers through the years. Pricilla's parents liked to travel which did not include bringing along their young daughter so they sent Pricilla to her aunt and uncle's for the months they traveled. Pricilla's parents had paid a handsome sum for Pricilla's upkeep. Wealth or the lack of it had never come between the two girls. Money to them only represented a means to obtain the comforts of life it did not show the measure of ones character or lack thereof.

The Carpenters were moneyed people but did not believe in flaunting their station in life. They lived well but in modest terms compared to all their friends and family. Poor Pricilla had been raised as an adult even when a toddler. Nothing even remotely coddling had ever come her way from either parent. It had been their goal to raise Pricilla to be a strong independent woman. They had only succeeded in bringing a very shy unsure woman into a society who would overlook her because she lacked what the norm considered attractive or an outgoing personality to draw people to her. It had not helped that Pricilla had knowledge far beyond any young man who had attended four years of college. She frightened them while trouncing their manly egos into the dust.

"No, listen, Prissy this is the perfect solution I tell you. All we need to do is sign on then catch the train. They are reserving all the rooms in both hotels for us. You and I will share with four other women as the flyer stated rooms must be shared by six women until matches are made of course. There will be one large matrimonial ceremony for everyone. Not very romantic but then neither is traveling across several states to met a man for a few hours then wed him in the next couple of days. I suppose the rushed ceremony is to discourage anyone from backing out.

We both know that at twenty-five my time for catching a husband is well near gone. And before you spout off again about all those men let me inform you as to the nature of those visits. Those louts were after me but not with any marriage proposals in mind. They wished to lure me into sordid affairs with nothing to show for it at the end other than a loss of my innocence and the respect for myself and my parents. If Papa had known he would have taken his shotgun to town and be rotting in prison this very minute. That is why I let them believe in those men's chivalrous intentions. I tell you it was not easy turning one after another away knowing with everyone I sent packing my chances to make a match dwindled."

Pricilla had taken Charlotte's hand in her own during the telling of her tale. Poor Charlotte. Poor me too thought Pricilla. Between the two of them they made a charming tempting bride. One had beauty the other had wealth. Pricilla knew all too well how society would treat Charlotte if she did not soon marry. Pricilla being a few years younger but less pleasing to look at had already begun to feel those stares from the older women. Many times Pricilla would find herself alone in some corner hoping someone might take pity on her and engage her in conversation or some nice young gentleman would ask her to dance out of kindness as it was customary to do with any female guest who seemed to be a wallflower.

The shunning of Pricilla had been less obvious when Pricilla's parents had been living. Now that they had passed on the invitations had begun to dwindle down to a trickle. Soon there would not be any at all other than the one or two yearly charity affairs seeking to place their hands in her pocket book. Pricilla hated this cynical part of herself, but the truth was the truth.

"Do the trains go that far now?" Pricilla had not been out of Boston since she had last gone to visit her aunt and uncle as a young girl. She flushed when Charlotte began to laugh.

"Oh Pricilla you do need to get out more. I hate to sound cruel dearest but it is a blessing your parents passed on. It is an even greater blessing they left you without financial worries." Charlotte had felt Prissy's parents had taken advantage of the fact that she had no gentlemen callers in order to keep their daughter as their personal servant. Loyalty and giving aid to ones older relations was all well and good but Prissy had no life after her parents had stopped traveling.

Already in their seventies the last few years had taken its toll on the whole family. Prissy most of all as she lived under their roof, waiting on them hand and foot. Nothing other than the natural slowdown due to aging had afflicted Charlotte's aunt and uncle. They could have taken care of themselves with the aid of a few servants. They had let the servants go preferring Pricilla's devoted care rather than reliance on servants.

"Well it is not my fault I have not had time to be the busy little bee or flittering butterfly. I had responsibilities. And shame on you for speaking of the dead in such a disrespectful way."

Priscilla paused as a smile began to make its way across her lips as she laughingly said, "Even if it is the truth we mustn't forget our manners. Mother would strip the hide from your backside then have you on your knees begging God's forgiveness as well as the two of them.

You know Charlotte they weren't bad people at all. They couldn't help not wanting children or the responsibility of having one around. They did their best and I am grateful for the opportunity they gave me to learn. Not many women are encouraged to do so you know.

I only feel a little regret for having missed much of what other young girls get to experience. I have faced reality though. Even if I had had a coming out I would have been the most miserable person there. What debutante wants to play the wallflower at her own coming out? Not I. I have enough humiliation without inviting more so thank you Charlotte for your offer but I feel I must refuse."

Charlotte had come armed with ammunition knowing how Prissy would react to the idea of going off into the wilds of Kentucky in search of some man.

"Prissy you must come. This may well be my one chance for happiness. You have money to ease things for you. I have nothing but loving parents who will be further burdened if I do not find a man who will take care of me. What will happen when they are older and we have nothing to make life bearable? We shall end up in the poorhouse that's what. We...we may even end up on the streets." Charlotte allowed a little catch to enter her voice as she spoke. She could count on Pricilla's soft heart. She felt awful to do this but it was necessary in order to save the both of them from spinsterhood.

"How much longer do you think I have to bear children? You know how much I love children and look forward to my own. Would you deprive me of that one joy in my life? If you do not come with me I shall not go either. I could not face not having at least one person who was familiar to me." Charlotte had practiced thinking of every sad thing imaginable so she could bring forth tears at will. Taking note of Prissy's wavering resolve Charlotte added her coup degrace.

With tears trickling down her cheeks Charlotte added a few hiccupping sobs. She almost confessed her subterfuge when Prissy's own eyes began to well up. Before Charlotte could mutter another word Prissy had her arms wrapped around Charlotte nearly strangling her as she sobbed, "Oh Charlotte of course we must go. How completely selfish of me to deny you this chance. What have I here to keep me anyway?"

Pushing against Charlotte's shoulders Prissy spoke in a serious tone, "I have but one demand that must be met before giving my word on the matter. If you cannot or will not do this one thing I shall deny your request without compunction."

Not so much as by a flicker of her eyes did Prissy give away whether her request was in jest or serious of nature. Dubiously Charlotte agreed to Prissy's terms.

"Well what you simply must do to win my consent is to please above all else, please do stop calling me Prissy. You know how I hate that shortened version of my name. You had stopped using that childish nickname for me long ago. Did you think that addressing me thus would garner my consent any quicker? You must have forgotten the scraps we had when you taunted me mercilessly with 'Prissy, Prissy, Miss Prissy boots'."

Charlotte chuckled, "Well as a taunt it wasn't very affective other than you hated to be called Prissy. And what about you my not so innocent cousin? Calling me Char the Charwoman?"

The two women had been closer than any sisters but as all children do they had their moments of quarreling. Nothing ever lasted more than an hour or so then they would find one another to weep into one another's shoulders as they apologized profusely for their part in the disagreement.

"Oh, well, I suppose I can forgo that little treat. I do so love getting under your skin though. Someone must shake you up once in a while and if not me then who?" Charlotte shared an affectionate smile with Pricilla.

"Let us pinky swear. It won't be binding unless we pinky swear." Charlotte knew without a doubt Prissy, or rather Pricilla meant her words to be taken seriously. Their pacts and promises had always been sealed with a pinky swear. In truth Charlotte would not have expected Pricilla to show up at the appointed time at the railway without that binding gesture. For the two of them it was as if what they promised had been set in stone with the linking of their fingers.

The next few weeks were a flurry of activity. The house had to be sold. Charlotte had insisted on that point. If Pricilla had that crutch to fall back on she would be too tempted to return home without giving the men of Kentucky a chance. Pricilla had argued how different could Kentucky men be? Men were men when all was said and done. They liked a pretty face and shapely form. Pricilla had a very nicely shaped physical form but lacked the features of a woman who could even claim to be pretty, at least in her own eyes. there had been young men over the years who had found Pricilla charming and pleasant enough to look at. What had kept them away had been her devotion to her parents and her intelligent mind. What man wanted to have the responsibility of their in-laws or a wife who made them feel lacking any brain at all?

Charlotte had often thought that Pricilla could be much more presentable if she dressed fashionably instead all those dour dark colors her mother had pressed on her. She needed to pull her hair back so that her ears were not covered all the time. She looked as if she had ear muffs on all the time. Never could Charlotte remember Pricilla wearing clothing that did not cover every inch of her skin that could reasonably be covered. Pricilla's hands and head were all that had ever been seen by anyone other than Pricilla herself. Even when they were younger Pricilla had been shy of disrobing in front of Charlotte. Another gift bestowed on Pricilla from her mother.

Pricilla had baulked at visiting the dress shops and other stores that catered to women. Charlotte had asked her what good did it do to have a hefty bank account if she did not enjoy any of the benefits it afforded her? Pricilla bargained with Charlotte. If Pricilla was to have new things then Charlotte must have some too. Charlotte did not argue too strenuously.

After only an hour or so it became clear that Charlotte would listen to none of Pricilla's objections or suggestions about her clothing or all the other paraphernalia women wore underneath their clothing. Blushing furiously Pricilla stood before Charlotte and various seamstresses with practically nothing covering her but her own two arms. Helen, the proprietress of the dress shop had assured Pricilla to get the best fit for her frillies it necessitated she be as bare as can be. Charlotte had agreed to let Pricilla at least keep her short knickers on. That concession had allowed her to cover her overly ample bosoms with her arms and hands. Pricilla had never been comfortable with the generous proportions God had given her in that area. To cover those assets Pricilla always wore overly large tops which made her look on the hefty side. It had not helped to have wider hips than considered fashionable.

The day Pricilla picked everything up she went home then placed everything in a trunk. She'd be wearing her old things for quite some time. If she worked up the courage to put those frilly things on she wouldn't have the confidence to wear them in front of anyone, especially a man who happened to be a stranger even if he had married her.

Pricilla's nerves were right under the top layer of her skin. The least thing nearly caused her to jump out of her skin. The closer to the day of departure the worse things got. Pricilla hoped she would be able to keep her promise to Charlotte when the day to leave finally arrived.

**A/N: Remember, R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I wanted to let anyone know who might be reading my story on my website, Death of a Phantom, I have put up three new chapters. I was going to just post this message alone but thought better of it. I know how I hate eagerly waiting for a chapter then get the alert only to find an A/N. So this week you get another early chapter. This may become a habit. I do tend to not want to wait to post especially after so many quick reviews. **

**Chapter Three**

**Day of Reckoning **

The morning that Pricilla and Charlotte left for the station had been somewhat of a rush, as they had spent the night speculating what sort of men they might encounter. Pricilla had doubts racing around inside her head. What if no one claimed her? She'd be stuck in a place where Charlotte would be her only solace. Even she might abandon her cousin, not if, but when she married. Pricilla felt certain Charlotte would make a good match.

Pricilla hadn't had formal training to be a teacher but she was well read as well as intelligent. Perhaps she could be a teacher. She had to smile as the picture of a spinster surrounded by books and cats popped into her head as she wielded chalk and ruler in front of various school aged children.

The clacking of the wheels of the train took on the cadence of an annoying phrase inside Pricilla's head. 'Poor Pricilla, poor Pricilla, poor Pricilla. Even her own mind worked against her. Ever since boarding, Pricilla had the urge to jump from the train. Luckily she had sence enough not to want to kill herself, so she stayed put as Charlotte regaled her with different details of the men on the list.

Pricilla did not think that words written on a list could give any real insight as to a person's personality. Looking at the other women in the car Pricilla wondered what dissatisfaction in their lives had brought the others to this desperate act. For herself it would mean not ending her days a lonely, but wealthy spinster. Perhaps the man, if one would even accept her, perhaps she'd have children to comfort her in a loveless marriage.

Thinking of what intimacies would need to take place had Pricilla back to wanting to jump once more from the train. What did she know of such things? She had never even been kissed by a man. When she thought on it, Pricilla could not even remember a time when her mother or father had given her anything more than a quick cold embrace.

Sinking lower into the seat Pricilla groaned drawing Charlotte's attention from the chronological list of prospective husbands everyone had received upon signing the contract. Charlotte knowing her cousin well saw the concern Pricilla clearly felt about what would be happening within the next few days. A couple of days on the train then a night in town, then they would be meeting the men who had signed up for a bride.

"Pricilla if you sink any lower in the seat I think you just might fall onto the floor. Now sit up and tell me what has caused such distress other than the obvious?" Charlotte took her cousin's hand feeling how cold Pricilla's hands were. At this rate Pricilla would worry herself into an early grave thereby negating the necessity for this trip.

"It…it well you see…I have never and they probably have and what will whoever he is think of me? What will he expect of me? As for myself I don't expect much but I have heard…well to put it delicately I have heard that men require certain things on a regular basis. I am not sure of all it entails but from what I have heard it is a nasty business indeed with little to recommend it where women are concerned." Pricilla glanced around hoping no one could hear her. They more than likely had already concluded just by looking at her that she remained as untouched as the Virgin Mary and green as grass where that sort of thing was concerned or even anything remotely related to it.

"Oh Prissy only you would get into such a tangle of worry over something that I imagine comes naturally to almost everyone. No one comes out into the world knowing exactly the how's and why's of things but with patience and the right partner I think it should surpass anything on earth. Is that sort of thing not what created the best plays, books and operas?

I haven't gone further than a stolen kiss but I do think I will know what to put where when the time comes." It didn't take but a second for the shock on Pricilla's face to manifest itself in words containing an equal amount of shock.

"Charlotte Meriwether-Carpenter! How can you speak so cavalierly about something so…so...?" Pricilla found herself unable to finish the sentence.

"Intimate? Necessary? Exciting? What word or words suit you best? Relax Pricilla. God will not strike you down for having carnal thoughts. Not even your parents would haunt you for feeling and thinking about something most women have experienced by the time they are sixteen.

Do you think all those rushed marriages this last spring were because love had been in the air infecting everyone with its madness? No, dear sweet innocent girl, they rushed to tie the knot so the innocent offspring would be born on the right side of the blanket.

I am not worried about any man controlling me or not getting what I want from him." Charlotte glanced over her shoulder then said in a whisper, "Besides I had the forethought to purchase a few of those rather naughty books everyone is in an uproar over. I thought we could use them as a sort of guide if we get stuck knowing what to do or not to do. I don't know about you but I for one will not simply lie beneath a man and endure as he takes his pleasure. I want that glory land that those few lucky women among or crowd have hinted at all these years.

There must be something to recommend it or women wouldn't keep coming back for more popping out babies once a year. Loyalty and duty toward ones spouse goes only so far."

Pricilla could only stare at her cousin in wide-eyed wonder. Oh to have that sort of confidence in oneself must be grand. Pricilla felt as confident as a mouse among a roomful of hungry cats. She'd have as much chance of standing up to a man when she came face to face with one who would have every right to enter her bed like it or not, as that mouse had with the roomful of cats.

Over the next two days Charlotte tried to reassure Pricilla this had been a wise decision all the while her own confidence began to falter. Who was she to say what was or was not right for her cousin? Lord she could barely sustain her belief in this herself.

To bolster her flagging moral Charlotte used the small basin in the necessary to bathe as best as she could. They'd be arriving soon and she wanted to look her best. She'd wake Pricilla so she could freshen up too. Charlotte knew it would do no good to try to persuade Pricilla to change into one of her new attractive dresses. Pricilla could be a real prude at times.

The dresses weren't that scandalous. They covered the essentials giving only a glimpse of what lay beneath all the trappings. The lingerie, now most of that had been scandalous. Whatever man got to see Pricilla in those thin as gossamer wings nightclothes had better have a strong heart. Charlotte had forced her way into the dressing cubicle so she could see how Pricilla had looked. Charlotte had hardly recognized the woman before her as her shy prudish cousin.

Pricilla had literally let her hair down. The long glistening tresses had framed Pricilla's ample frame. God had blessed Pricilla with lush breasts as well as ample hips, a fact which Pricilla deplored because her mother had often commented her daughter would at least be able to deliver easily with her wide hips as well as give sustenance from her well endowed bosom.

Charlotte had always felt rather sorry for her cousin but had at that moment realized that Pricilla may at first seem quite ordinary but if she took the time to accentuate her assets, Pricilla could be quite the man trap, not that she would ever see that within herself or believe Charlotte if she had told Pricilla that despite what she and others may think, sometimes beauty of a quiet nature could spring forth with a resounding clash forcing everyone around to take a second look.

A shaking of her shoulder by Charlotte had woken Pricilla from an uneasy sleep. Pricilla had gone in to freshen up with the overnight bag the women were told to fill with their immediate needs as the rest of their things were a few cars back. Pricilla had changed her ugly brown day dress for an equally ugly and depressing black one. If Charlotte was not mistaken Pricilla had worn that very dress to her mother and father's funerals. Did she look upon the coming events as something funereal?

Not having time to do anything with her cousin's appearance Charlotte sprayed a little of her own French perfume she had splurged on hoping to win favor by smell alone. Predictably her cousin had protested but without any favorable results.

The shrill whistle of the train signaled their arrival. Pricilla felt her whole body tighten with anxiety. Nothing good would come of this. She'd be left alone while everyone else paired up with someone. It would be like all those dances she had attended where she would slip behind the tallest plant in a corner or find a quiet corner of whichever garden she happened to be in at the time. Old hurts lurked just under the surface ready to add more hurt and humiliation when Pricilla found herself the only woman left standing alone.

The disembarking felt to Pricilla like those poor cattle must feel when coming down the ramp from being cooped up in a somewhat small cattle car crowded shoulder to shoulder with other beasts headed for the same grizzly fate. This last thought Pricilla decided she had best keep to herself as Charlotte tended to become emotional when she had to think of how meat got from hoof to table. She hated to think that something must die in order for her to gain sustenance.

The platform seemed to have every spare inch occupied by every shape and size of man ever born. The men stood hats in hands as the women disembarked. The procession of women filing out of the car gave the men an opportunity to look over their prospective brides. They too had been given a list of names with a matching set of statistics and accomplishments.

The list with details had been forwarded a couple of weeks ahead of the women's arrival. Descriptions as well as information about each lady had been written underneath their name as well as any photographs that had been offered. Every potential bride had to fill out a questionnaire as well as list any special skills they may have along with a brief biography. The men had essentially chosen their woman already before they had arrived. Changes could be made of course at the time of the get together luncheon. The final pairings would then take place.

Once everyone had left the car a very tall dark-haired man stepped forward. Hat in hand he raised his hand to quiet everyone. Once order had been restored he introduced himself as Michael Landry the town mayor as well as one of the coordinators of the project to bring the ladies to Tyler Crossing. Charlotte for once in her life had been struck dumb and speechless. Her knees felt as if they might not hold her in her present standing position. Grabbing onto Pricilla's arm Charlotte finally felt able to take in a breath of air. The man had left her winded with only a few short words addressed to everyone but Charlotte felt as if he had spoken just to her. That feeling had only intensified when his eyes had captured hers holding her a willing captive.

Michael had hoped Erik would decide to come to town but he had not seen him all day. Most of the bachelors had arrived hours before the train had been due to pull in. They had discussed the merits of this woman or that woman. It had not been a romantic process getting those women to come to the hills of Kentucky to marry a man sight unseen only until a couple of days before the actual ceremony. Any woman who withdrew from the offered list must repay the expense of the travel arrangements. A women refusing more than three proposals would be considered in breech of contract with the same results for her as the ones who drop out.

Among the milling crowd of men and women Pricilla felt somewhat superfluous. She tried to smile when she thought a gentleman may be headed her way only to be disappointed when he passed her by to introduce himself to someone else.

Mr. Landry had his eye on Charlotte. He made that perfectly clear as he offered her his arm to escort her into the hotel where the women would be staying until the nuptials had been exchanged. Pricilla trailed behind feeling unnecessary. Not one gentleman had approached her. It was no less than she expected. Had she not spent the last few hours of the journey lecturing herself about expecting too much?

Once inside the hotel they were lead into a large dining hall which had been set up with a buffet loaded with all manner of savory items to tempt the pallet. Tea, coffee and water were also being served.

Mr. Landry once again quieted everyone to invite everyone to partake of the feast while acquainting themselves with their intended. Pricilla saw that each man had a scrap of paper. Apparently names were written down to be matched with the nametags being handed out to the women. Reluctantly Pricilla took her own nametag then took her place beside Charlotte in the line waiting for some man to claim her.

Charlotte had been snapped up by Mr. Landry right away. Slowly couples were pairing up. The line of women grew shorter. Pricilla felt her face beginning to burn with humiliation as one by one the women beside her were approached by the man interested in wedding them.

Pricilla bolstered her ego by repeating over and over that this was not even romantic. Not to be chosen in this manner would be a blessing. If would afford her the opportunity to find a gentleman who would be willing to court her before jumping into marriage. There had to still be single men in the town who had not signed on for this travesty. Pricilla completely overlooked the fact that she too had signed on for said travesty.

When Pricilla stood only with one other woman beside her, she knew once again she would be finding some corner to hide in so as not to be pitied. She'd not let anyone know how hurt she felt as she had been passed over time and time again.

Besides herself, only one other women remained unmatched. Miss Loretta Davis, a woman of forty-three years stood proudly beside the much younger Pricilla. Loretta had not married as she had been responsible for the raising of her five brothers and sisters. By the time she had made sure every one of her siblings had a settled life it had been far too late to expect any sort of amiable offers of marriage. She had not even been courted as a young girl. Life had passed her by while she had been busy attending to her family.

When she had read about this insanity at first she had dismissed it. As the lonely days passed one by one the idea began to have an appeal. Not having youthful good looks any longer Loretta thought a man far from civilization might not mind a plain looking woman passed her prime in exchange for a woman skilled in every aspect of keeping a home running smoothly as well as being able to stretch a penny into three.

Charlotte had been going to ask Michael to invite Pricilla and Loretta to their table when a commotion at the door drew everyone's attention. A very tall well built man came stomping into the room. He did not look pleased at all to be here. The scowl upon his face would unsettle anyone wishing to approach him. The mask on his face at first glance would give one pause for thought also. The women scooted closer to their willing heroes not knowing if this masked man was some marauder coming to relieve them of their worldly goods.

Loretta grabbed onto Pricilla ready to give fight if this masked man intended to rob or harm anyone. Her protective instincts would not let her stand idly by while someone of a weaker nature was harmed.

Pricilla had only a quick look at the newest man to enter the room. He had looked as if he had stepped right out of some novel about a dashing pirate. The cloth about his face aided in the pirate image while his head was topped by a rather large hat that most westerners found to be necessary, gave him a look of danger. What she had been able to see of him looked better than average. Far better.

Michael excused himself from his table to latch onto Erik before he turned tail to head back home. The man did not look at all as if he intended to stay or even felt the least bit happy to be here. Michael did not know much about Erik or his past. What he had deduced on his own had been that Erik more than any man he knew wanted roots, something permanent. Erik wanted a family but because of his affliction felt he would never gain a woman's interest.

Erik had told Michael a little of his past but not anything that would give anyone a clue as to what his life had been before immigrating to America. Michael knew that Erik had been some sort of composer in a Paris opera house. Any more than that he could only speculate other than Erik had hinted at a romance that had ended badly.

"Erik you cut it kind of short didn't you? There are only two women unclaimed. Well one that will be of interest to you as the other is somewhat older. As luck would have it the younger one, Pricilla Carpenter is the cousin of the woman I may ask to be my wife."

Michael turned to point toward where a rather plain woman in black stood by an even more dour looking older woman in a dark faded colorless dress of her own. Erik had not expected much from this but could not help feeling disappointed. After Christine's beauty ever other woman would compare unfavorably in Erik's eyes. He had at least hoped for a pleasant looking woman. A man in his position could not afford to be choosey. He should be grateful to have anyone at all willing to be with him. Of course he had not as yet met the woman and she still had a choice to accept or deny him. Perhaps he had counted his chickens before they hatched as the saying went.

"Michael I had only at the last minute decided to even come to town. I have been indecisive about this whole thing." Erik had been agitated all morning. He had hardly slept a wink. One moment he had thought it would not be so bad to at least give it a try to find someone willing to be his wife. At his next turn around the veranda he would have changed his mind not eager to risk rejection in such a public way again.

"Erik all men take a chance when offering their worldly goods to their intended. Someone has to make the first move risking rejection. Society has deemed it that men should be the risk takers in this arena. After the initial introduction things will become easier. No one will think any the less of you if things don't work out. If you had been here earlier you would have seen partners being handed off rather frequently. It takes a little while to find someone who is at least slightly compatible."

Leading the way Michael went to where the two lone women stood looking out of place among all the chattering couples around them. It was nothing new to Pricilla but she felt sorry for poor Loretta. She had come all this way with high hopes only to be passed over. It wasn't fair. Loretta had so much to offer.

Pricilla vowed not to leave Loretta standing by herself like some unwanted piece of furniture. It only then occurred to Pricilla that perhaps the gentleman Mr. Landry was leading their way may have an interest in Loretta and she herself may well be the one standing alone.

"Ah, Miss Carpenter is it?" Michael put his most charming manners into play. He did not want any of the women to be unhappy as that would not lend credibility to the next projected offering.

"Please sir, call me Pricilla and this is Loretta Davis." Pricilla could not look either man in the eye. She mentally berated her habit to be so shy when around others. Even people she had known for years tied her tongue in knots. She had no control over the tide of red that always flooded her neck and face. Oh how she wished she had even a smidgen of Charlotte's confidence.

"I would like to introduce Erik Dante ladies. He is one of our more illustrious citizens. He owns a very prosperous horse and cattle ranch."

Pricilla cast an under browed peek at the man beside Michael. From Pricilla's rather hasty first look she garnered that the man could be considered impressive by anyone's standards. Why would he settle for her when he could wait to obtain some woman more suited for a man like him? Surely an inexperienced plain looking woman had not been what he sought when he came looking for a bride. The horrid realization came to Pricilla that since he had already contracted for a bride he felt obligated to take one. She being the lesser of two evils in his eyes, he had decided he would do the honorable thing by offering marriage. Possibly he hoped she would refuse him. Right at this moment that private forgotten corner looked very inviting.

"Pricilla, Loretta, would you do us the honor of joining us at our table? I am sure your cousin had been about to invite the both of you to join us. Please come this way so that we may get better acquainted."

Not quite understanding what this meant Pricilla cast quick little glances toward the man she supposed might be her intended. Did his compliance to Michael's suggestion mean he would consider her as a candidate? Panic began to set in. What could she possibly offer such a man? He would learn on the first night she knew next to nothing about the workings of men's and women's bodies. Just now Pricilla felt like cursing her parents for their lack of interest in teaching her any skills that would allow her to be at ease around others.

Michael had offered Loretta his arm hoping to give Erik the opportunity to pay Pricilla a compliment in private. Women loved to hear compliments from women. Even an untruthful one could make the most sedate old dowager blush like a debutante.

When they reached the table Pricilla nearly lost what little power to think she retained when Erik came up behind her. He only meant to pull her chair out for her as a gentleman would. Feeling ridiculous for seeing things that were not there Pricilla took the chair Erik held out for her.

Much to her surprise he afforded Loretta the same courtesy. It didn't take a mind reader to see Loretta had fallen for this impressive man. Loretta indeed felt her heart flutter within her chest. Such gallantry had never been offered to her by any male. He did not take the open chair by Pricilla but sat on Loretta's right.

Whether or not he had intended to make her feel less of a curiosity or not, Loretta felt such a swift allegiance to this man who was a stranger to her but one she would not be adverse to knowing better. She would not let her silly old maid heart fall totally under his spell for it seemed clear Michael had meant for Pricilla to be partnered with Mr. Erik Dante.

The conversation remained stilted between Erik and Pricilla if one could call a word or two a conversation. Erik thought the woman felt frightened of him as she would not meet his eye or speak above a whisper. He had to strain to catch her words. Loretta on the other hand had loosened up as the meal had progressed.

Erik did not want either woman really as the woman who would replace Christine in his dreams of having a wife. He could wait until the next allotment of women arrived. The next time he could make sure he arrived long before anyone else.

When he looked past Loretta he saw Pricilla with her head down as her hands lay in her lap. A more forlorn lost soul Erik could only recall seeing in his own mirror shortly after he had lost Christine. Erik cursed this new tendency he had for feeling compassion. Had he not declared to the boy, Raoul de Chagny that the world had shown him no compassion? Why had he suddenly developed all this need to offer lesser beings a helping hand? He wanted to tell Michael he had changed his mind. After the meal he had taken Michael aside to do that very thing when much to his disgust he found himself informing Michael to place Miss Pricilla Jane Carpenter on the list of women who had partners.

A picnic on Saturday with the preacher in attendance had been arranged. The man of God felt it his duty to at least give the couples some advice and guidelines in place of the normal recitation about love and loyalty binding two people together into one entity. Reverend Horace Mitchell could not say he had been at all pleased when this whole idea of importing women had begun. Some months later he had to say things had been working out fairly well. There had only been a few instances of disharmony. The ceremony joining everyone would take place on Sunday after Sunday's church service.

Erik gave his assurance to Michael he would be there. He could not bring himself to face his prospective bride once more. Tomorrow would be soon enough. If he was getting married Erik supposed he should pay a visit to the town's only jeweler. This thought reminded him of the ring Christine had returned to him just before she left. It had not been a ring he had chosen but the ring Erik had ripped from Christine's neck during the Masquerade Ball.

As a reminder of his folly Erik had kept the ring. He hid it among many other reminders of Christine. He chose to think of them as only reminders of his stupidity when many were clearly objects kept as mementoes of a woman a man still loved deeply even if he could not admit that to himself.

Erik could see a sleepless night ahead of him. Saturday night would be no better. Perhaps that would afford him an excuse not to partake of his bride's charms. During the meal he could not say he had even felt one iota of attraction for his prospective life's partner. That did not bode well at all. One thing Erik had promised himself after making up his mind to do this had been that he would not remain a man unknown to the pleasures of the body for much longer. He'd not demand anything yet as he did not feel he could perform satisfactorily. He would at least like to know Pricilla a little better before entering into an intimate union. Erik did not discount the possibility she would refuse him in the end anyway. He at least would know tomorrow if he was to acquire a wife or not.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**Removing the Layers**

Pricilla, Charlotte, Loretta and three other women had shared a room. The hotel while being of a rather large size did not have ample rooms for so many women along with the other passengers who had been on the same train.

They had stayed up most of the night discussing their prospective husbands speculating how their honeymoon night might be. Pricilla tried to quash the rising hope she felt in her heart. The man, Erik had not been overly talkative but he at least had sat at the same table with her even though he had placed Loretta between them. He hadn't gone running off in the other direction when he found he would be saddled with a homely wife.

It had become plain to everyone during the exchange of confidences that Charlotte, if not in love with Michael Landry she certainly found him intriguing. They could not miss the dreamy-eyed glaze that had come over Charlotte when she spoke of the man. It had not gone unnoticed by everyone how attentive the man had been to Charlotte.

Pricilla had already made up her mind that after she and Erik married she would bring Loretta with her as a housekeeper or something. Having no idea what type of household Erik had Pricilla could not judge if they would even have need of another woman to help with the running of the house.

Not wanting to disappoint her if things did not work out Pricilla did not mention anything about her plan. Erik may well have changed his mind by tomorrow anyway. He had not seemed overly enthusiastic to even obtain a wife let alone one looking as Pricilla did. She and Loretta could find themselves permanent residents of the hotel unless they returned to Boston with the outgoing train. That prospect held no appeal whatsoever for Pricilla. Being a woman of means did give her some options. If she was to remain a spinster at least she had the wherewithal to provide a home for herself. It would cost only slightly more to have Loretta living with her. A companion keeping her company as she grew old and gray appealed far more to Pricilla than returning home where she would be forced to listen to everyone whispering 'I told you so'.

The morning promised to be a beautiful day. Being the end of June it could have been hot and humid. Charlotte talked Pricilla into at least wearing a dress with some color in it. As a surprise Charlotte presented Pricilla with a new pink and white parasol. She knew that freckles were one of those things Pricilla hated about her face. Charlotte had always thought they gave Pricilla an attractive youthful look that would last long into old age.

When they were all ready they headed downstairs to await the men's arrival to whisk their potential partners away for a day of picnicking and getting to know more about one another. As the wagons and buggies began to come and go with no sign of Erik Pricilla almost turned tail to head back to the hotel room. She refused to let fall the tears she felt prickling at the corners of her eyes. She blinked rapidly to ease the burn of unshed tears.

Michael had come for Charlotte. Not wanting to leave Pricilla in case Erik did not have the courtesy to show up or send a note explaining himself, Charlotte asked if he cared to wait a few minutes more. Michael could see how much Charlotte cared for her younger cousin. He graciously stated the heat of the day had taken its toil already and so he thought a short rest would be in order. They all knew he blatantly lied but neither woman would take him to task for his gallant lie.

Fuming Michael called Erik many names other than his own. Erik was unpredictable but surely he would not leave the woman standing on the front veranda of the hotel. Erik had not told Michael the whole sorrowful tale of his lost love but Michael had deduced enough to know it had been extremely painful and Erik had yet to relinquish all of his pain. Sometimes Erik had such a lost look upon his face. Michael had thought those moments of remembered days with his lover had come less for Erik over the last months.

Pricilla persuaded Charlotte that she would be fine. Erik most likely had some last minute emergency crop up. He did have the responsibility for many animals under his care. Not wanting Loretta to miss out either Pricilla shooed her along with her cousin and Michael. Pricilla defended Erik more for her own pride than to support him. It had never been easy to accept that sometimes life handed us disappointments. Pricilla's life had been peppered with such moments of disappointment and it never came easier. One learned how not to show the hurt but could not keep the heart from bruising.

Watching them leave felt like Pricilla had let go the last friend she had in the world. Feeling passersby casting pitying glances her way Pricilla lifted her head to a proud angle. Darned if she would sit out here looking like some abandoned waif while the townspeople passed by casting looks at her filled with pity and some she felt sure were maliciously intended. She had not missed the few women who had made a point of passing by her several times. A few came with another female whispering as they passed in front of her. She'd give him another fifteen minutes then go back inside, perhaps twenty at the most.

Erik had debated whether or not he would return to town. Contrary to everyone's belief that he would send a note if he intended to cancel, Erik had no such intention. It had not crossed Erik's mind to do so. Never having had to be responsible for anyone other than himself left Erik lacking in the skills to treat people as society would expect now that he had taken a place among them.

He had walked through his home going from room to room hearing nothing but the hollow thud of his boots upon the hardwood floors. Silence had been one of those lifetime companions Erik felt ready to discard just as he had shed the darkness.

Not knowing if any more women would be coming within the next few months Erik shoved his doubts aside. He went to the stable to rig the buggy and the docile grey mare he had bought to pull it. His horse Midnight Dream would not be appropriate to ride as he could not expect a female to sit on the saddle in front of him. Erik could just imagine the tongues wagging if he did such a thing.

When Erik at last arrived he found Pricilla sitting alone in front of the hotel. Only then did he think that maybe he should have sent a note to let her know one way or the other if he intended to come. Damn he had not even officially asked her to wed him and already he had acted like an uncaring oaf. If luck would be with him the ring in his pocket might sooth any hurt feelings she might have.

She did not even wait for Erik to step down to assist her into the buggy. She climbed in plopping down hard enough to shake the buggy from side to side. Well that answered his question as to whether she felt angry or not.

Giving her a quick look Erik saw that her hands were clasped tightly around her cloth bag and a very feminine looking parasol. The tight pursing of her lips let him know that she would not likely be speaking to him any time soon. Erik could not say if he felt relieved or annoyed by her attitude. It was not as if they had any real commitment or anything. Erik knew he had behaved in a manner that no gentleman would. He sighed heavily. Having to think all the time whether he should or should not do something had become a burden he could well do without. He much preferred the old days when he did and said what he pleased without the need to consider anyone else's feelings.

This was not a very good start to the day. Erik could only hope it did not go downhill from here. What did a man say to a woman if he wished to receive her pardon for some transgression? Erik had no idea how he should proceed. If he were to let the Phantom take over for a few minutes he'd have Miss Pricilla Jane Carpenter straightened out in no time at all. He would also likely frighten her into scurrying back to Boston.

When they arrived Pricilla remained in the carriage. Erik wondered if he offered to aid her in reaching the ground safely if she would slap his face. It would be no less than he deserved. Hesitantly Erik raised his hands up offering her his assistance if she needed it.

Pricilla placed her parasol and bag on the seat of the buggy. Erik felt astounded when she placed her two delicate hands on his shoulders to allow him to lift her to the ground. Placing his hands on her waist Erik found it to be not quite as small as Christine's had been. Erik did not feel the stiffness of a corset underneath his hands. He felt soft flesh through the thin layers of cloth.

For no apparent reason, the knowledge that only a few layers of material separated his hands from her flesh shot straight to his groin, causing a surprising reaction in a very expressive male fashion. At least now he knew he could find her attractive enough to raise his ardor.

Pricilla felt as if she could not take another breath. Erik held her aloft with his hands around her waist. When she gave a quick look into his eyes Pricilla saw a strange fire burning there. She hoped he was not angry with her for being so put out with him. At least he had come in the end.

An urge overcame her to flex her fingers into his strong shoulders which Pricilla managed to curtail. The spreading warmth in her lower belly was not anything she was familiar with. As he lowered her Pricilla felt her breasts brush against his chest causing strange tingles in them as well as the tightening of her nipples. Another until now unknown sensation.

So many new sensations were coursing through Pricilla all at once. She felt faint from the barrage of emotions. When she felt her feet touch ground she breathed a sigh of relief when Erik released her. One moment longer with him so near instilling such cravings within her and she could not be responsible for what she might have done.

Erik had not held a woman so closely to him since Christine. He felt the same churning inside that Christine's closeness had brought out in him. Erik couldn't decide if Pricilla's flushed face was the result of her anger toward him for his ungentlemanly behavior or something else that he felt to unsure of to even put a name to. It had crossed his mind that his face this close to her had unsettled her.

Even having lived among these people for well over a year now did not make Erik any more comfortable concerning his face and how others reacted to him. Among those in town there were still a few who reacted unfavorably to him. Michael had told him not to worry that some people only saw the outer shell of a person and not what could be found underneath the layers of what made up a person's character.

Erik had wanted to tell Michael at that point of all his past transgressions but had restrained the urge to purge his soul to another human being. There had been times when Erik had even thought he might go to Reverend Mitchell to confess all of his sins. Men of the cloth were bound by an oath to keep the secrets of the sins confessed to them in confidentiality.

Not yet willing to trust anyone that completely, not even a man of God Erik had kept his own council. He'd work through his soul's burdens by himself. Any confessions or requests for pardon of his sins Erik felt would be kept between him and God. He was not even sure he held any real belief that there was a God looking down on him.

When he was younger he had begged God to tell him why he had been chosen to carry such a curse upon his face. Antoinette had told him that prayers were sometimes answered but not in a way we might understand or have the result we wanted. Speaking to God could help lead a person to do the right thing. Never having any reply to his questions began to lead Erik to believe Christianity was a great hoax perpetrated by those holy men who picked the poor working classes pockets. Antoinette had deplored his loss of faith. She claimed to be worried about his immortal soul. She should have been more concerned with his mortal misdeeds.

Hoping he could improve a rocky beginning Erik offered Pricilla his arm. He could have been mistaken but he thought he saw a quick smile of pleasure pass over her face.

Much to everyone's surprise the day went well. Nothing unpleasant presented itself to spoil their time learning more about one another. At least for the others it went along as planned. Erik could not seem to find any words to begin a conversation. How did one speak to another when all you knew of conversations came from behind walls, mirrors and notes?

Of course Erik could converse with Michael and other men. Even with men he found himself not quite at ease speaking face to face. Apparently the knack for interactions with others was not an inborn skill while the need to interact with others was something humans craved as well as needed from time to time.

Rather than use verbal communication Erik set about catering to Pricilla's every need. He made sure to offer her every savory food item while refilling her glass when it threatened to empty. Michael and Charlotte had taken pity on him and proceeded to ask questions of both him and Pricilla. In this way they learned a bit about the other.

Erik could not help but take notice of Pricilla's voice. It had such a soothing quality. He could imagine her singing something sweet and romantic. Her voice would not lend itself to any operatic compositions as she would need to project much more than she did now. Confidence could help with that. Not wishing to compare her unfairly to Christine Erik decided Pricilla's voice had a pleasant tone which he could listen to without it irritating him after only a few minutes. Yes, he concluded, he wouldn't mind having to listen to her on a daily basis.

When Reverend Mitchell had begun his lecture, for that was what it turned out to be, Erik only listened with half his attention. This gave him time to assess his intended slowly. Erik watched her carefully. Pricilla appeared to be a quiet shy woman. Cataloguing every feature Erik did not at first find any outward sign of beauty or even a somewhat pretty woman.

On his third or fourth inspection he found the freckles across her nose not at all offensive. They leant character to her face. Her lips had a softness about them that intensified whenever she smiled, which she did shyly and quite often. That indicated someone who had an easy gentle nature.

Erik could not forget that other than treating him to silence during the trip out of town Pricilla had not berated him as she would had been justified to do. She had not even called him on his poor behavior as many women would have done. Although not overly talkative she had loosened up during the day. She had spoken to Charlotte and Michael easily enough. If she had not directed any comment toward him Erik held himself to blame as he had not directed any conversation in her direction either. In point of fact Erik could not recall initiating any portion of the conversation. He had left things to Michael and Charlotte.

Having had time to examine things from all angles Erik formed the opinion that he could be satisfied with Pricilla as his life's partner. For Erik the exchange of those sacred vows would tie them through life and into eternity. He would stand by his pledge and would expect no less from her.

When the moment came to depart for the hotel Erik felt his nerves beginning to fray. Between here and the hotel he must find the words that would offer her all his worldly goods in exchange for all her loyalty and companionship. Erik would not include the intimate issue just yet as neither of them were likely ready to enter into that area of their relationship just now.

Crass and cowardly or not when they had returned to town Erik helped Pricilla down from the buggy with no set plan in mind other than securing his ring on her finger somehow. It might have helped during the journey home if they had spoken a word or two to one another. The only sound had been the clopping of the horse's hoofs and the jingle of the metal in the rigging.

When Erik set Pricilla down on the ground they looked at one another expectantly. Neither seemed ready or able to break the silence. In frustration Erik jammed his hand in his pocket pulling out the ring he had purchased. He silently thrust it toward her. Pricilla blinked at the sudden movement as well as having his hand thrust unceremoniously into her face.

The ring in the palm of his hand looked beautiful even from that distance. If she expected him to offer to place it on her finger she was sorely disappointed. He did nothing other than offer the ring to her. Gingerly Pricilla took the ring to put it on her own finger. This moment could not be said to resemble any of her girlish dreams of how this moment would play out. Her prince charming in her imagination had gotten down on one knee to propose then picked her up whirling her around giddily when she accepted his proposal. The kiss they had exchanged had not been passionate as she had only been a young girl at the time. Even later the kiss had been only a pleasant meeting of mouths. Not having been kissed at the ripe age of twenty-two Pricilla had not known what passion felt like.

In reality what she got was a sullen looking man thrusting his offering into her face seeming not to care one way or the other whether or not she accepted him. Pricilla supposed she could hardly expect anything more as she had not made any effort to win him over. Her innate shyness had held her tongue silent the whole day other than to answer direct questions from Michael or Charlotte. Now that she thought about it Erik had done the same thing. They had not spoken one word between them directly.

In an effort to bring some sort of normalcy to this odd moment Pricilla whispered shyly, "Thank you. It is beautiful." Not knowing what to do she raised herself onto her tiptoes to give his cheek a quick peck. To her chagrin she had kissed the side of his face with the cloth mask. She did not know if he was sensitive about his wounds or not. She didn't even know if what was hidden resulted from an accident of birth or from some tragedy in his life.

When he remained silent Pricilla hurriedly wished him a good-day then ran up the steps then through the door into the hotel. Erik remained looking at the spot where Pricilla had disappeared. When she had touched her lips to the side of his ruined face Erik had almost thrust her aside. Some niggle of sanity had saved him from committing such an error of judgment.

He had worried that Pricilla might feel the ridges of twisted flesh that made up the right side of his face or worse, pull it away as Christine had on two occasions with disastrous consequences. By the time Erik concluded she only intended to give him a salutation she had already been running up the steps to finally disappear behind the door.

Tomorrow Erik would tie himself irrevocably to another person. One who would have claim to all he possessed. He would have the responsibilities of a husband whatever that entailed. Perhaps he should have listened to Reverend Mitchell's lecture more closely. He may have need of words of wisdom in the near future.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I tried to find where it was that I described the color of Pricilla's eyes. I think I had them being green as Kentucky grass. Well...in recent chapters they are blue. A wondrous shade of sky blue. If anyone finds what chapter I put her eyes as green please let me know for purposes of congruity. **

**Chapter Five**

**Tying the Knot**

Pricilla stared with unseeing eyes into the mirror. Today would be her wedding day. Not hers alone but with numerous other couples. Could anything be less romantic? As she sat there Pricilla tried to think of something she could do that would make this a special day to remember. Nothing came readily to mind. Her face would be just one among a sea of other faces.

Running her hands down over her dress Pricilla could not help feeling pleased with her choice. The sheer top let her creamy skin show through without looking vulgar. The small ruffle at the neck leant it a subdued quality only hinting at something more evocative underneath.

The sleeves flowed all the way to her wrists where lace encircled her slim wrists to match that at her neck. The same sheer material had been used to make the sleeves. The skirt had been fashioned in the newer slim fitting style becoming more popular among the ladies who set the fashion trends.

Fine French silk stockings encased her legs. Her undergarments were frilly bits of nothing. She blushed even thinking of the naughty way they made her feel. Charlotte had insisted on this ensemble and Pricilla could say she found nothing unfavorable in her choices. She had even splurged on a pair of white heels. Having always worn sturdy black boots Pricilla's feet felt as if she had nothing on them at all. She could not help taking a peek at her shoes then raising her skirt higher to admire her shapely leg.

Never having shaved her legs in her life Pricilla had let Charlotte persuade her that this would now be a necessity along with shaving her underarms. The validity of this had escaped Pricilla until afterward. She then could see the difference. She bit her lip as the unpleasant thought came that all of this may have been useless expectations and speculation. Erik may not wish to share such things with her. He certainly had not been remotely interested on Friday or during Saturday's picnic. As for Pricilla herself she had given the matter much thought throughout the night. All those years of wonedering what all the hoopla was about could be revealed to her tonight. She had to say she did feel a bit of trepidation but also excitment at the idea of at last learning just what differences men and women had in more aspects than those one could see. She had heard things, even seen pictures in medical books thanks to her parents. Drawn pictures though unless copied from something real and given actual reproduction were not very adequate learning tools.

Men tended to exaggerate certain things so what some man had written did not necessarily constitute the truth. Pricilla felt quite shameful to be thinking of such things. Knowing what might come later in the evening she justified her curiosity about how Erik would look with less clothing on. She dare not try to envision him totally lacking in clothing. Well she couldn't really as she had not seen all parts of a man. Not anything that looked as if it could be real. Lord above what if it were all true? How did women bear such things entering them or welcoming them a second time?

Pricilla put all those sort of ideas away firmly reprimanding herself for giving in to her fears. She'd be much better served thinking of the next few minutes not some ambiguous time later on.

To make the procedure flow more smoothly a list had been compiled as to how the couples should line up outside the church where a large tent had been erected. The men would be on one side and the women would be on the opposite side. They would file in coming together in the middle. They would then proceed down the isle to take a place in front of the platform on which Reverend Mitchell would be standing.

As the time drew closer to head over to the church the room became quieter. Charlotte for once had nothing to say. The six women looked from one to another wondering what the hell had brought them to this stage of life where they would be committing themselves to men they knew little or nothing about.

Desperation was the common thread binding them together. Everyone needed to belong. For women the nesting instinct drove them to entrust their hearts and souls to men. Men wanted those things also but for the most part the need to mate and produce progeny were the driving forces that led a man to tie himself to one woman. Society decreed he cleave only unto one woman otherwise men would still be using the caveman's method of clubbing a woman then dragging her off to the bushes.

Being alone with no prospects for the future for a woman in this day and time could have devastating effects. A lone woman could be prey to all manner of injustices. A man may have control of every aspect of his mates life but at least he kept away all those who would take advantage of her vulnerability.

When they could no longer find anything to keep them they filed out into the hall. They did not seem so eager to begin this new phase of their lives at this moment. It had been one thing to plan for this day but quite another to actually carry it out.

The hallway seemed packed with women who had no desire to take that first step down toward their new life. Charlotte came to the conclusion if someone did not take that first step they could be standing in this hallway all day. Taking the initiative Charlotte wrapped her arm through Pricilla's pulling her along beside her as she descended the stairs.

Michael and Reverend Mitchell had enlisted the aid of a few married men to transfer the ladies to the church. The distance to the church covered only a couple of streets but no one wanted their bride to arrive sweating and flushed from the heat.

Taking a seat on one of the wagons Charlotte said, "Well I guess this is it Pricilla. I don't mind telling you I am scared to death. Michael has been charming and I do like him but Lord bless me, we know nothing about one another. Are we insane to be even considering something so drastic?"

Pricilla knew Charlotte wanted her to assure her that, 'No, they were not insane. This was the best thing for them. Everything would be fine'. If Pricilla could convince herself of this then she could give Charlotte some reassurance. As it was Pricilla had to struggle not to shout out for the driver to stop and let her out.

The women were not the only ones nervous about the upcoming nuptials. Erik had nearly paced holes in every rug in the house. He had changed his suit three times. Usually he avoided looking into any mirror unless absolutely necessary but today he could not seem to keep from examining his reflection in the mirror. Worse, it was a full length mirror in his bedroom.

He picked himself apart over and over. Before he had not thought himself as anything other than an ugly deformed outcast. Now he had a precarious life built on lies while still looking like the same poor reclusive Phantom from Paris. Erik supposed he would always keep some residual components of his former self, his outward appearance being the most noticeable remainder of his former persona.

Erik knew he had made progress over time controlling his tendencies to lose control of his anger. When he lost himself in the midst of one of those episodes he could be a very dangerous man to be around. He was learning how to deal with those inner demons that still plagued him.

It had not been easy at times to curb his inclination to strike first when someone thwarted him. His old habit to rid himself of perceived threats had to be held in check by his strong will alone. All of his life he had been cast out into those dark places in the world where kindness, love and caring were only hindering emotions.

He had almost escaped that dark world with Christine. Raoul, that boy of perfection had come along toppling Erik's world, his only sanctuary. Partially, or rather mainly it had been Erik's own actions which had led to the all that had happened in Paris. These days he tried to be honest with himself. He had to face his sins head on so that he never committed them again.

Those two men he had killed for Christine's benefit, Joseph Buquet and Piangi, he now felt real sorrow for having ended their lives. Joseph Buquet had not been a good man. He had spied on the women and had been known to corner innocent girls in dark places for nefarious reasons. Piangi had simply been in Erik's way.

Erik now knew it was not up to him to judge who should be removed from this world. It was not his place to judge a man's misdeeds. He could have an opinion on the matter but to take action without just cause was not the way to handle grievances. Life had not taught Erik that lesson while he was younger growing up in the opera house. It had only gradually over the preceding year come to him that he had done terrible acts in the name of love. Love should not be aligned with any such deeds. Love should be pure and untainted by the evil sins of man.

Since his failed attempt with Christine Erik could not even be sure that he would be able to love another woman even if God were kind and granted him a loving wife. Not having any idea how to woo a woman Erik wondered if he could lower himself further to seek council with Michael. Knowing his failures as a man himself was bad enough but to regale another man with his deficiencies, one such as the all too handsome Michael, Erik hesitated to consider that option seriously.

Michael may be his friend, his first and only true friend but Erik felt his inadequacies deeply enough without pointing them out himself for others to peruse. Living among humanity had not given Erik insight into how to live the day to day life of a man among others. Every day he considered a part of the learning process. At times he felt like a child just learning how to communicate and behave in a manner that everyone expected. No one was born knowing all there was to know about life and living it, that knowledge came with time. Erik was a little older than was customary for such a learning experience but it was a necessary part of his new life.

Glancing at the clock Erik panicked as he had left himself little time to make it to the church. He dare not let Pricilla down again. She'd not likely forgive a second trespass. Erik could not decide if he had done this unconsciously hoping to take the choice out of his hands to marry or not, or if he had merely been too distracted trying to look his best on this momentous occasion to watch the time.

At least Erik had the forethought to hook up the wagon ahead of time. The buggy would not have been large enough to carry any luggage he was sure Pricilla might be bringing. He had not thought to ask how much she had brought with her. Surely she could not have much to be taken to her new residence.

As he got closer to town the urge to turn tale and run crept into his mind. Why put himself through this agony? Would it not be best to end this farce now before the added humiliation of his failure as a man came to light? For all Erik's hopes and dreams of lying with a woman the reality scared him beyond what he thought possible. How could such a fragile being as a woman cause such upset within him? Perhaps he had had a lucky escape with Christine. Would it have not been a hundred times worse for her to learn of his inadequacies? To have Christine know the touch of another man, Raoul, then to have her compare them would be a killing blow. Erik knew that Christine had been with Raoul in the biblical sense those weeks when she had left the opera house to get away from him. She had come back engaged but still many would consider her a fallen woman. Erik had been willing to overlook her sins. She had been in love and her young hero had saved her from the grotesque man of darkness who haunted her.

Erik had escaped the humiliation of Christine discovering just how chaste he had been. Her knowing would have killed Erik yet here again he put himself in the position of lover dreading the time when he must consummate the union. How long could he delay such intimacies before Pricilla began to question his manhood?

All this worry and speculation did no good whatsoever. Erik had made promises now he must live up to them. For once he would face adversity head on without reverting to his usual means of simply destroying whatever blocked his path. He must find a way to deal with being a husband and all it entailed. Nothing in life worthwhile came easily. For Erik the end results would be even greater as his path had been set with more roadblocks than most had to conquer.

When Erik turned onto the street where the hotel was located he was happy to see that a line of other various wagons and buggies still occupied the front of the hotel. At least he would be waiting at the church when Pricilla came to meet him. They would walk down the aisle together. Erik thought that rather symbolic. They would meet, link arms, then walk toward the man who would join them as man and wife. This would be the first step to forging two lives into one.

Erik took his place in line feeling uncustomary butterflies in his stomach. He could definitely say he did not care for the feeling at all. Michael gave him a hearty slap on the back while shaking his hand.

The loud clamoring of the crowd slowly quieted as the wedding march began to play slightly out of tune in Erik's estimation. He'd need to offer to tune the church's piano. This was only one of the incongruous random thoughts chasing about inside Erik's head to keep him from panicking as he moved closer and closer to his future bride. As of yet he had not caught sight of her. What if she were the one to have changed her mind? What if his turn came in line only to discover his intended had absconded leaving him to his humiliation?

When Erik's turn in line came he saw a vision before him. Had someone else taken Pricilla's place? This woman before him could not be considered anything other than beautiful. She seemed to have an iridescent light all about her. The white of her gown spoke of purity. Erik could see the reflection of a pure heart and soul within Pricilla's eyes when she cast him a quick shy glance. Her smile although brief had warmed Erik's heart.

Perhaps things would not be as bad as he had thought. In Pricilla's presence he seemed to gain a small amount of courage and reassurance. Erik exchanged the sacred vows with Pricilla hardly taking in anything being said. He could not keep from looking at the woman who would now and forever be a part of his life. She would be his responsibility to keep healthy and happy. If they could learn together how things worked maybe neither of them need feel inadequate.

As Reverend Mitchell announced everyone man and wife he bade the men to kiss their new brides. Pricilla had turned her face up to his expectantly. Erik had dropped his head down slowly. He had only ever been kissed twice in his life. Those kisses had been by Christine. His poor performance during those exchanges did not give Erik any confidence that this exchange would be any different. What did he know of kissing? Nothing. What if he disgusted her and she embarrassed him here in front of everyone?

The face still turned up to his held nothing that should give Erik any uneasy feelings. Inhaling one last long breath Erik let his mouth cover Pricilla's. The moment he felt her soft mouth under his was a revelation. Sparks seemed to be igniting within Erik. He felt the tingles beginning at the point where their lips touched then continuing the path to all his nerve endings. Her blue eyes had lured Erik in giving him a sensation of drowning in their depths.

When he felt Pricilla place her hands on his chest Erik thought he might shoot off like a firecracker. Erik drew back to see Pricilla had her eyes still closed with a strange look on her face. Her cheeks were flushed. Her breathing seemed to have escalated to an alarming rate. When she opened her eyes Erik was caught off guard by what he thought he saw reflecting from the darkened blue of her eyes. They seemed to have darkened considerably. A glaze had come over them. Erik would not let himself believe one kiss from him had done this to her.

He could live in hope that she did not see the burning desire for her within his own eyes. Erik considered that both of them suffered some malady, one which caused a feverish look in them both.

Cheers and congratulations from everyone drew Erik from his contemplation of Pricilla and himself. Cake and beverages had been set out for everyone to enjoy. Michael and Charlotte had eyes only for one another so Pricilla and Erik did not have them to use as a buffer. Knowing he should say something and finding the words to speak were not conducive to him actually speaking.

Nothing came to mind as Erik nibbled the cake. He had drunk a gallon of tea trying to moisten his dry throat. He felt if he did eventually think of something to say the words would not get passed the dryness that had taken over his vocal cords and mouth.

Pricilla waited for Erik to say something, anything. When he remained silent she felt as his wife it might be her duty to initiate conversation thereby easing him into it. He did seem rather nervous. Pricilla could not imagine what a man of his caliber would have to be nervous about. If anyone had a right to be nervous it was her. Men did not see things the same way women did. Women needed some sort of connection before she could lay with a man, unless she was of a loose virtue.

Pricilla had dreaded the moment when she must give her one last gift she possessed to some man who essentially remained a stranger to her. Even Charlotte had been somewhat nervous of what would take place this night. As Michael had shown he had an interest in her and been willing to speak openly with her, Charlotte had been encouraged how her night might go.

Erik had shown no special interest in her other than that kiss after the ceremony. She thought she had seen the light of desire in his eyes. Not knowing exactly what a man in the throws of passion would look like Pricilla had concluded that hot look Erik had given her had been one of desire. Wishful thinking had more than likely had her misinterpreting everything. It could have been a look of angry disappointment to have someone such as herself forced upon him.

Well not exactly forced upon him but near enough as she and Loretta had been the only two remaining candidates available. Not much to choose from considering Erik's own desirability among women. Pricilla could see a bevy of beautiful women lining up for a moment of his time.

Pricilla bit her lip wondering how Erik had remained single all this time. Even with women being in short supply there had to be someone somewhere who had claimed his heart at one time. A broken heart would explain why he had buried himself so far from society. A lot of men had come back from the war not feeling a part of their home life any longer. Those who could not reconcile themselves with what remained of their life had packed up and left for parts unknown leaving bewildered wives and children behind to deal with the aftermath. Had Erik been a man in a similar situation? Had he received his wounds during some conflict in France or some other war torn place?

Pricilla wondered if this faceless woman she imagined he loved had rejected him due to his disfigurement. How cruel if she had. Pricilla did not know how Erik's covered portion of his face looked but the remainder that one could see held noble qualities any man would envy. He had strong handsome features.

When he had removed his hat that first day Pricilla could see that his hair had been thin on the right side. Not horribly but men were self-conscious about such things. The light brown color and texture had seemed healthy enough. Perhaps the thinness of it had been why he had let it grow rather longer than most men did.

Pricilla had not been in the habit of ogling men but could attest to the fact that Erik had been well muscled. His shoulders had felt strong underneath her hands when he had held her aloft. She could not forget how he had easily lifted her then held her with her feet off the ground for quite some time. Only a man of strength could do that.

When music began to play couples took to the floor to waltz around enjoying this transition from just married newlyweds to two people alone doing what came naturally. Erik had not danced with anyone in his entire life. He new the steps but did not know if he could execute them without trampling on Pricilla's foot. Michael gave Erik the nod to encourage him to take Pricilla to the floor. Turning to his new bride Erik hesitantly asked her to dance.

Timidly she held her hand out. Erik saw her hand trembling. He hoped it was a sign of nervousness and not fear of him. He took her hand firmly in his own. The other he placed at her waist keeping a suitable distance between them. Erik's body kept urging him to crush her against him. His saner side told him that would not endear him to her.

Pricilla felt the warmth of Erik's strong hands clasping her own and encircling her waist. Without really knowing why Pricilla pulled her hand from Erik's. The hand she had just freed from Erik settled upon his chest. Without instruction from her conscious brain the hand on his chest slid slowly up to come to rest on Erik's shoulder.

Pricilla could not say what possessed her she only knew that something had begun to happen the moment Erik took her into his arms. Something stronger than her innate shyness drove her to explore the broad expanse of his chest and shoulder. Fearing being that bold Pricilla satisfied the uncontrollable urge to touch Erik by gliding her hands across the expanse of his shoulder to wrap around his neck. Some inner force wound through Pricilla letting her do as she wished. Threading her fingers in his hair Pricilla marveled that a man could have such soft luscious strands of hair.

The tickle of the hair sifting through her fingers added fuel to some fire that had been building slowly within her from the moment Erik had touched her. The warmth she had felt the last time he had lifted her down from the buggy to rest on his chest came again only this time the intensity had increased to the level that Pricilla felt something must happen or she would be burned to cinders.

Seeing the same fire within Erik's wonderfully vibrant green eyes, Pricilla faltered for a moment. The need for something more overrode her reticence. Boldly Pricilla leaned against Erik. Later she might hang her head in shame for her actions but at the moment this felt right and so wonderful Pricilla for once would live in the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself.

Erik felt bewildered by Pricilla's actions. The shy maiden from earlier in the day seemed to have vanished. He could not help but wonder if she had partaken of the spiked punch. That would explain her bold behavior. Alcohol did tend to lower one's inhibitions. If he did not stop her soon this may turn into a very embarrassing interlude for the both of them.

Feeling her hands pressing him down Erik only resisted a moment before he began to lower his head toward Pricilla's waiting lips. When his lips hovered a bare hairsbreadth from hers, just at the moment Erik would have pressed his lips to hers, the music stopped and loud clapping interrupted the intimate moment.

Pricilla blinked several times bringing herself back to reality. She could not stem the tide of crimson rushing up to cover her shoulders, neck and face. Placing her hands on either side of her cheeks she could think of nothing to say to excuse her behavior. She only hoped Erik did not think her some wanton floozy.

Erik looked anywhere but at Pricilla. What the devil had gotten into him? Had he not decided to take things slowly? She had seemed willing enough. She had even encouraged him. He wished she would look at him. Had he imagined all the caresses? Perhaps in his eagerness to find some common thread, something that bound them, he had let himself believe she wanted to move things forward. His body felt all to ready to comply but some more cautious part of him told him that they needed time before taking that final step. His experience with Christine had taught him that knowing someone took time. He had spent hours of every day with Christine for many years but they had never conversed or spent time learning the important things about one another. Music alone had not been enough to build anything real or lasting.

For the first time Erik admitted to himself he honestly wanted things to work with Pricilla. Erik took Pricilla's hands in his own wishing to convey all he wanted to say but could not say out loud. Women he knew needed the words not only noble gestures.

Before he could say a word Reverend Mitchell drew everyone's attention to announce that as of this moment everyone would be on their own. The church was pulling up the stakes of the tent and sending everyone to begin their new lives.

Suddenly a mad rush ensued. Couples who had been happily dancing now seemed unwilling to spend a second longer in the company of others. Erik took Pricilla's elbow within his hand to guide her through the milling throng.

Pricilla caught a glimpse of Charlotte whispering into Michael's ear then he did the same. Some agreement must have been reached as they linked hands then hastily began to run toward the buckboard Michael had borrowed to carry Charlotte's belongings to his home.

Erik tried not to tug too hard on Pricilla's hand in his haste to remove himself from this madness. The milling crowd reminded him too much of the mob that had invaded his underground home in Paris.

Having made it clear of everyone Erik led Pricilla to his wagon. He lifted her with little effort onto the seat. Rather than scoot over as far as she could as he had expected, Pricilla remained on the seat only allowing enough room for him to sit beside her. Lifting the reins Erik shook them clicking his tongue to get them moving. One more hurdle had been passed. The next few would be the hardest of Erik's life.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to Timeflies I was able to rewrite my description of Pricilla's eyes so it fits with later chapters. Thanks Timeflies for the assist. **

**Chapter Six**

**Wedding Night Not To Remember**

If Erik had thought Pricilla would only have a few pieces of luggage he received quite a shock when the hotel staff began bringing her larger trunks from the back storage area. They told him the larger pieces of furniture could stay until they made arrangements to pick them up. Erik paid Mr. Gardener handsomely for allowing Pricilla's things to remain.

Pricilla had brought as much of her old life with her as she could. Her favorite pieces from her room would aid in the transition from single spinster to married woman easier if she had familiar things around her.

She had also stocked up on feminine items not knowing whether or not her new home would even have a place for shopping for such items. One could order things from a catalogue but then one had to wait weeks for the order to arrive. Some things a woman needed monthly and at a time that might not be conducive to a delivery.

Pricilla had never met her grandparents but wanted to keep Grandmother Cecilia's china within the family. Before she had thought to give them to Charlotte as Pricilla had not believed she would ever marry or have children. Now she had accomplished one and with time could accomplish the other.

Erik wanted to protest that his home had enough furnishings and of good quality. Hearing Michael's voice in the back of his head telling him that to let a woman have some things of her own around made a strange place feel like home. Erik held his objections as the wagon had been piled with trunks of all sizes.

Fuming at this delay Erik tossed over his shoulder that he would go and hire some men to come help unload everything. Damned if he would break his back trying to make a woman happy. Frustration made Erik a little testy and intolerant. He could not help but think perhaps a lot of his anger during the years of his occupation of the opera house had been from sexual frustration. He felt at this moment if someone said one word he found even remotely offensive he'd deal with that person as he had in the past. Erik needed to rid himself of some pent-up energy. When he arrived home he might just lock himself away for a few hours to take out his restlessness composing some thoroughly erotic composition. It would not be the first time he had used music as a means of release.

Briefly that secret place came to mind. He would not weaken and stoop to visiting that place. Even as he forbid himself from doing so he could not prevent the rush of anticipation that came to think of being among all her things. No, he could not do that on this his wedding day. What his mind contemplated was tatamount to frolicking with a paid whore. He must not give in to such weaknesses. Any pleasure he gained from that place would be false. It had no real meaning other than a means to sexual gratification.

Angrily Erik had started off stomping on the planks of the walkway. As he sifted through all that had taken place his footsteps softened. His anger had left him to be replaced by a much calmer gentler emotion. Never could Erik remember being so angry without having his anger expressed in some negative way. Christine had been the brunt of his anger many times, even before he had revealed himself to her as a man and not her Angel of Music. Those outbursts had been all too human in nature. Erik had to wonder if Christine had suspected all along he was merely a man.

When the last item had been placed on the wagon Erik once again had his hands at Pricilla's waist. This felt like a habit Erik would not mind developing. Contrary to what he had thought he did not mind touching Pricilla in this manner at all. At least it gave him a chance to touch her now and then. For her part she did not seem to mind his hands touching her. Erik had not yet seen any look upon Pricilla's face expressing any displeasure with him other than his boorish behavior which she had a right to resent. His face did not seem to give her any disquiet when she had to look him in the eye, which Erik noted she had been doing more frequently since their dance. Pricilla had even thrown him a few of her sweet smiles. Perhaps Erik would not have need of that room any longer.

Erik had rounded up some of the same workers he used whenever he built something or needed fences repaired. They eagerly mounted up then rode behind the wagon headed out to Erik's. Erik paid well for services performed with equal satisfaction.

The ride out to Erik's could have been uncomfortable but Erik had loosened up a bit as he began to tell Pricilla about his ranch. Although not large by some standards he had been establishing his reputation for quality horses and cattle. Midnight Dream would be the foundation for the new champions he planned to breed. There was only one other stable that gave Erik any competition. Edward Patterson had some very good breeding stock. Things had been rather rocky as of late between the man and his very attractive wife. Erik had suffered many useless erections simply observing the woman. He had never been introduced to the couple which Erik considered to be just as well since he had little control over his reactions to women who attracted him.

Erik had been looking for another good stud over the last few months. He had heard of one coming up for sale at the next auction in Lexington. If he could purchase this stallion and find another two or three solid mares he would be well on his way to building one of the finest stables in Kentucky. He had been making a name for himself locally but he wanted to be known nationally, someday perhaps internationally.

It would be a few years before Erik obtained the notoriety all across the country. At the moment his fame as a breeder only extended to a few surrounding states. Horse breeding unlike the world of music or architecture, did not need a one on one confrontation to do business which suited Erik perfectly.

When they arrived home it had occurred to Erik that he had not readied a room for Pricilla. He had already decided he could not share a bed with a woman and not partake of her charms. He had meant to have the room down the hall from the master suite ready for her use. Things had just slipped his mind. Erik would not even consider this to be a Freudian slip. He was not so desperate for a woman he had to give her little option other than to sleep with him.

Not wanting to let it be known Erik would not be enjoying his wife's company in his bedroom, Erik told them that they would be storing her things in that room until she had time to decide where to place everything as she wanted them. No one questioned his explanation. Now if he could be certain Pricilla did not let it out about the true nature of their married life things would work out fine.

After the others had left Erik asked Pricilla if she cared for anything to eat. Not being really hungry but not knowing what might happen if she said no Pricilla accepted his offer of warmed over biscuits and jam. He even brought out a pot of tea.

Once he had her settled Erik excused himself so that he could make up the bed in Pricilla's room. He would at least do that much for her. He had not told her as of yet that they would not be sharing a bed. How he should approach the matter Erik could not think how he could make it seem less like a rejection and more of a plan to let them adjust to one another.

Before Erik had finished with her bed Pricilla had come looking for him. She had finished her tea then decided to join him. Having searched all of the rooms on the upper floor including his spacious bedchamber, Pricilla had ventured on down the hall. When she came to an open door she placed her hand on the door giving it a gentle shove so that the door swung open all the way.

Erik had been bent over tucking in the sheet he had just placed on the bed. Hearing the door creaking Erik stood up then spun around to see Pricilla standing in the doorway with a confused look on her face. He couldn't blame her. What newly married man planned to let his bride sleep in another room?

"I suppose you are wondering why I am making up another bed. I thought we might…that is it might be more amenable for now not to share…I think it would be better to have separate rooms until we get to know one another better." At last Erik got out what he had intended to say. He had made it sound a little like a rejection even if only a temporary one.

"I hope you understand." Erik could read nothing from her stance that might give him a clue how she felt about this plan of his. If he had been able to see her eyes he would have been able to read practically every thought she had. Pricilla had very expressive eyes. She only hid things when she ducked her head as she was doing at the moment.

"I understand completely. No need to go into any more details. This…this suits me as well. You can't imagine how relieved I am. I really should thank you for being so understanding." In reality Pricilla thought she understood all too well. All those moments of passion had been her overactive imagination. She had seen what she wanted to see. The truth of the matter was he did not fancy her at all. This fabrication about getting to know one another better did not fool her for one second. Would not any man jump at the chance to bed a willing woman? That gave Pricilla pause for thought. Was she willing? Well Erik had negated the need for making that decision.

She wouldn't let him know by word or deed how hurt she felt. She imagined she would be the only bride sleeping in a cold and lonely bed. How humiliating it would be if anyone got wind of this. She'd be the laughing stock of the town. The chant from the train's wheels reverberated inside her head once more. 'Poor Pricilla. Poor Pricilla. Poor Pricilla.'

Stating calmly that she could finish on her own she all but dismissed Erik in his own home. Technically her home now. Once Erik had left her Pricilla sank down wondering if things could get any worse. This night tossed out another of her darned fantasies. Instead of enjoying a night of conjugal bliss she would be all alone in an unfamiliar bed having tied herself to a man who did not love her or even find her the least bit attractive.

Pricilla went to bed wondering if there might be anything she could do to win him over. Men had to need more from a woman than just carnal couplings. If she made him spectacular meals, kept the house spotless, if she did all those little things women did that made things easier for their men would he not come to care just a little?

Going over in her mind all the accomplishments she had the first one she thought she could implement would be to cook for him. She had become quite proficient over the last few years as her parents were somewhat hard to please. Improving her culinary skills had become a necessity so as not to have the food thrown across the room by one or both of her recalcitrant parents. The older they got the more persnickety they became.

Wanting to be sure she arose before Erik did Pricilla got out of bed to rummage through her smaller trunks until she found her alarm clock. She had heard that farmers got up with the sun. Did ranchers do the same? To be safe Pricilla set the alarm for five o'clock. That should give her plenty of time.

When the alarm shrilled its wakeup call Pricilla reluctantly shut it off to make her way blearily to the bathroom. She splashed her face not even looking into the mirror so as not to begin her day with the picture of her dishevelment in her mind as she started this first day of her marriage.

She staggered to her largest trunk to find something suitable to wear. With Charlotte's voice sounding in the background of her mind Pricilla opted to try one of her new more colorful day dresses. She chose the blue one that Charlotte said matched her eyes. Whether that could be counted as a positive or negative thing Pricilla couldn't give an honest opinion as she always saw herself in a negative way which irritated Charlotte no end. Pricilla promised herself she would give it her best try not to think in the negative all the time. This resolution would come back to haunt her just an hour or so later.

Erik had not shown Pricilla around his home last night. She had to open several doors before she found the kitchen. In consternation she looked at the stove and the pile of wood sitting in pile beside the stove. She had not even thought about there not being gas to fuel the stove. Pricilla had never used a wood stove in her life. A stove was a stove. It wouldn't be much different than the gas or any harder to use. Would it?

A few curses later Pricilla at last got a small fire going. As she kneaded the dough for biscuits she added wood to the fire until a good blaze started to heat up the kitchen. Having cut the biscuits and placed them on a greased pan Pricilla placed them in the oven over the bottom part of the stove.

While she waited for the biscuits Pricilla set the coffee on the stove to percolate. Getting out a pan she searched for bacon and eggs. She found them in the larder beside the stove. Erik had cleverly used brick to line the room to keep things cool. While looking she also found butter and the strawberry jam Erik had served her last night.

Taking everything into the kitchen Pricilla deposited her load on the worktable in the middle of the room. She bit her lip trying to decide whether she should scramble the eggs or be a little ambitious and make him an omelet. Deciding to play it safe on this unfamiliar cooking stove she'd make bacon and scrambled eggs.

She had begun to crack the eggs when she smelled the acrid odor of smoke. The only thing burning that she knew of was the stove. Whirling around Pricilla saw black smoke roiling from around the edge of the oven.

"Oh no! Please don't be burning. Not today, my first day as his oh so efficient wife." Pricilla had not meant to say those words aloud but in her agitation could not keep them silent. Opening the door to the oven only confirmed what she had known already. She had built the fire too hot which naturally burned the biscuits. Pushing quickly on one of the charcoal cylinders a gooey ooze came out of the burned biscuit. The outside had charred while the inside had remained raw.

A rooster crowing alerted Pricilla to the passage of time. She only had a short time before Erik would be coming down looking for something to eat. She hadn't even put the kettle on for tea if he did not want the coffee. Coffee! Too late Pricilla grabbed a pot holder so she could lift the coffee pot from the stovetop. It had boiled nearly dry. Darn and blast!

Rushing with the now dry pot to the faucet Pricilla's arm clipped the wooden spoon unsettling the bowl of eggs. The first Pricilla knew it had fallen was when she heard the shattering of glass just before she felt the messy splattering of eggs all over the back part of her dress.

Twisting around she lost her footing causing her to wave her arms about which did nothing good for the small amount of scorched coffee still in the pot which came flying out just as Erik stepped into the kitchen. The hot liquid shot across his chest bringing forth such language as Pricilla had never heard or spoken.

Having let fly with all manner of curses in several different languages Erik at last calmed enough to ask, "Damn it woman are you trying to scald the hide from me? What prompted this disaster in my kitchen?" These two sentences were the least offensive out of all that Erik shouted at her. At any other time Pricilla might have reminded him that now it would be her kitchen also. She held back on that reminder as at the moment she seemed less than capable of spreading butter on plain bread, never mind toast.

Aghast at the mess she had caused as well as mortified to have single-handedly nearly destroyed Erik's kitchen, Pricilla dropped the coffee pot to go to the sink where she wet a cloth with cold water. Going to Erik she didn't stop to think, she tore his shirt away from him unceremoniously.

Erik may not have lost his temper so badly a second time if she had left him with the dignity of his clothing. She stood in shock looking at all the scarring crisscrossing Erik's chest. Mortified she glanced up asking in a whisper, "Did I do that?" If she hadn't been so upset already she would have realized most of those wounds were from long ago and had been made by the lash of a whip. Only the small area that had reddened where the hot liquid had touched could be attributed to her carelessness.

"Of course you didn't do all of them you stupid woman." Erik angrily snatched the wet cloth from her hand. If she had not bared part of his hidden shame Erik would perhaps not have let himself snap an unjustified remark against her intelligence.

Pricilla could feel the unwanted prick of tears behind her eyes. She would not cry in front of him. She would not. Even as she made this silent declaration tears fell down her cheeks. Erik had only glanced up to deliver another hurtful castigation when he took notice of her tears. She bit the corner of her lip as he had learned she did when she felt distressed over something.

Recalling his harshness Erik hung his head in shame. He had a right to be angry, at least a little, but she had not set out to give him pain. It had been her intention to fix his breakfast which he could say only in hotels had anyone bothered to take note of whether he had food or not. Antoinette did what she could but for the most part it had been left to Erik to fend for himself.

"I…I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. Go change and we will have breakfast in town. Perhaps we can stop by and visit Michael and your cousin. Would that not be pleasant?"

Pricilla doubted she could push a syllable past the hurt that clogged her throat so she only nodded her assent.

As a first morning as a wife Pricilla would have to say it equaled the horrid wedding night. Perhaps it could even be counted as far worse. What other disappointments would she have to face?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Just a little warning that like all truly good romances there must be a little angst, heartbreak and suffering before the lovers find their way to one another. Things will get a lot worse before they get better. They will suffer angst, lust, love, anger, hate and redemption. **

**Chapter Seven**

**Better Not to Know**

Pricilla opted to wear one of her old brown dresses. Wearing attractive clothing had certainly not added anything to her position. As far as she knew Erik had taken no notice of how she looked during the ceremony or this morning before mayhem had taken over in the kitchen. She could excuse this morning's neglect to compliment her but on her wedding day a woman wants and needs to hear she at least doesn't look like the old sea hag on the rocks luring sailors to their death in revenge for not loving her.

Well as Pricilla reminded herself she had not been exactly forthcoming when it came to compliments. Erik had looked very dapper. More, he had looked dashingly handsome. She could admit it now, he had taken her breath away from the moment they had met and it had only gotten worse as time passed. Lord knows what sort of mess her vulnerable heart would be in with the passage of time.

Every once in a while Pricilla would cast Erik a quick look to ascertain if his angry mood had gentled into only a slight disgruntled mood. He did not speak and kept his face forward. His lips did not look to be held in a tight line. In fact they look quite…well quite delectable. Pricilla recalled how they had felt pressed to hers. Neither of them had added much more to the kiss beyond a melding of mouths. It had been enough to set off sparks inside Pricilla.

She probably had ruined any chance of him becoming less austere with her. Why should he put himself out to be pleasant when she had done nothing to earn any sort of consideration from him? First he gets stuck with her as an unwanted bride, then she nearly set fire to his home and last but not least she had nearly scalded the hide off of him.

No, she had not shown herself in a good light at all. Nervously she cast a look at Erik wondering if this trip to town had only been a ruse to get her out of his home quietly and without further damage. If that happened Pricilla could see herself hiding out in the hotel until the next train left for home.

Pricilla cursed herself for ever letting Charlotte talk her into this. To be fair and honest Pricilla admitted that it really hadn't taken all that much convincing that this would be the only option for her. Of course Charlotte had not stated it so bluntly but the had both knew the reality of the situation. The future had looked bleak and lonely. Now it appeared that Pricilla would face that lonely future once more. Perhaps she and Loretta could travel back to Boston together. They could even find rooms somewhere to share.

When Erik pulled back on the buggy's reins Pricilla looked around to see they had made the journey all the way to town without her taking any notice of her surroundings. Erik had stopped in front of a small café next to the hotel. The hotel had a wonderful dining room but the café catered to the less affluent while also serving the finest fare in town. Since Pricilla had not been made privy to this information she thought that Erik did not want anyone to see them together. Maybe he was so ashamed to be seen with her so he chose the smaller place to eat.

Breakfast had been a silent affair. Erik had wanted to say something but could not think of anything to say that sounded appropriate. What did one say to someone they did not really know? If he asked her questions that might set the conversation going in the right direction. Before Erik had worked out anything to ask the meal had been completed.

The ride to Michael's did not take long as his home stood just on the outskirts of town. He only had five acres but had made the best use of the property to optimize the space. He had a small stable where he kept two riding horses as well as two that pulled the wagon when needed.

He had planted every variety of flower one could think of. Anything that would grow in the region had been set in the ground. Charlotte had come running down the stairs where she had been on the front porch watering several potted plants while Michael cunningly took a spot that afforded him a pleasant view of his bride as she moved about on the sunny porch.

Michael felt a little surprised to see Erik. He hoped this did not mean he and Pricilla were already on the outs. Charlotte had told him that Pricilla had a very soft heart and took criticisms to heart. She had such a low opinion of her worth she believed what others said about her. She always gave in to others trying to win their approval. There was not anyone in the world Charlotte would trust with keeping her secrets or wish to have by her side when times were hard. Charlotte smiled at Michael as she clarified that now of course she had him to share and keep secrets with.

Michael greeted Erik and Pricilla wondering what had brought them to town. Surely they had plenty to do unpacking the numerous trunks his new bride had brought with her. Charlotte hugged and kissed Pricilla excited to see her so soon. There was much to tell and Charlotte felt ready to burst holding back what she wanted to impart to Pricilla.

When they had entered the house Charlotte asked Michael with a beaming smile, "Shall I make tea? I think there is still some of the apple pie left from this morning. Unlike Pricilla, Charlotte had been using a wood stove ever since her parents could not afford the added cost of gas in the house. She had learned the necessity of regulating how much fuel to use when baking or even just using the top burners.

Michael had told her last night that Erik had plans for building a storage facility for the gas so every home within the towns immediate area could benefit from the use of an efficient way to cook, light the wall lamps and eventually heat the homes. Erik seemed to be a highly intelligent man. One had to wonder why he hid his genius so far from the larger cities where his talents could earn him far more than they did her in Tyler's Crossing.

As soon as the two women had left Erik began to regal Michael with the events since they had left town yesterday. He wanted to ask Michael if it would be too soon to have the marriage annulled. No consummation had taken place so that did not add any complication. Erik could not say he felt happy to disclose that bit of humiliating information for everyone to use as fodder for gossip over the next few months. If he could think of some other believable reason he would save himself much discomfort.

In the kitchen the two women talked around what they both wanted to discuss. At last Charlotte could not withstand the need to shout out her happiness if only to her cousin.

"Oh Pricilla, Michael is the most wonderful man in the world." She laughed as she continued, "But I suppose you would say the same about Erik. I think…no, I know we will be happy."

Even in her own time of distress Pricilla found it within her to be happy for her cousin. Charlotte could not be held to blame that God had bestowed pleasant features that was only out shown by her inner goodness.

Dying to know Pricilla leaned toward Charlotte to whisper, "What was it like? Do the books do it justice or do they exaggerate?"

"It?" Charlotte questioned in bewilderment then blushed to the roots of her hair when she figured out what Pricilla referred to in such conspiratorial tones. She fidgeted a moment the grasped Pricilla's hand to drag her to the kitchen table where without really giving great detail she conveyed enough to have Pricilla agape at the telling.

Erik finally got the courage to speak his mind. "Michael this isn't going to work." Seeing Michael lifting a questioning brow Erik clarified. "This…this farce of a marriage. It was a colossal mistake. I don't know what I expected as I only went through the ceremony to keep her from being held up to ridicule. She is pleasant enough but she will never set the world on fire. Michael she is all but useless in the home. She nearly burned the house down this morning.

"Erik it has only been one day, not even that. Give it some time. Charlotte has faith in her. Why not give her a chance to prove herself to you? What harm can it do? You may even find yourself coming to care for her." Michael hoped he could convince Erik to hang in there a while longer. It would be a blow Pricilla might not recover from if half the things Charlotte had told him were true. Pricilla had not had an easy time of it. Overbearing and selfish parents had been the least of Pricilla's trials.

"You have a wife who could rival Helen of Troy while I have been stuck with…well not anyone near such beauty. I had not had expectations of anyone such as your Charlotte but I had hoped for someone I might find the least bit attractive. A lifetime is a very long time to be with someone who does not raise your ardor in the least." Erik could not admit he had found her attractive but his own insecurities concerning his manhood had let him fabricate a few untruths to aid in his cause to unbind himself from this woman before he did something that could not be taken back. Now, Michael's words were giving Erik more to consider. Perhaps with time things might work themselves out as he had first considered upon making his decision to marry a somewhat homely woman. Erik mentally corrected himself. Pricilla had some hidden innate charm that only on closer inspection could be seen.

"I suppose I have only myself to blame. I should not have let myself feel sorry for her. I am no great prize myself but for once I wanted something, someone who rose above what I felt I deserved. I have had to settle for the lesser value in everything during my youth. I had hoped to have gone past that as a man.

I think perhaps you are right though Michael. We need time to adjust. She may grow on me. Propinquity will surely allow me to find something redeeming in her. I already find her of a sweet nature even if she is not quite as well learned as I had at first thought her to be. What woman does not know how to cook? She nearly burned the hide from me during her try at burning down my house.

Erik sighed heavily. Pricilla was not at all as bad as he made her out to be. If things between them did not work out Erik wanted it to be established that her lack of looks and talents about the home were the worms eating away at their relationship and not any lack of confidence in his ability to perform his manly duties.

Michael clapped him companionably on the back in sympathy. Pricilla was very sweet but men wanted fire between the sheets, not sweet capitulation. Charlotte had been innocent much to Michael's surprise and delight. When the lights had been turned down she had become the sultry temptress he had hoped for but not expected to find.

Charlotte and Pricilla had returned to the parlor where Michael and Erik had gone when they separated from the women. They had been smiling happily after discussing all that Pricilla could look forward to once she and Erik finally came to some sort of understanding. Charlotte had assured Pricilla that no man could hold out from partaking of what they considered their husbandly rights.

When they had reached the doorway Pricilla stood stock still as Charlotte knocked into her with the tea tray. At first she did not know what had her cousin locked into place with a look of horror on her face. Removing her eyes from Pricilla Charlotte turned her attention into the room where the men were conversing or rather Erik spoke for the most part with a few additions from Michael.

After hearing the first little bit Charlotte had set the tray down on the hall table then tried to pull Pricilla back down the hall so she would not be hurt any further by that big oaf Mr. Erik Dante. Pricilla shrugged off Charlotte's hand wanting to know precisely how Erik felt. She heard far more than she had bargained for.

Every word had a blade attached that cut a piece of Pricilla's hopes and dreams out of her heart. Every syllable ingrained itself in her brain. Those thoughtless words spoken by a man who should hold her in the highest esteem opened wounds that might not ever heal. Pricilla felt as if open wounds would slowly drain the very life from her. If God could strike her deaf and blind at this very moment she would give thanks for his mercy. Unfortunately Pricilla snd Charlotte had been privy to every hurtful word.

She had known how much she lacked but had thought he could at least think of her as someone who would help fill the lonely hours of the night. With the lights off would she not feel like any other woman? Was she so impossibly ugly that even darkness could not veil the unpleasantness? As for intelligence Erik had not been interested enough to discover if she knew the difference between a pea and a turnip.

Either Charlotte or Pricilla must have made some sound for the men turned toward the doorway where Pricilla and Charlotte stood. Erik began to apologize, "I…I am so sorry. I did not know…"

Pricilla raised a hand to quiet his words that would do neither of them proud. He could not form a lie that would change what Pricilla had heard. Really it was not anything she had not suspected or thought herself. How did one need it pointed out that you were less than nothing in the scheme of things? Pricilla would save selfcastigation for later. Now she had gather all her strength to make it through the next hour or so.

Brushing her hands down the skirt of her dress, Pricilla inconsequentially noted the drab color. Was she always destined to live in this drab world? Did she not have the right to something out of life other than being pitied and overlooked because her face did not meet what men found desirable?

When Pricilla heard Erik draw breath as if to speak she quickly responded to stay any more words of either of a degrading nature or pitying sufferage. Raising her hand once more to stay whatever else Erik might say Pricilla spoke in a voice laden with tears she would not let fall. Her voice choked with emotion she said, "Well at least now there will be no expectations that will never be fulfilled. We know where we stand and can move on from here. I for one am quite happy that things have been laid out in black and white.

There can be no mistake made by me lacking in intelligent thought as I am. Pity you must sacrifice having someone more suited to your choice of companion while being stuck with me. I can't do much about my appearance but I have a solution to my lack of skills in the home. Loretta will be coming out to the house as our housekeeper. No need to worry about the expense of it for I shall take the burden of her upkeep on my own. I would hate to burden you with monetary obligations along with having me as your unwanted wife.

I do sincerely apologize for any inconvenience I may had caused you so far and any embarrassment having me at your side may cause you in the future. I will do my best not to place any further strain on your forbearance. I shall become a shadow in your home so as not to offend you further. I pray that will suffice unless that too would be unbearable to you.

Now that everything has been made clear as glass between us shall we sit and drink the tea before all of Charlotte's efforts go to waste?" Having said what she thought needed clarification Pricilla took a chair as far away from Erik as the room would allow. He need not worry she would pounce on him. He had well and truly killed any silly expectations she had of them becoming something more than distant housemates. She had held onto the dream of them coming to at least care a little for one another. Pricilla chided her schoolgirl habit of seeing only the rainbows of life without seeing the storm clouds just beyond the horizon.

Well she had Erik to thank for at last waking her up to reality. Pricilla sat trying not to look as if she had shattered inside. Outwardly she appeared not to be affected in the least by Erik's cruel words. Inside she felt as if some precious part of her had been snuffed out like an unnecessary candle's light.

Only Charlotte would know how devastated Pricilla would be to have no hope for anything but cold cordiality between her and her husband. Out of all the people Charlotte knew Pricilla had been the one who held this fairytale vision of what courtship and marriage should be. Even when they discussed the arranged marriages of the wealthy Pricilla put forth a romantic scenario for the couple. Love would wind its way around their hearts leading them into a blissful life.

Now with a few carelessly spoken phrases Erik had torn the rose colored glasses from Pricilla's eyes. He had left her not one illusion to cling to. Pricilla had been stripped bare and exposed before others instead of things being handled in private. Erik had not even afforded her that grace.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Okay I really need to warn everyone that this chapter heads to a dark place in the middle. It will get worse in the next chapter. This chapter and perhaps the next few are the really angsty ones where you'll want to throttle Erik, skin him and hang him out to dry. You need to remember that Erik is pretty much a selfish bastard, pardon but he is. Christine had been his only object of affection or tenderness. He did not learn how to love. He sees, he wants, he takes. It will get dark and be prepared with the box of kleenex at times. Some of this next part of the story really made me cry. Trust me though once the tear jerking stuff is past things will brighten up.**

**Chapter Eight **

**Enlightenment Be Damned**

The day had been gotten through as best as the concerned parties could have given the circumstances. Pricilla had stood firm on her decision to bring Loretta home with her. Erik had not wanted another female invading his home. Indeed he did not want anyone who would bear witness to his daily failures as a man and husband.

Erik had given in with ill grace and had let Pricilla have her way so as not to have a scene for the townspeople to gossip and speculate about. What difference could one more irritation in his life make? He already felt as if he had lost complete control of the world around him. His old life at the opera house started to look better all the time.

Feeling he should make amends Erik tried his best to be friendly without overstating his position. At this point he did not think Pricilla would want or accept any advances he might make if he could even gather the courage to do so. Loretta proved to be aquiet likeable woman. He blessed her for her silent company. He might not have felt so comfortable if he knew that Loretta remained silent a lot of the time so she could observe others without their knowledge. One could learn much by merely watching from the outer circle.

Erik had told Michael he felt nothing toward Pricilla but in the ensuing days that little spark of attraction began to burn in an irritating fashion. Pricilla may not have the outward beauty of others but she had a special quality that if allowed to take root tended to wrap itself around ones heart without the invaded person being any the wiser until one day they awoke to take notice of every minute detail of Pricilla. Erik had not reached that point as of yet but he did find his opinion of her changing.

Erik found himself looking at her with new eyes. Every day he found something about her to admire. The day after they had returned with Loretta Pricilla had come down wearing what he felt sure were a pair of his trousers and shirt that he had put in the laundry basket. He had not commented only stared dumbfounded by how ridiculous she looked yet he felt a definite tugging in his chest while other parts of him showed just how interested he was in her. Erik felt confused as to why she affected him this way in that outfit. She looked rather like a circus clown without the stage makeup.

Pricilla had gone out with him after breakfast to help with splitting wood. He had thought perhaps she would offer to stack the wood as he split. He could not say that idea pleased him but he would allow it to save on agruments. Contrary to what he expected she had taken possession of the axe and other than wrestling her for possession of it he had to concede to her wishes.

Erik took a seat on a large piece of wood. He folded his arms and crossed his legs ready to be entertained. He had to give her credit she did put forth an honest effort. He winced every time the axe came down to bounce off the top of the section of wood without making so much as nick. Erik ascertained that Pricilla had a stubborn streak in her a mile wide. Her mouth twisted while the tip of her tongue stuck out with each rise of the axe. He felt rather intrigue by that little gesture. Who would have thought something so ridiculous could be alluring?

When she lifted the axe over her head Erik feared it would topple her over at any given moment. After a few nervous minutes and several close calls Erik insisted she take a break. He'd finish the log now that she had prepared it by inflicting that first cut. If one looked close enough they would indeed see a small splinter of wood hanging by a sliver.

Pricilla felt all too ready to concede defeat in this endeavor. She felt gratitude that Erik did not point out another failure to add to her list of many. When Erik had been splitting log after log for some twenty or so minutes he paused to brush his forearm across his sweating brow. The back of his shirt clung to him with wet stickiness.

Erik cast Pricilla a glance wondering if she would be offended or shocked if he removed his shirt. If he warned her of the scarring across his back beforehand she could make the decision to go or stay. She had not asked about the scars she had seen on his chest. Of course in order to do that she would need to speak to him. Since she seemed inclined to remain silent he doubted she would comment on what she knew to be underneath his shirt.

When he had asked her if she would mind if he removed his shirt and explained about the massive area of scarring on his back she had blinked at him a few times then shook her head. Pricilla felt as if she could not breathe. Erik had removed his shirt a little self-consciously. He had never gone bare around anyone. Only a few people had even seen Erik once he occupied the opera house and then only fully clothed in gentleman's attire.

Pricilla had been nearly struck dumb when Erik had asked her permission to remove his shirt. His warning of how ugly his back looked barely registered as immediately visions of Erik without a shirt had danced across Pricilla's mind. She had thought she would hyperventilate when he began to undo one button at a time. She barely resisted the urge to shout for him to hurry just a bit.

She had tried not to stare but with each button being released a new inch of his chest had been exposed to her view. Her fingers twitched with an as yet unknown need to thread themselves through a man's chest hair.

Erik's hair was a light brown but the hair on his chest looked darker. He did not have the covering of a wooly mammoth but he had a nice blanket of hair spread across his chest. Following the line from mid-chest down to where the line disappeared under his trousers dried whatever moisture Pricilla might have had left in her mouth. She swallowed dryly when the muscles in Erik's chest flexed with his movement as he tossed his shirt aside. Ducking her head quickly lest she be caught staring, Pricilla used this time to gather her scattered wits.

Even knowing how he felt about her Pricilla could not help the rush of emotions which invaded her just looking at such manly perfection. The scars while truly terrible did not cause any ill affects to her sensibilities other than how it hurt her to know Erik had suffered something so agonizing.

Erik almost put his shirt back on when he caught sight of Pricilla's head tucked deeply into her chest. Well he had warned her. Erik could not blame her really. Even he could not stomach looking at himself most of the time. He only did so when need necessitated he do so such as when shaving or bathing.

Wanting to get this task done as quickly as possible Erik turned then began to split piece after piece of wood from the dwindling pile. Pricilla thanked Erik silently for turning away from her so that she could shamelessly peruse him without his knowledge. And admire him she did. Every bunching of muscle nearly elicited an audible sigh. Her hands had an urge to swipe over his sweat covered back. Those glistening muscles were something which would lure a woman into losing all her virtues.

Pricilla felt the warming in her lower belly. Her heart beat as if it intended to release itself from the constraints of her body. Was this what all those young men and women felt that had them giving in to sin? How much more irresistible the urge would be to know the object of your desires returned your ardor? Pricilla could better understand the loss of control now. It took everything she had not to throw herself at Erik's feet begging for some small gesture that might ease this fire that continued to build within her.

Over the next few days they continued with their obstinate silence toward one another. Loretta being a person who could read others well picked up on the subtle nuances between the two. Pricilla had explained in plain words just what her marriage to Erik entailed. Loretta had hoped for something more for her friend. She had her expectations set high for Mr. Dante as well. He insisted she call him Erik but at times she forgot that although her position was as a housekeeper she also shared a friendship with the woman of the house. Pricilla would not let her act as a normal woman in her position would. Loretta sat at the table for all their meals. Pricilla had even come to the kitchen every morning to help. She had asked Loretta to show her how to use that fire breathing dragon of a stove.

Pricilla had been an apt pupil. It had only taken a few mornings for her to learn how to gauge temperature as required for whatever she had in the oven. She had even learned the knack of using the warming oven without drying everything dryer than a bone lying in the desert sun.

Pricilla tried to make herself a useful partner in this loveless marriage. Erik had plainly stated he did not need, want, or expect any intimate offerings from her. Pricilla would not let herself be relegated to some useless appendage. To save some small portion of her pride she had to feel useful in some way.

Much to her surprise Pricilla found that she had an affinity with animals. They liked her and she for her part felt they were given less credit for man's progress than they deserved. Animals were an integral part of humanity's progression from the dark ages. Wherever man went their loyal animals would follow. Even those animals that served as food for their tables deserved a little more dignity than most gave them. Pricilla would not hear of any unnecessary cruelties being perpetrated.

Erik may not know how to deal with the more fragile human beings but he could let himself be completely free of any restraints that human's brought out in him when with his horses. He felt safer in his role when dealing with animals. He could show them a tender side that he would not let himself show to another human being as he had been hurt too many times attempting to gain what others took for granted.

The anniversary of the day Christine had parted from him neared with each passing day. Erik became sullen and even more withdrawn. His temper never far from the surface would erupt with little provocation. Pricilla and Loretta gave him a wide birth. Neither could come up with any explanation for this sudden change in his mood.

The day Pricilla ventured into Erik's room to collect any forgotten bits of dirty clothing would reveal yet another piece of the puzzle to Erik's past. Pricilla bored with playing lady of leisure asked if she might help Loretta with some household chore as Erik had gone to the far pasture to exercise Midnight Dream. Loretta had innocently sent Pricilla to Erik's room as she had her hands full cleaning and chopping vegetables for tonight's dinner. Erik had allowed Loretta into his room on occasions to bring him tea or coffee. He had given her permission to check his room on laundry day for items he might have missed. He had not counted on Pricilla entering his private domain or allowing her curiosity to overcome her better sense.

Pricilla entered Erik's room with trepidation, this room she had thought to share with him. Everything had been chosen for durability as well as aesthetic taste. Erik had impeccable taste. Every piece she recognized as being imported from his native country, France.

She lazily trailed her fingers over his possessions trying to read something from all the different bits and pieces he had laying about. If she was not mistaken he had a few very fine masterpieces hanging on his walls.

On his desk she found papers with musical notes and phrases for what she thought would be the song to match the music he wrote. She picked up a stack of papers that looked older than the rest sitting on the desktop.

Across the top of the first page in bold letters she read 'For My Beloved Christine'. The date on the page was from September 1869. An emotion Pricilla had never felt before ripped through her. Never having had anything or anyone to be jealous of she at first did not know what that desire to rip the pages apart meant. If the fireplace had been lit she felt certain those pages would have been on their way to ash by now.

Resisting the urge to throw them across the room, Pricilla forced her hands to lay them precisely as she found them. Wondering what other hidden secrets she might learn Pricilla cast aside the inner warning bells as she walked about the room. She opened the closet door thinking she might find his clothing and perhaps a trunk or two. What she found was a man's shrine to a woman he loved beyond obsession.

Pictures in charcoal as well as water colors and oils were hung about and propped up on the shelves where one would usually find hatboxes, shoes and other personal items. The young woman looked in some pictures to be only fifteen or sixteen, the others only slightly older. Her brown hair and eyes had been drawn with loving detail.

Pricilla blushed to see some of the more risqué poses Erik had created. He either knew the girl intimately or had studied her quite closely to have drawn her so precisely. The date on some of the bolder poses were as recent as only a few months ago. Unless Erik had some hidden paramour who visited him, he had drawn the woman from memory.

This had to be Christine, the woman his composition had been decidated to. Looking at some of them closely she saw the desire in those sultry brown eyes. What at last had Pricilla nearly collapsing was the sight of a life size carved mannequin. The features were the same woman as in all the paintings and drawings. Pricilla blushed crimson to see the lifelike naked representation of Erik's desires. She may be an innocent when it came to intimacy but the places where more wear was obvious did not take a genius to know to what purpose Erik used this likeness of his beloved.

A trunk just to the left of the mannequin drew her eyes. Knowing she should not have even entered his closet Pricilla opened the lid of the trunk once again ignoring all warnings that this trespass would not be taken lightly. Erik would be shamed if he learned of her trespass as well as angry and rightfully so.

Inside the trunk many items were throw about haphazardly as if packed in a hurry. Pictures, playbills, newspaper clippings, books as well as what looked like a personal journal were on the very top. Pricilla knew it contained the key to Erik's past and could provide the means to unlocking his heart. She also knew it should remain private.

Erik gave so little of himself away to others. He left them guessing how he felt or what he thought. Pricilla knew next to nothing about Erik. Wanting desperately to have something to build on she opened the leather journal then began to read from the first page. The writing on those first pages were more childish scribbling than writing. From the date Pricilla guessed Erik would have been about eleven or so. It occurred to her she did not know how old Erik was or on what day he celebrated his birthday.

As she read Pricilla felt all the anguish that little boy had felt all those years ago. He may have not been taught how to form the letters properly but he had expressed himself quite eloquently at times. It seemed almost as if he were practicing using words to familiarize himself with them.

He had put on these pages things he could not tell anyone else. Pricilla wept for that poor innocent boy. She felt drained after only the first few years. His salvation by Antoinette had given her hope for him only to be dashed when he began to write about Christine. His whole personality seemed to change if words could be said to show ones personality.

As his love and devotion had grown so had his devious more dangerous side come out. It nearly tore her apart when she read the outpourings of love he had wept for this woman. The smudges on the pages clearly told of tears shed while writing. All his desperate plans had been written down on pages within this journal. He had even prophesied his own failure to win this Christine Daaé woman.

The later entries were written some six months after that last tragic night. Erik's despair had seemed to lesson on some pages while reaching the deepest lows a person can tolerate on others. He mentioned reading in the papers about his beloved. Pricilla snorted inelegantly at his choice of description for this young woman. That young woman had only been his beloved in his mind. From the things Erik had written down about the girl how could he not see that he had spoiled her, indulged her every whim? Angel of Music my eye. What young woman of even mediocre intelligence would have not come to know that her benevolent angel was in reality a man? Further reading revealed just how aptly Pricilla interpreted this unknown woman's personality.

Pricilla did not know Christine personally and yet she felt Erik had given her a clear picture of this woman. Without being aware, Erik had portrayed Christine as an innocent where men were concerned but very manipulative and needy as a person. She had taken all Erik had to give, clearly knowing he had been a man. Even as naïve and innocent as Pricilla could be at times she knew for a fact that the story of some Angel of Music teaching her to sing from dark corners or behind mirrors and walls would only have fooled her while still a child. As a maturing young woman she would have sensibly known there had been a man behind the Angel of Music. Erik wrote of his suspicions while clearly still willing to delude himself as to Christine's belief in her Angel.

Erik had mentioned several expensive gifts he had given to a Madame Giry to pass on to Christine from her angel. What angel gave tangible gifts to anyone much less used a messenger service? As far as that goes, what angel would demand total obedience while forbidding her to mix with the young gentlemen of the opera house? That clearly smacked of a jealous lover.

Not really wanting to read any more Pricilla knew she must. She had gone this far how much more could there be? The papers told the parts of the story Erik could not even put down on the pages specifically for his private thoughts. Her French might be a little rusty but she could manage.

After struggling through Erik's journal Pricilla felt drained both mentally and physically. She felt relieved that the papers were from some English paper in London. The kidnapping, the fire, his face, all of it had been told in the pages of the papers as well as pictures printed showing the devastation and a drawing of the man thought to be responsible. The man looked so much like Erik it had to be him. The side he kept hidden by the mask had been drawn from memory of one of the audience who happened to be an artist by trade. There could be no mistaking who the papers claimed to be responsible for the death of a stagehand named Joseph Buquet and the tenor Piangi something or other. The ink had been smudged at this point.

The remaining articles told of the massive manhunt and the devastation he had left behind. One last article told of mysterious deposits of rather large sums of money that had been made to several who had been injured in the opera fire. A hefty settlement had been anonymously sent to the two owners, Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur Andre.

Erik had not been able to enter anything in his journal about Christine for many months. Once he had the pages had been filled with such words of longing it pained Pricilla to read them. She felt sorry for all three of the people involved in this story. All the others who had suffered at the hands of Erik during his crazed period she spared a few moments of prayer. She felt Erik's repentance for his misdeeds in the words he had written even as he continued to keep a strong connection to Christine. He loved her still, he may always love her.

The rattling of the doorknob broke through Pricilla's foray into Erik's private life causing her to realize she must face Erik after having committed what some might consider a crime never to be pardoned. She clasped the journal to her chest as she left the safety of the closet. The moment of truth had arrived.

She must face this if they were to have any hope of a future together. She must make him see how futile it was to cling to someone he could never have when a willing woman stood by his side ready to give him everything she possessed without asking for much in return. Could she make him see the truth? Would he want to lose this fantasy world he had created?

Erik had been in the process of unbuttoning his shirt. Hearing the rustle of skirts Erik turned to see Pricilla holding what looked to be his journal tightly pressed to her chest. The door to his closet was opened halfway. Anger such as he had not felt in a long time welled up in him.

Striding forward Erik ripped his book from her grip not caring if he hurt her or not. Glancing down he saw the last page he had written only days ago concerning the raw hurt that still came upon him whenever he thought of Christine. With the date of her departure from her engagement in New York so close he had felt the need to put the words down on paper as to how this made him feel. He had spilled his soul onto every page of his journal. To read those pages was to know Erik completely. He had not ever wanted anyone other than Christine to know him so well.

Erik threw the book across the room advancing on Pricilla who took two steps backward for every one he took forward. When the wall prohibited her from retreating another step Erik's hands gripped Pricilla's arms with near bone crushing strength. Erik began to shake her mercilessly as all the venom he had not been able to spill out toward his nemesis Raoul de Chagny spilled forth to shower Pricilla with acidic words meant to inflict pain.

"You damn prying Pandora. Did you find out what you wanted to know? Do you now see why you hold no appeal for me? You are so far beneath Christine you would have need to grasp her skirt to even come close to her. A bitch of indiscriminate origins would hold more appeal when I look at you. You are not worthy to breathe the same air as my Angel. My...my beloved." It angered Erik even further to feel his throat clogging with unshed tears.

Dragging her helplessly along behind him Erik tossed her into his closet so hard she hit the trunk with a heavy thud as she fell. Pricilla saw stars as her head came into contact with the edge of the trunk. When Erik advanced on her again she covered her head with her arms fearing in this moment his loss of control could free him to do anything.

Erik bent to pick her up. Lifting her aloft once again he shook her nearly shaking her into unconsciousness. As he lowered her Erik thrust her toward the mannequin as he shouted angrily, "See the beauty you will never be? This is my heart, my soul. You with your pitiful offerings have nothing of interest to me. Her cold and lifeless likeness tempts more than you.

Look, look at her from every angle. Compare her to anyone to their detriment. Her soul was pure as any angel. Her voice set my soul afire. When we sang together our souls took flight. Only her, only for her will I ever feel such a connection. You are nothing, do you hear? Nothing." Erik dragged Pricilla from the closet, across the room, then slamming the door open he thrust her out into the hall where she slammed her right shoulder into the wall with enough force to crack the bone of her upper arm. Agony shot up Pricilla's arm. Erik slammed the door clicking the lock to make his point.

Pricilla sat where she had landed after Erik had tossed her out like so much bad rubbish. Tears trickled from her eyes, not all of them due to the pain in her arm. Her head throbbed beating a not so enjoyable rhythm in her head. Touching her fingertips to her forehead she felt the stickiness of blood. Hearing quick footsteps coming up the stairs Pricilla struggled to stand upright. By the time Loretta made it to Pricilla she had been able to pull herself erect. She swayed dizzily leaning upon Loretta once she reached Pricilla.

"Lord above child what was all the shouting about? I tried to hurry but had my hands in dough making bread. I knew Erik had come up so I thought I needn't worry. What happened?"

Pricilla had difficulty speaking. She felt as if she might faint. Loretta took her full weight onto her shoulder. Stretching out her hand she knocked on the door as she called out for Erik to come and help her. She shouted out that Pricilla had injured herself.

The door to Erik's room remained closed. Soon the loud notes from his piano could be heard. She knocked several times with the same non-responsive answer from Erik. Fretting in earnest now as Pricilla lost consciousness, Loretta dragged Pricilla to the edge of the stairs. She debated the safety of trying to carry Pricilla down the steep stairs. Judging Pricilla to weigh around 110 pounds, Loretta regrettably had to seek another way to get Pricilla downstairs.

Spying the dumbwaiter Loretta had found her means to move Pricilla. Tucking a dead weight into a small space was no easy task. Only once she had Pricilla in the dumbwaiter did Loretta spy the bruising on Pricilla's arms. Clearly she could see the imprint of fingers. They were much too long for a woman. The only other person in the house was Erik.

As hard as it was to believe this of Erik it had to be true. Gently shaking Pricilla awake Loretta beseeched her not to fall asleep. She must stay awake in case of concussion. Pricilla wanted to go back to the comforting arms of nothingness. The pain disappeared when she gave into sleep.

Once Loretta had Pricilla downstairs she hurriedly went to the stable to bring one of the horses out. She took the first one she could grab. She did not care a fig that it happened to be Erik's favorite, Midnight Dream. Leading the stud to the buggy had been no easy task nor had it been easy winning his cooperation to allow her to hook him to the buggy. He clearly thought such a chore beneath him as he pranced about. Loretta swatted him gently on the nose to recall his attention to her. Knowing he could not understand a word she said, she nevertheless told him to mind his manners as Pricilla needed him at the moment. Pricilla had earned Midnight's trust. Loretta did not know if he sensed her urgency or simply gave in to one of his whims to be docile as he did occasionally.

Blessedly Loretta had learned how to rig a buggy out of necessity at home. Fear added urgency to her task. Pricilla had become more like a daughter or friend to Loretta than an employer. If anything happened to Pricilla…if she…Lord save Erik from her if the unthinkable happened and Pricilla did not return home safe and sound.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Erik will try but he will still play the fool. He is far too stubborn to admit defeat and that he could be wrong in the woman he pursues. He'll need a good knock on the head to see things clearly.**

**Chapter Nine**

**The Heart Wants What It Wants**

It had not been easy getting Pricilla into the buggy. Loretta only later came to the conclusion she should have hitched up the wagon. The back would have been much roomier and easier to get Pricilla in and out.

Loretta only vaguely remembered where Dr. Derrick Macleod's home and office were located. It could not be that hard to find. The town was of a fair size but not vast enough to lose oneself.

When she found the doctor's residence Loretta wasted no time alerting anyone who cared to know that she had a woman who needed attention and needed it now. Dr. Macleod or Mac as everyone called him opened his door to see a vary harassed looking women ready to pound on his door once more.

Not giving Mac any time to question her she explained that Pricilla had been injured and may have a concussion. Mac ran down the steps to have a look. It did not take him long to figure out that someone had done this to Mrs. Dante, it had not been accidental. He could clearly see the fingerprints on her arm. Mac had seen far too many women in New York with the same sort of bruising and often times worse.

Carefully he picked up Pricilla to carry her into his office. Once he had her lying prone on his examining table all her other injuries came to light. Someone would pay for this Mac vowed as he gently probed the now swollen lower part of Pricilla's arm. When she groaned in pain Mac mercifully did not probe further until he could administer a painreliever.

Mac had not been in town when the last batch of women had arrived. Looking down at his patient he felt a pang in his chest. She wasn't beautiful or even pretty but that would not ever be an issue with Mac. He had seen his own beautiful mother and sisters use their God-given bounty to shred men to bits. They teased, manipulated and lied their way from one man to another with little or no regret.

His own fiancée had been one of New York's most beautiful women yet she had played him for a fool. Promising herself to him she had been carrying on an affair with another man. She had even tried to pass off her child as his. Mac had known it could not be as the time of conception coincided with his trip to Europe.

Looking into Pricilla's eyes Mac concluded she had at least escaped a concussion or if she had one it would be mild. Her pupils were responsive to the light. Her breathing and pulse were both steady and strong. Ascertaining that Mrs. Dante's arm had only been fractured rather than broken Mac just had to bind it securely. He cleaned the other wounds and dabbed a soothing salve on them. When he had finished Mac could not resist brushing back the few stray strands of hair that had escaped her braid.

Loretta had told him his patient's last name was Dante. Mac sifted through all the men he knew. When his mind settled on Erik he promised to make a point of meeting Mr. Erik Dante real soon. Mac had not met him as of yet. He had only observed the man from afar. Mac had honed his ability to read what people hid underneath what they showed people. He came to the conclusion Mr. Dante had much he kept hidden. He did not seem at ease in the presence of others even if he did not give that fact away to the unobservant.

Mac had not thought Mr. Dante had looked the type to manhandle women but then did those degenerates ever look the type? Most of them were solid citizens in every other way. They looked and acted normal. It was only behind closed doors that they used their power to control and manipulate women. Any little perceived infraction of their rules or some slight dissatisfaction with the man's wife ended up being beaten and cowed. Those men were generally cowards who needed this supposed power to fuel a flagging ego or some inadequacy.

He would not stand by while such a fragile creature became another statistic of man's cruelty to man. Mac would face this man Erik Dante head on. He'd warn him that the next time he touched his wife in any other manner than a loving caress Mac would be paying him a visit he would not soon forget.

This threat Mac intended to make would no be an idle promise that would soon be forgotten. It was even a viable one as Mac stood well over six feet. He topped out at 6 feet 4 inches in his bare feet. Nothing about him suggested a weakling. He was broad of shoulder and slim of hip. His blond hair and light blue eyes may look angelic but when it came to defending the defenseless Mac could be anything but angelic toward the guilty party. He had done it many times before. He had even used his own funds to aid in relocating some poor woman and her children. He would continue the support until such time as the women procured an adequate means to support herself and her children.

"Pricilla it is time to wake up. You have nothing to fear. Let Mac take care of everything. Come on sweetheart let me get a look at the color of your eyes. I am not so bad to look at that you need to hide behind sleep."

Loretta stood just behind Mac. She worried to hear the doctor speak in this way. He seemed a bit forward for all his kindness. She should ask him to carry Pricilla out to the wagon and be on her way. Erik would wonder where they had gone. Loretta would not let Erik harm Pricilla again if she could prevent it. She could not imagine what had set him off. Erik had seemed a little on the grumpy side at times but nothing had hinted at this level of violence.

Pricilla began to moan and her eyes fluttered. When she could hold them open with little difficulty her vision cleared. She saw the man before her as some sort of angel as she hurt so badly she felt she must have died from the pain of it.

"Am I dead? Are you the angel sent to guide me home?" Pricilla had always thought death would be an end to earthly pain.

Although slightly slurred in her speech, Pricilla spoke well enough for Mac to understand her. He chuckled as he said gently, "Well now sweetheart I am surely no angel and no, you are not dead. I am Dr. Derrick Macleod. Everyone calls me Mac at least to my face, God only knows what they call me behind my back. You may do so also if you wish.

I tended to your head wound and wrapped your arm. You will need to rest for a day or two. I can give you some medication now that you are awake for the pain. The bruising while turning all shades of the rainbow will look colorful but will fade soon enough.

I do believe your friend Loretta is chomping at the bit to get you home." Mac turned more serious as he took Pricilla's hand. "Should you need me for anything, day or night, all you need do is send for me or come to me. I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe. Do you understand me?"

Pricilla felt too battered and bruised to argue with the doctor. She realized he thought Erik some sort of maniac. Well if she was truthful with herself, had Erik not been slightly mad when treating her so violently? Whatever she had done she had not deserved to be treated in such a brutal way. A man should never lay a hand on a woman in anger.

As much as Pricilla wanted to do so she could not find the words to defend Erik at the moment. The hurt was too fresh and her mind too fogged to think. The best thing she decided would be to say nothing at all. Let this man, Mac, draw his own conclusions.

Pricilla protested weakly when Mac picked her up to carry her out to the wagon. She could not say honestly once in his arms she minded quite so much. It felt good to be surrounded by such strength while cocooned in the safety his gentle embrace. She could hear the steady beat of his heart where her head rested on his chest. This is how Erik should treat her. This is what women dreamed of, being held protectively by a man giving her comfort.

When Mac released her Pricilla felt pangs of regret. For that short bit of time she had imagined those arms were the arms of a lover drawing her to him to keep forever. As she had felt herself being jostled against his chest Pricilla had felt disloyal to Erik for the emotions brought forth by Mac. Mac. She rolled the name silently over her tongue. She liked it. Erik did not deserve any favorable regard from her yet Pricilla could not help wanting to believe this recent battering would be the first and only such incident. Did that make her a fool? Even knowing where his devotion lay Pricilla could not keep hope from burning with a small flame. To give up on him completely would mean another failure in a life filled with them. She would not give up at the first sign of adversity. Perhaps not all marriages went through this sort of trial but they all had issues which must be worked out in order to live together in harmony.

While Loretta and Pricilla had been gone Erik had sunk into despair. He had heard the knocking but knew to open the door would have him going at Pricilla once more. He had drowned out every other sound with the pounding notes he had bashed out on the keys of his piano. He had played random notes with no clear composition in mind. All he wanted was to drown out the sound of Loretta asking for him to help the woman he had abused so horribly.

When he thought he had given enough time for whoever had been at his door to leave Erik had stopped playing. He heard the slamming of the front door then a little latter the jingling of the rigging of either the wagon or buggy. Erik slammed his hands down on the top of his piano angrily. His anger did not all belong to Pricilla. Erik fels angry with himself.

Erik's feverish mind vacilated between remorse, angry justification, and worry that he had driven Pricilla away with his unforgiveable tirade. Fearing Pricilla would be leaving him Erik had gone to the window to see Loretta struggling to drag Pricilla to the waiting buggy. She appeared to be unconscious. Wanting to rush out to lend a hand and knowing he couldn't Erik sobbed with a mixture of despair, regret, and disgust with himself for his actions.

For most of Erik's life he had not denied himself anything that he could buy or steal. He indulged himself lavishly to compesate for other areas of his life he could do notthing to improve. Christine had been one of those unobtainble dreams.

Going into the closet Erik forced himself to examine every piece he had kept to aid him in keeping Christine real for him. He felt as long as he had these tangible remnants of his old life and Christine he could have hope that things could change in his favor. Now it only represented a pitiful attempt to keep someone who had never been his to keep. Christine had been an impossible dream, a fantasy.

Thousands of miles separated them as well as the fact that she had no real desire to find him or be with him. Erik sank to the floor as the full realization came over him just what he had done, what he had lost due to this useless longing for a woman who would only ever be his in dreams. Could dreams comfort one throughout a lifetime? Would they not eventually lose the power to satisfy when no real physical connection could be made?

Grabbing the closest pieces Erik began to rip them apart. Standing up he shoved his way past the half opened door. Erik searched for that book that had damned him to this new hell. Picking up his journal Erik tore page after page from the book. Once the carnage began he could not stop. Erik tore his room apart then continued on to the shrine of his beloved.

He did not stop until nothing remained intact. He only hesitated a moment or two before destroying Christine's lifelike mannequin. Erik had carved every curve of Christine's face and figure with painstaking precision over a period of some eight months. This had been his most hated and loved secret. Pleasure not gained with a real companion could be found in the stiff arms of his creation. Erik's denial of Christine's warm embrace while loving her with every part of him led him to this insanity. Later after all had been lost he had reclaimed his lair and the remainder of his possessions.

The only things of value to the mob had been the items that would translate into coins when sold. All those objects Erik had treasured above any other had been discarded as worthless. Erik had needed them to save what little sanity he had retained after Christine's departure. If he could not have her he would have her likeness in all the ways he could recreate her.

Feeling sick to his soul Erik purged himself a little at a time with every piece of Christine's likeness he destroyed. Ripping page after page bearing her likeness Erik waded through all his memories good and bad. When measured side by side his moments with Christine had more negative than positive memories. Had his time with her really not been as wonderful as he had thought?

Taken moment by moment he could only find rare instances when he had felt close to any real joy and those times were all when he and Christine shared some musical bond. No conversation about anything other than music could he recall having with her. In the last six months of their time together all he could remember were his threats and his last desperate act to win her.

When nothing remained of the shrine Erik slumped down leaning his head against the wall. He began a rhythmic thumping as he chanted, "Stupid, stupid, stupid." For so little return he had devoted two years of his life loving a woman with no promise of anything more than his own imaginings of what they shared.

There had been passion he felt sure, a small piece of her heart perhaps had been claimed by him, her voice had taken him as near to heaven as he could hope to go. For that little bit of Christine Erik had literally destroyed his whole world.

He had created a shrine to a woman who would never enter his life again while he had berated, ignored and harmed a woman who had given her promise to be his and his alone. She had made that commitment before God and man. If he could have opened his eyes and heart just a little would he not now be nearer to his dream of what life should be?

Driving the heel of his hands into his eyes Erik ground them into his head as if that would erase all he had done. Erik had never felt so close to the monster people had thought him as he did at this moment. Only a man possessed of some evil demonic being could do what he had done.

In all his life Erik had never laid an unkind hand on a woman. Being who he had been the opportunity to do so had been there every day. That had not been who he was or wanted to be. Women had always held a place of honor in Erik's mind. Not until Pricilla had he let the evilness in him come completely out in the open. Erik had been a little rough with Christine twice in all the years he had been watching over her. Those times had been the result of her ripping off his mask. Pricilla had not even committed that most heinous trespass against Erik.

Erik forced himself to his feet. He would not hide away from his shame. He would confront it and hope to win back a little of Pricilla and Loretta's respect. He would ask for no more than that. Taking a seat on the veranda Erik vowed he would sit and wait even if the sun sank and rose again before they came back and come back they must if Erik was to continue on. His one purpose in life now was to win her forgiveness.

Even as he promised himself this new beginning he new in the back of his mind he hid the lie his conscience clearly pinted out to him. Erik could not let go of his dream of possessing Christine even knowing she loved another heart and soul. The little glimmer of hope she had given him paled with all she gave to that boy, Raoul de Chagny. For Erik that little ray of light gave him too much hope to abandon what he had wanted for so long.

**A/N: Yeah Erik's being a pr*ck right now. He has no control over any of his emotions. All his life his anger had been left unchecked. No one dare challeng him. Christine had been his one hope for so long and he had devoted so much of his life to her it will not be easily forgotten but I promise he will see another angelic light, evenually. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I will be away for the weekend enjoying participating in a murder so I will not be posting again until probably Mon. or Tues. I really want to get over this hump of despair and begin some more pleasant chapters. I have them all ready so I can post them I just like to receive a few reviews before I post another chapter. Yes, I am greedy that way. Hey it is my only paycheck so cut me some slack. Erik and Pricilla will find their way through this current quagmire Erik has them in but only after he sinks a little deeper. **

**Chapter Ten**

**The Heart Will Go On**

Erik had kept his eyes trained in the direction he knew would bring them home. He would not let himself think they, she, Pricilla would not return. The hours he had sat quietly waiting had afforded him some much needed time to sift through everything.

This half life Erik had forged for himself only felt slightly better than what he had previously. Erik had not spared himself anything when going over every fault he possessed. Not everything about him erred toward the negative. He did have a few redeeming qualities even if he rarely let them come to light.

Being a man of above average intelligence he knew that just because he had made the decision to rid himself of every physical reminder of Christine he would not overnight forget how he felt. Effort on his part would have to be diligently put forth if he was to win Pricilla's kind heart even if it must be as friends only.

He hoped for more as he still had no wish to remain celibate all the rest of his days. Things must change if he was to win her. He could not close himself off from everyone. He could still protect himself without keeping such an impregnable wall around his heart and feelings. He had to let her in even if only a little.

Naturally she would be curious about him. Well now she knew almost all there was to know. If that sent her running for the hills he had no one to blame but himself. He could have given her some bare facts to keep her happy. She would never have needed to know she had tied herself to a criminal and murderer, one who loved another woman.

Erik could see no reason any woman would want him, now even less than before. Pricilla had reason to fear him. In Erik's opinion he had committed a crime for which he could never really make amends. The deed once perpetrated was more hurtful than mere words carelessly spoken, they could not be unspoken just as his brutality could not be taken back. It would be a memory forever. Erik had committed both offenses against Pricilla.

When Erik saw the buggy coming down the road his heart jumped up into his throat. Every word he had rehearsed while waiting for them to return had been wiped away leaving him with nothing coherent to say. He could not say he liked this feeling of trepidation but he deserved every miserable moment of suffering and more.

Erik slowly walked down the steps feeling as if he were made of lead. He wiggled his fingers as he felt a strange numbness taking hold of him. The heavy thud of his heart felt like he might have an attack of some sort. From experience Erik knew this was the onset of a panic attack. If he did not get a grip he could hyperventilate and possibly pass out. What sort of way would that be to welcome his wife home?

Forcing calm while his inner self wanted to panic, Erik met the buggy on the drive. As he went to lift Pricilla from the seat Loretta put a hand on his arm stopping him from taking Pricilla into his arms. Pricilla looked so pale and fragile. Erik's guilt continued to eat at him as well it should.

"Erik I will not stand by and let you hurt her again. I don't know what happened between the two of you to bring this about but nothing she could have done deserved this sort of treatment. She is your wife not some woman of the streets who can expect this sort of thing from time to time.

This is the one and only time this will be put aside as Pricilla has asked me to keep silent on the matter. Well that part of my promise I shall only keep where it concerns those who would gossip. The next time, should there be a next time, you will not be dealing with this poor fragile woman. You will be dealing with me, a woman who has fended off drunken men all her life. I'll not go into the whys and where's of it, just know that I can be a formidable woman when my ire has been raised."

Erik swallowed not in fear but in admiration for this woman's bravery and loyalty to Pricilla. Erik had never had anyone who fought for him against all odds. Antoinette would have been the only one willing to lift a finger to defend him. He could not even say for sure if she would have as she had her own daughter to think of.

"I promise you Loretta on my honor, for what it's worth, that I will never raise a hand to her again. I cannot offer any explanation to you. Pricilla will be the first to hear anything from me. She deserves to know the man she married.

I…I have thought of little else since you left. It had occurred to me you might not come back."

"Well don't think I wouldn't have stayed in town if we could have found a place to go where you would not find us. Living out here does not give one a choice of where to go to get away from it all. Pricilla did not wish to involve her cousin in this. Should we have need to leave I would not be averse to sleeping on the train station's platform." Loretta had not as of yet regained her trust in Erik. She had known of men who treated their wives horribly then begged forgiveness all the while promising never to do such a thing again. The promise only held good until the next thing set the husband off.

Erik lifted Pricilla into his arms once again made aware just how delicate she was. He could break her so easily. Spying the tightly wrapped arm he thought he may already have broken her, the arm at least. Erik could not do anything to curb the tide of shame he felt. He had never harmed a woman to this degree in his life. He prayed he could hold back those dark forces within him so he would not ever lay a finger on Pricilla again. He would rather suffer all the agonies of his past than let her suffer one bruise he caused her.

Not stopping until he came to her room Erik opened the door then strode across to her bed. Carefully he placed her on top of her mattress. She stirred restlessly upon the cool covering of her bed. Blinking she tried to focus on the person hovering over her. When he came into focus at first she panicked to see Erik so close to her. He did not look as if he was a crazed maniac.

Croaking a little when she tried to speak Pricilla cleared her throat, "Erik? Are you…you won't hurt me again will you?" Pricilla hated the timidity lacing her words. The tremble in her voice did not speak of a confident, brave woman either.

Erik felt like sobbing to see such a shy, timid person nearly cringing in fear of him. It brought back too many images of Christine shrinking from him in fear. Reaching out his hand to touch her Erik felt another stab of guilt as Pricilla leaned away from him not trusting him not to hurt her in some way.

Tenderly Erik stroked his finger down her cheek, underneath her chin then on up her other cheek. His movements were slow, his touch as gentle as a butterfly's wings, his voice when he spoke was the one he used to calm terrified wild horses on the first day he tried to place a halter over their head.

"I promise you Pricilla I will never do anything like that again. I feel such shame for my actions. When you feel better we will talk. I think we should have had some conversation in the beginning. You have every right to know whatever you feel you need to know. Ask me any question and I will do my best to be as honest as I can be. I will not tell an untruth so you will see me in a good light. If you have read all that I wrote in my journal you will know most of my misdeeds but there are things that even I could not put into writing.

If I tell you everything perhaps you will understand the kind of man you married. I have never been a good or kind person Pricilla. Every day of my life was a struggle. That is no excuse but it formed the man you see before you. I have tried to change and I think I have in some respects. I found out today just how much more I have to go before I am suitable to be with anyone.

I'll do my best to win your trust back. I know I don't deserve it but I am asking for it. As I am professing all I must confess that what I said at Michael's and Charlotte's house was not the whole truth. It is hard for me to think of any woman being willing to be with me in any intimate way so I lied. I lied because I do find you attractive and I did want to take things further. My damn pride kept me from confessing the truth to you.

Forgive me for cursing but I am so angry with myself at the moment. In my journal…what I wrote about…about women, it is true. I am ashamed to admit it but I am no more experienced than you. I have never had anything more than a couple of kisses. Those too you would have read about.

I am a man like any other but my life did not give me the opportunity to explore those sorts of relationships as other men did. Now…now well…now I feel inadequate. I…I know the mechanics but have never put them into practice.

If…if ever you find you can forgive me perhaps we can learn together…that…that is if and only if you want it too. I will never force that on you. I hope I can rely on my honor as to that at least. I have already violated every other thing that is held in the highest regard by a gentleman. I won't fail again. On my life I will not fail either you or me again. If…if you can…would you…could you and I start fresh? Begin this minute as if we are just meeting?"

Tenderly Erik stroked his finger across the top of her hand. He dare not take any other liberties. He waited to see how she would react. She had remained silent through his whole confession with her lids covering her eyes so he could not read her reaction as her face remained unchanged.

Pricilla wanted to shout to the heavens that yes, yes, yes, she did forgive him, wanted him, even felt something for him that she had never felt for anyone else. When she had heard his confession about his attraction for her she had almost cast her resolution aside to make him suffer just a bit. He deserved that at least. She had held back her emotions.

"I too would like a fresh start. It will take time for me to be able to push what happened to the back of my mind. I do forgive you Erik. I can only imagine how difficult your life has been. I too have a confession. I…I do not find your face horrid Erik. I know I have not seen what you hide but what I do see is far better than many men have. I don't know what those people in your life told you, your journal hinted at some things but I am telling you the truth when I say you Erik Dante are an attractive man and I think myself one lucky woman to have you even if it was not entirely by your own choice. So yes, let us start fresh."

Sighing in relief Erik stood so he could leave her to get her rest. He had kept her long enough. She must be worn out by the day's emotional turmoil. When he had almost made it to the door Pricilla called him back, her voice so low he almost thought he had imagined it.

Turning back Erik waited expectantly to hear what else she had to say. What she did eventually said knocked the wind out of him she shocked him so badly.

"Erik will you kiss me?" Pricilla shocked even herself speaking aloud the words she had thought in the privacy of her mind. She had not been certain she had indeed spoken them until Erik had turned back toward her. The words had come tumbling out before she could check them.

Hesitantly Erik walked back to Pricilla's bed. He must curtail this impulse he had to kiss her fervently as he wanted. He must keep it gentle and without lust invading the gesture. She would not want that from him at the moment. That she asked him to kiss her had him in a whirlwind of confusion. Had he not given her reason to want to have him stay as far away from her as possible? Even if they had come to some tenuous understanding Erik had been prepared to wait months before anything so intimate as a kiss could be ventured. Now she asked him to kiss her.

Pricilla began to tremble with either fright or expectation. She could not be certain which had claimed her as Erik sat down gingerly on the bed. He did not look at her but merely sat beside her back straight, body stiff, with a look upon his face she could not read.

When his gaze lowered to hers Pricilla nearly retracted her request. Erik's eyes had come alive with some emotion that burned her with the heat of it. Lord above did he mean to ravish her? She could not say whether she would protest such an action or eagerly accept it. Inch by inch Erik lowered his head down to Pricilla expecting a rebuff at any second.

Initiating a kiss had not been something Erik had ever been called upon to do. How did one go about this process? Should he swoop in claiming the prize or move in slowly in case she had changed her mind? As Erik hovered over Pricilla indecisively she raised her head the few inches it took for their mouths to touch.

Pricilla felt the soft touch of Erik's lips all throughout her body. The tingling began where their mouths met then started a heated pathway making its way everywhere. At first they merely touched lip to lip. As they became accustomed to that Erik moved his mouth across Pricilla's in a warm moist caress. When she gasped with either pleasure or surprise Erik took advantage of her open mouth to insert his tongue. He had heard that gesture could illicit infinite pleasure and rouse ardor in both participants.

Not having any experience of any sort neither Erik nor Pricilla knew exactly what to do next. The building need for more had them both eager to do something, anything at this point to seek what would follow this new sensation. Tentatively Erik stroked her tongue with his own hoping he did not disgust her in any way.

Nothing could be further from that outcome judging by the fire Erik had lit in Pricilla. Every touch from him triggered some new sensation. Pricilla thought that if only a kiss could do this how frightening and wonderful would anything more be? The need to touch him overwhelmed her. Raising her hands she let them come to rest at the sides of his face.

The mask did not feel intrusive at all as she felt the silky glide of the material against the palm of her hand. Pricilla had her eyes clenched so tightly she could see spots of light flashing behind her lids. She forcibly relaxed wanting to enjoy every nuance Erik brought forth with the smallest movements of his lips and tongue.

Wanting to not merely be a silent bystander, Pricilla moved her own tongue along the side of Erik's. The loud groan coming from somewhere deep within him gave her a moment's pause. She felt frightened yet emboldened to hear such a reaction to something she had done. Pricilla felt Erik's shaking hand come to rest at her side. His fingers kneaded her skin. The flexing of his fingers seemed oddly erotic. Other places on her body craved to feel the same treatment Erik gave the flesh at her waist.

Her breasts tingled as the nipples budded in reaction to the mere thought of Erik touching them. Following the tingling reaction in her breast she felt the warm pooling between her thighs. She clenched them together to ease some unknown yearning. Pricilla unlike most young girls had not discovered the secrets of the flesh between the folds of her womanhood. Not once had she climbed the heights in ecstasy even with her own explorations.

Some inner warning told Erik to ease this torment before it went too far. He had only just got back into her good graces. His body and mind protested as Erik slowly ended the kiss. He leaned his forehead on hers until he could regain control of his runaway libido. A few more seconds and that kiss would have had him up in flames. He had felt his control slipping.

When Erik leaned away from Pricilla he felt gratified to see her face flushed as her lips remained slightly parted. Such a look of wanton pleasure emanated from her Erik could not help feeling some pride that it had been his ardor that had set the match to hers passion.

When she opened her eyes the evidence of her desire, desire for him, could clearly be seen. Erik could hardly believe this woman would allow him such latitude after what he had done. Such a forgiving heart Erik felt should be protected from further damage. He promised himself he would do everything within his power to protect Pricilla from others hurting her and above all keep him from hurting her ever again.

Softly Erik wished her goodnight then left her reluctantly. He went to his lonely bed to be greeted with the aftermath of his destructive rage earlier. He did not want Pricilla or Loretta to see just how violent he could be so he spent the next few hours putting his bedroom back into some semblance of normalcy. He could do nothing about those items he had broken. He gathered those things that could not be repaired and took them to the storage room of the stable. He'd need to build a fire out behind the stable to burn the evidence of his anger.

Burning those things would not erase what he had done but it would keep them from reinforcing in Pricilla how out of control he had been. He would not let this step they had taken tonight be tainted by anything. They had agreed on a fresh start and damn it a fresh start it would be.

Even as Erik made these new commitments to Pricilla he knew he lied to her and to himself. He could not give up someone who had held his heart for so long. Given the opportunity he would pursue Christine again. To acknowledge that only made Erik feel ashamed as well as a betrayer and liar. Knowing this he still felt he would want Christine on some level. All he could do would be to try to give his best to Pricilla.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Stick with me guys. We can't just skip to the good stuff at the end. There has to be a road leading up to the final hurrah. Erik will come around and realize what he has. He just needs to fo through this patch of darkness before there can be light. For those hating Erik for his abuse to Pricilla please be patient and understanding. He is confused about things at the moment and let us face facts Erik is not very good with emotional situations. Look how he handled Christine. Why should we think he is any more prepared for a woman and love than before. He is still basically the same person with a little change and growth. **

**He'll figure things out in time. Love for someone like Erik is a slow going process no matter how strongly he feels. Things for him will just be more complicated as he has no real clue how to behave in the real world with a woman. Emotions are another issue with him. **

**Chapter Eleven**

**Winning Pricilla**

If Erik thought it would be easier now to win Pricilla he could not have been more wrong. For a woman who seemed to be one that others would overlook Pricilla soon had a following of men vying for her attention that angered Erik and tested his resolve to keep his temper under control. It did not help that in the back of his mind a date loomed that would test his resolve to leave Christine behind.

It all began on the day after Erik's tirade. At breakfast nothing had been said about the day or night before. Loretta treated him almost as cordially as she had always done. Erik thought Pricilla must have spoken to her on his behalf. He felt his cheeks heat as he prayed to God Pricilla had not regaled Loretta with what had happened when he had taken her upstairs.

Pricilla announced she wished to attend church. Erik had been going to firmly object as he had no affinity with God but had thought better of it. She held a belief so the least he could do was attend church with her. Besides, it might look odd if she went only with Loretta to sit beside her on the church pew.

Loretta had been told by Pricilla of Erik's apology and his assurances. Pricilla had convinced her that Erik meant what he said. Loretta allowed herself to believe in Erik because she wanted to. Even though she knew that men made those promises all the time and indeed most meant them but when whatever demon drove them came out all promises went out the window. Something about Erik led Loretta to believe in him. She saw something in him worthy of her trust.

Charlotte practically skipped over to her cousin while Michael trailed behind an indulgent and amused look on his face. Everything at the moment about his wife delighted him.

Erik had stood stiffly by ready for Pricilla to give them the full details of his treacherous behavior and how it had resulted in her injuries. When nothing came other than some vague explanation of a fall Erik gave Pricilla a calculating look. Was this just the quiet before the storm? Would she wait until she had him begging and clinging at her hem for some show of affection before she betrayed him? Before Erik could mire himself down in his doubts he shook off all negative thoughts. Pricilla was not like…not like Christine. No, Pricilla was not at all like Christine which now glaringly became more obvious to Erik. He could count his blessings and appreciate that knowledge now. Pricilla was real and so was her regard for him.

The service droned on in a boring dragging of time just as Erik knew it would. If not for being able to hear Pricilla singing the hymns so sweetly Erik would have written that hour off as precious time wasted pursuing nothing worthwhile.

Michael and Charlotte had naturally taken a seat with Erik and Pricilla. Erik had been so bored during the service he had taken to observing his fellow captives in this house of God. He had just passed over a very tall blond headed man when his eyes were drawn back after registering the man had been looking directly at him in return.

Erik had seen that same look that covered this man's face on other faces over his lifetime. He could not recall ever meeting the man before. Erik could not say the man looked at him with hatred exactly but genuine dislike had drawn the man's face into deep furrows over his forehead and across the bridge of his nose.

When the man's eyes shifted to Pricilla such a change in the man's expression made Erik blink. Something like admiration now took over the handsome features of this Adonis. The image of that statue had come into Erik's mind very much annoying him. He'd rather have seen the man as some worthless, pompous dandy or some gargoyle perched on a building of Gothic design.

After the services Erik wanted to rush Pricilla out of building before her admirer attempted to approach them. When she lingered in the pew speaking to her cousin Erik watched his perceived adversary walk out the door relieving Erik greatly. At last Pricilla made a move to leave. Fumbling with her bible, handbag and parasol her attention was not on where she had been headed so it came as no surprise that Pricilla ran smack dab into someone. Too late it occurred to Erik the gentlemanly thing would have been to relive his wife of some of her burden.

Pricilla had been brought to a sudden stop by a very solid object. The solidity of the chest her nose seemed to now be buried in must be masculine as it had no give to it while being far above the height any normal woman, Pricilla concluded she had plowed into some poor unsuspecting man.

"Oh please do forgive me. I should have been looking where I was going." At last Pricilla raised her face so she could see who she had nearly knocked down. She recognized the pleasant features of Dr. Macleod staring back at her. He had a broad smile spread across his face. The laughter reflected in his eyes came out as a pleasant chuckle threw his lips.

"Oh it is quite alright really. I wished to speak with you anyway and what better way of commanding your attention than stopping your forward movement so handily with my chest?"

Glancing over her shoulder Pricilla could see the gathering storm clouds on Erik's face. He did not need to speak for his opinion of Dr. Macleod to be known. What he had against such a kind man Pricilla could not imagine.

"You wished to speak to me Dr. Macleod?" She hated the nervousness clearly heard in her words.

"First of all are we not known to one another well enough to be on a first name basis? I thought we had established you would address me as Mac and I had been granted the privilege of calling you Pricilla. And you my dear Loretta let me just say how pretty you look this fine Sunday morning." Mac took Loretta's hand to bring it to his mouth for a light brushing of his lips across the back of her soft skin. For a woman who did manual labor he could not help but notice that she took care of her hands.

He then proceeded to attend to Pricilla in the same fashion which nearly brought Erik's barely controlled wrath down upon him. Mac could easily read Erik's displeasure. Satisfaction at having cost Mr. Dante some moments of distress pleased him more than it should have. It had been his intention of getting at Erik. Erik deserved to wonder about his wife's relationship with Mac. If Mac gave the impression that more than doctor patient concern was at work so much the better.

"I came to church especially to see for myself how you fared this morning. Michael you are looking well. Let me extend my congratulations toward you and your charming bride." It did not escape Erik's notice no such congratulations were extended to him or Pricilla.

Hoping to head off the explosion she saw close to the surface when she looked at Erik Pricilla hurriedly told Mac that she felt fine. Her injuries had stopped throbbing. In a few days she would be good as new. Pricilla felt a little uncomfortable when Mac probed gently at the sleeve of her dress. She had worn a long sleeved blouse to cover the prints of Erik's fingers where he had grabbed her so tightly.

Meeting Mac's eyes Pricilla knew that Mac was aware she still bore the signs of Erik's rough treatment under the thin layer of cloth covering her arm.

"Well it was so nice to see you again. Erik, should we not be heading home? Loretta and I left bread to rise in the kitchen. If we linger much longer the stewpot will go dry and burn our dinner." Pricilla tossed out everything she could think of to get them headed away from this potential confrontation.

"Pricilla you go on ahead. I would like to speak to Erik so we can become better acquainted. I'll not keep him long." Mac sounded so affable. No one would know he had serious business on his mind.

Michael stared from Erik to Mac. There was more going on here than met the eye. Neither man looked particularly fond of the other. In fact Michael felt some crackling of dislike shooting back and forth between the two men. Knowing his friend Mac and his causes Michael did not even want to think what might be going on. Mac only got like this when he perceived some woman or weaker being in jeopardy. His knight in shining armor tendency had often nearly gotten him killed by some angry husband whose wife had disappeared with Mac's assistance.

Michael did not know Erik well but had not thought him to be the sort of man who would manhandle a woman. He could not help wondering now if Pricilla had told them the truth about her injuries. It wouldn't be the first time a woman had covered for her husband's lack of control or cruel nature. Erik did not seem like a cruel man. He did have a temper that could flare up at the least thing at times. Other than that Michael had found nothing about Erik to lead him to think he would harm anyone.

Not be able to think of any legitimate reason to stay Michael excused himself to go and help Pricilla and Loretta into the buggy. His wife watched his approach with a welcoming smile. They would not have been so happy if they could have been privy to Erik and Mac's conversation.

"Ah, Erik Dante, at last I can put a face to the coward who takes his frustrations out on his poor defenseless wife. I wonder what a man of your caliber would do when faced with a more worthy opponent." Mac spoke in a casual tone as if not really concerned in any real way about anything. He pulled at his leather gloves keeping his eyes downward concentrating on his task as if that was more important than anything else.

Just when Erik was about to make an angry retort and accepting this clear challenge Mac suddenly had a hold of Erik's lapels lifting upward so that Erik's toes were all that touched the wooden landing at the church's front door.

"If ever I see so much as one unexplainable scratch on either Pricilla or Loretta, make no mistake Mr. Dante, you will be dealing with me. I can promise you that if this becomes necessary you will not like the outcome. I never make promises I don't keep.

You should count yourself lucky your wife told me some tale in order to cover for you. She really does care for you although one has to ask why. I never interfere in a man's marriage unless he proves to be an ass in every way. This is the only warning you will get so use this information wisely. More worthy opponents than you have chosen to ignore my warning and paid the price in the end. I may be passive most of the time but nothing brings out my meaner side more than a man who uses women and children to bolster his own ego.

You know it is said that a man lacking in…uh shall we say pleasure giving skills is more likely to abuse women and children. Do you lack those skills Mr. Dante? Perhaps Pricilla may need more from me than my medical knowledge. I have been told I am equally talented in both areas."

The tide of red covering Erik's face as well as the thundering of his heartbeat told Mac he had gone a little further than he wanted. Pricilla's face flashing before his eyes had driven Mac beyond any anger he had ever felt toward another living soul.

Mac slowly released Erik brushing his hands down over the front of him as he said genially, "Remember, one little mark and I am coming after you. Please enjoy the rest of your day Mr. Dante as I shall certainly enjoy mine after seeing your sweet wife."

Erik curled his hands into his palms as an all too familiar red haze washed over him. He restrained the urge to plunge his hidden dagger into Dr. Macleod's retreating back. It was not fear of the man that kept Erik from attacking him. Only thoughts of Pricilla had saved Erik from killing the man where he stood.

Dr. Macleod may be more powerful than Erik as proven by him lifting Erik off his feet with one hand. Erik had cunning and skills learned not from any gentleman's school or club. The things Erik knew came from the streets where fair fights were for the stupid.

Erik centered one last killing mental thrust into Mac's retreating back then forced calm upon his raging emotions. He would not let that man undermine his promises to Pricilla. Another time he might be able to deal with Dr. Macleod without Pricilla being any the wiser. If they crossed paths again Erik would be ready to deal with "Mac" the next time.

Erik went out of his way to remain pleasant the rest of the day. From the looks Pricilla cast at him from time to time Erik knew she wanted to ask what had taken place between him and her doctor friend. If Pricilla had not kissed her the night before so passionately Erik may have been suspicious of her. He felt certain Pricilla would not show such emotions toward a man she did not have any feelings for. He also felt certain she was not the type of woman to dally with any man other than the one she had committed herself to.

The good doctor had made no secret that he would encourage Pricilla to think of him in terms other than physician or mere friend. Erik trusted Pricilla, he could not say the same for Dr. Macleod. The comment the doctor had made about the inadequacies in men causing them to build up their flagging ego by using their power over those less strong had hit a nerve within Erik.

He could not help but wonder if some of what he had done over the years in the opera house had something to do with not having any positive perception about himself. Had he needed to feed his flagging ego? It did not escape his notice that as he grew into manhood his demands were more stringent and resulted in harsher reprisals for those who opposed him. According to the doctors theory Erik had been using his power over all those people to stroke his nearly non-existent ego. Erik's self-image had been lower than even those who feared him.

Believing Pricilla to be his only remaining chance for happiness Erik would move heaven and earth to appease her. Anything she asked of him would be granted if within his power. If he had known what Pricilla's demands might be he may have changed his mind about granting her every wish.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Erik will go through this cleansing phase that is needed for him to go on. He'll need to grovel once this mess with Christine is settled. A lot of hurtful things will happen but they will work out in time. Just keep saying to yourselves " it will come out right in the end". **

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Heart Wants What It Wants**

Erik and Pricilla had come to an amiable daily routine. She continued to accompany him when he split wood but only as an observer. She did bring a towel which she used to wipe him down with from time to time. His water cup magically filled just when he felt in need of a drink. Erik rather enjoyed it when Pricilla administered her tender touch across his back and chest. The front he found even more enjoyable as she blushed shyly as she used the towel on him. This closeness afforded him an opportunity to study her without seeming to stare at her like a dog salivating at a bone.

Pricilla used her limited power over Erik to do things she normally wouldn't get to try as a woman. He had hesitated letting her help with the training of his horses but a subtle reminder from her and Erik capitulated. When she had Midnight Dream eating out of her hand, literally, he could not think of any real reason to keep her away. He honestly did not try very hard.

Much to Erik's irritation Pricilla had invited Michael, Charlotte and Mac to dinner twice. Erik still considered that man Mac his enemy. If Erik began to make objections his dear sweet wife he found would not hesitate to use his promises against him shamefully. When Mac showed far too much interest in Pricilla Erik began to see him as a viable rival. Pricilla being the innocent she was saw only a man who had healed her and wished to know her better as a friend. It did not occur to her that the man could be interested in her romantically. Erik on the other hand being of a suspicious nature as well as having experienced rivalry first hand held every man suspect with the exceptions of Michael and Reverend Mitchell. The good Reverend only became exempt when it became clear he had an interest in Loretta.

In the last week other things had begun to scratch at Erik's confidence in holding Pricilla's interest. Those young men he hired on a regular basis and had considered harmless suddenly took of the persona of sharks circling a tasty meal. Pricilla would bring them savories during the day. Each man would receive some special morsels he particularly liked. She brought them drinks, serving each man with a far too bequiling smile plastered on her face.

She even took notice of missing buttons or rips in shirts and trousers. Without any thought she offered to mend everything. She would lend out Erik's older trousers and shirts while she sat and mended whatever garment needed her attention. While they waited those young men spoke to Pricilla about different topics of interest. Being so easy to speak to as well as an excellent listener, they opened up to Pricilla about all their worries. Erik felt frustrated when Pricilla did not extend him an invitation to join them. As it was his house he could have force himself on them but his pride would not allow that.

Shamelessly Erik would skulk about outside the open sitting room door or open patio door trying to capture every word of the conversation. When the conversation headed down a road Erik found boring he would leave somewhat reassured no one had any intentions of poaching his woman right from under his nose.

Not being an expert in courting techniques but being a woman herself they thought her qualified to advise them as to how to win the heart of their intended whenever they did find a woman to marry. Pricilla felt flattered by all the attention from her new friends. When she found Erik and Loretta busy there was always someone around for idle conversation. Erik had made his opinion of Mac's unsolicited visits plain enough. He tolerated Pricilla extending the man invitations with ill grace. Erik made no secret about his dislike of Mac while the man in question had oddly begun to reconsider his opinion of Erik.

It still crated on Erik's nerves that Mac continued to visit even when Michalel and Charlotte did not come. That sneaky devil timed his visits when Erik would be out riding fences or working with the horses. Being away when Mac paid his visits Erik did not learn the man's true intentions if they were other than mere doctor patient interest or something else.

Mac had questioned Pricilla in such a way that she did not suspect he had been digging for clues to her husband's personality. Pricilla, trusting soul that she was still managed only to let out the basic facts about Erik. Mac could not help but admire Pricilla. Her loyalty had not been won by fear as Mac had at first suspected but by genuine feelings for her recalcitrant and moody husband. No matter what a person did or said the heart would rule where love lead one. The heart wants what it wants and very little can be done to sway it away from the one it desires above all others.

The day arrived that heralded the two year anniversary of Christine's departure from his life. Erik had resolved not to let those old emotions haunt him. He could have perhaps kept to his good intentions if the paper had not come bearing the news of Christine's arrival in New York for a limited engagement at the New York Metropolitan Opera House. Her contract could only be for three months as she had just learned of her expectancy of her first child.

Erik read through the paper as he usually did after dinner. He preferred the evening so as not to spoil his day if the paper carried news he did not care to know. He would have been better off perhaps not reading this edition at all.

At first he barely comprehended that Christine was as close as New York to him at this very moment. For the first time in two years they were on the same continent. A train ride could have him in the same city within a couple of days. Erik felt the pounding in his chest. The hammering matched the chanting in his mind. They chorused in unison "My Angel, my angel, my angel, my angel". Christine, his love, his Angel of Music at last had come to him.

Out of anywhere in the world she had chosen here as her debut in a foreign land. Did she know he resided somewhere in this country and knew he would come to her? Had Antoinette told her where her Angel had gone? She must know of him. The odds of it being coincidental were astronomical as far as Erik was concerned. This had to be either destiny or Christine's way of letting him know she wanted to see him.

Erik did not even register that Christine had announced to the world that she and Raoul were expecting. To be this close to her brought all of his fantasies to life once more. He felt excited and giddy just anticipating seeing her again. He would wire his agent in New York to buy him the best seat in the house as well as reserve a hotel suite for two weeks. Two weeks should give him enough time to convince Christine she belonged to him. Only he could understand her love of music and give her what she needed to continue to be at the top of her performance potential.

Sinking into his fantasy world Erik discarded the fact he had a wife, one he had promised to stand by as well as remain faithful to her forsaking all others. Erik had allowed old wounds to sway his emotions.

Erik did not join Pricilla in the library as had been their custom recently. When the hour of ten struck on the clock Pricilla closed her book so she could see what had kept Erik from joining her. He probably had begun some new composition or other and got lost in his music. Pricilla did not know of anyone else who had a grand piano in a large room that only contained a piano and one chair. Erik only used that room to create and store his compositions. Erik also had a piano in his bedroom just in case his muse struck during the night.

Going to his music room Pricilla heard nothing but quiet. Opening the door Pricilla saw Erik holding the paper in his one hand and a drink in the other. She approached him to see what in the paper held his attention.

He must have heard her for he whipped around holding the hand with the paper slightly behind him. Pricilla could not read anything in his face that would give her a clue what he tried to keep from her.

"Erik I waited for you to join me. I even brought one of your bottles of wine up to toast our success with your new mare. We really will have to find a name for her. We can't keep calling her girl all the time. What is in the paper that has you so upset?" Now that Pricilla stood closer to Erik she could see plainly the agitated look on his face. His breathing too seemed somewhat erratic.

"Nothing is wrong. I simply felt like having an evening to myself. Is that a crime now? Should I have asked your permission perhaps? Well let me inform you, I do as I please. I need no one to tell me what I can and cannot do." As Erik spoke his anger escalated with every word and manifested itself in the steps he took toward Pricilla.

Pricilla heard the slur in Erik's words denoting his inebriation. That on top of the angry shout had her stepping back. She and Erik were alone. Loretta had gone to town to spend time with one of the older members of their church. They were gathering material to begin quilts for the winter. Loretta and Reverend Mitchell had been making eyes at one another for some time now. She went as much for seeing the Reverend as the quilt.

No one would hear her scream if Erik lost control as he had the last time. When Erik raised his glass to his lips Pricilla took that as her cue to leave. She did so hastily. She did not stop until she had closed the door of her bedroom firmly behind her. She did not hear any steps coming up the stairs. She hoped that meant Erik had gotten hold of his galloping temper. She could not imagine what had set him off. He had seemed fine during supper. He had even been charming in a way that had her thinking tonight might lead somewhere other than the two of them sleeping in separate rooms.

Pricilla had been too far up the staircase to hear the splintering of glass as Erik heaved the tumbler holding his whiskey against the wall. Erik sobbed out in denial as the words he had finally absorbed over two hours ago again reverberated around inside his head.

Christine, his Christine had let herself be implanted with another man's child. That boy's child. The betrayal he felt dug into him deeply shredding him all over again. He had only just begun to piece himself back together. When he had first read the article he had skimmed over all but that she had come to sing. She would be here for many months. He had months to plan her return to his life.

He had been congratulating himself on his good fortune silently toasting with a glass or two of whiskey. Pricilla of course would be hurt but not so badly she could not recover. They had after all still not consummated their marriage. Pricilla of all people would understand how much he needed to be with the one he loved. He had tried, he honestly had tried to love Pricilla and thought himself to be halfway there already but then he read the paper and everything from his time with Christine came crashing down on him reawakening all those emotions he had thought buried forever.

Once his mind had absorbed all of the article he had crushed the paper to his chest in denial. No. no, no. He pounded his chest denying what his eyes had seen and his heart already knew to be the truth.

Glass after glass Erik had imbibed the alcohol trying to drink until he could no longer think clearly. Thinking at the moment meant pain and he could not endure any more. Better to cloud his mind than have to face this finality to all his hopes and dreams once more. God how he wished he had not read that paper. At least he could have gone on oblivious to Christine's closeness and found some happiness with Pricilla. Now he would have nothing.

Damn it, no. He would not give up everything. He would salvage something from the wreckage his life had become. Drinking three more quick glasses Erik threw yet another glass into the cold fireplace.

Crumbling the paper Erik tossed it carelessly aside too. Wiping the excess liquor from his mouth Erik raised his eyes toward the ceiling. He would have something from this life. God forgive him for this selfish action but for once he would take something to replace what he could not have. He could not have Christine but Pricilla would not turn him away.

Climbing the stairs unsteadily Erik stood swaying outside Pricilla's room. Some inner turmoil kept him from going in immediately. He felt far too disoriented to think clearly. As he contemplated what awaited him beyond the door everything else became unimportant.

Quietly Erik opened the door. Pricilla must have heard the door open for she called out to him. He did not answer her. Walking to the edge of the bed Erik looked at the woman who wore his ring. He lifted his hand needing this reaffirmation before he went any further. He had to be sure he had not dreamed his marriage to Pricilla as he had dreamed so much of his life. There on his finger resided a ring to match Pricilla's. They were bound by God's law and man's. This gave him certain rights.

Erik ran his finger over her face. He traced her contours curiously inspecting every feature. She did not meet what society considered beauty or even pretty. Pricilla had some unnamable quality that would attract those wise enough to look behind what the world saw at first glance.

Keeping his eyes on hers Erik began to remove his clothing. He had never dressed or undressed in front of anyone. Taking his shirt off in Pricilla's presence while splitting wood had been Erik's only experience disrobing in the presence of another. As he dropped his suit coat on the floor his fingers went at once to the buttons of his shirt.

Pricilla had not said a word but he did take notice of the quick rise and fall of her breasts. She had begun to pant lightly through her open mouth. The light from the hall cast shadowy fingers of light around the room.

When Erik only had his mask and trousers covering him, he took a seat beside Pricilla on the bed. Erik debated with himself if he should chance exposing himself to her before the deed had commenced. If perchance she moved in such a way as to dislodge it during an intimate moment she might become too frightened or repulsed to let him continue.

Erik leaned down to cover Pricilla's mouth with his own. This kiss could not compare to those innocent exchanges from before. As soon as he touched her they both went up in flames. All the pent up sexual tension burst forth like an exploding stick of dynamite.

Their mouths ravaged one another. Hands and lips sought flesh with eagerness. Erik did not give himself time for further thought he tore his mask off tossing it somewhere behind him. For now nothing mattered but the woman sharing this new horizon with him.

Pricilla moaned when Erik drew his lips across the silk of her gown grazing her nipple. She captured him by grasping onto his hair then pressed him wantonly into her eagerly waiting breasts. Every touch created a new sensation. It was all new yet somehow as old as time itself.

Pulling away from Pricilla Erik removed his trousers hastily not caring that the light would give Pricilla a clear view of all his many flaws. His only objective now was to relieve the tension that threatened to explode from within.

Pricilla had looked at Erik's face, his full profile for the first time through lust clouded eyes. Her mind registered the ugly puckering vaguely. She could not in this dim light tell that his skin on the right side had a reddish hue that looked similar to someone who had been burned. That side did look discolored but the shadow covering that half of his face did not give her a clear picture. She could not say honestly if it would have mattered or not. At this moment nothing mattered but that Erik wanted her, Pricilla Jane Carpenter, now Dante. A man wanted her, plain Pricilla, wallflower, woman left on the shelf. To be wanted in this way by a man such as Erik gave Pricilla a heady feeling as if drugged with something that heightened every nerve to receive endless waves of ecstasy.

He knew exactly how she looked. She had not been able to hide her face from him. To her his face did not matter as Erik began to woe her with words, kisses and caresses. He snaked his hand underneath her gown gliding his hand slowly along her thigh. Gradually he directed his hand to her inner thigh.

Pricilla felt she needed something, something only Erik could give her. She silently begged for some relief from the fire building steadily between her thighs. Erik devoured her waiting mouth sending her nearly into a dead faint as his mouth moved from her lips then covered her nipple wetly. The rasping of his tongue added more fuel to a fire burning nearly to flashpoint.

Erik had never felt anything like what he now experienced with caresses alone. Everywhere Pricilla touched him she left a trail of fire behind. Pricilla nearly jumped from the bed when Erik's hand covered her womanhood. Gently Erik glided his hand over the curly mound. He had read that there was a place a man could touch a woman that would send her beyond the reach of sane thought.

Knowing he could not hold out much longer Erik gently nudged her knees apart. This moment would be forever ingrained in his mind as the moment that gave Erik his manhood. As much as everyone would argue this did not define a man, for Erik it did. For him it meant he had finally been accepted as a man. He was not The Devil's Child, Angel of Music, Phantom or Opera Ghost. He was a husband and lover to Pricilla Dante, his wife.

Erik eased forward having read in the same book that women who had not been with a man before might experience some pain and discomfort if not prepared properly by her lover. Erik did not know what more he could do. Much longer and it would be over before it began.

"Pricilla are you ready? I…it may hurt at first. I am sorry for that. I will try to be as gentle as I can. If…if I can…if you want anything from me all you have to do is ask it of me and I shall do my best to appease you."

Pricilla thought although it did not sound lover like how could she complain? Both of them were new at this. From what Erik made her feel already Pricilla had to think that fulfillment was only a moment away.

"I am ready Erik. For you I am ready." She kissed him with more fervor than experience. She did not know if he needed her to do anything. She continued her exploration of his bared flesh. The muscles underneath his scarred skin felt as if honed from solid granite yet the skin felt supple and smooth. As he moved Pricilla could feel the bunching of muscle underneath her hands.

The first probing of Erik's manhood stilled her movements. It felt rather bigger than she had expected. Longing to know just what it felt like Pricilla felt now was her opportune moment to discover all she had ever wanted to know about the differences between men and women.

Not giving her inner reticence time to take root Pricilla felt her way between them until she felt what had to be Erik's very erect and hard manhood. When she wrapped her hand around him Erik groaned so loudly Pricilla at first thought she had done something to hurt him. As he continued to move and groan out loud Pricilla felt a power over another human being she had never felt before.

Erik crushed his mouth down over Pricilla's using his own power over her to bring a groan from Pricilla as she lifted her hips seeking something as of yet unknown to her. Erik's hand brushed some part of her bringing such a rush of pleasure Pricilla caught her breath and almost forgot to breathe again.

Being too far gone Erik rested Pricilla's hand from him. Wrapping his hands around her wrists Erik placed them above her head. Erik searched about with his manhood trying to find that place that led to glory. If he had not imbibed quite so freely he may have been less inept during this process. Frustration gave way to lust. Erik took his manhood in his own hand to guide himself into Pricilla. With urgency Erik drove into Pricilla with no finesse or care for her sensibilities. Once surrounded by her wet warmth Erik lost every bit of his control.

The evenings events began to play inside his mind confusing him as to who he made love to with so little care. Christine. Christine had come to be with him. She was with him now sharing the most intimate act between a man and a woman. Finally she realized who she should be with. In giving her body to him Christine also bound her soul with his.

Such infinite pleasure took hold of Erik. He could neither hear nor feel anything but his own pleasure. Such blissful moments had never been his to have before. To know Christine brought him to this idyllic moment erased every hurtful thing she had ever done to him. Erik forgave her of every betrayal, every slight, every time she took him for granted. He forgave her all of this while laying his heart bare once more at her feet.

"Oh Christine, I love you. Always you, only you. Say you love me. Please dear God let me hear the words. I beg of you Christine love me. Please love me." Erik had sobbed out the last of his pleading just as he reached his moment of perfect bliss.

Erik could have sworn he heard her whisper, "I love you Erik. Only you. Always you, only you." The last sounded as if sobbed out in anguish rather than any declaration of love. He would not ruin this moment by thinking of anything negative. Christine had declared her love for him. She had given herself to him without any coercion or force from him.

Pricilla's bubble of happiness had well and truly burst when she heard Erik calling out his beloved's name while he had made love to her, at least Pricilla had thought he had been making love to her, now she knew better. Even when he begged for his beloved Christine to declare her love Pricilla could not find it in her heart to hurt him so she did what she felt necessary all the while her own heart shattered.

What bigger fool could she make of herself? Even after his declaration when he had begged for this other woman Pricilla had let herself be deceived. Knowing none of it had been for her Pricilla had taken that one moment for herself. Make-believe came in a cold second to reality where lovers where concerned.

Pricilla felt cheated when Erik slumped down to lay heavily against her body. The crush of his heavy weight felt as nothing to the crushing blow Erik had delivered to her in the last few minutes. Not only did he take his pleasure not caring about hers at all but he had declared himself to still love another. He had called that woman's name with such longing it had nearly broken Pricilla's heart that she would never hear him call for her in the same way. Now she knew for certain all her efforts had been useless games her mind had played on her. Desperation had let her see what she had wanted to be there.

When Erik finally rolled off of her, Pricilla turned to her side facing away from him. She could not bear to face him. If he touched her again she may well break into pieces. Tears flowed down wetting the sheets. Pricilla would not let out her pain as her mind screamed at her to do. Silently she let all the misery drain out with her tears. If she cried an ocean perhaps then she would be cleansed.

Pricilla fell asleep when no more tears would come. Exhaustion, more than any desire to sleep claimed her. Before sleep overtook her Pricilla prayed God would kindly strike her with something that took away the memories of every second of this encounter with Erik. Lately Pricilla had begun to think that God had never dealt with her very kindly before. Could he not grant her this one blessing?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Fools Quest**

Erik woke a few hours before dawn. His head felt ready to explode. Every beat of his heart set a drummer into a matching beat inside of his head. His mouth felt dry and tasted horrid. He felt cold, thirsty and needed to relieve himself. His stomach felt as if it might revolt at any second.

Erik had been lying on his stomach. Rolling over Erik panicked as scenes flashed before his eyes. Had it been a dream or had he really been with…Realization struck him. He did not need to reach out a questing hand to know Pricilla would be there. Everything began to unfold slowly, as if one photo at a time would reveal itself to him.

Guilt overshadowed every other emotion. What should have been the most glorious night for Pricilla and himself he had distorted into something so ugly, so horrid it sickened him to remember any part of it. He could not erase the sublime pleasure he had felt but that too left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. How could he have used Pricilla in that way? He had sunk lower than even he had thought possible to go.

He had not only failed himself by bringing Christine into something that should have been between himself and Pricilla but Erik had the humiliating truth clamoring to be acknowledged that he had failed to bring Pricilla past the plateau he had somehow been able to lead her to. He could not remember being given any sudden insight into how a man brought about the same measure of fulfillment he received.

Shame washed over Erik to know that for all his good intentions to honor whatever woman ever allowed him that moment of sheer bliss he would return it tenfold, Erik recalled all too clearly reaching that moment when nothing mattered but the glorious sensations he experienced without affording Pricilla that same pleasurable ending.

How could he have taken Pricilla in such a way? He had not been so inebriated he had not known what he did or could function as he needed to. Monster and demon that he was Erik had taken what Pricilla offered out of some misguided regard for him and turned it into a memory that will leave her with nothing other than disappointment and a sense of betrayal.

Even through the pounding in his head Erik could clearly hear himself begging not for Pricilla to love him but Christine. Once again he had let Christine's ghost intrude upon his life. This could not continue. Erik had to put an end to it one way or the other. Now it not only impeded his life but this obsession had dragged an innocent woman into the tangled web of distorted truths.

As quietly as he could Erik left Pricilla lying curled up on her side. Either by accident or design, Pricilla had turned from him and not even in sleep had Pricilla sought to find comfort in Erik's arms. Why should she? He had so far only given her reasons to hate and fear him.

Erik studied every inch of her. Her bare back and shoulder gave him a few moments of regret. He could remember the taste and feel of her even if at the time he had been imagining someone else. She deserved a better man than he could ever hope to be. Perhaps not even Christine deserved such an uncaring hardhearted bastard.

Fearing Pricilla would wake Erik grabbed his trousers. Thrusting his legs in he then searched for his boots. Finding his boots Erik did not take the time to put them on. He did not even waste time to search for his shirt. The only other article he sought he cursed as he picked it up. His mask stared back at him coldly mocking him with its blank glare.

Resolutely Erik turned away leaving the room before he changed his mind. Looking at Pricilla in such an alluring setting had startled him when hot desire had heated his lower belly urging him to crawl back in that bed with her. He must not be weak. If he was to have any sort of worthwhile future he had to bury his past completely.

Grabbing the first bag his hand latched onto Erik tossed it on the bed. Hurriedly he gathered items stuffing them in the bag. He kept it light as he would be taking Midnight Dream with him. The journey would take longer but he needed the extra time to clear his head. He had plans to make as to how he would present himself to Christine. He did not wish to cause her alarm. Knowing it would be impossible to approach her in any way without her fearing his motives, Erik thought he might just follow her from the shadows as he used to do. He could observe her until the right moment presented itself for him to make himself known to her.

Erik wasted no more time gathering his things. Anything he needed could be purchased. Knowing that leaving without speaking to Pricilla or leaving her a note leaned toward cowardice, Erik had to do it this way as he could not think of anything adequate to say to Pricilla that would not hurt her. Erik felt he had done enough damage to her fragile heart.

He could send some form of note later when he could find words that would explain his actions while assuring her that his decision had nothing to do with her. He alone would take the burden of fault on his shoulders.

Once Erik left the house he would not allow himself to look back. He may well lose all possibility of any sort of life with Pricilla by doing this but Erik had to know. He could not move forward until the stumbling block that had been his love for Christine could be either validated or cast into oblivion.

Pricilla awoke feeling sore and dispirited. Any expectation of finding out the mysteries about the union between men and women had been ground to dust. Pricilla turned over onto her back not wanting to even begin this day. She did not hear Erik breathing. When she peered out the corner of her eye all she saw was emptiness. Stretching her hand out the sheets were cold. If she thought nothing could humiliate her further Pricilla found out differently as her bed seemed to have become a lonely stretch of miles instead of a few feet.

A knock at the door heralded the entrance of Loretta. This had never happened before. Pricilla always joined Loretta in the kitchen for a cup of coffee or tea before they set to work getting breakfast. Pricilla had enjoyed the lessons Loretta gave her. If Pricilla had had a normal mother she would have taught Pricilla everything Loretta tried to pass on to her willing student.

Loretta would not look Pricilla in the eye. Pricilla thought it might have something to do with being uncomfortable to be in the room knowing she and Erik had spent the night together. Loretta would have already have gone to Erik's room as she did that first thing every morning. Pricilla eagerly sipped the liquid from the cup Loretta handed her. She needed this stimulus to awaken her sluggish brain.

Softly Loretta rested her hand on Pricilla's wrist as she said, "Pricilla dear, please set the cup down. I…I have something to tell you…something unpleasant. I am not even sure about what I think is going on." When Pricilla sat with her cup poised halfway to her mouth a question clearly written on her face Loretta continued even more gently than before as if Pricilla was the most fragile being in the world. "Please dear, indulge me for a few minutes."

Worried now, Pricilla lowered her cup to set it on the table. She folded her hands in her lap struggling to keep the sheet covering her bare shoulders and tops of her bosoms. She could do nothing to stem the tide of crimson rising to her face. Pricilla wiggled telling herself that she had done nothing wrong. She and Erik were married even if he cared nothing for her he had every right to enforce his marital rights.

Pricilla listened as Loretta told her that she had come home after midnight then gone to bed. Having imbibed in a few drinks on top of a heavy meal had left her stomach threatening to revolt. She had gotten up after a few hours to brew an herbal tea. While waiting for the kettle to boil she had heard the stairs creaking.

Having gone out into the hallway Loretta had just been in time to see Erik leaving the house carrying a piece of luggage. He had seemed to be in a hurry. From the window in the kitchen Loretta had watched Erik stride to the stable. Some twenty minutes later he had come out leading Midnight Dream behind him. He had mounted then left to go in the opposite direction from town. He had headed East.

Pricilla ran her hand distractedly through her disheveled hair. What did this mean? No, she would not believe it. Erik would not leave without informing her in some way that he had gone on a trip to inspect some new horses for purchase.

Scooting along the bed Pricilla pulled the sheet along with her as she said, "There must be a note here explaining where he went. He had not mentioned a trip but perhaps he simply forgot." Pricilla felt she needed to convince herself as well as Loretta Erik had only gone on a buying trip.

When she reached the edge of the bed Pricilla tugged the sheet with her wrapping it around her in a sarong fashion. She dashed about mumbling about a note. Erik must have left a note. Checking everywhere even underneath her desk she found nothing. Leaving her room Pricilla went to ransack Erik's room which still had not been completely straightened from his bout of destruction.

As nothing could be found Pricilla's hope of finding a note dwindled until she could not deny that Erik had left without so much as a word to her or Loretta. If he went East that precluded him leaving a note with Michael and Charlotte. At least she could put off the humiliation that her husband found her so lacking in everything womanly he had gone off without a whisper as to his whereabouts to get away from her.

Pricilla's present sorry state continued as she nibbled a dry piece of toast at the table she shared with Loretta. Neither felt like talking. What could they say just now? To mention Erik would only dig at Pricilla's fresh heartache.

After breakfast Pricilla drifted listlessly through the house. Her feet took her to Erik's music room downstairs. The shattered glass sparkled in the sunlight streaming in. Wondering what in the world had set Erik off Pricilla bent to begin to pick up shards of glass. Tucked up underneath the stool sitting in front of the fireplace Pricilla found a wadded up newspaper. Smoothing out the pages Pricilla hoped this would give her some clue.

She could see nothing on the front page nor in the next few pages. It was not until she reached the entertainment section that she found the reason for Erik's tirade as well as his amorous attention toward her. It also explained his glaring faux paux when he had called Pricilla by another woman's name. Not just any woman either but his first and last love.

Still resting on her bent legs Pricilla read through the article. Now as least she knew where Erik had gone in such a hurry, so much so he could not spare the time to leave one word to her, Pricilla, his lawful wife.

Pricilla clutched at her chest wondering how much more she had to suffer before she completely broke. At the moment she felt as if she were held together by some very fragile threads. One more careless touch and she would topple landing in a pile much the same as the shattered glass Erik had thrown into the fireplace.

Christine, here, only a couple of days from here, in New York? That without a doubt would be where Erik had gone. Nothing could keep him from pursuing the woman he truly loved, certainly not his very unremarkable wife. The wonder of it all had been that he could have mistaken Pricilla at all for such a beauty Pricilla knew Christine to be.

The paper's grainy print did not do the woman justice but Erik had reproduced his loves every fine curve of lip, cheek and brow. The woman must have dug her memory in deeply for Erik to see her so clearly.

Pricilla doubted Erik could recite one simple fact of what she looked like while she could close her eyes and see him as if he stood before her. His eyes while at first glance seem the same blue as her own eyes were, Pricilla knew all too well they smoldered with a green fire when his emotions were strong. His mouth looked hard at times but Pricilla knew just how soft those lips felt pressed passionately on her own could be. His hair felt as soft as feathers sifting through her fingers.

His hands were strong enough to crush her bones but Pricilla also knew their tenderness. Erik's tall frame had lain atop her own bringing such a sweet thrumming tune humming along every nerve. Those same hands which had hurt her in anger had touched her most secret place with such boldness yet curiously fumbling unsure fingers which for all they seemed unschooled in such things Erik had brought Pricilla as close to leaving her body without actually dying.

Yes, Pricilla could say she knew Erik better than almost anyone for all the good it had done her. At the first hint of the possibility of seeing that woman, Erik had abandoned her with no word to let her know when or even if he intended to return.

Struggling to her feet Pricilla felt as if ages had passed while she indulged in her self-pitying recounting of all the wrongs committed against her. Pricilla felt old, alone and frightened of what lay ahead of her. How could she face everyone when they learned Erik had left her? Dear God, what if he brought that woman home with him? Would he toss her aside like unwanted rubbish? Would it be a case of off with the old on with the new?

Pricilla would have to live in limbo until Erik returned or sent her word of his intentions. Once again Pricilla found herself in a position of ridicule. She knew very well what everyone would assume. If they were only half right Pricilla had no intention of setting the record straight. She'd bear this alone as she had the many hurtful things throughout her life. Pricilla had no idea fate would deal her blow after blow testing her will to survive much as Erik's had been tested over his lifetime.

**A/N: Things will be getting even worse for sweet Pricilla but she'll be all the stronger for it. Erik is being an a** at the moment but he does need this trip to once and for all put Christine where she belongs, in his past with no place in his present or future. **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I debated whether or not to post this on Mother's Day but decided I would. Hopefully it will not be read by anyone easily depressed. I am posting these misery chapter close together in hopes of getting past all of it soon. I am trying to get us to happier times. We will get there soon. Thank God. I can't tak much more as I have lived through this story several times. I have gone through the creative portion, the editing, taking it from my original document to place it in a single chapter document. Then after all that I have to upload it to . Once there I edit it one last time before posting a chapter so you see I relive my stories many times. The happier moments I don't mind so much. **

**I do love my stories that pull every raw emotion from me then fill me in the end with satisfactio when I get a happy ending. The greater the adversity the greater the happiness at the end. **

**As before I still own nothing but my original characters. **

**Chapter Fourteen**

**When Lies Cannot Blind**

Two weeks and still there was not one word in a letter or telegram from Erik. Pricilla hurried through the tasks she had set for herself to accomplish every day so that she could make the trip to town to collect any mail that might have come with the mornings train. Every day she returned home disappointed. Not wanting Charlotte to see her misery Pricilla did not see her cousin as often as she would have liked.

Everyone had accepted Pricilla's explanation at first of Erik's having been notified of a sudden offer of a horse he had been considering to add to his stable if the owner ever decided to sell. After a week without any word from Erik Michael and Charlotte began to suspect all was not well in the Dante home. Pricilla had not looked well during any of her visits. When they made inquiries she dismissed their concern stating a summer cold had taken hold of her.

The tearing that came on her suddenly rendered proof to that explanation. Where she had been fashionably pale before now Pricilla took on an unhealthy pallor. Dark circles appeared at her eyes adding to her sickly appearance. Perhaps Pricilla's explanations were not so far from the truth. Pricilla's disillusionment began to take its toll on her. She became a shadow of her former self.

Mac had expressed his concern for Pricilla to Michael in private. He worried about the sudden change in her. Before, Pricilla had been shy but willing to converse if spoken to. Now she seemed to have withdrawn into some private world that did not offer her any consoling or soothing moments.

Mac had seen women enter into this kind of deep depression not ever return to their normal selves. Mac railed at himself for not making it clearer to Erik what he would do if he should harm Pricilla in any way, Mac had thought only of the physical abuse he had been privy to. Now he knew that Erik could inflict a much more damaging blow to Pricilla. The woman, for whatever reason loved her wayward husband and it was slowly killing her.

Everyone rallied around Pricilla trying to encourage her belief that Erik had only gone for a short while and would return any day now. After a month it became harder to convince Pricilla when they did not believe any of it themselves. To add to Pricilla's misery she had begun to be ill in the mornings until late in the afternoon. After three days of this Pricilla had taken to her bed weakly not getting up again.

Loretta had had enough. She bundled Pricilla up as best she could then helped her into the buggy Loretta had rigged. By now Loretta considered herself an old hand doing what men considered men's responsibilities. Well to those men Loretta would say that only held true if the man were present. Erik had a lot to answer for if he ever did return.

Mac examined Pricilla and asked questions about different things concerning her cycles and when she had her last. Pricilla felt too ill to even feel embarrassed by Mac's questions. She only wished to either die or recover soon.

Holding Pricilla's hands in his own much larger ones Mac told Pricilla she would be a new mother in about seven and a half months. At first Mac's words did not register with Pricilla. When they did a gradual acceptance worked its way upward from her heart to her head. A little flicker of joy built into a blaze of overwhelming happiness Pricilla feared the fates who had been treating her so unkindly would be jealous of her moments of happiness and snatch them from her.

The difference in Pricilla after she new of her impending motherhood was to compare night and day. She took on a new vigor. Loretta clucked around her like a mother hen which Pricilla secretly relished even as she protested all the fussing.

Pricilla at last thought she would have something, someone who would be completely hers. She would have someone who would not care if her face did not meet the standards of true beauty. This little person would be loved and return her love without reservation. The mother and child bond if allowed to take hold could outlast any other bond other than the purest sort of love between a man and woman. If Pricilla could not have the second she would at least have the compensation of the first.

Only two weeks after learning of her child growing inside of her Pricilla suffered the agony of the gradual loss of her unborn child. Mac could do nothing to stop the loss of blood heralding the passing of Pricilla's child. He worked tirelessly using every bit of his knowledge to no avail.

Everyone stayed close to Pricilla fearing they would lose her back into the darkness that had claimed her before. Pricilla remained silent but seemed to be aware of them and her surroundings. Her eyes did not have that faraway vacant stare from before.

On the fifth day after losing her child Loretta came to Pricilla's room to find her dressed and sitting by the window looking out onto the back garden. At first Loretta thanked God for Pricilla's return. That only lasted until Pricilla turned to look at her and speak with words so hard and unfeeling Pricilla sounded unlike herself.

"Has everyone gone or are they still here? If they have not gone ask them to stay for supper then inform them I will not be needing nursemaids any longer. I am completely recovered. Nothing can be done to change any of it so it is best to put it in the past and leave it there.

Everyone can stop worrying about me. I will be fine. At last I know my place in life and will carve out whatever life I can. I won't let any idiotic fantasies rule my head any longer. I have faced facts and they are that I am meant to be alone. Being alone does not have to mean I am lonely. I have you, Charlotte, Michael and dear Mac. What more do I need?"

"But what about…what about Erik? Where in all of this will he fit if he comes back?" Loretta still had not forgiven Erik but had felt that if he did return Pricilla would take him back with open arms. Her complete devastation when he had not come home had been enough for Loretta to know how much Pricilla did care for her husband.

"What about Erik? Do you imagine he has given me one thought since his departure? Does it seem realistic to expect him to return? Even if he does things will be no different. Do you know that Erik left me to seek out another woman? A woman from his past who held onto his heart with an unbreakable chain wrapped around him? Oh, pardon, of course you are not aware of that. I, myself only learned of it by accident. Erik is gone from my life even should he return."

Loretta did not care for this new hard tenor that had taken over Pricilla's usual shy sweet manner of speaking. Everything about Pricilla spoke of hardness. Her eyes, face and possibly even her heart were now encased with some impenetrable coating. Loretta virulently cursed Erik wherever he was at the moment. He had much to answer for when he came home.

The days passed with Pricilla sinking further into her own world. She would sit at the window oblivious to everyone and everything around her. Her solution to relieving the pain had been to retreat from the world once more. If she went far enough away nothing would ever harm her again. A world where nothing touched you seemed heavenly to Pricilla at this moment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Finality**

Erik had not stopped more than a couple of hours at a time each of the two days he had been traveling. If Midnight Dream had not needed rest and feed Erik would have sacrificed his own health to shorten the journey. His dreams at night were about a woman he may well have sacrificed for nothing. During the daylight hours Erik thought of nothing else but his coming meeting with Christine.

New York remained the busy hub of civilization it had been since the last time Erik had been there. He had managed to send on a telegram to his agent in New York from a small town along the way. Even in places where there were not many people tracks ran across the land. Where tracks went so did the wires for the telegraph.

Wrestling with his conscience Erik debated whether or not to send Pricilla a telegram or write a letter. He did not think he could compose anything that would gain her forbearance so he did neither. Consoling himself with the knowledge that he and Pricilla were not in any way tangled with emotional attachments Erik relieved himself of any responsibility altogether. To distance himself lessoned his guilt to have journeyed so far seeking a woman who may or may not even want to see him.

Erik could not help the dreams that left him restless. Contrary to what he had expected it had not been Christine who featured in his nighttime passage into sleep. Pricilla had clearly been the woman giving and receiving pleasure. Everything became a confusing cauldron of emotions by the time Erik had settled into his room.

He had been so distraught he did not even take notice of those incredulous stares from hotel staff and patrons alike. He presented an even odder presence now than before as he had not properly bathed since he had left home. The ticket for tonight's performance had been left with the concierge at the front desk. The man hesitated to give it to Erik suspecting some mistake had been made. Erik did look rather as though he would fit into the roll of beggar more aptly than that of wealthy entrepreneur.

A large folder had also been left for Erik at the desk. Seating himself after tipping the bellboy, Erik untied the string wrapped around the folder. Opening it up Erik found photographs, newspaper clippings, itinerary for the de Chagny's for the next six months as well as invitations to various social engagements that the de Chagnys would be attending. Erik marveled at the efficiency of Mr. Charles Dunbar, Erik's representative in business matters.

Erik took a long leisurely bath waylaying his mind every time his thoughts seemed to head in the direction of Pricilla. He had to focus on his objective and not let this newly, unnamed emotion rule him. He must settle whatever remained between him and Christine first then deal with Pricilla. Not being experienced in the matters of the heart or women's rational Erik did not know he risked whatever future he may have with Pricilla for an uncertainty with Christine.

Nothing could have prepared Erik for his first glimpse of Christine as she came on stage. The urge to steal her away once more nearly had him jumping onto the stage. The first note from her angelic throat captured his heart if ever it had indeed been set free.

Her voice surrounded him, invaded every empty place within him. The rest of the world receded into a mere annoying necessity. If Erik could exist only with Christine he believed that this plain of existence would be near to heaven. Her voice transported him there with every note floating majestically on the air.

Niggling images of Pricilla flitted through this moment of bliss angering him. Forcibly Erik pushed Pricilla into oblivion. He could hear her voice whispering something pleadingly which he chose to ignore. She did not belong here in this shared musical euphoria. Only he and Christine could ever understand this connection music graced upon them.

Erik had taken the time earlier to study the building. Unfortunately there were no hidden passages or trap doors other than those used on the stage. Christine's dressing room did have a rather large storage room next door that Erik had conveniently cut out a relatively large bit of plaster so he could make his way into Christine's room at an opportune moment.

Tearing himself away from Christine's performance had not been easy but if he was to waylay her in her dressing room Erik had to hide out in the storage closet before the end of the performance. Everyone would be milling about congratulating one another on the night's success soon after the final curtain call.

Once Christine returned to her room a dresser would aid in removing the heavy costume then leave Christine to her own devices for a while as other performers would have need of the same service from the dresser.

Excitement nearly made Erik clumsy. He almost ran into Raoul wandering the hallway. Luckily Erik had been able to duck back inside his box. Erik peered out secretly observing his rival. De Chagny looked only slightly more mature than he had two years ago. Erik felt the curling of his fingers as if anticipating wrapping them around Raoul's very vulnerable throat. Erik had thought he had resolved most of his animosity toward Raoul but that had been when he had not had the man directly in his line of sight.

When Raoul disappeared into his own box Erik relaxed. It would not do to begin the evening with Raoul's murder. Once he had settled things with Christine then would be the time to settle old scores. Every thought Erik had before of Raoul only doing what any man would do and holding no blame against him faded into nothingness as Erik plotted and planned his reunion with Christine.

Being more careful now Erik made his way to the storage closet. Entering it Erik found it just as he had left it earlier in the day. Moving the heavy wooden crate from in front of where Erik had cut out the square of plaster, Erik knelt down to remove the plaster from the wall. He had cut a similar square in the wall into Christine's room. A bench had been sitting along the wall giving convenient cover to Erik's remodeling.

Erik only had to wait for a little over half an hour before loud applause denoted the end of the performance. Erik's heart began to race. He could hardly breathe. Every time he had been about to encounter Christine this same reaction had taken place. She had always reduced him to a mere boy anticipating seeing her from the shadows as he instructed her how to make the proper notes emit from her mouth. Many times he had sat in box five lost to the world around him as he drank in every movement or sound she made. Erik had felt all thumbs and incoherent of speech as he would sit delighting in the knowledge she looked occasionally toward the box that had been designated as his own on command from the Phantom of the Opera.

When the door opened Erik felt himself transported back in time. This wall now became one of his many panels that gave him access to the whole of the opera house. In his mind Erik could clearly see Christine standing before the two way mirror turning this way and that as she adjusted the drape of her skirt or pushed back an unruly curl from her face.

In great detail Erik could recall every enchanting movement Christine had made. Every expression that had ever passed across her face he could reproduce in a likeness of her on paper. At anytime over the last two years if he needed to see her image he need only to close his eyes for her to be before him as if really in his presence.

Another's image kept trying to creep into Erik's mind nudging Christine out. Erik would not let anything or anyone intrude on his time with Christine. With only a twinge of guilt Erik placed a mental barrier in front of those intrusive murmurings and images.

Christine went behind the dressing screen so that she could be helped in the removal of the costume she had worn on stage. With a smile she assured Eloise that she could finish on her own. This being opening night Eloise would be run off her feet. She did not give Christine time to change her mind. When the door closed behind Eloise and Christine remained behind the screen Erik crawled through the openings he had cut out. Once in Christine's dressing room Erik stood nervously pacing to and fro. He had to be quiet so as not to alarm her but could not stop his movements.

Hearing the rustle of silk Erik stopped all movement. He nearly forgot to breath. Christine came from behind the screen tying the sash to her dressing gown much as she had done the time Erik had taken her for the first time to his home under the opera house.

Sensing someone Christine looked up startled to find a man before her. Not just any man but her angel. "Angel is it really you? You are not a figment of my imagination like all the other times I have heard and felt your presence?"

Angel? She would still place him in that otherworldly realm even after he had shown her by his misdeeds and horrible sins that he had never been any sort of angel? She called him angel even after Erik had clearly given her evidence that he was very much a man, not even a good man, but one who showed no mercy or concern for anyone who would get in his way.

Having lived among other men as a normal man Erik felt resentment rising within him for her continued resistance to taking note of his humanity. Before he could reprimand her Christine spoke earnestly stating, "Oh please do forgive me. I…I know you are not an angel neither mine nor anyone else's.

I had hoped you would come. Madame had said you were here and would likely attend at least one of my performances. She told me your name, Erik. Madame has told me much about you I did not know. I ignorantly thought I knew all there was to know.

I have missed you so. I worried about how you would live away from all you knew at the opera house. Have you been well?"

"I have come a long way from being a ghostly phantom. I am seen now in the light and not only in darkness or in shadows. I live as a man should live." If Erik hoped to impress her he failed as she seemed focused on wanting to garner some word of forgiveness from him. The absurdity of it struck him. It should be he who begged for a crumb of forgiveness from her for all the years he manipulated her childish mind.

"I wanted to ask your forgiveness for any hurt I may have caused you." Christine had felt this man's comforting presence for the better part of her life. Whatever he had done he had always been kind and encouraging to her, until those last few months.

Erik slowly approached her. Reaching out Erik took her two hands in his own. Raising them to his lips Erik bestowed a tender kiss upon the back of each hand. Within his hands Erik could feel the tremble of Christine's delicate fingers. Whether from fear or from something else Erik did not know.

"Erik, you cannot stay long. Raoul…Raoul will be here soon. I fear what he may do if he sees you again." Christine had been torn between her lover and her teacher back during her rise in the opera house. As much as she loved Raoul there remained a part of her that would always feel some longing for the man before her. He had awoken such wonderful yet frightening emotions in her. He had not been the one to soothe those longings. Raoul had been her first and only lover. As much as she still sometimes thought of her teacher with residual unexplored longings Christine knew Raoul would always be the master of her heart.

"Christine I had to see you. I remember things. I feel things. Please tell me I did not imagine the longing I saw in your eyes during our duet together. I could swear I saw desire burning in the depth of your eyes.

Come with me. Be with me. I would give you the world. You already have my heart and soul. Please tell me I am not a fool to believe you could ever care for me, even love me." Erik's voice quivered with raw emotion. He risked her rejection of him again. Once more he laid himself open to the thrust of Christine's dagger of denial.

"Oh Erik what have I done to you? I had hoped you would find a life for yourself. Madame said you have become prosperous. Is there no one who has tugged at your heart? I do not know if I could live knowing you languish in this world with no one to comfort and care for you.

Erik I cannot give you what you want. If ever there could have been anything between us that time has long since passed us by. I love my husband." Fearing what she would say next may well send him into one of his tirades Christine stepped closer to the door. Placing both of her hands on her lower abdomen she fearfully said, "I am with child Erik. Raoul and I have created a child together. We love one another and would wither and die if we lost one another.

Please Erik leave here and never think of me again. I have promised myself that when you leave here tonight I will place you in some locked corner of my mind. You have no place in my life anymore. Raoul and now our child are all that I care about." Christine saw as well as felt Erik's ache in his heart as if it were her own. She had never meant to hurt him but he gave her no choice. She must renounce him then rid herself of his memory as best as she could. Raoul deserved a wife who could be with him wholeheartedly. All of her thoughts for her Angel of Music must be banished forever if she and Raoul were to live without Erik's ghost between them.

If Christine could be sure never to see Erik again she would be able to remove him from her mind. Not seeing him would eventually erase him from her mind. At least she hoped that proved to be true. She did care for him but could not risk everything for some emtional attachment she could not even readily define. What she felt for her Angel had always been complicate, moreso once he showed himself to be a man.

Erik could barely withstand the blows Christine had delivered to his heart. His pride had been ground under her delicate foot yet again. He could not blame her for any of this. She had not asked him to bare his soul only to have her rip out his heart. Somewhere in the back of Erik's mind he had known all along it would end this way. Had he not in some part of him known Christine and he were not meant to be? She was not the woman destined to be by his side if indeed any such woman existed. Pricilla's face flashed briefly into Erik's mind.

As agonizing as it felt Erik could say he did not feel as if he would die as he had that first time his profession of love had been thrown back in his face. Maybe not at this very moment but later Erik might even find it in his heart to be grateful to Christine for finally severing any last hope he had of winning her. It almost felt like relief to not have a dream burning inside of him that he knew could never be fulfilled.

Christine had been his first real chance at a normal life, at least she had been the first he had let himself feel anything for. It had been his poor choice to fall for a woman he had known all along would never quite fit into his world. He could not see any flaws in his plans back then or maybe even in the last few days but now the mist began to lift letting him see what he had not wanted to see before.

Erik left Christine's dressing room not through the wall but as a normal man would, through the door. He only cast one last glance over his shoulder so he might have one last glimpse of a dying fantasy. Christine touched her fingers to her lips sending him off with a kiss. He could smile at the gesture without regret that this would be his last sight of Christine.

Too late it may have come to him that the woman he had already tied himself to was the one he needed most. He had forcibly removed her from his thoughts as he chased a dream. Well now he may well return to a nightmare all due his need to grasp at some elusive dream, a wisp of reality that had left him feeling less than a man time after time.

Why had he let his foolish male pride lead him astray? Erik had a feeling that if Christine had agreed to come with him he would have panicked. He did not now think he could ever share intimacy with another woman. As hard as he tried Pricilla had forced her way into the forefront of his mind. He could see now he had been a jackass of the first order.

Erik's only hope was that Pricilla's kind heart would remain open to his pleas for leniency. If Pricilla demanded he grovel to win her forgiveness Erik felt ready to stay on his knees until they bled, Pricilla deserved no less from him after his callous treatment of her. The next few days would seem like an eternity until he reached his home and the woman who held his heart

**A/N: Well at least he owns up to his failings. Couldn't leave him being a total ass. He has a lot to redeem but we'll get there. This second chapter is a Happy Mother's Day gift from me. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This is in answer to all those who wonder why it took a month for Erik to do his little jaunt. Well even today it would take a few days traveling by car to get from Kentucky to New York, possibly two or three if one made stops. What with meals, overnight stays, and various stops for the horse to rest it would take at least a week or more traveling by horse. Erik didn't avail himself of any overnight stays but would have to stop for a few hours at least to rest himself and the horse. **

**Then Erik didn't immediately go to Christine. He stalked about trying to learn everything he could. Then there would be the trip back. The night after he confronted Christine he did not immediately go home. He stayed in the hotel and well, you'll see what happens. **

**And for all those reviewers I have been remiss in sending personal messages I do apologize but things have been busy here what with testing for this and that on me and now my husband is having surgery on Thursday. This story is sad enough without adding my real life drama. Once they find something or nothing things should get back to normal for me. Writing is my escape from reality. For that small snippet of time real life is set on the back burner to simmer. The saying used to be "Calgon take me away". Well now it is "Gerik take me away".**

**I send a heartfelt thank you to all who do review. Don't ever think each and every one isn't appreciated, because they are. **

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Learn to be Lonely**

Erik had spent the night coming to terms with everything that had taken place. Had he really expected Christine would throw everything away for a life with him? She had a child growing within her. What sort of mother would she be to leave the father of her child, a good man as far as Erik could see, a man who loved her enough to risk being ostracized by his peers because his wife performed on the stage? Would Erik have still thought of her in the same way if she had come to him without considering the ramifications?

Erik's own mother had been only a face and name to him. Never could he recall any motherly love being given to him. A mother who loved her children and stayed with them no matter what life threw her way, Erik placed such a woman on a pedestal. He could not fault Christine's turning him away. He had really not expected anything less from her.

He had known the outcome of this encounter but had needed to hear it spelled out for him clearly. He wanted no ambiguous imaginings haunting him. Now he felt he could put Christine where she belonged. He categorized her as a fond memory of someone who had gotten him through what would otherwise have been a very empty life. Christine had given meaning to a mundane existence. Through teaching her Erik had given his talent to the world in a way he had never thought possible on his own merits.

It did not take long for Erik to think of Pricilla once Christine had been placed where she belonged in his past. Only now did Erik begin to reflect upon how he had left without so much as a word and still had not contacted his wife. Dawning realization of just what he had done sank slowly into his conscious being. He was not a lone person anymore. He had responsibilities and had carelessly thrown them aside to chase a dream.

Having solved one problem Erik felt he may well have created a bigger one. His actions had been callous beyond any forgiveness. Although of a generous nature Pricilla would find it hard to forgive Erik he felt certain. Had he not promised Pricilla not to commit actions that would bring harm to her? He should have included mental and emotional transgressions as well.

Dropping his head into his hands Erik felt the self-pitying sobs working their way up into his throat. What right did he have to shed a tear for himself when he had shed none for Pricilla? Why she had not taken a gun and lodged a bullet in his brain baffled him. Men had been killed for less by a lover who had been slighted in some way.

There were so many things Erik could have done differently but in his usual manner of handling troubling occurrences in his life, Erik acted first then lived with his regrets later. He wanted to go home. Nearly two months and he just now realized he missed his wife and home. Hell he even missed Michael. Loretta and Charlotte he did not know well enough to say he missed them. He did miss Loretta's cheerful greeting as she brought him his first cup of coffee or tea. She seemed to know which beverage he would prefer on any given day.

Erik could now say with all honesty that he had to be the world's worst husband. If he had not gone off in such a hurry he might have discovered another way to put an end to Christine's intrusion in his life. Yes he had needed to severe all connections with her but could he have not done that just the same if he told Pricilla how he felt then asked for her help in the matter? Knowing of his past as she did surely she would want Christine firmly placed where she could not intrude on their daily lives?

As Erik rationalized what he had done he knew that just because he thought himself justified to do what he had, it did not mean that Pricilla would see things in the same light. Considering others and their feelings had not played a major part of Erik's life. What he wanted and the means to get it had been his main concerns. He could see now how selfish he had been. Pricilla as his wife had a right to know how he felt and what decisions he made in his life, after all what affected him affected her.

Knowing he had done wrong did not rectify the situation. Erik could not see Pricilla nor indeed any woman letting an action such as what he had done pass without comment or some negative reaction. Erik had no experience asking for anyone's pardon on any grand scale. Pricilla he felt would be on his list of people he needed to appease for a long time to come. Whatever he had done in the past he had taken the stand that he only did what he had to do to survive. He being who and what he was, he had been allowed to use whatever method came to hand to obtain a small portion of what others had by right.

That old idea did not fit this new life Erik had carved out for himself. His life choices now affected others. As a husband he should have placed his marriage and Pricilla's feelings above even his own. She had read his journal, suffered his outrage and abuse then still forgave him to a certain extent. She had indicated that they could move past his indiscretion as long as nothing similar occurred ever again.

Leaving her without explanation he felt would be his biggest betrayal of all, that and the fact that he had done it so he could encounter a woman who remained the object of his affections. As Erik sat there the clarity concerning his emotional attachment began to unfold before his eyes. Why could this have not happened before he had committed his unpardonable transgression?

Now he could see that the all consuming love he had thought he still carried for Christine had been nothing more than his pride needing to hold onto the belief that Christine would some day come to know that she should have been his all along. As long as he did not come face to face with Christine he could fool himself as well as bolster his flagging ego by believing he still had a chance with Christine.

His pride would lend cold comfort once he returned home. If he crawled back on his hands and knees begging her forgiveness it would be no more than he deserved if she tossed him out of his own home. Returning home with his tale tucked between his legs would be a humiliation but one he would suffer gladly. If she tossed his failure into his face to taunt him it would be no less than he deserved. Pricilla deserved to have a means to salve her pride.

Having finally rid himself of Christine's ghost Erik felt he could finally build a solid foundation with Pricilla if he had not destroyed any chance he might have had with her. Looking at things with this clearer perspective Erik could see that he would not have an easy time of it when he reached home. Pricilla would no doubt be quite angry with him and rightfully so.

He had left her to face the gossiping horde with no thought for her feelings at all. Erik had never had to be held accountable to anyone for his actions before. Whatever struck his fancy he pursued with no notion of how it may or may not affect others.

It had not helped to keep him marginally considerate when all of his demands were being met by everyone from ballet rat to the managers. Guilt had not plagued him as they capitulated to his every whim. Only when Raoul had become involved had things begun to change. With his influence behind the managers they gained courage they would not otherwise have had.

Raoul had been a double edged sword. His advent in Christine's life had freed Erik from his self imposed prison while leaving Erik with a dream that had not played out to the end as it should have. It had not been Raoul's fault that Erik had gone into such a dark world where he let out every demon he possessed to turn things in his favor. Alas it had been those desperate actions that had been the beginning of his losing Christine. Had he ever really had her? No, Christine had never been his, not in any real way. For her Erik had been a gift from her father, an angel sent to help and protect her.

If Gustave Daaé could have known how Erik would use that fairytale he had told to Christine, Gustave would have climbed from his grave to battle the Angel in Hell that pursued his daughter. For all Erik had loved the opera house it had been a prison, a hell of his own making. He had entombed himself within its confines as surely as any jailor would lock him up and throw away the key.

As much as Erik now anticipated going home he also felt trepidation. Things would not be easily settled with Pricilla and everyone else Erik had left wondering where he had gone and why. Erik must bury his pride and do whatever needed to be done to get back into Pricilla's good graces. Erik wanted Pricilla not as he had wanted Christine but in a more real, sane way. Pricilla seemed a real possibility if he had not forever turned her against him.

A knocking at the door startled Erik as he had not expected anyone. Only his agent knew where he had been staying since coming to New York. Erik had ventured out but had kept a low profile as he gathered information about the de Chagny's routine and where they kept a residence.

Erik opened the door prepared to use the dagger resting at the cuff of his sleeve. Erik never went anywhere without being armed with some hidden weapon. The person who stood outside Erik's room literally took Erik's breath from him. Surprise seemed a mild word to describe how he felt. Above all he felt a rare welcoming warmth invade him. If Erik could give a name to what he felt it would be happiness, another rare commodity for Erik. Erik hoped this encounter heralded as a good omen.

**A/N: Anyone up for twenty questions? Perhaps ten as there can only be so many answers with Erik's short list of acquaintances.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Lessons in Love**

Antoinette stared at Erik not believing he really stood in front of her in the doorway to a hotel room like any other man would do. She felt very proud of the steps Erik had taken to climb out of the dark tomb that had been his home since she had taken him into the catacombs underneath the cellars of the L'Opéra Populaire. At the moment though her pride in his accomplishments warred with her anger at his contiuned stupidity. She had expected him to try to contact Christine but not to approach her at the theatre although she should have expected him to do that very thing.

If she had known how deeply Erik would have ngrained that dark underground into his personality she would never have left him down there underneath the opera house for so long. Once he grew into a young man it had been too late to bring him above. His darker side had already begun to take root. He had begun to think and act for himself with selfish abandon. His needs and wants came before anyone else's.

She had lost any control she had on Erik after his first successful demand had been made and met by the manager at the time. Each successive demand had been larger than the one before. Erik had compensated for what he lacked in his life with the power he exerted over everyone under the roof of what he considered his kingdom.

"Well Erik will you not let me come in? Will you have me stand out in the hall like some stranger?" Antoinette tempered the reprimand with a slight smile. She felt mixed emotions at the moment where Erik was concerned. Christine had confided in her about Erik's visit. Christine had felt guilt ridden for having hurt Erik again.

Antoinette had tried to relieve her worry over Erik's reaction to this second rejection from Christine only resulting in a sleepless night for everyone. Christine had confessed to worrying that Erik might try to harm Raoul or take her by force as he had before. Wanting everything out in the open Christine had also told Antoinette of her confusion regarding how she felt about Erik.

It had been clear on stage that night that some sort of chemistry existed between Erik and Christine. Christine had been so young, too young and immature to know how to deal with such passion for a man such as Erik. Everything Erik had drawn from Christine had the contrary result of driving her further away from him.

Taking off her gloves Antoinette played for time. She must protect Christine and Raoul at all costs. Christine had an innocent child to be concerned with now. Antoinette had to make Erik understand he could not continue to pursue Christine. He must relinquish all contact with her for the safety of everyone.

Slapping her gloves in her hand decisively Antoinette posed the question most important to her, even more important than this recent business between Erik and Christine.

"Erik how have you been really? Are you…happy?" Antoinette could never remember a time when Erik had shown any sort of even mild content in all the years of their association. Erik could never be happy with what little he had or appreciate the fact that he had considerably more than many others. The opera had been a cruel mistress at times but also had given Erik many gifts in return for her demands on him.

"Madame, Antoinette I am in the mist of a crisis for which I have only myself to blame, but to answer your question for the most part I have been happy."

"Erik you can't imagine how my heart ached for you. The guilt I felt when I betrayed your trust has not let me rest easily you will be happy to know. You can't know how thrilled I was to receive those few letters from you informing me of your progress."

"Antoinette I have forgiven your trespass against me long ago as I feel most of what happened could be placed squarely upon my shoulders. At the time you were doing what any responsible mother would do, you protected your children from a madman." Erik would not have been able to speak these words of truth just after the disaster but with time and understanding the wrongs he had committed had allowed Erik to admit he had been mentally unstable during that period of his life.

"I am so proud of you Erik. At least I had been until your recent slip back into your old ways. Erik, what possessed you to steal into Christine's dressing room as you did? The risk of doing so put everyone in jeopardy not to mention how highly inappropriate it is for a man to be in the room when a lady undresses but then you never did think rules applied to you did you?

How could you be so selfish? Christine would have been happy to see you if you had gone about things through normal channels. You are no longer the Opera Ghost or Phantom of the Opera. I will not let you fall back into that pit of insanity again.

Did you know that Raoul had men staked out around the whole building? I can only suppose you either slipped in as you used to do or purchased a ticket entering as the rest of us did." Erik assumed Antoinette asked her questions rhetorically as she did not wait for his replies to any of them before continuing her lecturing.

"Erik you frightened Christine terribly. She wondered if you intended to murder her husband in his sleep then steal her away. If you had only waited things could have gone quite differently. Raoul had given his consent for Christine to meet with you should you make your presence known to her. That Erik, is how a gentleman does things. There are rules of decorum everyone must follow, even you Erik.

You wished to be a part of society, well dear boy that includes living by man's rules delineating what is and is not done. I did not save you that night Erik when you were but a boy so that you could live apart from everyone. It has been my greatest hope that you would find your place in this world where you could live happily. Have you found such a place Erik?"

Erik wanted to tell Antoinette everything that he had accomplished but leaving out his recent misconduct. Knowing if he and Antoinette were to get back onto friendly terms again he had to start with a clean slate. He must tell her everything, even his less than gentlemanly treatment of Pricilla. Getting things out into the open Erik hoped Antoinette might lend a hand forming some plan to win Pricilla over once he returned home.

Telling all about himself to anyone had never been something Erik found comfortable. This time he held nothing back. He laid himself open for Antoinette's criticisms. Erik felt as if he cleansed some part of him that had needed to be purged for some time.

Not sparing himself anything Erik told Antoinette everything that had happened since he had left Paris. Some he could rightfully be proud of while other revelations he would have rather kept out of the limelight. He could find not one redeeming factor to disclose about his marriage to Pricilla. Erik wondered if one could even classify what he and Pricilla shared as a marriage at all.

Antoinette did not speak to offer judgment or praise until Erik had finished his recitation. From the look on her face Erik discerned Antoinette found his behavior wanting. He could not blame her if she shouted out her diatribe in angry terms toward him. Erik knew he would deserve every syllable of censure that would fall from her lips.

Contrary to what Erik thought Antoinette did not revile him as one would expect, not that she let him off the hook completely. She did reprimand him strongly for the way he had mistreated Pricilla but no more than he had himself. She had told him that groveling may be required but even that may not be acceptable. It would depend on if Pricilla had any softer feelings remaining or if Erik had killed them all with his ill treatment of her.

Gathering his courage Erik invited Antoinette to come back with him so he might show her all his accomplishments. He let the implication for her aid with winning Pricilla hang unspoken in the air. Erik had only actively pursued one woman and that had not gone well at all.

Antoinette then told Erik that she had not come alone. Meg being only nineteen and having no relatives she could stay with had come with her. Besides, Meg and Christine had been raised as sisters and Meg had wanted to reassure herself of Christine's continued happiness.

Erik did not know Meg personally as he had kept her at a distance as per Antoinette's demands. She did not want her daughter exposed to Erik's criminal acts in case the unthinkable had happened and he had been caught. Antoinette would have been implicated as everyone in the opera house knew she carried notes from the Opera Ghost to the managers.

They would have been all too happy to string her up beside Erik if they had managed to capture their irritating spirit haunting them while making increasingly larger demands of them. Antoinette had felt bad enough that she had let Christine become entangled with Erik with disastrous results.

Erik agreed to Meg accompanying them only if she could withstand being within a few feet of him without screaming out her ever familiar "It's him. He's here, the Phantom of the Opera." Smacking Erik on his arm in a reprimanding gesture, Antoinette confided to Erik that Meg had built his former persona into a romantic hero. Even Erik's less stellar actions she had chosen to see as heroic deeds rather than the actions of a desperately crazed individual.

Antoinette did not play down Erik's exploits. To do so would have been irresponsible. Erik had been a danger to himself and others during that time. She had loved him but had not been blinded by that affection to overlook Erik's criminal activities. In the end that had been the reason she had betrayed Erik, not because she begrudged him pursuing some happiness.

At last when all past misdeeds had been accounted for and pardon granted they came to the agreement Antoinette and Meg would come a few days after Erik returned home so he could attempt to soothe Pricilla and prepare her for company. Erik anticipated Pricilla capitulating quite quickly once he confessed his sorrow for the way he had behaved. Erik's foolish pride that had kept him from contacting Pricilla would play against him as he had no knowledge just how much suffering he had put her through.

Antoinette did not know how wise it would be to spring company on a newlywed, especially one who had justifiable animosity toward her husband. Dear Erik had no idea just what he had done. On some level he knew it had been wrong to leave as he had done but he did not see the full extent of his wrongdoing.

Erik did not heed Antoinette's suggestion that he wire his wife as to his homecoming and that company would be following closely behind him. Not wanting to belittle himself in front of Antoinette any further Erik stoically claimed he had control of everything and everyone in his household. He would not admit to a little shiver of foreboding traveling up and down his spine when he could bring himself to think of facing Pricilla. He chided himself for acting cowardly. After all what could she do? He outweighed her by at least sixty pounds and stood a foot taller. He could handle her.

Shaking her head at Erik's stubborn pride Antoinette went back to Raoul and Christine's townhouse. She informed them of her plans. Meg had remained silent. Antoinette could see the wheels turning in her daughter's head. She would look at this as the perfect opportunity to further her relationship with the elusive Phantom. Antoinette did not have the heart to tell Meg that Erik had married.

Antoinette saw no sense in informing everyone of Erik's marriage when he may have given the woman just cause to kick him out of her life. Antoinette could say with certainty if Erik had been her husband and acted in a similar manner to her, Erik would most likely have gone missing. Foolishly Erik let his pride dictate how he would behave when once he returned home. The future would be quite interesting as far as Antonette could see.

Predictably Raoul protested two women under his care should place themselves in danger. He did not yet accept that Erik had changed at all. Had he not once again stolen into Christine's private quarters seeking to lure her away? Only Antoinette's assurances that at least two other people would be occupying Erik's home along with them had cooled Raoul's agitation. Christine tried to further reassure him by telling him she had seen a difference in Erik's demeanor. He had been insistent but not insanely so. He had presented himself as a sane and rational man. Christine edited her memory of the event somewhat so Raoul would not worry so. The lines about his eyes and mouth should not run so deep in a man his age.

Erik and Antoinette met for breakfast the next day to finalize everything. Meg had insisted on joining them. During the meal Meg unsettled him when he chanced to catch her eye. She gave him far too much attention. Erik felt like a specimen under the microscope. Erik did not care for the sly smile crossing Meg's face. When had she grown into a woman?

Shaking off Meg's unnerving study Erik wished them both a safe journey as he took his leave of them. Erik's spirits lifted considerably just knowing he would reach home in a couple of days if the weather continued to be clear. He would do as he had on the trip to New York, only stop and sleep when necessity forced him to do so.

An unexpected thrill of what he thought to be excitement traveled throughout Erik instilling new vigor into his flagging confidence where Pricilla was concerned. Pricilla's face took up residence in his mind and would not leave him. For once Erik did not mind having Pricilla's image accompanying him on his journey. He let his imagination have free reign. Now if he could just convince Pricilla that they belonged together things just might come out with a happy ending for once in Erik's life.

**A/N: Won't be easy. Nope not at all easy. To all who are reviewing I thank you. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

**We Can't Go Back**

Erik felt very weary by the time he arrived in the courtyard at the front of his house. Wearily he looked around taking notice of some very big changes. The front of the house now had many flowering bushes and plants. The fountain in the front now pumped water merrily as someone had taken on the chore of cleaning it.

The most notable difference Erik could see were the two large sized cottages a short distance from the stables. If he was not mistaken the horses tied out front belonged to two of the young men Erik hired when he needed help.

His front door had been painted in his absence. It now gleamed a pearly white. The solid glass had been replaced by a pane divided into diamond shapes framed by mitered pieces of wood giving the impression of framed artwork. It would seem Pricilla had been making improvements in hi absence. He felt to weary to think about whether or not he objected to her changing things or if he had any right to any objections at all.

His hand had only just touched the handle to the front door when he felt it jerked out from his hand. Startled Erik peered at the woman before him taken aback by her glare of dislike. Loretta bade him to come in as if this was not his home any longer. Her cold scowl held no welcome whatsoever. As much as he had expected this attitude he could not say he liked it.

Pricilla had seen the rider approaching from the front parlor window. She had been sitting at her little writing desk going over the books for the expences for the last month. She could not bear to sit at the same desk Erik had sat in doing what she now did at her little desk. When her mind told her that her eyes were not seeing only what she had sat at this very window hoping to see for over a month, Pricilla's instant of joy had been quickly buried by all the events that had taken place in Erik's absence. Not one word had come from him in nearly two months.

At first Pricilla had convinced herself Erik would realize he had made a mistake and turn around to return to her. After a week she told herself he had reached New York but would only stay long enough to rest then come home. He would surely send her word at least letting her know of his safe arrival the send word about his return.

A week then two passed as she waited as her spirits sunk lower than they had ever been in her life. She could not eat and did not care to take care of herself. All that mattered was that she wait at the window so she could see when Erik came home.

Mac had tried, bless him to take her out of the pit into hell she had dug for herself. She fought him every step of the way. When she had become ill only to find that Erik had left her with his child growing inside of her, Pricilla had been ecstatic. When Erik came home she would have this wonderful gift to bestow on him. He would have to care for her even if only as the mother of his child.

Pricilla's lip quivered as she recalled that morning everything had descended into the deepest pit of hell. The loss of her child had left Pricilla even more depressed. She felt hollow. The one thing she had been told she could do well had not been meant to be. Pricilla had felt useless as a woman and human being. She could not keep her husband at her side, now her body refused to even nestle an innocent child. What good could she be to anyone?

It had been Mac who had brought Pricilla back from the brink of insanity. She had all but given up but Mac would not let her do this to herself. Every day he had come forcing spoonful after spoonful of food and water into her unwilling mouth. She had spit at him, clawed at him and cursed him into hell yet still he would not abandon her.

She refused to see even Charlotte. Locking herself away in her room kept the world of reality at bay. Pricilla preferred her own make-believe world she found in sleep or staring out the window at nothing. Mac being the caring person he was would not let her slip away. After two visits when Pricilla had turned him away the third day he broke the door down splintering the wood as it were made of match sticks.

That day he had picked up her filthy body and dumped her into the water he had thrown her in her bath clothes and all. Pricilla had furiously shouted at him. Climbing out of the tub she had begun to throw anything small enough for her to pick up and hurl at his ducking head.

Only when Pricilla had realized she had been railing at Erik, shouting those curses at him and not Mac had her anger turned to sobbing tears. At last Pricilla had been able to release her inner anger and pain directed toward the man who deserved them. None of the people she had been fighting against were the one she had really needed to direct her anger toward. Once she had shed her last tear she had been ready to face the world again. If she had a harder shell than before it served to protect her from futher pain.

Everyone noted the change in Pricilla. Her eyes did not shine with kindness. Her smile no longer spread across her face in welcome. Withering coldness had spread into every place where once only goodness had dwelled. Now only bitterness and cynical observations came from Pricilla's lips. Only with Charlotte and Mac did she display anything approaching cordiality.

They all agreed that it was as if a light had been extinguished inside of Pricilla. She showed not one iota of her former gentle nature. Only with the horses did Pricilla let any of her more tender hearted self shine through. Animals did not betray you. They loved you no matter what circumstance you found yourself in or what your outer appearance displayed. If you were kind and loving toward them the love and adoration you received back could not be matched.

Now her husband had returned. For what purpose she did not know. She cursed those feelings rising up within her. He did not deserve anything from her once tender heart. All she would show him now would come from the frozen wasteland her heart had become.

Loretta led Erik into the parlor as if he were a mere guest. Pricilla stood facing the door with her hands folded sedately in front of her. The change in her appearance startled Erik. Gone was any hint of the spinster clothing she had worn before. She wore a light gossamer thin outer dress slipped over several other layers of the same material. The light blue color matched her eyes. Gone was her braid that she once wrapped several times around her head in tight coils with the coils at the side resembling earmuffs. Now she wore it in a style similar to what the Grecian women wore. Long tendrils caressed her neck and nearly bared shoulders. Her bosoms were corseted so tightly as to form a deep tempting cleavage.

Erik could barely swallow as he took in the change in his wife. Only when he got to her eyes did he see that her outer self had not been the only part of her to go through a change. Erik encountered only coldness there, where only shy invitation had been before.

"Welcome home Erik. Please come in and have a seat. You must be tired after such a long journey. Loretta, see that Mr. Dante's room is made ready. Have Cora bring in a pot of tea and a plate of sandwiches. Send Mark to town with a message to Mac that I won't be able to keep our riding date today as my husband has managed to find his way home. We must celebrate the event. Please plan something special for this evenings repast." Not a hint of Pricilla's former shyness could be heard or seen as she handed out orders as if accustomed to doing just that all her life.

Erik took the seat that would give him the best vantage point for observing Pricilla. It was as if a different woman had taken her place, one with only a slight resemblance to how his wife had looked when he had left.

Erik questioned himself as to whether he had done this to her. Granted her outward appearance would make any man proud to stand by her side but Erik did not care for the cold inner woman sitting before him. He had expected a certain amount of animosity toward him but not this through and through bitter coldness.

"So Erik, tell me did you find what you were looking for, who you went to see? Will she be coming to oust me from my home? A lot has happened since you left Erik. Make no mistake, this is my home now and I will not let go of it for you or anyone else. I have set in motion our divorce papers on the grounds of abandonment."

Pricilla felt pleased at Erik's start of surprise at her statement. If he expected to simply waltz back in and pick where he had left off he could think again. She'd not be his or anyone elses doormat again.

When Erik would have spoken Pricilla spoke over his first utterance.

"Let me tell you I would rather you had simply died. It would have not been nearly as embarrassing as having everyone know you deserted me. Those vicious cats in town could not wait to begin spreading our business around town. If not for Charlotte, Michael and Loretta I don't know how I would have coped. And then of course there was my dear friend Mac." As her emotions threatened to get the better of her despite her newfound confidence, Pricilla thought it best to let Erik speak before she made a fool of herself.

Erik felt his face flushing as Pricilla continued to look stoically back at him. Antoinette had advised him to get everything out in the open and Erik had been going to do that. This new cold hearted creature in front of him did not give him the impression she cared particularly about any explanations from him.

"Things went as I expected they would." Erik abruptly stood to go over to the window to peer out at his property. He turned to ask inconsequentially, "Who is living in the two new cottages? I have noticed other changes. What more will I learn that has changed?" Erik hoped she guessed that one of the changes of particular interest involved her.

So Erik wished to play cat and mouse. Well he would soon learn Pricilla no longer fit the role of mouse. She now was the stalking cat hunting for prey to shred at will.

"Come Erik surely you have more to say about someone you deserted your wife to pursue? Oh dear me, was she not willing to desert her husband so readily as you shed your newly acquired wife? Could you not measure up to Raoul yet again? Poor Erik, an albatross tied around his neck while the dove flies further and further away.

It was quite careless of you to leave the paper on the floor in your music room. I suppose you were too distraught to care about such things. Erik, please tell me, for I really must know, was I only some means to assuage a desire for another woman, for this Christine person?

I have seen her picture. It must have been hard for you to put her face in your mind knowing it was only poor pathetic and plain Pricilla who had been available when you found yourself in need of a woman. Is that what the mannequin had been for Erik? Did you caress the hard coldness as you imagined yourself making love to Christine?

Did you come to me in lieu of your cold lover as you had destroyed her? I should hope you brought her more pleasure in New York than you gave to me. You left me wanting Erik, like a young inexperienced boy. If that is how you loved your precious Christine I do not need to wonder how she could choose Raoul over you. Perhaps his bed afforded her the release you could not give."

Pricilla wanted to stop this but once the poison had begun to spill forth she could not stem the flow. Every hateful thing she could imagine spewed out with vociferous eagerness. Never would she have wanted to hurt anyone with words or deeds before she met Erik. Erik had been a catalyst releasing years of pent-up repression. Every hurt or unkindness ever perpetrated against Pricilla Erik suffered her poisonous venom in retaliation.

Erik's anger had come to the boiling point. Clenching his fists Erik strode toward Pricilla. Later when he had calmed himself he would wonder and hope that his only intent had been to shake Pricilla a little to bring her to her senses. Something very evil and vindictive had taken possession of his once sweet wife.

Pulling out a small pistol Pricilla warned coldly, "Not another step Erik. I really must thank you for giving me the strength to stand on my own two feet in the face of a force stronger than I. This little beauty is courtesy of Mac." Pricilla caressed her hand over the little derringer Mac had given to her as protection. Women alone were vulnerable to attacks.

Pointing the derringer in his direction Pricilla continued, "I suppose I will leave you to enjoy your meal. Tell Loretta I have gone for a ride and not to wait supper. I probably won't be back until dark. If you wish to know what has been taking place in your absence you may have a look at my books. Everything is there clearly explained.

Please be so kind as not to mess up my files. It took me ages to straighten the horrible mess you had made of them." Without so much as a curtsy Pricilla sailed past Erik only wanting to put distance between them again. She hated the fear he had brought back with every step closer he had taken. The gun had been in her hand before she had even thought of its presence in her pocket. Whether she would have been able to use it against Erik if he had done some violence to her, Pricilla did not know for certain.

Pricilla saddled her own mount, a newly acquired mare, Grey Lady. Mark had gone to town but Nick hovered around in the background of the stable. He had seen Erik ride in. There was no mistaking Midnight Dream. Mark and Nick did not know any of the particulars of what had gone on between Erik and Pricilla and they did not wish to know unless either of the parties involved needed a willing ear.

"Nick see to Erik's horse. Take special care with him. He has had a long hard journey." Pricilla tossed this instruction over her shoulder as she urged Grey Lady into a canter until she could give Grey Lady her head. This ritual of racing across the hills had become a favorite for beast and woman alike. The wind whipping past them felt as if they were being freed from some unseen restraint. For Pricilla it had the added benefit of allowing her to outrun her memories for a short time.

Pricilla had not wanted to care at all if Erik returned or not. She had worked diligently to remove him from her heart and mind and had thought she had been successful. All it had taken was for him to return facing her with his impressive bearing to have everything rushing back as if her heart had only today been ripped apart by his careless regard.

She had accepted that Erik cared nothing for her. All of Pricilla's optimism had been crushed the moment she had accepted Erik would not be coming back to her. He cared not even a little for her feelings or welfare. A speck of dirt on his lapel would garner more consideration than her pitiful offerings of love and devotion.

Pricilla had not loved Erik but had been on her way to having such notions about him. He had been winning favor with her. Even in those first days after he had gone Pricilla had kept believing he could not take her to his bed without wishing to make some sort of effort to solidify what they had been building over the few weeks of their marriage.

When Pricilla could no longer convince even herself of Erik's return or that he cared even a little she had been so devastated she had retreated inward where nothing could reach her, no one would hurt her ever again. She had shed the shell of her former self to replace her with a harder less caring individual. To care leant one to all manner of pain. Better to feel nothing at all than risk feeling even a smidgen of regard for anyone. Caring opened the door to untold agonies so Pricilla had closed off every avenue leading to her heart. Only with the horses did anyone see a glimmer of her former generous and loving nature.

As Pricilla raced across hill after hill she reinforced her will against feeling anything for anyone, especially Erik. It had not helped that only yesterday Charlotte had told Pricilla that she and Michael were expecting. Upon hearing the news Pricilla had felt near collapse as she had congratulated her cousin. Her mind screamed in pain as her chest twisted with the agony of her own loss.

Grey Lady had taken the path she knew her mistress would want to take. Their rides always ended the same. No matter in which direction they headed eventually they ended up in this copse of trees with the little brook rippling past lending a soothing repetitious sound behind as the water moved past this now sacred place.

Pricilla dismounted dropping the reins with no concern that Grey Lady would stray. Kneeling down, not caring if the grass stained the skirt of her riding habit Pricilla closed her eyes against the grief that threatened to overwhelm her once more. With tears streaming down her face Pricilla tenderly removed grass and debris from the small area where her child would have rested if there had been anything to place in the ground. Her child had not even been far enough along to know if she carried a boy or a girl. Everyone told her it was better this way, to have a body to place in the ground would make the loss all the more difficult. Pricilla had never faced such grief before. Her parent's deaths she had been prepared for.

How does one prepare for the loss of a child, one that had only been a vision in your mind for a matter of weeks before being ripped unceremoniously from your body? No one could give her a reason why her child had been taken.

Not having any better idea of why God would do something so cruel Pricilla had to conclude that God had not wanted her to bring an innocent child into the mess of her life at this time. Pricilla could only think it had been a fault of her own making that had cost her a child she would have welcomed with loving arms. It had driven her nearly mad trying to find an answer as to what more she could have done to keep her marriage from falling apart. What wrong had she committed that Erik had been able to treat her so callously? In the end Pricilla had blamed her own inadequacies for her failure to win even some minimal regard from Erik.

When that notion had taken root Pricilla had set about eradicating her former self. She had wanted nothing of that woman left behind. And so Pricilla had locked away her tender heart. She would let nothing sway her into any tender feelings other than those poor creatures who served their masters proudly expecting loving care but not always getting it.

Animals Pricilla concluded gave freely of themselves once their trust had been gained. Even cruelty would be suffered with a lick on the tormentor's hand once that loyalty had been earned. Pricilla would not align herself in comparison to a dumb animal. Never would she offer her heart only to have it trampled under unthinking feet. She most assuredly would not pay homage to the hand which would strike her with cruel blows.

Smoothing her hand over the dirt Pricilla sent her silent words of love to the child who now resided back in God's hands. Grass would never take root in this little spot as Pricilla visited daily rubbing the soil as she picked away any intrusive bits that blew over the small marked empty grave. There had been no headstone placed to mark the grave, only a large rock had been settled there. Her child had not even been given a name to carry with him to heaven other than Lost Little Angel.

Erik's ill-treatment of her perhaps in time she could have forgiven him. Loving another Pricilla might have accepted as Erik had had a life before marrying her. Having unsatisfactory marital relations she would have born with stoicism. Everything she would have found a way to bear. Only the loss of her child while Erik chased after some impossible dream Pricilla could not forgive. She could not set aside the hatred of that unpardonable crime against her and their child.

If Pricilla could make Erik suffer even half as much as she had, she would do so gladly. Perhaps if she could inflict some wound deep enough the venom she held in her heart could seep out leaving her with a less cynical outlook on life.

Pricilla vowed Erik would find no meek shy maiden in his wife. She would now face him eye to eye, cruelty to cruelty, wound for wound. A battle had been silently declared. Pricilla had pitted herself against an adversary who had been known as the Angle of Death, The Devil's Child, a ghost and phantom with the power to rule a whole opera house. A murderer and purveyor of all manner of sadistic acts upon the unwary. Erik had unknown to her, been a very cruel unfeeling person in his former life. She did not know the extent of Erik's heinous crimes nor did she realize the dangerous undercurrents barely hidden under the surface that she called from Erik's darkest corners of his own private hell. She would unleash the persona Erik had struggled to bury over these last two years.

God save them if ever Erik lost the thin veneer of civilized man he had cultivated hoping to eradicate his former demon forever.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Thrust and Parry **

Pricilla had remained away from the home until after dark as she had predicted. Erik had felt like a schoolboy reprimanded by the schoolmaster as Pricilla had said all she needed to then left him to his own devices. She had not even given him a chance to defend or explain his actions even if he had been able to find the right words. Antoinette's admonishing words had left Erik with the impression forgiveness may not come easily if at all.

Loretta had slammed his plate before him as he sat at the head of the table feeling unwelcome in his own home. Pricilla had not given Erik any answers to the questions ready to fall from his tongue only to remain silent as she had upbraided him while raising his own anger at her words. Later he had thought himself lucky that she had removed herself from his presence. That had prevented him from digging the pit he was now in any deeper.

He admitted she had justification to feel as she did but that acknowledgment did not make it any more palatable. Perhaps now that she had expelled some of her anger they might be able to speak without tearing one another apart.

He had come back with unrealistic hopes he now realized. If the roles had been reversed Erik felt Pricilla would have fared far worse than he had at her hands. He would let this one transgression pass due to his own less than admirable conduct. If anyone had told Erik he was an arrogant bastard for the way he thought and acted he would have angrily denied any such thing while on some level knowing the truth.

Erik soon learned that Pricilla wanted nothing to do with any explanations or pleas for understanding. She had closed herself off from him as if a brick wall had been erected. She did explain the new changes that had taken place during his absence. Business matters she would discuss with enthusiasm. If Erik could claim nothing else it was perserverance. He would have his say then proceed in his quest to reclaim his wife's favorable regard.

Being used to waiting for things he wanted Erik surmised he could outlast Pricilla's attitude toward him. All he needed was a little patience. That not being a long suit of his regardless of having waited for most things in his life, Erik hoped to use his persuasive powers to his advantage. He would never seduce Pricilla using that method but saw no harm in currying favor as and how he could.

Not having a man to do what needed taking care of Pricilla had hired Mark and Nick Hammond, two brothers working to earn money so they could purchase small plots of land one lot at a time. They were at every land sale hoping to pick up some of the smaller farms. They had nearly seventy-five acres at the moment with no improvements as of yet. Time and hard work would take care of that. Erik had used them in the past so he trusted they had not taken advantage of his wife during his absence.

Pricilla had offered them a permanent position for as long as they needed the income. Two cottages had been built to afford them privacy and to allow them to stay on the premises rather than travel back and forth every day. Wtih the extra space they would have room for a wife if they acquired one before their own property could be made ready.

A few new mares had also been bought at auction. Pricilla's own mare, Grey Lady being the crownpiece of the lot. Her breeding was impeccable. Erik had been after her owner to purchase her but the man had claimed he had not been interested in selling. Pricilla had visited the man at his horse farm and had sealed the deal within half a day's time. Mark and Nick, along with Loretta, had gone with Pricilla for the sake of propriety. Erik did not care for those two handsome men being in Pricilla's presence especially when he remembered how she had doted on them when they would come to work. He may trust them with with his property but not his wife.

Other changes were concerning the growing of their own hay and a couple of new barns further a-field to store it. Pricilla had even had a rake and bailer shipped to her. This new enterprise would soon pay for itself when the new barns were filled with newly baled hay. Pricilla had even made a deal with a fellow a few farms over to exchange any unneeded hay for the grain the man would not need. He shipped a certain amount at the end of growing season in a grain car of the train but always had enough to fill his own grain bins with a goodly amount left over.

Erik could appreciate the improvements Pricilla had made but still resent that she had accomplished them without his assistance. Of course logically he understood that life had gone on in his absense. The business of life had not stopped to accomodate his idiocy. With every day that passed Erik realized just all he had put at risk.

Erik began to feel superfluous in his own home. Mark and Nick who would once have referred to him for instructions now looked to Pricilla for their daily scheduling. Erik could admire Pricilla's newfound confidence while deploring the fact that it made her need him even less than before.

If Erik had thought he and Pricilla might have discussions during meals or even during quiet companionable evenings he had been grossly over confident of what he could control. Pricilla thwarted every attempt he made to begin their much needed discussion about what he had done. Erik's temper never far from the surface begain to boil to the top.

Every night she either went to bed early, had a previous dinner engagement in town or some other vague plans for her time. Erik had gone into town a couple of days after his return to be met with reserved welcome from both Michael and Charlotte. Charlotte he could understand but he had thought Michael would at least inquire as to why he had left and listen to his explanation. The topic had been avoided altogether leaving Erik uneasy. Why did no one see his need to reveal his reasons for leaving?

The few times Dr. Macleod had come to either pick Pricilla up for some activity in town or join her for a ride, the man had made no bones about his dislike for Erik. Before there had been mere dislike now Erik felt a real malevolence toward him coming from Mr. Macleod. Matters were made worse as everyone in town speculated about the relationship between Pricilla and Mac. Their relationship was highly improper to say the least.

Erik had not even had the chance to inform Pricilla that they would be having company. Of course that may have been due to his cowadice as he could have made the statement that they were going to be having guests even if he had to shout it at Pricilla's retreating back. Now it had gone past the point for any need to break the news to Pricilla. Antoinette and Meg would be arriving by train tomorrow afternoon. Erik did not care to think what these two additional females would do to his life. The one he had tied himself to had him stomping about in agitation daily.

It had not helped matters that Pricilla's new attractions had drawn Erik's notice. He could not help wanting to attack Dr. Macleod every time he entered his home. Erik repressed his desire to drag Pricilla to his room and have his way with her just barely. It did cross his mind to lock her away then inform Dr. Macleod that she had left for greener pastures. Knowing the good doctor would neither believe nor accept such an announcement kept Erik from committing that insanity.

Erik could not help but notice that the more he fell under Pricilla's spell the less she seemed to care to have anything whatsoever to do with him. Hoping that having guests, female guests would smooth things between them Erik took the buggy to town once again forgetting he had someone who he should consult or at least inform of guests that he would be bringing into their home. This time Erik did not deliberately ignore any obligation to Pricilla, he merely did not know the significance his wife would infer from these two women arriving which Erik had seemingly kept secret from her. Erik would hopefully learn soon that when married one must confer with their spouse about matters of inviting guests and other lesser important matters as well.

Arriving in town shortly before the train Erik paced back and forth across the wooden platform. His boots stomped out a rhythm speaking of his nervousness. Erik wanted Antoinette and Pricilla to like one another. He considered Antoinette to be as close to family as he had.

The trains whistle announced the arrival of the noon train. Erik looked about the station relieved there were not many people about. He did not want rumors to spread about town before he could introduce Antoinette and Meg.

The train came to a rolling stop eliciting a stream of steam as the whistle blew once more. Passenger were being helped down the steps by the conductor. Erik stepped forward when he saw Antoinette hesitate as she looked up and down the area immediately in front of her. Perhaps she thought he had changed his mind? It had entered his thought processes over the last couple of days that this may not have been an opportune time to bring guests into his home. The situation between himself and Pricilla could not even claim to be cordial. A cease fire in an undeclared war would describe Pricilla's attitude of late.

Antoinette gave Erik a relieved smile once she spied him coming toward her. As she stepped down Meg quickly followed. Only after a quick greeting for Antoinette and Meg, Erik paid a steward to bring his guests luggage to his buggy. He sighed gratefully when the man only brought two small trunks and two smaller pieces of luggage. One piece more and he would have need of another trip to town.

He settled onto the seat a little disconcerted that Meg took the seat next to him. They were shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip of necessity as the seat accommodated three but only if pressed closely together. Megs shy under browed glances and shy smiles reminded Erik of how Pricilla had been when he first met her. He could honestly say he did miss his wife's shy demeanor. He could not deal calmly with the new woman who had taken his wife's place.

Antoinette asked him questions about Pricilla and his property. Erik proudly listed his possessions as well as the newest improvements giving credit to his wife for the recent growth of the property. Pricilla he found it harder to speak about. Once he started though he found himself unable to stop. By the end of his speech Antoinette knew more about Pricilla than she knew about people she had known for years.

Loretta had seen the buggy coming down the drive before anyone else as she had been on the front veranda watering the plants. She pursed her lips angrily as Erik had once again disappeared without so much as a peep. For all Pricilla pretended not to care a whit what the man did she had gone pale when told Erik had left the house before breakfast. Pricilla had raced up the stairs to head straight for Erik's room. She had nearly collapsed when she saw all his personal items still on his sink and on his dresser. His luggage still resided on the top shelf of his closet.

Pricilla had flattened her hands over her mouth to stifle the sobs she had not wanted to come but come they did burning her throat and eyes with their intensity. Pricilla berated herself for this weak show of emotion for a man who cared nothing for her. Everything he had done to her and she still cared for the beast. Resolutely she had dried her tears then forced herself to head to Erik's study. She would not let his memory chase her from any room ever again nor let herself fear having him join her in any room. She would be strong. If she tried hard enough this stupid emotion could be buried underneath anger and indifference if one could remain indifferent while burning with anger and resentment and regrettably love.

Erik stopped the buggy just in front of his home. Proudly he waited for Antoinette's reaction. When it came it was all he could have hoped for. Erik beamed under her praise. To have her approval had been something he had not known he needed until now. To have her think highly of him gave him more satisfaction than almost anything else he could think of at this moment.

Bringing Antoinette into his home for him was tantamount to bringing a mother figurehead in to show off his accomplishments. Antoinette did not disappoint him in her praise of all his possessions and how far he had come from that boy she had rescued from certain death all those years ago.

Before Erik could invite Antoinette and Meg into the salon Pricilla's voice coming from the top of the stairs drew Erik's attention. Any pleasant emotions Erik had been feeling quickly turned to discomfort when he saw clearly Pricilla found this intrusion distasteful. Perhaps he should have heeded Antoinette's advice after all.

"Erik you did not tell me you would be bringing guests. This is quite rude even for you. Ladies you must forgive me if I sound unwelcoming. Erik has only just returned from haring off after one woman now he brings two into my home. If he was to bring anyone here I would have guessed it would have been the love of his life, Christine Daaé, his oh so talented and angelic pupil." Pricilla could not stop the acidic tone of her voice. The emphasis she placed on certain words inferred that Erik had brought home not ladies at all but females of a less innocent virtue.

Erik admired Pricilla even as her words displeased him. She had outdone herself today. She had surrounded herself all in lace with silky underskirts. She seemed to float down the stairs looking like some white and blue cloud plucked from the sky. A darker blue ribbon had been threaded through the lace at her wrists and neck. A wide band of the same color ribbon tied around her middle emphasized her small waist. In an unusual defiance for propriety her hair had been left hanging down drawn to hang over her right shoulder. A mixture of both colors of ribbon adorned her hair. If they had been alone Erik would have been hard pressed not to show Pricilla just what she did to him looking as she did at this moment. In fact ever since Erik had returned Pricilla had been a woman much different from the one he had left. Of the differences some he liked and some he did not. He disliked her coldness toward almost everyone especially how she acted toward him.

"Erik you have told her about Christine?" Antoinette had thought Erik would never speak of Christine to another living soul. As she posed the question in French Pricilla could not understand but a few words. Not enough to make any sense of the question.

"Madame…Antoinette I did not disclose anything to her. Unfortunately my wife read my journal which should have remained private but alas her snooping enlightened her about me, giving her more information than she had bargained for." Erik answered the question in English as he wanted to needle Pricilla by accusing her of snooping. This newly discovered attraction for his wife would end in frustration so Erik thought he might as well get a little satisfaction in the only way open to him.

"Erik you should not speak of your wife in this way in the precense of others," Antoinette scolded Erik. She cast Pricilla a friendly glance hoping to make amends for descending on her reluctant hostess without warning.

"Maman Erik is right. A woman, a wife should allow her husband his privacy. If I were to have such a husband I would not concern myself with things that were private matters." Meg, although shy in Erik's presence had seen an opportunity to gain favor in his eyes so she had jumped at the chance. Coyly she cast Erik a tentative smile.

Pricilla fumed as she had to stand by while one woman spoke to her husband in a language she could not understand and the younger one flirted outrageously with Erik as if his wife was not even in the room. Whoever this Meg person was she had spoken in fairly good English Pricilla suspected just so that Pricilla would know exactly how she felt about Erik.

And Erik, that _man_, if she was not mistaken, he seemed to be preening under that young hussy's coy come-hither look. Pricilla wanted to smack them all then send the two intruders packing. Pricilla patted herself on the back for having the forethought to invite Mac to supper this evening. At least he would not ignore her as Erik might now that he had begun his harem.

When Erik informed her his guests were staying longer than it took to drink tea she fumed at his lack of respect for her as his wife. This she felt to be only one more thing to add to the growing list of things she held Erik accountable for.

Stepping over to the bell pull that would set off a bell in the kitchen, Pricilla waited for Loretta and Cora to join them so she could have them show their guests to their rooms. She wished she could be rude enough to inform the ladies that carrying their luggage upstairs would be a task they had to manage themselves.

Loretta answered Pricilla's summons. Pricilla told her to send Cora out to fetch Mark and Nick. They were to bring in the luggage of Erik's guests. When she returned she was to escort them to the rooms just down the hall from her own room. Pricilla apologized for the state of the rooms with no real apologetic tone at all. When the ladies had refreshed themselves high tea would be served in the parlor leading to the gardens. When they were ready to come down they need only ring the bell and someone would escort them down. While they were partaking of tea Loretta and Cora would make the rooms habitable.

Erik stared at Pricilla's retreating back. After she had delivered her instructions and made sure they would be carried out she had excused herself leaving Erik to tend to his guests on his own. Erik clearly deduced from this lack of etiquette that Pricilla did not welcome Antoinette and Meg into her home.

Trying to cover for his wife's lack of manners Erik graciously invited his guests into his parlor. About now a strong whisky might be welcomed by all of them. Erik knew he could down a couple with gusto.

This new Pricilla both attracted Erik while at the same time annoyed him. She now seemed untouchable and unapproachable. Both things were red flags for Erik. What he couldn't have he wanted with a greater verve than that which was easily attainable. Perhaps that had been one of the lures in his pursuit of Christine.

All the while he and Antoinette caught up on events that had happened in their time apart Erik could not keep the image of Pricilla from his mind. Meg he felt certain was flirting with him and he did not know how he felt about that. Flattered certainly but beyond that he did not at present wish to delve into it too deeply. He wanted to focus on his wife and her newly gained confidence and allure.

It had not escaped Erik's notice that in his absence Dr. Macleod had made himself available to his wife. The question on Erik's mind was how close they had gotten. Did Pricilla and the good doctor only share a friendship or had their relationship gone further? Erik did not like the surge of jealousy streaking through him at the thought of his wife and the doctor sharing intimacies that rightfully should only belong to him. He could not help the reminder of his recent attempt at a dalliance with Christine. Did Pricilla not have the same right to pursue her pleasure if Erik did the same with someone else?

Erik's mind shouted "hell no!" What was his was for him alone no matter what adulterous actions he had intended to take or not take. Erik tried to convince himself he would not have done anything more than live as a companion to Christine if she had come with him. What he would have done with Pricilla when he brought another woman into his home he had not really planned that far ahead. Erik's objective had not been as clear in his mind as he had at first thought. Now everything seemed all jumbled up with nothing remaining clear to him.

He could not recall if he had plans of sharing intimacies with Christine or not. Had it been his intent only to bring Christine to his home so they could learn all those intimate details about one another that Erik should have shared with Christine before he had let his insanity claim him? Where in all of this had he planned to place Pricilla?

As Erik listened to Antoinette chastise Meg for being so forward, he tried to rationalize his actions. Even he could see the impossibility of one woman welcoming another of her husband's discarded lovers into her home, except Christine had not been the rejected one which made matters worse. Nor had they been lovers.

Mentally Erik pounded his head with his clenched fists as clarity of the situation came too late. He had let his need for acceptance rule him, when he should have stepped back and looked at everything with a clearer head. He could have taken steps to see Christine without using his old method of sneaking in through trapdoors or panels in the walls. Having spoken with her Erik felt certain she would have agreed to meet with him if he had gone through normal channels. Apparently Erik had not progressed as far as he had thought. Old habits died hard would be a phrase Erik would become familiar with over time if he had not already.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you to all who sent private messages or made a mention in a review about my husgands surgery. He came through fine. He will have a few months of therapy as well as overcoming the pain but in the end will have relief from the constant pain from before and he will regain a lot of mobility in his neck. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. **

**I go in tomorrow for my oral surgery. I can say with all honesty it scares the hell out of me even though I know it won't be as bad as my imagination makes it seem. I hate the thought of needles and knives approaching me in any way, shape or form. To have them coming at me while awake and aware is even more stressful. I'll get through it as I know it is something that must be done. I just keep quoting "and this too shall pass". **

**A/N: I edited this a second time after posting as a little of it seemed confusing when I read it after posting. I think I corrected my mistakes.**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Pursuit of Pricilla**

Predictably when Michael and Charlotte caught wind of his female guests they could not contain their curiosity or their irritation with Erik. Erik assumed it had been the oh so handsome "Mac" who had informed Michael of Erik and Pricilla's guests. For the cost of a piece of rope Erik would strangle the dear doctor quite happily.

After Michael's initial showing of disapproval he had taken Erik into his study leaving Charlotte alone to fume about Erik's thoughtlessness. She had wanted him to bring Pricilla to visit but Erik could not as Pricilla had gone riding with the doctor. He had left Antoinette and Meg to rest for the day while he visited with his friend Michael and his not so friendly wife Charlotte. Antoinette had given Erik a lot to think about after Pricilla had left.

She had not spared him anything. By the time she had finished any pride Erik had been feeling earlier had been shoved under the rug as Antoinette continued to impart a few home truths to him. He could not even say he disagreed with anything she had said. Where had Madame's wisdom been when he had been behaving like a lunatic?

His visit to Michael had helped him see things a little clearer as Michael had given Erik some sound advice. He had recommended that Erik put his ego in the closet while he courted his wife in a manner that had been denied her because of the circumstances of their contract. Not wanting to belittle himself further Erik wondered how one wooed a woman who was already your wife. Did that not mean the man had already won the prize?

Erik and Pricilla's marriage had been somewhat clinical and devoid of any romantic trappings. He had seen how that might be a sore point with a woman. He had not made the rules of this game, Michael and others had that pleasure. For every important thing in his life Erik had been in control since he had left the fair's imprisoning cage. He had only added more to an already stressful situation by stupidly believing his actions in pursuing Christine were justified.

Mac had been invited to dinner the night Erik had returned but an emergency had kept him from coming. Erik could not say he regretted the loss of the good doctor's company. Pricilla had been coldly off-putting during the evening meal the night before. She had warmed a little toward Antoinette and Meg while sending looks filled with glaciers toward him.

The very next day Pricilla's doctor friend had arrived giving Erik what he felt sure must be a heart attack or heartburn at the very least as his chest had felt tightly bound by some invisible constricting band. The longer Erik had to sit and watch as "Mac" charmed his wife and guests the tighter the band had been drawn. It had to be an attack of some sort on his heart as Erik would not concede to feeling anything else. His pride forbade it.

Meg had given the doctor a few shy glances during the brief conversation. It had irritated Erik only because his ego needed that extra boost Meg's admiration gave him. Pricilla hardly spoke to Erik and then only if forced to do so. Breakfast had been eaten in stony silence. If Pricilla had been any colder Erik thought he might have ice forming on his extremities if in her presence for any extended length of time.

When Erik would have jumped to his feet to stop Pricilla from joining this Mac person for a ride, Antoinette had placed her hand firmly on his forearm then shook her head slightly when Erik glanced at her questioningly.

He had watched another man walk off with his wife. Damned if that man did not cast Erik a triumphant salute behind Pricilla's back. Erik's low growl had Meg looking askance in his direction while Antoinette had a pretty good take on the situation. Erik had painted himself into a corner by leaving Pricilla as he had done. Now he found himself growing more than just fond of his wife while she was being sought after by her doctor friend. Although Antoinette had not perceived anything more from Mac than friendly intent.

What an unnecessary mess Erik had created for himself. Antoinette felt glad that she could be here to help Erik during this delicate time of his life. He for sure had been ill-equipped to handle a woman and her needs let alone one he had made his wife. His pursuit of Christine had been highly unorthodoxed to say the least.

Antoinette sent Meg to explore the outdoors while she had a heart to heart talk with Erik. Of course Antoinette did not phrase her request thusly but the gist had been contained in her words. Once Meg had left Antoinette felt free to scold Erik again as she had in New York. Now she added her censure to include his poor treatment of Pricilla.

Antoinette let Erik know it would not be easy to win his wife back but not impossible as she had seen a little sparkle of something shining out of Pricilla's eyes when she looked at Erik. Not all of it had been animosity. Briefly a flare of something warmer had shone in those blue depths.

When Erik argued the point Antoinette had brushed his nay saying aside. Erik brought up Mac and his interest in Pricilla. Antoinette assured him that yes the man had feelings for Pricilla but not in any romantic way. There had been nothing noticeable between the two other than honest affection. Erik doubted men and women could remain only friends as his relationship with Christine had begun with him as her comforter and protector. Erik could not imagine any man being exposed to Pricilla for long and not want her. He knew he damn well wanted her in every way a man could want a woman. That information Erik did not share with Antoinette but she knew it nonetheless as Erik stared out the window in the direction Pricilla and Mac had taken.

This would be good for Erik in Antoinette's estimation. Erik needed this learning experience as to how people we interact with should be treated especially those we care about. Once one had a partner in life that person should be the main concern of the spouse. That worked for both the husband and the wife.

Antoinette could not relay everything Erik needed to know all at once. She could impart a few observations she had made and give him a few hints as to what might win Pricilla over. Antoinette warned Erik yet again that it would not be easy. He had to be committed for things to be affective. He could not use any grand gestures such as he had bestowed on Christine. Subtlety would win him more of what he wanted than grandiose displays. Sometimes the little gestures won more favor with a woman than anything else. Something a man works out for his bride to please her, the effort he puts into his plan, those sort of things made women weak where men were concerned.

Erik put his plan into action the very next morning. He instructed Loretta to take Antoinette and Meg into town for a little shopping. She had grumbled about it not being her job to entertain Erik's guests. Erik had wanted to shout at her for being obstinate and remind her that as long as he paid her salary she would do as he saw fit. He held back any such declaration as he knew Pricilla would not appreciate him upbraiding Loretta in that way.

It was only after he informed Loretta he wished to accompany Pricilla on her morning ride did Loretta become less surly with him. For all Erik's faults Loretta wanted to believe in him. Being a romantic at heart she had hoped Pricilla and Erik would work through there troubles. She had only remained disagreeable with Erik because he deserved some very uncomfortable moments for what he had done to Pricilla. Erik should have been told about his lost child but it was not Loretta's place to do so.

Loretta took the two women with her to town with a draft to be cashed at the bank for a hefty sum. Erik had given her an amount that would keep them in town all day to spend it. He took special care with his appearance. He splashed cologne on his face with his hands hoping Pricilla might get close enough to reap the benefit of it. Hell he hoped he would be the one reaping the benefits.

Pricilla and Erik met in the stable. She declined Mark and Nick's offers of assistance. Before Erik could offer Pricilla told him she enjoyed saddling her own mount as it gave her and Grey Lady time to bond, not that at this point they needed to do that. Instead she treated Grey Lady to cubes of sugar. Midnight Dream being of a covetous and jealous nature moved away from Erik toward Pricilla. Erik thought the animal meant to trod upon Pricilla until he nudged her back playfully with his soft nose. Her laughter gladdened Erik's heart. He had heard it so few times before and not once since his return.

"Something tells me that Midnight Dream is not unfamiliar with this treat you afford Grey Lady." Erik felt relaxed in Pricilla's company as he had never been before. Not even before his leaving could he say they had felt totally at ease with one another. Erik felt this indicated some progress.

"Oh Midnight Dream and I have an understanding. He does not misbehave around me and I bring him cubes of sugar as a reward. He has not yet learned the art of sharing though. He is a greedy beast." Pricilla patted him gently to show she had no hard feelings for the animal's avaricious nature. Really he was quite a sweet tempered animal if one did not get on his bad side. One trespass and the horse would never be handled successfully by the trespasser. His former owner had learned that the hard way after using the whip on the animal without discretion. That is how Erik came to possess such a fine animal.

The horses wanted to run but both riders restrained them until they left the stable yard. Pricilla wondered if today would be a good day to let Erik know he had almost been a father. If she could be certain no one would tell him she would spare him the pain she had suffered. No good could come from his knowing of the loss they had suffered. Pricilla would give almost anything for the memory to be erased from her own mind.

As if sensing her mistresses dilemma Grey Lady took charge of their direction. She chose to go the way she and her mistress went almost every day. The only day they veered from this chosen path were those days when another rider joined them. Today Grey Lady chose not to veer off the path that led to the copse of trees where her mistress cried silent tears nowadays. Before great sobs could be heard the whole time they stayed underneath the trees sheltering branches.

Neither Pricilla nor Erik spoke as they rode along. Each were deep in their own thoughts. Erik wondered how he could use this newfound willingness of Pricilla's to spend time with him to his advantage. Pricilla spent this time going round and round trying to think of the right words to tell Erik such a delicate thing as a child's loss.

Pricilla dismounted once Grey Lady had decided they had gone far enough into the trees. Pricilla did not wait for Erik to join her before she knelt down near the patch of loose earth. The large stone marking the grave had been carved with the day of her child's loss. The words "Here Lies My Little Angel" had been carved roughly into the stone's front.

Erik stood over Pricilla reading the words and the date not knowing what they meant. He knew it had not been here when he left. Curiously it looked like a small grave. With foreboding eating away at him Erik asked softly, "Pricilla what is this place? Is that…who is buried here?" Erik swallowed loudly fearing what would come next. He prayed God would have spared him this, would have spared Pricilla this atrocity.

"This Erik is the place where I choose to come when I need to speak to our child, the child God decided was not meant to be. I did not name our child as it had not had enough time to let us know if God would have blessed us with a boy or a girl." By now Pricilla felt too choked to speak any more. She did not need to as Erik sank beside her on the ground.

"A child? My child? Our child?" Erik tried to bring some acceptance to him by clarifying this place had indeed been made holy by the memory of his unborn offspring. Rage against this God that Pricilla cared so much about rose within Erik. It did not matter that he had not wanted to father a child. God had seen fit to taunt him with the possibility.

"Yes Erik this is where I would have lain our little angel to rest if there had been anything to place in the ground." Pricilla felt the pain as if freshly inflicted. She needed someone to hold her, she needed her husband's arms around her giving comfort.

"God. I curse this God of yours." Erik tore the mask from his face letting Pricilla see in daylight that which she had only seen briefly in the dark. "This is why our child could not enter the world. God saw his mistake in letting me live. I should have not lived past the first breath I took. God knows my mother would have counted it a blessing. Your God would not want two such unholy monstrous faces in the world. I should have died long before I became such an evil person. The taking of my child is a punishment to me. God has seen his mistake and has set about rectifying his error. Monstrous beings such as I am should not be allowed in this world of perfect faces."

Erik broke completely as his eyes settled on that stone that did not even have a name for his child. An emptiness such as Erik had never felt before settled inside of him. This was what one felt when you lost your soul. You became an empty vessel. Had he thought his soul left wih Christine's leaving him? How wrong he had been. This pain felt far worse than anything Erik had felt or could imagine.

Turning to Erik Pricilla grabbed his face between her hands to declare, "Erik no. You are not monstrous, misguided most assuredly, but not monstrous. Erik, this…this loss…it is not your fault. Nothing you did or did not do could have changed what happened.

I have been so angry with you for going off the way you did, but never did I blame you for having lost our baby. Mac made me see that sometimes nothing we do changes what is meant to be. We do the best we can.

Erik your face is not a punishment. How could it be? What could you have done in the womb to mark you so? I don't know the reasons for most of what goes on in the world I only have faith that everything that happens has a purpose.

Erik I don't want to go on as we have been. It serves no purpose other than to make us and everyone around us miserable. If…if you want…if you could bear it…I would like to try again. I have missed you even though we had such a short time together. I will try to get past whatever it was with Christine if you can get past the fact that your wife is not beautiful but will do all she can to be a good wife to you."

Pricilla still held Erik's face within her two hands. She wiped his flowing tears with her thumbs. She studied every angle and rise of skin on his deformed right side. Nothing about that red grotesquely shaped skin could be called anything but horrid. For all its horridness it did not turn Pricilla away from Erik. He had so much more to offer than a misshapen face. Just as she had more to offer than a plain unattractive face of her own.

Erik brought his hands up to frame Pricilla's face. Opening his eyes he looked deeply into the windows to her soul. What he saw there humbled him as nothing else in his life ever had. Such purity shone from Pricilla Erik hardly dared to believe she could offer him such grace as she had. How had someone as unjoly as he been granted someone so pure of heart?

He did not feel himself worthy of her forbearance but gladly he would accept whatever she would grant him. Slowly Erik inched his lips toward hers testing her resolve to forgive him. Pricilla remained as she had been before, her eyes locked with his own. He dropped his gaze to her mouth to see her lips parted slightly. She flicked her tongue across her lips in an unplanned provocative manner.

That little gesture unbound any restraint Erik might have had. Lowering his head Erik kissed Pricilla not sweetly as he had planned but demandingly and passionately. His tongue sought out hers in a duel lovers played to raise passion's fervency. Erik groaned as he leaned forward pressing Pricilla back onto the grass. He controlled her downward fall by placing his arm around her. Gently Erik let her come to rest on the ground as his mouth continued its exploration of hers.

Pricilla did not remain a passive partner. Erik had brought out an aggressively passionate side of Pricilla she had not known she possessed. When he lay across her pressing her further into the soft grass she felt as if she might burst into flames.

She did not protest Erik's fingers undoing the buttons of her blouse for her own were occupied in a similar task. A groan came from somewhere deep inside Pricilla as she felt Erik's hand cupping her breast. When his thumb dragged across her nipple any sane thought she might have had left her with only this driving need for some unknown end to her wanting.

Some newly found sanity warned Erik to stop this. It felt good and Pricilla had not protested, indeed she had been cooperating beyond his wildest dreams but something told him she might feel differently later after their lust had been satisfied. Erik did not want regrets haunting either one of them. He had rushed things before, taken what she gave with careless possession. He would not do that again.

They must settle all misunderstandings between them. Erik needed to unburden himself of the chains that still bound him to his old life. He wanted to tell Pricilla everything that had happened in New York giving her the chance to accept or reject him afterward. Only by telling every last truth about him could he at last be free of his past. Telling Pricilla everything would free him, free him from every chain that held him back from moving on as he wanted. Erik felt Pricilla would be the key that unlocked every restraint his past still had bound around him. She would be his savior or his destroyer.

Reluctantly Erik drew back from Pricilla. When she opened her eyes Erik almost lost the little bit of control he had managed to scrape up from somewhere. Pricilla looked back at him with desire burning hotly in her gaze. Erik groaned as he lowered his head for one last deep kiss before he began to button Pricilla's blouse once more. He quickly reassured her he did want her but this was not the time or place for such things.

To prove just how badly he did want her Erik pressed his arousal into the apex of her thighs. Pricilla arched into him giving a very satisfactory moan in response. She could not have any doubts how badly he wanted to possess her. All it would take for his good intentions to evaporate was one word of protest from Pricilla. He would be lost if she asked him to give her what they both wanted.

Wisely she held her tongue silent. Some sane thought had worked its way through the cloud of her desire fogged mind alerting her to the fact that to satisfy mere lust without settling their differences would only add to an already tense situation. They did need to clear the air between them. Pricilla praised Erik for his restraint kissing him with little salutations upon his face which distracted him from his task of redoing her buttons, neither seemed to mind really. A newfound ease between them now let them tease and tempt without worry of rejection or regrets later. They had forged the beginnings of a bond they should have had during those first days of their marriage. They had laid a foundation they could build on and this they would do one brick at a time. One forgiven trespass at a time, one truth told and understood. Together they would build a solid relationship that nothing could break apart. At least they thought as much.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-one**

**Smoothing Troubled Waters**

Mac could not say he trusted Erik one bit. For Pricilla's sake he would give Erik the benefit of a doubt. It wasn't that Mac had romantic feelings toward Pricilla that would not let him simply accept Erik's new found emotions for his wife. What concerned Mac about the whole thing had been Erik's disregard for someone's feelings, someone who possessed such a sweet and loving nature as Pricilla. Mac would always flock to the defense of anyone or anything weaker in nature.

Erik had taken to joining Pricilla and Mac for their daily rides. Pricilla would always head for the copse of trees at which point Mac would veer off to go further downstream until Pricilla signaled her readiness to continue. Erik had not known if he should join Pricilla in her private moments or not d-espite what had occurred before. He should have known Pricilla's kind heart would extend him the courtesy of being by her side during such a compelling moment at the sight of their child's monument.

Pricilla and Erik had not gone into any deep grieving sobs as they had on that first time they had come here together. Now they spoke of everyday things while Pricilla smoothed her hand over the lose dirt. Erik felt compelled to join his hand with hers. Every few passes their hands would meet for a brief caress, not one of passion but one showing they shared in something that had touched both of them so profoundly. They had created a child together. Nothing could compete with that other than carrying that child until it was ready to enter the world.

They had not resumed intimacies as of yet so the issue of whether or not they would risk another child had not come up. Erik new that Pricilla would want another child. In fact he could imagine her surrounded by many happy children. A woman like Pricilla had been created to mother children.

Erik wanted children but still held the belief that any child of his would be struck with his affliction even if God allowed one of his spawn to be brought into the world. Erik did not wish for Pricilla to suffer such a loss again. He did not even know if he could sustain another such loss and remain grounded in the present.

Glancing around Erik ascertained that the trees afforded them a certain amount of privacy. Mac had made himself scarce by going on ahead down the path along the creek. Erik wanted to kiss Pricilla quite urgently. His arousal strained the front of his trousers. Shamefully while she had been discussing mundane things and cleaning the spot designated as their child's monument to its memory, Erik had been picturing Pricilla beneath him writhing in ecstasy.

Considering Erik's failure the last time to bring Pricilla any sort of satisfaction he would need to work a little more diligently to assure she reached her climax. Erik couldn't say he felt any more experienced in the matter than he had before but at least now the only thing messing with his thoughts was his own desires. He had consumed no alcohol nor did he have thoughts of Christine ruling his emotions.

Just when Erik would have leaned in to kiss Pricilla she rose to her feet rather quickly. She stood over Erik with her breasts heaving with some unnamed agitation. Her face seemed to be flushed. Her eyes had gone that deep dark blue that meant some deeply felt emotion had hold of her. Erik deduced that since he and Pricilla were the only two present he must be the cause for her sudden anxious demeanor. Pricilla made a sound he could not decipher but thought might have been a groan of frustration.

Boldly Erik stepped up to align himself with Pricilla's back. Placing his hands on her upper arms Erik pulled Pricilla back against him. She sighed heavily then leant her full weight against him. He could feel every inch of her from shoulder to just above her knees. Every wonderful womanly curve lay open to him to discover their wonders.

Erik did not stay idle. Lowering his head he kissed his way along Pricilla's throat. He felt pleasantly surprised when she tilted her head to the side as she ran her hand around the back of his neck coaxing him to press harder kisses along her vulnerable skin.

Hearing the rasping of his afternoon beard Erik wished he had shaved before coming out. If he had known he and Pricilla might have a few intimate moments he sure as hell would have. Erik moved his hands along Pricilla from breast to thigh. Only briefly did Christine pop into his head as this situation could be said to be very similar to how Erik had caressed Christine when he had taken her to his lair that first time.

Erik wanted nothing to spoil this moment so he turned Pricilla with a gentle nudge of his hands. She willingly turned to him offering her lips to him eagerly. Erik could not mistake the fire burning within Pricilla's eyes as an equally all consuming flame had been lit within his own.

Deeply they kissed, tongues searching out new places to taste. Erik cupped Pricilla's bottom so that he could lift her up against the bulge of his pulsating manhood. A match to tinder could not have resulted in any less flames burning out of control.

All niceties had been tossed aside. They grappled at one another now seeking to touch flesh to flesh. Desperately they pulled at one another's clothing. Erik thought he might have torn Pricilla's blouse but his needs outweighed any gentleness he might have afforded her. Pricilla had not been a shy maiden either. Buttons had gone flying willy nilly as she pulled apart his shirt. Pricilla feasted upon Erik's muscled chest. Gone was the shy withdrawn maiden, in her place was a bold demanding woman touching places that nearly dropped Erik to his knees to have so many pleasurable sensations burning along his flesh.

Erik grabbed handfuls of Pricilla's riding skirt. The damn thing that had looked so attractive to Erik earlier now maddened him as he could not find a way to Pricilla's hidden treasures. His fumbling gave Pricilla's ardor time to cool while letting her head think more clearly. Lord above Erik had driven every reasonable thought from her head.

She had been ready to let Erik take her right here, out in the open with every possibility that Mac would be returning. He was supposed to continue on following the winding creek back toward Erik's home but anything could have prevented him from doing so. What if he had come back? Just a few minutes more and he would have received quite a shock.

"Erik no, not here, not now. I…I am sorry but I can't."

Erik could only think that he had done something wrong. He must have only thought she wanted this, wanted him. Turning away from her, Erik sought to hide his mortification. Could he have mistaken all that passion he had seen so clearly within Pricilla? It did not occur to him at this moment that the last time it had been he who had stopped further intimacies.

Seeing the slumping of Erik's normally proud shoulders Pricilla sought to reassure him that because she called a halt to things that did not mean she did not want to continue. Going to him Pricilla pressed her cheek to his strong back. She felt the involuntary bunching of his muscles. Turning her head slightly Pricilla placed a kiss on his back through his shirt.

"Erik don't think because I stopped things that I did not want them. I want you in every way a woman can want a man. This is simply not the time for such things. Believe me I almost lost my head completely. I do want you now and always." To prove her words Pricilla lifted the back of his shirt so that she could place kisses over Erik's scarred back. His groan drove Pricilla to add the caressing of her hands to what pleasures her lips brought to him.

"Pricilla I must warn you that if you persist in this manner I will be taking the decision whether or not we finish this here and now completely out of your hands. A man can stand only so much. You are now playing with fire my sweet wife. Careful you don't get incinerated."

Pricilla boldly encircled his waist with her arms. She rested her hands on the buckle of his belt. She wondered if even this new bolder person she had become dared to do what her mind told her to do. Not giving herself time to debate the issue Pricilla dove her hands into the waistband of Erik's trousers. If they could not be together completely she could at least assuage Erik's torment. She had after all been the one to lead him to the plateau only to leave him dangling at the edge of the cliff.

Erik jolted with surprise then every muscle in his body tightened as Pricilla's hand wrapped around him. His hardened flesh throbbed to match every beat of his heart. The pumping of blood through his body at a rapid pace engorged him further upon feeling Pricilla's hand holding him so tightly and intimately.

When she made no other movements Erik could not take another moment, he placed his hand over the place where Pricilla held his manhood within her enclosed palm and fingers. Through the cloth of his trousers Erik guided Pricilla in the rhythm that would bring him to a quick release. Selfish or not Erik could not debate the point with himself while in the process of reaching a mind shattering climax.

He had heard and read of men receiving this pleasuring from a woman. It did not compare to entering a woman's warm inner sanctum but it beat the hell out of self manipulation. Erik had gone through puberty and on into manhood with only his own hand to give him pleasure. Nothing had prepared him for what it felt like to be moving within a woman. Erik remembered how Pricilla had felt even if he had been slightly inebriated at the time. He also remembered that he had taken without giving anything in return. He could not even say for certain at the time he had made love to Pricilla or the memory of Christine.

"Pricilla, no. Let me…oh God I want to stop but I can't. Forgive me. Forgive me Pricilla." Erik had wanted to protest Pricilla's generosity to him. He had wanted to give this same gratification to her. He had been too far gone to hold back his release. Erik reached that climatic moment when the heart stops beating for an infinitesimal moment in time. The little death as some would call it. Erik could understand the medical explanation but he could also see the romantic reasoning. In that perfect moment of passion one died then was reborn in the next instant to be inundated with sensations of such splendor they can hardly be born. A painful pleasure in Erik's estimation.

Not caring that he looked like a man who had spent time with a whore in the bushes, Erik turned swiftly to Pricilla cupping her face in his hands. Leaning his forehead against hers he whispered as he looked into her eyes, "The next time is for you. I will give you what should have been yours all along. I do not deserve a woman such as you Pricilla but I promise I shall try to earn the right to be called husband by you. I lo…" Erik did not finish his statement as they both could clearly hear approaching horses hooves. Mac must have gone quite a ways and when they did not catch up with him wondered if something had happened.

Erik cursed Mac's gallantry. For once could the man play the uncaring dolt? Would it kill him to let Erik and Pricilla have their moment? Pricilla could not help the giggles that came out as Erik hastily tucked his shirt in. He had buttoned the few remaining buttons all in the wrong holes. It hung gapping open in places. His mask had gone askew showing a bit of his scarred skin. His hair stuck out at all angles from her fingers threading through it. He had only buttoned the top button of his trousers leaving a place for his shirt tail to stick out oddly from the opening.

This endearing picture of Erik would stay with Pricilla for the rest of her life. Her husband's usual gentlemanly presentation had forever been removed as how she would see Erik when she thought of him in private moments. She much preferred this mussed look to what he presented to the world. Stepping forward Pricilla kissed Erik lingeringly on the mouth. Only when she had him well and truly caught up in the kiss did she step back then begin to straighten his clothing as best she could as Erik stood docilely and bemused in front of her.

Pricilla had just finished with Erik and set about securing her own presentable appearance when Mac called from just beyond the copse of trees. The thickness of the undergrowth shielded them from Mac seeing clearly what they were doing.

Erik felt flushed and out of sorts as his plan to seduce Pricilla completely had gone astray due to his own mishandling of the situation. He should have not let his own needs sway him so easily from what he had planned. He began to suspect that Pricilla had more power over him than he thought. Recalling the words that he would have said if Mac had not barged in Erik could not help wondering if the intensity of emotions during such an intimate act had the words of love dangling at the tip of his tongue or if he did indeed feel love creeping into his heart.

His only experience with love had been Christine and what he felt now was ions away from that insanity. If Erik handled things the right way he could end up with everything he ever wanted. Christine had not ever really been his in any tangible or realistic way. She had not felt for him as he needed her to feel. Pricilla seemed willing to explore and expand what they now shared. She had been the one to initiate the moment of Erik's loss of control. As awe-inspiring as that moment had been Erik knew something even more powerful would be in store for both him and Pricilla once they finally joined in the way women and men did to reach mutual gratification. Erik would make certain the next time not to leave Pricilla wanting.

When Pricilla and Erik came out from inside the thicket of trees Mac being the gallant gentleman he was did not say one word about their disheveled appearance. Since both Erik and Pricilla seemed to have lost the knowledge for speech at the moment Mac carried the conversation for the most part. Being an intelligent man Mac knew the couple had shared some very intense emotional exchange. Pricilla looked quite different from her usual coldhearted persona. Mac could see much of Pricilla's former self shining through all the layers she had built up to protect herself from being hurt again.

Erik did not look any the less fearsomely strong character he had been but if one looked hard enough there did seem to be a tenderness there whenever he looked at Pricilla. Mac had concluded shortly after meeting Erik that first time that the man wore more masks than the one everyone could see. Erik had learned the art of self-preservation well. Only what he wanted others to see would be allowed to show on his face. Only in very rare moments could one catch Erik in an unguarded moment that revealed more than he would wish to the observer.

When they returned home it was to find Meg hopping about extolling the virtue of Erik's forbearance and generosity toward his houseguests. Upon taking notice of Mac Meg's exuberance quieted into complete silence. Flushing a deep red Meg shyly looked only briefly at Mac. Pricilla much to her surprise had taken a liking to Meg despite her obvious hero worship of Erik. It had only taken a few visits from Mac to win over Meg's interest. Mac had given Meg enough glances of his own that he thought had been unobserved. Antoinette had not missed any of the goings on in Erik's home. She looked squint eyed at them all ready to pounce if anyone got out of line, be it Erik, Mac or Meg. Pricilla had been the only one she thought did not act contrarily.

The woman had a perfect right to give Erik a hard time. Antoinette could see that only friendship and mutual admiration bonded Pricilla and Mac. Pricilla for all her silent cold shouldering of Erik, held a much deeper emotional attachment than she would admit. Erik's idiotic behavior had caused whatever might have developed between them to begin to wither and only now with Erik's return had things been rekindled much against Pricilla's will Antoinette guessed. What woman would want the humiliation Erik had put her through a second time? But for all her dedication to shunning Erik and plans to keep him at a distance, Antoinette had seen the softening in Pricilla's attitude toward Erik.

She did not really worry about Meg's emotions toward Erik. They were only girlish fantasies, something Meg had built up in her mind. Every young girl has someone they worship as a hero, someone to whisk them away on a white horse to live happily ever after, a fairytale ending. A fairytale was what Meg had built around Erik.

Pricilla had asked Mac about his interest in Meg. Mac for the first time since Pricilla had known him had stuttered and denied any such interest. When Pricilla remained silent only looking at Mac with disbelief clearly the presiding emotion Mac had at last confessed he did find Meg attractive but far to naïve and immature for him.

Pricilla had chuckled teasingly while informing him that a naïve, immature woman would be perfect for him. Mac would have a golden opportunity to play his favorite role as the knight swooping in to save the damsel. Mac could save Meg from herself. Would Mac have Meg drowning in hero worship for Erik without offering her an alternative?

Mac had chewed on that for a few minutes. The dawning smile of realization on Mac's face had given Pricilla her answer. Mac would be pursuing Meg but in an unconventional manner she knew for certain. He would sweep her off her feet before she knew what had happened. Mac had different ideas of romancing a woman than most men. His values were those of long lost days when knights won a lady with daring deeds while practicing chivalry to a fault.

Things were about to change in Tyler's Crossing. Some things would be change for the better while others would seem to be derailed for a time. The road to true love does not always run smoothly. Foor Erik and Pricilla the road had been built with bolders.

**A/N: A few more twists that will test our pair of lovers. This trial will only make their bond stronger. It may seem as if they will lose one another but this next bit is just to prove how strongly they have bonded to one another. As we know Erik is clueless when it comes to women in the real world. Give him a mirror to speak behind or a wall to hide himself and he is confidence personified. Face to face he becomes an inexperienced adolescent with no clue how women's minds work. **


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I am feeling a little down today so I thought what better way to lift my spirits than to post and wait for reviews. I have even read a few chapters of other authors stories and left reviews. My ff always gives me a little boost. So enjoy and thanks loads to all of you who have left me reviews. As I said they are a boost and all of you who do write know what I am talking about. **

**Chapter Twenty-two**

**Mrs. Olivia Patterson**

Olivia fanned herself against the heat of the day. Sitting on her front veranda she could survey everything that now belonged solely to her. Her husband, now her ex-husband, had left a few days ago when their divorce had become final. His departure may cause her a few uncomfortable moments but Olivia had stood against worse things than idle gossip.

Edward had done her a great service by agreeing to meet her demands. Of course it had helped that she had known of his little whore on the side. That trollop he had met shortly after their marriage. Olivia had not come all this way to be left high and dry when Edward had found someone he claimed he truly loved. Pooh! What he loved about the girl had been that she was young and malleable with loads of financial backing from her father. The man owned one of the largest plantations in Virginia. Colonel Beauregard Clark owned one of the few plantations that had actually survived the war and held off carpetbaggers during the reconstruction period which still continued today.

Olivia had been scouting around town during the month before she informed her husband of what he must do to win his freedom. There were a lot of men around town but few who had the wherewithal to support Olivia's sophisticated tastes. She had attended church one Sunday out of boredom. Low and behold the most striking man had been in attendance. She had made it her business to learn all she could about him.

The fact that he had a wife already Olivia considered only a small disturbance in the scheme of things. Mr. Erik Dante had just returned from some sort of extended business trip. His absence had been the fodder for gossip for quite a few weeks then upon his return revived to full verve. Olivia had closely observed the couple. A definite coldness had been between them. That could work in her favor. She had been all set for victory when upon going to church once more hoping to make Mr. Dante's acquaintance the couple had seemed to be more relaxed in one another's company. Pricilla Dante had not been quite so chilly toward her husband. They had not shown open affection but Pricilla had smiled less coldly toward Erik.

Olivia thought of this little hiccup as a small challenge to be overcome. She already had a plan in mind that would bring that lovely dangerous man Erik into her web. Once there he might protest and struggle a bit but there were ways a woman could bring down the most loving of men into an illicit affair, an affair Olivia would make certain poor dear Mrs. Dante learned about.

Edward had fortuitously started to build a sound foundation for one of Kentucky's finest stables. When Erik had come to town he had begun to give Edward some competition. Olive felt she could use that aspect to gain aid from Mr. Dante. What man could resist helping a poor defenseless woman in a world designed to grind a woman down underneath the boot of men?

Olivia was neither defenseless nor helpless. She had been brought up in a family that had been male dominated. To survive she had learned the ways and means of getting men to do what she wanted. She knew that men and their egos could be persuaded to follow her dictates if she stroked their frail self image with enough praise.

Erik would not know what hit him. Besides the man had been unfairly stuck with one of the plainest women Olivia had ever seen. Would he not welcome attention from a beautiful willing woman?

She put her plan into action on the very next Sunday. Olivia had gone to Reverend Mitchell to ask if he could persuade Loretta to introduce her to the couple. It had been no secret that Loretta had been volunteering at the church only to be in close quarters with Reverend Mitchell. Lately those two had been as thick as thieves. The good Reverend did not know the Dante's all that well but Loretta held a position in the household as well as a personal friendship with Mrs. Dante.

Horace saw no harm in asking Loretta to introduce Olivia to Pricilla and Erik. After all they did have horses in common. Perhaps Mrs. Patterson needed the advice of a man as to the business practices she would now be faced with as she and her husband had ended their marriage. Horace could not say he approved but when the couple had sought his council he could see immediately they had set their minds on severing all ties as soon as possible. Edward's quick departure when it had been finalized had led Horace to believe something other than unrecognizable differences had played a part in the dissolution of the marriage. His part in the mess had ended when they had left his church with his blessing to seek a divorce.

When Horace introduced Olivia to her, Loretta gave the other woman a good going over. She did not look like the helpless woman Horace seemed to think her to be. In Loretta's opinion the woman looked as if she would devour a man whether her own or someone else's. Loretta would not stand for anyone coming between Erik and Pricilla just when they seemed to be finding their way out of the dark pit Erik had dug for them.

Olivia worked up a few tears in the corners of her eyes when speaking of her present situation. According to her Edward had left everything a shambles. The account books she could not make heads or tails of them. There were repairs she felt sure which needed immediate attention. A couple of the horses had some malady that Olivia being so inexperienced could not identify. What she needed was someone who knew something about thoroughbreds. Why, did not Mr. Dante own one of Kentucky's up and coming stables?

Erik felt flattered to be aligned with a stable of the Patterson's caliber. Her subtle stroking of his male ego did not go unnoticed by any of the females present. As one entity they closed ranks around Pricilla. Even Meg felt she must side with Pricilla in this. Had it not been for her Meg felt she might not have gained Mac's interest before she had to return to New York.

Pricilla watched as this woman made eyes at Erik without a qualm right in front of her. The little touches on his arm, hand and chest Pricilla had not missed either. Although Erik seemed flattered as anyone would be to hear such gushing praise, he did not appear to take notice that the woman was all but salivating over him.

When she heard Erik agree to go to her home after he dropped off Pricilla and Loretta Pricilla thought at first she must be hearing incorrectly. She and Erik had planned to picnic this afternoon and Pricilla had even hinted she might not be adverse to exploring intimacies between them. At least she had thought she had made that point clear to Erik.

Perhaps she had gone too far around the subject to be clear enough or perhaps he had changed his mind. Did he know of Mrs. Patterson before today? Pricilla shot Erik a look that would have scorched him had he been looking in her direction. Charlotte cast a squint-eyed look at Mrs. Olivia Patterson. She had seen women like her slither her way into a couples marriage then devour the man before he knew what had happened. The marriage would end with two bewildered lovers wondering what had happened. The snake generally slithered away looking for her next victim after getting all she could out of her prey.

Charlotte leaned forward and whispered into Pricilla's ear, "You must put your foot down. Make up some excuse to keep Erik at home where he belongs. Tie him to the bed with you in it if need be. That woman means to ensnare Erik. As inexperienced as he is she'll have him hooked within minutes of entering her web or den, depending if one sees her as a snake or black widow."

"Charlotte I can't keep Erik from helping out a neighbor. She is a woman alone. I…I trust Erik." Even Pricilla had trouble convincing herself of her total faith in Erik. He had betrayed and hurt her too many times and their new relationship was still rather tenusous even if they had resumed intimacies.

Antoinette wondered how she could get Erik's attention so she might divert this potential disaster. Erik was easy prey to flattery from a woman, especially one who seemed helpless and abandoned.

If Erik would look behind those beguiling doe's eyes he could see the viper ready to strike. Antoinette wondered if Erik had taken notice that Mrs. Patterson bore a striking resemblance to Christine, a slightly older version but very similar in looks. Perhaps since it had been Christine's voice he had noticed first after she had grown older he might not see the likeness between Christine and this predatory woman.

The ride home had been made in silence. Erik had been too occupied with plans he could offer Mrs. Patterson to notice the frosty air around him. He aided the women down to the ground, quickly pecked Pricilla on the cheek then climbed back on the buggy ready to leave. The silly man paid no heed to the women shooting daggers into his chest.

Anyone who knew anything about Erik, which Pricilla did, would have known he was in a state of excitement. Erik never kissed her in front of anyone. Other than the day of their marriage he had kept any sign of affection where no one could see. They did steal a kiss now and then risking being caught but did not go out of their way to be overly affectionate in company.

With Erik being a little dispirited because he had not been able to completely satisfy Pricilla while being intimate she felt that might leave him open to the idea of experiementing if some lovely woman came along crooking her finger at him. She hated how much doubt she still felt that she held Erik's complete regard where his heart was concerned.

Only one thing could have brought Erik to this state. Even if Erik had missed the likeness between Christine and Mrs. Patterson, Pricilla had not. She did not like the conclusions her mind wanted to conjure for her consideration. She had just been finding her way back to trusting Erik. He had been an exemplary companion. Their moments of shared passionate kisses had given her hopes for the future. Now this _woman _would come along putting a wedge of mistrust and suspicion between them.

As Pricilla watched the buggy leave from her sight she stayed in the same spot until the dust settling was the only evidence Erik had been there at all. Pricilla felt anger rise in her as tears threatened to fall at any second. Erik had not even done anything to indicate he would betray her again and here she stood ready to weep her mournful tears already.

Pricilla bolstered her pride by repeating to herself over and over that Erik would return to her the same man who had left her. He cared enough for her not to be led into a tawdry affair. He had promised her after all had he not? She must believe in Erik's integrity. She must believe he cared enough about her not to be led astray. For her sanity Pricilla had to believe what she so dearly wanted to be the truth.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Dang, I had a scare earlier today. My computer froze and wouldn't let me do anything. I had to unplug it as it wouldn't even shut off using the off button. When I got it going there was a message that said there were problems and the computer would attempt to fix them. I had to do this twice before I finally got back into my computer. The whole time I was reliving the last two computer crashes where I lost everything. I got everything back so all is right with my world, or at least this little part of it. I had backup for my stories but not all the new chapters or new stories. I am working on that at the moment. **

**Chapter Twenty-three**

**Temptation**

Erik spent the time it took to get to the Patterson property going over in his mind many improvements and changes he would make if he had control of this operation. He and the Patterson stable had been in competition but now Erik felt it only neighborly to help the woman out during her mourning period for her failed marriage.

She was a beautiful woman with much to offer a man. Erik wondered what had gone wrong in the marriage. There had been rumors of some sort of an affair. Erik did not listen to gossip. His own life could fill a novel with all the scandal a person could wish to read about.

Pulling into the front drive at the Patterson home Erik saw Olivia sitting on the veranda fanning herself while sipping on what looked like lemonade. His parched throat reminded him that he himself could use a cool drink at the moment.

Stepping down from the buggy Erik looked up as Olivia came to stand at the edge of the top step. Erik's heart nearly stuttered to a stop when he saw that the sun shining on her white cotton dress clearly outlined every detail of her legs and hips. Perhaps she had forgotten she had removed her underskirts in the heat of the day. He did not think it would be proper to remind her of them. It certainly was not proper for him to ogle her openly either.

Surely she did not deliberately stand with her legs slightly parted. Being a man he did look and had the customary physical reaction. He hoped she did not notice the bulge beginning to swell his trousers. He felt a little niggle of warning but pushed it back down. He was only here to offer his help not engage in an exchange of favors despite what his body might think. He'd not let that lecherous little demon between his legs control him.

Suddenly a clear picture of Pricilla entered his mind. She did not look too happy with him. Shamed to have taken pleasure from another woman even if it had been accidental, Erik dropped his gaze to the ground. He shuffled his feet to help adjust himself without being able to touch what needed to be moved.

"Come on up Erik. Welcome to my home. Please join me for a drink before we take our tour of the property." Erik did not miss the sultry tone in her voice. Not knowing why, Erik felt himself to be in some sort of danger. He chided himself for being so absurd. What harm could come from spending time with a beautiful woman?

Erik accepted the glass from her hand. He blinked at the blinding smile she gave him. When he had hold of the glass he expected her to move away from him. To his consternation Olivia moved slightly closer. Desperate to take his mind away from places it should not wander Erik downed the glass of lemonade only to discover it had more than just lemons to flavor it. As his throat felt the burn of some alcoholic additive he hoped he did not disgrace himself with a drunken stupor.

He had to assume the alcohol was Russian vodka as there had been no odor or color distortion to the liquid. Erik had never faired well on the strong liquor. A small amount left him feeling quite odd. The amount he had consumed he surmised to be somewhat more than a small shot glass.

Before he could protest Olivia filled his glace to the brim once more. Erik felt obligated to consume the liguid.

He drank the whole glass in tiny sips as he told Olivia some of what he had to suggest for improvements. Of course he couldn't give any concrete ideas until he had seen all of the barns and surrounding pastures. Not wishing to show any adverse affects in front of Olivia Erik asked her to show him around and he'd try to give her the benefit of his knowledge. Erik's head swam a tad when he stood up while his ears heard her speaking as if he had his head stuck under water.

"Oh, Erik you have given me ideas already. Not all of which have to do with horses." Erik would not have known she was not only speaking of the horses and stables if she had not stepped close to him then laid her hand on his chest. It was all rather disconcerting to say nothing of how she affected him.

She was not dressed properly to be visiting the barns or stables let alone riding around the property. From his advantageous height Erik could see clearly down the front of her dress. The low neckline left little uncovered as it stopped just shy of the peaks of her breasts. Erik had to force his gaze to concentrate on something else other than what she displayed so temptingly before him. If she had kept her distance he could have passed off her seductive allusion to less than business activities as his overactive imagination.

An image of Pricilla coming to him saved Erik from doing something utterly stupid yet something men were apt to do. Erik latched on to Pricilla's face like a lifeline. If he thought of her he might come away from this without giving in to that voice in the back of his head whispering that Pricilla would never have to know. Forcibly Erik stamped it down until there was only an indecipherable buzzing going around inside his head.

They spent an hour or so going over and over the different aspects of breeding and lineage. Erik put forth many unique ideas that no one had ever implemented before but had a sound footing if put into practice. As he walked and talked the effects of his drink began to wear off. Olivia continued to make not so subtle suggestions of how they might spend the remainder of the day.

Such an offer had never been made to Erik before and especially someone who looked like Olivia. He felt disloyal for thinking in those terms but he could not hide the truth from himself. He desired this woman and would have taken all she offered but for the image of Pricilla he held onto with determination. Having experienced what sexual gratification felt like with a woman made it doubly hard for a man such as Erik to refuse such tempting fruit.

Erik had been ready to leave when Olivia asked him to look at one of the fence posts at the corner of the corral behind the stable. She had thought it looked loose yesterday when she had been exercising one of her mares.

Only wishing to get home to his wife while he still had one, Erik agreed to take a look. He had doubted the veracity of her claim but the post had indeed been loose in the ground. On closer inspection Erik saw that the base had rotted. The post would need to be replaced.

Olivia seeing her opportunity to bed Erik slipping through her fingers had at the last minute thought of the loosened post. Triumphantly she showed Erik where the tools were and the spare posts. It took a bit of digging to remove the buried foot of the post. The fencing had to be removed which required taking out one nail at a time.

Working diligently Erik made short work of the chore. In his eagerness to be away he had set a pace that worked up quite a sweat. His shirt clung to him uncomfortably. He wished Olivia would leave him so he could remove his soaking shirt. As if she read his mind Olivia invited him to remove his shirt. When she made a move which Erik interpreted as her attempt to remove the shirt for him, Erik stepped back then stripped the garment hastily over his head without bothering to unbutton it, a fact he regretted when a few buttons went flying into the grass some distance away.

Erik nearly groaned out loud knowing this would not look good in Pricilla's eyes. If she were to come back from a ride with Mac looking disheveled wearing a blouse with several buttons missing Erik could honestly say he'd have some very dark visions dancing around in his head concerning Mac's demise. Pricilla's reaction would be to assume her cold demeanor once more. Erik could say with conviction he much preferred Pricilla all sweet and caring. For such a shy reticent person Pricilla could give out the coldest vibes that would frost over all around her. Erik had suffered enough frostbite not to want to experience it again.

Wanting now only to complete the job and leave as quickly as he could Erik redoubled his efforts to complete the job in as short a time as humanly possible. Nearly finishing the job Erik startled when he felt a cloth at his back running down over his sweat covered skin. Turning abruptly Erik found himself face to face with Olivia, an Olivia who had an entirely too welcoming countenance to have him be anywhere near a relaxed state.

Erik drew Pricilla's face to the forefront of his mind praying this would be enough to save him. Now was not the time to notice Olivia's likeness to Christine. As her lips seemed to be drawing nearer to Erik's his mind flashed pictures of Christine before him. The three women he had whirling around in his mind met and merged then fractured off into a kaleidoscope of images mingling one with the other.

Erik began to suspect the effects of the alcohol had not worn off as well as he had thought as he felt his head begin to whirl making him slightly dizzy. He closed his eyes not able to move from the spot his feet seemed to have taken root.

Once Erik felt her soft lips on his own he feared all was lost as his body urged him to take advantage of this offering. Would he not have sold his soul for such a thing in his old life? Olivia feeling no resistance wrapped her arms around his waist drawing closer to his arousal. She pressed against him smiling smugly when she heard his groan. Triumph was at hand and she would walk away with the spoils.

Meanwhile Pricilla had walked through the house at least twenty times imagining things she would rather not see. She vacillated between trusting in Erik's honor and disbelieving any man would turn down such a beautiful woman when she laid herself out on a silver platter in invitation.

The sun had begun to slip down below the far hills and still there had been no sign of Erik. Not knowing all that Olivia had required of him Pricilla allowed that there might have been much to do as Olivia had not yet hired a man to help her in the place of her husband.

Perhaps Erik had been on is way home and a wheel on the buggy had broken or the horse had come up lame. Pricilla offered herself any number of scenarios that could have kept Erik. Anything would be better than imagining Erik with Olivia for any other reason than aiding a lone woman in need of help with the running of her property. Pricilla had far too many images willing to play upon her mind. First Christine and now Olivia. Always the woman would be far more beautiful than Pricilla. Erik had an eye for beauty. Everything in his home gave proof of that. His affection for Christine gave her another example of Erik's admiration for things pleasing to the eye.

Pricilla let her own insecurities eat away at her confidence. She mentally tore herself apart. In the end she had concluded she had no value to Erik whatsoever. All the displays of passion had merely been propinquity. She had been there when no one else had been available. Had he not left her as soon as he learned that Christine would be in New York? Did he not return only after Christine had once and for all cut him out of her life?

Pricilla felt she had been some sort of compensation Erik kept at hand until someone better came along. Now that Olivia showed an interest would Erik now leave her for this much more alluring woman? Pricilla felt she could not go through another rejection. Her heart could not bear another Christine entering their lives.

Self-protection would be her only means of surviving. She'd know for sure what to do once Erik returned home. One look and she would know whether she had lost him or not.

Pricilla took a seat in the front parlor knowing Erik would have to pass by in order to reach the upper floor and the sanctuary of his bedroom. Many hours passed by with only the ticking of the clock for company. Pricilla had coldly refused any offers of comfort from the other three women in the house. Knowing of Erik's betrayal would be much easier to bear alone. She did not need or want anyone's pity. All of her life she had been a pitiful specimen of womanhood. She did not need the comfort of others to point out how badly she had failed once again. This humiliation she hoped to face alone. They would know of course but would not be present to witness Pricilla's humiliation yet again at the hands of an uncaring husband.

Erik entered his home hoping everyone had gone to bed. All the lights were off so he felt almost certain he would not be accosted by anyone. In his present condition any explanation he might make would seem only a desperate attempt to cover the truth. Well he could say he did wish to cover what had occurred at Olivia's home.

He did not feel proud of anything he had done. Shame seemed to be the prominent emotion. Perhaps he could concoct some believable tale before he faced Pricilla again. The truth did not even convince Erik he had been innocent. If he could not convince himself what hope did he have to make others accept his explanation?

Placing his foot on the first step Erik thought he had been in luck and everyone had gone to bed when he heard a soft call from the parlor. "Erik. You are home at last." A simple statement yet the undertone held so much more. Erik knew he had created an impossible situation for himself the moment he had heard Pricilla's voice.

As he turned toward the parlor he heard a match strike. Pricilla had lit a lamp. She did not wait for Erik to enter the parlor but picked up the lamp to join him in the foyer. He could read nothing from her expression.

Beginning to resent the way she stood before him with an accusatory look about her face had Erik's ire rising more in a defensive gesture than he felt any real anger toward Pricilla, after all she did have a right as his wife to question him about certain things.

"Yes, things took longer than I could have foreseen. Being on her own things had gotten rather run down." Pricilla continued to look rather dispassionately at Erik filling him with an urge to fidget guiltily. Damn it could she not just take what he said as the extent of things and leave things alone?

Stepping closer to Erik Pricilla raised the lamp to get a better look at him. What she saw did not give her any assurance as to the honesty of Erik's statement. When she lifted her hand Erik jerked his head back reflexively. Pricilla paused then continued to reach out for Erik's face. She wiped her fingers along the side of his mouth then glanced down at the substance covering her fingers. If she was not mistaken this had been the color of Olivia's lipstick earlier today.

Carelessly Pricilla rubbed her hand down the side of her skirt. Her eyes moved over Erik taking in all the damning evidence. When she inhaled she could not help but breath in the sickening scent Olivia had worn. Erik seemed to be covered with that woman's fragrance.

Pricilla did not miss the lack of a few buttons on Erik's shirt or more evidence of Erik's now confirmed betrayal smeared across the fabric of his shirt. Pricilla held back the cry of pain from the sharp knife piercing her heart. Cold dignity would now be her only ally.

Not by word or deed would she let Erik know how badly he had hurt her. Silently Pricilla turned from Erik heading for the stairs. She needed the sanctuary of her room so she could let the shattering of her heart commence in privacy. She willed one foot to step then another. She paused briefly when she heard Erik speak.

"Nothing happened. I swear it." Erik desperately wanted her to believe him without resorting to pleading. He did not feel confident that he could present a believable explanation anyway. Shame for the part he had played in this situation did not leave him feeling as if he could voice any plausible pleas for forgiveness.

As Pricilla continued up the stairs without so much as a glance in his direction Erik let his anger rule him. If she did not want to believe him then she could think as she wanted. He would not grovel at her feet begging her to cast him a bit of charity. If and when she came to her senses they could speak rationally to one another.

When Pricilla had reached the top of the stairs and still did not turn to him Erik felt rage against her coldness rising within him. If she wanted a cold war between them then so be it. Erik was a master at this game. He above anyone he knew could instill a room with cold malevolence. In the past just one look from his cold eyes sent grown men screaming. Pricilla weak woman that she was would find herself no match for Erik, the Phantom.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: I don't want to keep everyone hating Erik so I am trying to post the chapters as quickly as I can that will finally get us to the good stuff. Next chapter will be even nicer. **

**Chapter Twenty-four**

**War of Wills**

No one had been quite sure what had been exchanged between Erik and Pricilla but had to surmise it had been devastating as both treated the other with cold indifference contrasting markedly with their recent cordiality. It was impossible to miss the yearning looks they cast at one another when they thought themselves to be unobserved.

Antoinette had approached Erik for an explanation of his behavior to which he had made a very rude comment the gist of which meant for her to mind her own business. He had stormed out leaving her alone with an angry retort hovering on her lips which had been spoken to Erik's retreating back.

Pricilla did not ask and Erik did not offer to accompany Pricilla and Mac when they took their rides. Meg and Mac tried to figure out how best to help but could come up with no plan of action. Meg had given up being jealous of Mac's friendship with Pricilla. He had proved to her beyond any doubt he only saw Pricilla as perhaps a sister and definitely as a woman who was in need of some male words of praise.

Pricilla had taken to wearing her old dark clothing once more. For a time she had discarded wearing her glasses unless reading. Now she wore them again all the time. Her hair once again covered most of her face. There was no joy in her at all. Mac told Meg that Pricilla needed all of these shields to protect herself from the pain Erik had inflicted on her. Whatever he had done, had driven Pricilla's newly found confidence into the ground.

Mac had a hard time not taking Erik to task for his stupidity in getting involved with Olivia Patterson. Everyone knew the woman had the instincts of a piranha scenting fresh meat in the water. Meg had told Mac in confidence some of Erik's history, at least as much as she knew. There was much she did not know. She did tell Mac that Mrs. Patterson looked very much like the woman Erik had lost his head over in France. From what Meg had told Mac of her sweet sister, Olivia only bore a physical likeness to Christine.

Every day that past Erik became more frustrated and angry. Out of spite he continued to visit Olivia staying long into the evening. He never asked Pricilla if she minded him going to another woman's home leaving them open to gossip. Erik had stopped going to church as he felt far too guilty about everything to enter into a house of God.

Pricilla had to bear the brunt of ridicule on her own. Stoically she would look forward as she sat in the pew beside Charlotte and Michael. All her other friends sat with her pretending not to hear the whispers concerning Erik's absence which happened to coincide with Olivia's. Pricilla had been able to keep her promise to herself that she would not shed one tear in the presence of another over her recent heartache.

Michael had not directly confronted Erik about what had been going on between him and Olivia. He knew that to do that would send Erik off in an angry tirade which would end with Erik breaking all contact with Michael. Michael felt he could better serve his friend by using more subtle methods.

Being in the service of the public Michael had the skill to get others to let go of secrets they might not otherwise divulge. Erik did loosen up enough to say that he had nearly committed the sin so heinous Pricilla would not have been able to forgive him. He had openly admitted he found Olivia attractive mostly because she reminded him of Christine. Erik had also told Michael the woman had no moral fiber whatsoever. Her heart was made of stone through and through. She cared nothing about anyone other than what they could give to her.

Once Erik got started he unburdened himself to Michael as he had never done to another soul. Michael did not let himself believe it had been his winning charm that had opened up the gates to Erik's confession. More than likely it had to do with the bottle of fine Kentucky bourbon they had shared.

In the end Michael had called Erik one of the biggest fools he had ever known. All he had to do was tell Pricilla what really happened. What she imagined was only a partial truth. Erik had been guilty of behaving as many men would, only he had not taken that last unredeemable step. He had let his regard for Pricilla guide him rather than any lust filled response toward Olivia.

Michael deduced from Erik's tale there had been an attempt at seduction, a momentary lapse in judgment of perhaps mere seconds, then a complete rejection of Olivia's advances. Erik had confessed to feeling more than a little attracted to Olivia and it had not helped that she had been doing things guaranteed to have him ready to explode if a brisk breeze had come along.

His feelings for Pricilla had saved him in the end from being totally stupid even if for a moment he had not reacted in an appropriate manner. Eventually he had come to his senses and told Olivia he loved his wife and if she could not accept that he would not be coming back.

Of course then Pricilla had questioned Erik to which Erik typically bit his nose off to spite his face. At times Erik could be a very arrogant, prideful man. Being self-conscious about his face Erik overcompensated by being harsh toward anyone he felt judged him. He would strike out at anyone he saw as a threat before they could do anything toward him. A lot of the time Erik saw a threat where there wasn't any.

As the weeks passed and nothing changed other than Erik grew more surly, everyone started to avoid him whenever possible. Olivia had told him not to return as she had found someone willing to help her full time. Erik privately pitied the poor soul Olivia would be making her next meal of. Erik washed his hands of her and her trouble making antics. If not for her and his own weakness he and Pricilla would by now be sharing a bed as well as what that implied.

This morning Erik planned to be charming toward his wife. Someone had to make the first move. Since all of this had been brought about by his own shortsightedness he felt obligated to make the first offering toward peace between him and Pricilla. Yes he had been a fool but felt he had kept his honor by not letting himself be swayed by a beautiful woman.

Sitting at the table eating his breakfast Erik ventured to enquire, "Will you be riding with Mac today?"

"Yes." Pricilla did not even raise her head to look at him. Erik held back his rising temper.

"Would you mind if I joined you?" Slightly aggravated with her coldness Erik nonetheless continued with his quest.

"Suit yourself. I daresay I could not stop you if I did object. So do as you please." Pricilla had had enough of wearing her heart on her sleeve. She would not let Erik see the hurt she felt still. She hated the fact that she still cared for the damn man. As hard as she tried to drive him out of her heart he stubbornly continued to hold her hostage by the emotions he evoked within her.

Not wishing for any further conversation lest she break down Pricilla quickly wiped her mouth then practically ran out of the room. Going upstairs Pricilla changed her dress for a pair of trousers she had bought in town. The shopkeeper had raised his eyebrows a bit but had gladly taken her money without a word.

Pricilla managed to make it to the stable without running into anyone. By anyone she meant Erik. Mac wouldn't be joining her today as he and Meg were going on a picnic with Antoinette tagging along as chaperone much to Meg's disgust. Pricilla couldn't help the small smile as she remembered the scene between mother and daughter last night. Both women had strong personalities underneath all their reticent shy glances.

Pricilla had not wanted to confess that she would be alone and now she had to rush so she would be gone by the time Erik came down.

Erik had been in his room changing into his riding trousers and boots when he had seen Pricilla striding across the back yard toward the stables. If she thought she could get away from him that easily she needed to think again. No matter if she left before him Erik determined enough was enough. He was having his wife back if he had to tie her up until she listened to him.

This war between them had lasted far too long. Both of them felt righteous in their stand and neither had backed down. It occurred to Erik that as long as they were stuck in this impasse neither of them would be declared a winner. The only victory Erik wanted at this point in time was for his wife to understand that he may have been weak for a few seconds of time but for the greater part he had thought only of her. It had been his thoughts of her that kept him from committing something he would only enjoy until it ended then would regret it for the rest of his life. He would rather have Pricilla love him than have a hundred Christines or a thousand Olivias.

Erik drew himself to his full height, straightened his shoulders then made his way to his wife. Luckily no one encountered him for he was in no mood to be waylaid with useless chatter. He had only one destination in mind with one conclusion at the end of the next few minutes. He would be claiming what was his and come hell or high water nothing would be stopping him.

With every step that brought him closer to his target Erik felt a greater conviction that what he intended was the right course. If he must use a little force then so be it. He wanted a wife not a combatant. He had not done anything so terribly wrong. He could admit to all of this being his own fault. If he had come home and persuaded Pricilla to listen they could have avoided all of this pain and anger. In his usual stubborn fashion he had taken umbrage for being questioned. He loved Pricilla and she loved him and had thought that would be enough.

He could even admit to being in the wrong concerning going to the aid of a woman without bringing Pricilla with him. Typically he had thought only in terms of what he wanted. He hardly ever looked beyond his own needs. He had begun to learn that what affected him affected Pricilla and he should act accordingly. This knowledge came a little late to prevent his stupidity but he could use it to fix the problem and prevent further transgressions in the future.

He was learning that often women needed words as well as actions to prove how a man felt. Silent adoration only went so far. If he loved his wife he should show her but tell that also many times in many ways.

His steps became quicker as he felt the familiar surge of power going through him. In the old days when he pitted his wits against those fools who thought they controlled the opera house, Erik always felt more powerful when they opposed him for he knew in the end he would win. Opposition had made the victory all the sweeter. With Pricilla it would be the same. He would conquer her and she would yield to his will. Maybe not in the same way but the feeling would be the same sense of power.

Love returned Erik found to hold a power all its own. He would trade that power for all the strength he possessed. He loved his wife damnit. Calling himself all sorts of a fool he determindly increased his pace.

Without warning Erik threw open the stable door. The glaring rays of sunlight were what alerted Pricilla to Erik's presence. She turned toward him ready to tell him quite plainly she did not wish his company. The sight of his heaving chest along with the fire in his eyes chased all sane thought from her head. This man before her looked quite different than the husband Pricilla had come to know.

He did not look crazed as he could at times nor did she think him to be angry. He looked more determined than anything else. He looked…well he looked damned desirable she had to admit. Looking at him Pricilla thought he looked like a man with a mission. For no discernable reason a frisson of anticipation shivered down her spine.

"Pricilla Jane Dante you have kept me at arms length long enough. I let you have your way as I had been at fault. The time has come for us to settle this matter once and for all. I will talk and you will listen." As he spoke Erik advanced on Pricilla slowly. She backed away as far as she could. Her back up against one of the stall's dividing posts stopped her retreat.

"I…I have nothing to say to you." Pricilla looked to the left and the right trying to see her best route to escape.

"Good. If you have nothing to say that will make this much easier." Erik felt his heart rate increase as excitement of the chase took hold of him. Narrowing his eyes Erik silently willed her to run so he could give chase. Much to his surprise Pricilla darted to the left heading down the middle isle toward the side doors. Erik gave chase with a predatory gleam in his eye.

To the victor goes the spoils and Erik had every intention of being the victor in this game of cat and mouse. His only decision to make would be how generous he should be once he caught his little mouse. The gleam in his eye intensified as several ideas of how he might play with her came readily to his mind. Pricilla would tremble if she could see Erik now. The only question would be from what emotion would she tremble, fear or anticipation?

**End Note: Erik may think he has the upper hand but I won't let him get too cocky. Pricilla derserves to hold a few of the cards in their relationship. Who will conquer who? Who is the mouse and who is the cat?**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-five**

**Desires Fulfilled**

Pricilla could hear Erik's steps closing in on her. Her mind warred with itself. Part of her wanted to let him catch her while her prideful side demanded she keep him at bay. Excitement rather than fear had her heart tripping away inside her chest. She had almost made it to the open door when Pricilla felt Erik's hand grab her shoulder. She felt certain the feeling passing through her was relief at not having made her escape.

Erik stopped her in her tracks spinning her around to face him. When he had her turned toward him Erik placed his other hand on Pricilla's other shoulder holding her still with a firm but gentle touch. Neither seemed willing to break the tense silence. Pricilla felt her lips tngle as her eyes dropped t Erik's parted lips.

Dear God how she wanted him to kiss her. In her mind she already felt his tender caress. She could feel herself melting under his touch. Much more and she'd be a puddle at his feet. She must fight this urge welling up in her to throw herself into his arms. For her pride's sake she must force him to earn any concession she gave him.

"You will listen to me. I have let this nonsense go on far too long. I will have my wife back or we end this today." Erik had not meant to add that last part as he doubted he could ever let her go. He would not lose her to foolishness, neither his nor hers. It did not help when he saw her lower lip begin to tremble. If he made her cry that would be the end of his masterful aproach. She'd have him clinging to the hem of her skirt, well if she had one he would.

Pricilla's heart dropped to her feet when she heard Erik's threat. She didn't wish to leave him. To do so would kill her. For some reason she had let herself believe they would go on as they had until…well until she could accept his infidelity or they died, whichever came first.

"I…I have no wish to speak of your…your…I will not be played for a fool." Pricilla firmed her lips in resolution hoping she could keep to her words. Erik's hands on her shoulders seemed to burn not painfully but in the way which caused those strange tingles in her. She could feel every part of her responding to his mere touch and the sound of his voice.

"You are my wife and I will enjoy all that implies. I have done nothing I need feel forever ashamed of or earn your coldness unceasingly displayed toward me."

"You have done nothing? After going to that…that…harlot day after day, staying there until all hours you say you have done nothing to earn my scorn? Well what if I told you that…that while you were trotting about after the skirts of…of that woman I myself found someone to keep me company?" Pricilla did not know what insanity had those words leaving her mouth. If he asked for a name she would be stumped for a reply.

Only for an instant did Erik envision Pricilla with some faceless man. Before his rage could overwhelm him, Erik saw her challenge for what it was, a woman trying to save her pride. Perhaps he should use this untruth to further his own cause.

Erik forced his face to show anger instead of the anticipatory gleam of sexual tension now churning within him.

"Woman, I should then have need to take you to task and as your husband remove any thought of this other man from your mind. When I am finished with you my dear Pricilla, no other man will tempt you by word or a handsome face. You will see only me." Erik had perhaps overstated things in his excitement. Could he live up to this paragon of prowess he claimed to be?

Erik knew for certain he had not left Pricilla with any satisfaction the time he had forced himself into her bed. Their recent encounter though pleasant for her had not brought about that near death Erik knew she should feel just as he did. Not wanting to make a poor display Erik sifted through everything he had ever heard or read about how to give a woman that which would bring about her climax.

All the things his mind showed him he felt far to erotic for Pricilla. He may well shock her if he suggested such things. The state of his arousal would not enable him to hold off from reaching his own climatic end before Pricilla could reach her own plateau of pleasure. In the first days of their newly rekindled intimacy Erik had not wanted to shock the shy innocent woman Pricilla had been with any lechorous suggestions he may have had.

Erik began to move forward thereby forcing Pricilla backward into the empty stall behind her. When they were both inside the stall Erik gave her a gentle push backward so she fell into the pile of hay behind her. At any time she could have scrambled away from him but she simply lay there as she fell.

Erik dropped down to his knees then leaned his body down so that he lay across Pricilla preventing her from moving away. She could have told him he had no need to worry. She had no intention of going anywhere. For pride's sake she had to protest even if she did so weakly.

"Erik stop this. What…what if someone comes along? This is…is quite inappropriate." Erik could not help but notice she did not say that she did not want what he wanted. Her only concern was being discovered by some passerby. Erik knew that everyone had other concerns today that would keep them in town or visiting for several hours today. They would be alone as soon as everyone had left.

Since the buggy had already been made ready for Antoinette and Meg's picnic with Mac. They were picking him up in twn and dropping off Loretta at the Reverend's house. The maid had gone to visit a friend. Both stable hands were out mending fences. He and Pricilla had no worries about being caught by anyone. Although Erik briefly considered the fear of someone coming along might add a bit of spice to things.

Pricilla had not struggled at all once Erik had lain across her. He felt too wonderful to deny herself this small token of what she wished to experience. She felt her face heat with the pictures her mind conjured for her perusal. She did not know exactly when she had become such a naughty minded person.

Erik tenderly ran his finger along Pricilla's jaw marveling that anyone could have such soft skin. Her heightened color along with the darkening of her eyes proved to Erik she was not as immune to him as she would have him believe. He knew for damn sure he could never again be aroundher and not want her.

"Do you trust me Pricilla? Would you place yourself in my hands? You do know that I would never do anything to harm you intentionally, tell me you trust me." Erik unintentionally used the mesmerizing quality he could instill in his voice. He had used it on Christine and others to bend them to his will.

Erik had no need of any theatrics to win Pricilla's capitulation. As soon as he had touched her with tenderness she had been his for the taking. Despite everything she still loved him. If that made her a fool then she would gladly shout to the world that she, Pricilla Jane Dante laid claim to the title to the world's biggest fool. She had every reason to distrust Erik and no reason to trust him but she did.

"Yes Erik I do trust you." Pricilla could not resist placing her hand on his face. He had shaved but she could still feel little prickles of whiskers against the palm of her hand. Erik had a very heavy beard that needed to be shaved twice a day. Pricilla rather liked the scruffy beard Erik wore at the end of every day.

Erik looked deeply into her eyes gleaning the validity of her words. With this reassurance Erik dropped his head kissing Pricilla not gently but roughly, demanding a like response. The kiss ignited a fire in both of them that blazed quickly into an inferno.

Their breaths mingled as they began a frenzy of taste and touch. Only the harsh rasp of their breathing and the rustle of clothing could be heard at first. Soon groans of want permeated the air. Frantically they began to tear at one another's clothing. Nothing about the removal of these obstacles to the flesh beneath had anything of finesse about it.

Trousers were pulled off inside out after boots and been struggled with to remove. They were then tossed carelessly aside. Pricilla lost all restraint as did Erik. Nothing short of the end of the world could stop them from attaining mutual gratification. Modesty had flown out the window at Erik's first tug at her trouser waistband. Pricilla became just as eager and aggressive as Erik.

Mouths and hands eagerly explored newly bared territory. Erik had wanted to bring Pricilla pleasure first as he knew that once within her warmth he would have no control to stem the inevitable tide. He was too far gone for restraint. Once all barriers had been moved Erik nudged Pricilla's legs apart to accommodate him. Muttering repeatedly that he was sorry Erik entered Pricilla with one powerful thrust of his hips. He tried to force himself to be still but his body demanded he move seeking to end the sweet torture. He had been so completely trusting of Pricilla's affections he had removed the one and only barrier he never removed freely for anyone. With careless disregard Erik tore the cloth mask from his face. He wanted to glory in Pricilla's kisses over every inch she cared to pay homage.

Erik kissed Pricilla with a passion he never had before. Mixed within the passion were various other emotions. Love, tenderness, caring, respect, so many new emotions that Erik had not felt for anyone else in a long time if ever. He had loved Christine but it had not felt the same as he did now. Knowing his feelings were returned made all the difference. Erik felt that Pricilla could give him no greater gift than her love. She asked nothing of him in return other than his love.

Nearing his moment Erik's thrusts came faster and harder. Pricilla encouraged him with words of praise and declared her love for him numerous times. She kissed him everywhere delighting in the freedom. Just as Pricilla reached some unknown peak Erik thrust one last time then collapsed down to the side of her partially draping his body over hers.

Knowing he had left her once again without any satisfaction Erik railed at his inability to control his own body's lustful tendencies. He felt it time to implement some of those things he had heard and read about that brought a woman to her own pleasure.

"Oh God Pricilla I am so sorry. Once again I have failed you. I am…" At this point Pricilla placed her finger over Erik's lips to quiet his self castigation.

"Erik it doesn't matter. You give me more pleasure in a simple touch than I imagine others feel in intimate moments. We have time Erik. We will learn together. It is not your fault God made men the way they are. Don't imagine you are the only male to…to…well to believe themselves to be the only male with a deficiency. It is not really even a deficit, it a natural thing." Pricilla buried her face in his chest as waves of embarrassment flooded her face. She would persevere for Erik's sack even if she went up in flames.

Lifting her head she took his face in her hands so that she could kiss him before she continued, "Erik…men…men and women are different in how…well our physical differences are such that men can…can…" Pricilla ground to a halt unable to face Erik as his mouth grew wide in a amused grin.

"Men can what Pricilla? Please do not stop now I am fascinated. Please continue to enlighten me." Erik felt as he had never felt in a woman's presence before. He felt confident, in control in a good way, comfortable as he never had before, he felt power over her without feeling the need to overpower her.

Erik's teasing tone gave Pricilla the push she needed to say what she wanted to say. "Men can gain their pleasure with little effort while a woman needs her fires stoked by more than just kisses. We…I…well I am not sure of all of it as Charlotte and I were far too embarrassed to read the whole article but I think I got the gist of it. Women have certain…places…uh places that when touched stimulate certain areas…Oh Erik will you not stop me from digging this whole any deeper?"

"So, if I am to understand you correctly a man only has to search out these mysteriously secret places to give his lover what she desires?" Pricilla had at this point closed her eyes. She could not look into his face again after speaking so plainly about a subject not meant to be discussed in the light of day.

Erik bent and covered her nipple with his mouth rasping his tongue over the peak. "Is this one of those secret places Pricilla?"

"Oh…oh my. Oh…yes I…I think so." Erik made it nearly impossible for her to think let alone form coherent sentences.

Moving down her stomach Erik continued to ask if this place or that could be one of those places that gave a woman pleasure. Pricilla began to squirm as such intense sensations coursed through her. A blaze had been set afire in her lower belly that raged out of control when Erik at last favored her with a caress guaranteed to send her up like an erupting volcano. She protested weakly while every instinct curbed her words from becoming any earnest protestations.

She could not stem the loud cries and moans coming from deep within her by Erik's exploration of her intimate regions. Any vague notions what it would feel like paled when Erik brought her over the peak to descend into a sensual pool so powerful Pricilla stopped breathing for a moment. She had not expected she would have to die to gain this release from her sensual tension. She felt it a fair exchange to die for this one perfect moment with Erik as her lover.

Erik heard her cries as she reached completion. His name had been on her lips at her moment of climax. It had been praises for his prowess she had declared on the rise to that highest point just before plunging into a sensual bliss. He had been the one to initiate her into what pleasures could be found with only the lightest of touches.

They did not speak as words were unnecessary. Later they would have time to say all that needed to be spoken out loud. Now was for silent demonstrations of what they felt. Pricilla grew bold and wanton after Erik's demonstration of what sensual delights the body could have with only a little exploration.

Erik felt his arousal gaining momentum with every caress from Pricilla's ever increasingly bold caresses. Taking advantage of her lips so close to his own Erik bent to Pricilla's waiting lips. He captured her surprised gasp with his own mouth. Once the spark had been lit they did not stop until the flame consumed them both. This time Erik made certain that before he took his own pleasure Pricilla reached her own. If her loud cries were any indication he had done very well.

Erik briefly hoped that no one had returned early to hear Pricilla's lustful outpourings or his own for that matter. He knew they still had much to discuss but thought that so much of what had needed to be said would only reinforce what they already knew, they loved one another completely. Erik felt as if they had exchanged bits of their souls when they had come together.

Drowsily Erik searched with his hand trying to find a few stray items of clothing with which he might cover them. Grabbing whatever lay close at hand Erik covered them as best he could. In his present euphoric state he did not care who came upon them. To preserve Pricilla's modesty he made the effort to find cover. Pricilla and Erik fell asleep entwined in one another's arms haphazardly covered in articles of clothing.

An hour later Nick came into the stable in search of more fencing nails. Walking by the first stall he stopped just past it uncertain if his eyes had indeed seen what he thought they had. Taking a couple of steps back he looked to the side then quickly forward again. After a moment a pleased grin spread across his mouth. He wanted to shout out a hallelujah but could not least he wake the sleeping couple perhaps undoing any progress they had made.

Stealthily he went to collect the nails. Once he had all he needed Nick left out of the stable by the front entrance. He'd need to walk the long way around but hell and damnation if it wasn't worth every step to see those too idiots together as they should always have been. He couldn't wait to inform his brother. He whistled all the way back to the far corner of the pasture a new jauntiness in his step. Wasn't love just grand?


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: So we have come to the end of the angst but we still have a bit to go. Nothing depressing only tying up the loose ends in a pretty bow. Thanks to all who review and read. Especially those who review to give me support and suggestions. **

**Chapter Twenty-six**

**Finding Their Way**

Pricilla awoke to feel severe prickling all along the backside of her body. Erik had fallen asleep with his arm draped across her and his leg nesting in-between her own. The hay that had felt soft earlier now only felt irritating and very scratchy. She hated to wake Erik as he looked quite content at the moment. She smiled when she imagined a little boy with Erik's features nestled in her arms.

Perhaps they might be blessed again with a child. Erik had been quite domineering as well as potent the. Making love twice in such close succession she felt not something most men were capable of accomplishing. Perhaps Erik had a lot of years of going without to make up for.

"Erik? Erik my love it is time for us to return to reality." Reality was the furthest thing from what Pricilla wanted just now. Erik had taken her to heights few were ever able to reach. If she had loved the man before now she positively adored him. Once he had gottne the hang of what made her blood boil he had set her afire.

Erik began to stir. His hand that had been resting at her waist moved to cup her breast possessively. Leaning across her he captured the peak of her other breast within his mouth. Pricilla wanted this but could it be possible?

"Erik you can't possibly…" Erik moved to press his arousal against her thigh. It would seem he indeed could.

"I want to Erik but this hay has become quit…oh Erik," Pricilla squealed the last words. Erik had suddenly rolled to his back carrying Pricilla with him. She now lay comfortably atop him. He had a rather pleased smile which she felt certain would be twinkling in his eyes if he had opened them.

Cupping her backside in his hands Erik commanded playfully, "Pleasure me woman." He squeezed just enough to let her know he made the demand in jest. Blushing furiously Pricilla bit her lip wondering if she dared do something so…so wicked and so decadent.

The light of the siren lit behind Pricilla's normally shy countenance bringing a wickedly tempting smile to her lips. She let this new confident part of her take over. Straddling Erik's firm hips Pricilla let out a sultry laugh when Erik's eyes popped open at her bold move. As she moved to accommodate his arousal Pricilla found she liked how Erik's eyes grew hot with desire for her as she moved slowly setting a teasing rhythm.

Erik's passion clouded mind vaguely wondered where his shy wife had gone. This new Delilah setting fires wherever she touched he liked very much. How could a man not feel intoxicated by her while she in turn made him feel ten feet tall? He had been pleased by her response to everything he had done to her.

With his hands on her hips Erik urged Pricilla into a faster rhythm. She teasingly held back until her own needs demanded she bring them to the culmination of passion. Erik had dropped his guard enough to plead openly with Pricilla. The whispered words of encouragement did much for Pricilla's pride as Pricilla's pleas had done for Erik.

Sweat streaked down Pricilla's back and in-between her breasts. Erik's final groan as he thrust upward then released his seed into Pricilla's womanhood was all she needed to reach her own climatic end. She wilted in a boneless heap lying heavily upon Erik's chest.

When the afterglow of lovemaking began to fade reality set in. Pricilla now felt quite sticky. The scent of their passion permeated the air. She imagined her hair might resemble that of a scarecrow as she picked bits of hay out of her hair. The books all spoke of the romance and passion but nowhere did she recall reading anything about the less than pleasant aftermath once the fires were douced.

Comparing Erik's manly look to her own bedraggled state Pricilla considered this just another of life's unfair differences between men and women. She looked like a vagabond or worse while Erik looked like some virile lord of the manner. It really wasn't fair.

Erik taking notice of her down turned lips asked worriedly, "What has your mouth angled in such a discontented frown?" He hoped it had nothing to do with his performance. She had seemed to be…well he had not heard any complaints among all those shouts and cries of passion.

"I know it's silly but I just had the thought that women, me in this instance, do not fare well making love in the hay. You come away looking more attractive while I look like some vagrant who spent the night in the stables."

Only momentarily had Erik been distracted by her claim that he looked more attractive than before. Pricilla bless her, stroked his manly pride without meaning to. This Erik felt certain only solidified as further proof she saw the man and not the monster he sometimes still thought himself to be, especially when he must look into a mirror closely at his own mangled face.

Tipping her down bent head up to face him Erik said huskily, "Pricilla your dishevelment only makes me want you more as I know that it was our passion that brought this alluring look about. You could never look anything but what you are, a woman of beauty both on the outside and more importantly on the inside.

I count myself among the luckiest men in the world to have won your favor. It is I who needs to worry whether or not I please you. You shame me with your generosity in loving me, a man not worthy to touch one hair on your head.

Being the utterly selfish man I am I will naturally accept whatever you will give me and be grateful for it. Do not ever think yourself anything other than the wonderful woman you are. The miracle in all of this is that without benefit of any explanation you still welcomed me to share one of the most intimate acts between two people."

Erik felt that with this new closeness between them it would be the right time to reveal all of his past that she had not read about in his journal. He had written about most of his life but not all. The worst years he had left out.

"You deserve to know everything about me and you shall. I do think that we should dress first and make ourselves as presentable as we can just in case we have a visitor. Then I shall gladly answer any questions you may have to ask of me. I will also tell you of my life from my earliest memories until today. Not all will be pleasant and I will not be telling it to gain your sympathy or favor. Things are what they are. My past has made me the man I am today for better or worse.

I cannot go back and change anything I have done only try to use it as a guide of what I must work on to change within me. Now let us dress and then the journey into my past can commence."

Pricilla debated whether or not she wanted to listen to Erik's history as much of it would entail years at the opera house and Christine. Pricilla had only just come to accept that Erik could possibly love her. She did not want some ghost from Erik's past to intrude once more.

Knowing everything must be laid out to be discussed and examined, Pricilla fortified herself with the knowledge that Erik loved her now and not that…that little diva who had broken the man Erik had been.

She would listen with an open mind. Perhaps it was not the distant past she should be worried about anyway. Erik's recent misjudgments troubled her more. If he confessed some misstep Pricilla did not know if she could bear to hear it after just having worked her way to forgiving Erik for leaving her in pursuit of that damned diva woman. Pricilla had nearly inserted devil woman in her mind instead of diva woman. She did not like this catty side of her but could do nothing to stem the flow of resentment from forming distasteful pictures in her mind. As if the ghost of Erik's little angel had not been enough to compete with Olivia Patterson had to make a play for Erik. This woman Pricilla considered a more viable threat as she lived far too close in Pricilla's estimation.

Once they had returned everything to where it should be they removed any stray pieces of hay that still clung to them. All the picking and touching nearly distracted them from the purpose of the moment. A few gut wrenching kisses later, Erik forced himself to move further away from Pricilla. If he could touch her they would never leave the stable or discuss what needed to be discussed.

It was well into the late afternoon before their stomachs growling brought them away from every moment of Erik's unfortunate beginnings, through the opera house years, then all the time he had spent in the last two years here in America until this moment where he and Pricilla now sat.

Erik had not been able to resist throwing herself into Erik's arms kissing him randomly all over his face when he had swore on his honor he had not given in to that woman Olivia. The truth in his eyes convinced her more than his words. He had looked back at her steadily without so much as a twitch of an eyelid as he gave his solemn vow of fidelity.

It had not been easy revealing every wrong he had ever committed. He had been tempted many times to lie to Pricilla but felt she would know he lied and that would be worse than having her know all of his dark past.

At the end exhaustion and hunger drove them from their place of intimacy. Pricilla kissed Erik tenderly at the end of his painful revelations. She had been overjoyed to know Erik had not given in to any attraction he felt for Olivia. She felt guilty to have driven him to react out of spite to her coldness as well as her unwillingness to listen to any explanation he may have given. If only they both had thought things through all of this could have been avoided.

They made a pact not to ever leave any thorn to fester in a wound. They'd pluck it out before the poison could spread and infect their happy life. Holding hands while leaning into one another they reluctantly left their temporary sanctuary. They would never be able to look at the stable in the same light again. Those around them would shake their heads at the silly smile and dreamy eyed look that would come to Pricilla and Erik whenever they went to the stables or even had it brought into a conversation.

All everyone knew for sure was that the couple had changed that day becoming more demonstrative with their affections, at times embarrassingly so. For a man who would not show any affection among others now Erik openly caught Pricilla around the waist at various times of the day to kiss her with unchecked passion. Handholding became the norm for the couple.

Only Nick knew what had brought about this change and he would never speak of it to anyone other than his own brother. The two kept their secret until the day they died.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Here it is Friday and I am going_ camping. _Well we call it camping. Fireplace, dishwasher, 2bigscreen tvs, full bath. Not really camping but we do get to be in the _wilderness_. I am leaving you with this post so that when I get back I might have some lovely reviews. You guys were the best medicine during my recent trials. If not for my stories and reviewers I could have sunk into a deep depression. Like I said, best medicine, _ever_.**

**Chapter Twenty-seven**

**Past Meets Present**

The household had become a much happier place to be in after that day which changed so many things. Erik and Pricilla had only secretive smiles for one another exchanged across the table during meals. Those around could not possibly miss the touches or stolen kisses when the couple thought no one around. Really they were far from discreet as they tended to find the hallways, front veranda, garden, stable or any other place that took their fancy as an appropriate place to display their growing affection for one another.

Erik as a man of music could not help but listen to all the singing and humming around him, at least by the women of his household. He had never known Antoinette had a very clear and vibrant tone when she sang as did Meg although Meg's voice tended more toward the alto range. Loretta he had yet to pigeonhole as she a few words then hummed a few bars. It should have driven Erik mad but he did not find it so.

Pricilla's voice ensnared him the most. She never hummed or sang anything the least operatic. She never reached a level where one outside her immediate presence could hear her. To Erik her voice proved to be a lure he could not resist. All he need do most days was pass a room where Pricilla sat or stood singing something romantic, composed with lovers in mind. When his ear caught the first note Erik lost all will to proceed with whatever had been his task before hearing his entrancing wife.

Those moments always led them upstairs to the room they now shared much to the delight of everyone. Charlotte had wheedled most of the story out of Pricilla but knew her cousin did not tell all her husband's secrets which is as it should be. What won Charlotte as one of Erik's biggest supporters was that he made Pricilla happy and at last she believed in her worth. Erik being a man not confident in his own attraction made certain his wife did not doubt one moment more that she owned him in a way no one else ever had. It went beyond the hearts beating a lover's rhythm. He could not express in words just how much power she had over him but he showed her every night in their bed whether they simply held one another or engaged in intimacy.

This possessiveness they shared for one another had nothing in it of his obsession with Christine. They owned one another yet were free do go about their lives knowing at the end of the day they would end up the same way until death parted them. This possessiveness did not stifle or bury the other under frantic desperation of needs wanting to be met.

Erik had planned on going to an auction in Fredericksburg, Virginia. He had missed the last auction due to his own stupidity. He would not miss this one. Pricilla at first did not want to go as she wanted Erik to know she trusted him out of her sight. He wanted her to go as he could not bear to think they would be parted for at least three weeks.

They went back and forth with arguments until they realized how silly they were both being. They both wanted the same thing in reality. Neither wanted such a long separation when their was no sane reason for Pricilla not to join Erik.

Antoinette told Pricilla to count it as the honeymoon they had not taken. They could go to the theatre, stay in a world class hotel and eat fine French cuisine. Charlotte added her encouragement as well. It would do the two of them good to get away by themselves for a while. One could do such decadent things in a room sure to be off limits to everyone unless a blaze had been set. At this point Charlotte teased Pricilla about her new found interest in lustful daydreams.

Where before Pricilla had no knowledge of what went on between a man and a woman to contribute in their womanly conversations, now Pricilla could not help but extol about Erik's above average prowess in the boudoir. For once Pricilla could equal, even surpass anything her cousin might have to say. While being a little envious Charlotte nonetheless felt glad of her cousins newfound confidence in her lover and herself. Besides did Charlotte not have a great Don Juan of her own?

Pricilla had taken to calling Erik Don Juan during intimate moments. At first she had hesitated doing so as his Don Juan Triumphant opera had not gone well for Erik. When she had first ventured to whispered the name in Erik's ear he had paused in his ministrations of Pricilla's body, but shortly thereafter he had seemed to become possessed of some sensually ardent lover. He did things to Pricilla that she swore drew her soul from her body at times.

Erik, contrary to what he would have expected, found Pricilla's little ploy quite intriguing. Don Juan had not triumphed in Erik's opera but damn it all he surely conquered his woman in Erik's bed. Pricilla never failed to stroke Erik's ego during intimacies. If he had never felt a man before he truly did now, more man than he had any right to expect after his past betrayals. Pricilla never brought them up unless Erik himself felt the need to tell her some newly recovered memory that bothered him. Together they would dissect and discuss Erik's piece of his past to that it would come back to haunt him. Over the years he had been plagued by nightmares mainly centered around past sins he had committed. A few concerning Christine. Pricilla continued to love him even what he revealed shed a dishonorable light on him. She accepted both the Angel in Hell and the Man of Redemption.

As she packed her trunk Pricilla had to say she felt rather glad Erik had used his most persuasive weapon to persuade her to accompany him. Trickster that he was, Erik had used a moment of vulnerable passion to pose his next invitation to join him. How could Pricilla do anything other than agree when every molecule in her body vibrated with sexual tension yearning for release at the hands of her lover?

She had not minded Erik's blackmailing ploy. Had she not really wanted to go but had not wanted to seem like a clinging wife? Erik had waylaid any further similar thoughts quite adequately and vigorously during a very passionate moment.

In lieu of what lie ahead perhaps fate had been kind in guiding the two lovers on this path that would take them together on a journey to meet Erik's past head on.

Erik and Pricilla got away without a hitch. The train ride had been far different from any they had ever experienced before. Sharing intimacies in different locations knowing others were mere feet away added a little spice to their encounters. Erik learned he must capture Pricilla's cries of ecstasy as she did tend to become rather vociferous on the rise to her climax. Not that Erik minded. He would relish having others know his wife had found satisfaction underneath him many times during the two day trip. His only concern had been saving Pricilla any embarrassment later when she had to face other passengers.

Erik had easily found a porter to help with the luggage and also hiring a cab. They arrived at The Empire Hotel in good time considering the array of buggies, cabs, trolleys, and pedestrians. Activity could be seen in every direction.

The auction itself would be held in a warehouse in the industrial part of the city that had been converted temporarily to provide for both animals and men. The railway passed right through the heart of the district accommodating any number of lucrative factories, the stockyard, and warehouses storing goods brought in or those ready to be loaded onto a railcar.

After dropping their luggage off, Pricilla allowed Erik to drag her to the pre-auction gathering where potential buyers were allowed to inspect animals being offered for sale. Owners were on hand with papers showing the lineage of each animal along with letters from various veterinarians from across the country. Why Erik felt the need to look at every single animal she felt must have some valid reason. For hersefl she only needed to see an animal once to either like or dislike horse, dog or whatever.

She would rather have come a little later once the auction had begun. They could have arranged to met. Knowing how important this was for rik she had let him have his way.

Pricilla being sensitive to Erik's every mood could help but see how uncomfortable he felt among all these people. It did not help when some crass idiots stared pointedly at Erik's masked face. It didn't take a person of genius to interpret the looks on those people's faces.

After the fourth or fifth time someone made Erik lower his head as he pulled down the brim of his hat, Pricilla said a mental be dammed with all and began to fawn quite openly over Erik. When Pricilla boldly pinched his backside Erik nearly jumped to the roof of the warehouse. When he looked at Pricilla with the beginnings of a frown he could see that the little minx looked very pleased with herself.

Erik caught the eye of a young boy who had been hired to clean out stalls. He couldn't have been more than sixteen. The cheeky devil had seen Pricilla's pinch to Erik's backside. Young Casanova in the making eyed Pricilla up and down in a very lascivious manner in Erik's opinion. His youth saved him from a too tight necktie.

Glancing around Erik began to think bringing Pricilla with him had not been such a good idea. In her light summery blue dress she looked fetching. Erik let his gaze pass over Pricilla. Had the neckline of her dress been that low when they left the hotel or had a piece of the neckline fallen off somewhere? Every man he passed received a warning glare whether that person had made an offense or not.

Moving his arm around Pricilla's back Erik pulled her in closer to his side. Now let them try to poach on Erik's preserves. Anyone crazy enough to attempt so much as a cordial smile would end up at the end of Erik's Punjab, of course he'd have to lock Pricilla in the hotel room first.

The whistle blew signaling the auction would be commencing. Temporary bleachers had been set up to accommodate the crowd. Erik signed in then accepted the card with his number printed on the front. He had his eye on three perhaps four animals today.

Erik had been going to seat Pricilla when a big man with a fat cigar sat right next to where Erik had planned to sit. He would not put up with cigar smoke blowing in his face or Pricilla's. Erik stood towering over the man waiting for him to notice Erik's impatient stance.

Calling forth a few opera house memories Erik set his face into one of his famous "scare the hell out of you without speaking" looks. The man with the cigar had been looking at the catalog in his hands when two rather large boots stepped in front of him and did not move. Starting at the boots his gaze began to move upward. A long way up. When the stranger at last came to Erik's face the cigar dipped downward barely hanging onto the man's lip. Closing his mouth the man started to inch along the bench until he felt it safe to come to his feet and beat a hasty retreat.

Pricilla had watched this manly display by Erik with an amused smile she tried to hide. It would not do for him to catch her smiling when he wanted to flex his muscles so to speak in front of her. She nearly giggled out loud when Erik's chest puffed out slightly as he watched the poor man scurry away. She did feel grateful though that she would not have to smell the noxious odor for several hours.

Erik solicitously made certain Pricilla settled in comfortably. Feeling a strange prickling raising the hairs of his neck and arms Erik let his eyes rove over the crowd. That prickling sensation usually meant someone was watching another person without their knowledge. Joseph Buquet had been the only person he could remember ever catching him off guard in that way and then only because Erik had been so enthralled with Christine on stage.

Passing over a section of the crowd across from him and a little to the left Erik's eyes snapped back to lock with a pair of familiar brown eyes. His only thought was "What the hell is she doing here?" At least that had been his first thought. After that initial shocked response Erik's mind shouted out silent questions in his mind.

Christine sat there with Raoul at her side. Erik felt gratified that her shock equaled or perhaps even surpassed his own. As he continued to look upon his former heart's desire panic began to set in as Christine leaned to whisper in Raoul's ear.

Raoul's head jerked toward where Erik sat with Pricilla. An argument must have ensued as they exchanged words Erik could not hear. He cursed his inability to read lips. What had he not mastered that craft?

Raoul must have lost the argument for he at last nodded his head then stood to his feet to offer his hand to Christine. She stood with fluid grace. She may not hold Erik in awe anymore but he could still admire her beauty.

As the couple began to circumvent the crowd in the direction where Erik sat with Pricilla stark panic set in. Frantically Erik searched around for the likeliest exit. What had him is such a state he couldn't really say unless it had something to do with Pricilla coming face to face with a part of his past that caused him great shame. His guilt over his past actions ate at him like wormwood ate into a person's brain.

Acknowledging his culpability in every disastrous occurrence in his life to himself did not mean he would willingly face the person he had wronged the most while in the presence of his precious new wife. Pricilla had enough of Erik's past wrongs to mull over without adding fresh ones to the cauldron of his misery. That simmering brew had only just been coming to a slow simmer and he wanted nothing to cause it to rise to a full boil again.

If he did not move soon it would be too late. Erik abruptly stood startling Pricilla as he knew he would. Bending down he grabbed her wrist not hurtfully but firmly. Even in his panic Erik had the forethought to temper his strength. He would never hurt Pricilla by his hand again.

Too late Erik had set about his exit. He heard Christine's greeting with dread. "Erik? Erik, please let us be civil. Raoul and I wish to speak to you." At Raoul's grunt of displeasure Christine clarified, "I wish to speak to you."

Erik felt as if the coffin lid had been slammed shut with him nestled within the dark confined space. He could all but hear the hammer driving in nail after nail. If God had ever planned to show him mercy now might be the opportune moment for that deity to send a lightening bolt straight at Erik's expectant body. As he expected, nothing so merciful had been granted.

Meeting Pricilla's trusting eyes filled with love Erik had to say he felt quite happy God had denied him such a foolish request. With Pricilla at his side Erik felt he could climb the highest peaks with ease, swim the deepest waters covering the earth with little worry, he could face every horror in his life meeting it head on confident he would conquer all in the end. What could one former love and her little Vicomte do to him? Had he not been the all powerful Phantom and Opera Ghost? Was he not now Erik Dante respected property owner, loving husband, contributor to his community and exemplary citizen?

Pah! He would not be cowed or afraid of them. Not much anyway.

**A/N: Don't worry. Erik isn't going to get stupid. He is well and truly hooked by Pricilla. I think a naked dancing girl could stand in front of him and....well maybe he would _look_, but I know he wouldn't touch. Christine is firmly in his past. **


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I returned from our weekend all excited to see all the reviews. The very first one I read sort of unsettled me. This review I think is either from some prankster or a very disturbed person. I went to the profile and it disturbed me even more. I am glad that there are more legitimate reviewers out there and less pranksters. **

**Chapter Twenty-eight**

**Ousting Old Ghost**

Erik closed his eyes not in any pain for having to see Christine and her dratted husband, but more because he did did not want Pricilla to see any more of his foolishness displayed before her eyes. He had told her everything she wanted to know and probably more than she bargained for. Knowing about his unrequited love for Christine he imagined would be viewed quite differently when coming face to face with his amour in person.

The first Pricilla knew anything had been amiss was Erik's rough grasp on her wrist then she felt the stiffening of his muscles as if he had suddenly been overcome with rigor mortis. Upon hearing a softly sweet voice calling to him, Pricilla did not have any need to ponder the question as to what had upset Erik. Not wanting to turn but knowing she must, Pricilla cast her glance to the side where a vision of loveliness stood beside a handsome young man bearing a proud challenging look about him. This could be none other than the infamous Christine Daaé, now de Chagny, and her gallant knight Raoul de Chagny. Pricilla unconsciously moved slightly to the front of Erik whether to shield Erik or prevent him from making a disastrous mistake was anyone's guess.

Christine narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips in annoyance. She whispered to Raoul asking just who this woman was. Raoul looked at her strangely. How was he to know who Erik had taken from her home in some maniacal fit?

_Had Erik thought so little of her that upon her refusal to steal away with him he had gone and taken up with some…some…_Being a lady Christine could not finish the sentence although it did not impede her from thinking such things in the very back of her mind.

Christine did not want to see that Erik stood beside a perfectly respectable woman. It would have not felt such a betrayal if the woman had been someone he paid for her company. If Christine had ever had reason to think of Erik in those terms, which she had only at the end of their time together, she had not seen him being with anyone in any intimate way. For the greater part of her life her Angel had been a kind benefactor only occasionally showing a temper.

Thoughts of romance had begun as she turned from little girl to woman. The transition had come about slowly. It almost seemed natural to think of him as some romantic figure. His voice had always intrigued her. Things had only changed when Raoul had come back into her life. When Raoul came back into her life she had not wanted to continue to have visions of this dark seductive being who at times seemed to be luring her into the shadows with him.

Christine would have preferred to think of her Angel as an eunuch, a sexless man serving the needs of women, musically of course. In her case the service would only extend to enriching her voice. She did not like it at all to imagine Erik engaging in the same displays of passion she and Raoul enjoyed.

She had to say she did not care for the image of Erik being with anyone at all. If that made her a selfish person then so be it. Christine could not stop the disapproving pursing of her lips as she caught Erik's…Erik's _friend's_ eyes. It gave her some satisfaction when the woman at Erik's side widened her eyes in either fear or confusion. Christine would settle for either emotion.

Pricilla had not expected such a look of animosity from Christine. If anything she had thought they might have a mutual bond as they both cared for Erik. As badly as Christine had treated Erik, Pricilla had formed a different picture through Erik's telling of those events leading up to his opera, Don Juan Triumphant.

Christine although cruel at times as well as grasping for star status, the girl had given Erik something he might not have gained from anyone else. She humanized him in a way his lifestyle could not have done. For having played the part of an angel Erik had displayed some all too human characteristics which anyone of average intelligence would have discerned after only a short time. Pricilla had concluded Christine had been late in coming into womanly intuition or even adult deductive skills.

Neither Christine nor Erik could claim total innocence in what had taken place. Perhaps Christine to a lesser degree than Erik because he had been so much older than Christine had been. An actual age for Erik would be impossible to determine as he had no knowledge of when he had been born or exactly how old he had been at the time he left his home to join the gypsies. That last year at the opera house Pricilla guessed Erik had been about thirty-three. That would make him thirty-five now. It came inconsequentially to Pricilla that Erik had a penchant for casting his affections toward younger women. She herself was some years younger than he.

She did not think there had been anything perverse about Erik's switch from teacher to prospective lover. If anything she had to think it had been inevitable due to Erik's isolation from the world. Christine had been like a blank canvas to Erik. Over the years he had painted Christine into the woman his heart desired to have. The advent of Raoul changed everything. Raoul had added some unwanted brush strokes to paint Christine as he saw her which did not fit in with Erik's plans.

As no one seemed keen to begin the conversation or make introductions Pricilla took the initiative. "I believe you are acquainted with this young woman Erik are you not? Please introduce us so we may converse instead of standing about like frozen statues."

Erik shot Pricilla a glance as if to ask if she had lost her mind. He felt nothing of any worth could come of any gentile meeting between him, Raoul and Christine. Add Pricilla into the simmering pot and a disaster he felt would be bound to occur.

He and Christine had said all that needed to be said during their last encounter. Why rehash something so painful, painful to him at least. It had probably been a relief to Christine and Raoul never to have him in their lives again. Yet here they were once more, fate, that contrary controller of lives, throwing them together again.

Pricilla, Erik considered had gone completely mad as she calmly invited the young couple to join them at their hotel for tea. By the scowls on both Erik and Raoul's faces one could assume Pricilla had suggested they take tea on the auction house floor. The repugnance would be the same.

Having already asked Erik during one of his long confessions after a bout of shared passion just why he still held such animosity toward Raoul, Erik had grumbled about faces, aristocracy, privilege of the rich and some other less repeatable things. Pricilla had concluded jealousy as well as some residual insecurity about his place in the world had him still viewing Raoul as some sort of rival. She genuinely believed he had gotten over Christine, but men's egos being what they were Erik felt belittled by the younger de Chagny fellow.

Looking ahead Pricilla could see many long years spent boosting Erik's self-esteem. She really didn't mind as it gave her pleasure to see Erik gain pride through something she had told him or shown him during intimacy. Erik had over thirty years of degradation to overcome. Pricilla had begun to suspect that Erik's deprived life had much to do with his growing prowess as a lover. He had not only been passionate in the taking of his own pleasure but giving Pricilla more than she could have ever imagined.

There had not been a repeat of their first time together or those nights after they first came together when the intimacy had been mutual if less than satisfying. Erik took special care of her which only seemed to add to his own pleasure. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that Erik used his excuse of giving her pleasure to inspect every inch of her. He did like looking at certain parts of her rather more closely than others.

Before Raoul could make a gracious refusal Christine agreed giving Pricilla a challenging look as if daring her to rescind the invitation. It was arranged that Raoul and Christine would meet them after the auction at their hotel.

Erik watched the couple return to their seats wondering why God continued to punish him. He racked his brain to ferret out any bit of information he had withheld from Pricilla. He had pretty much told her every detail of his life in Paris while glossing over other areas he did not care to remember or retell.

The bidding began with the lesser valued animals wetting the appetites of the real horse connoisseurs. Pricilla had asked why men would buy some of those poor nags that should only be roaming around some pasture leisurely awaiting the end.

Erik should have known his casual answer spoken without even looking at Pricilla would have elicited the exact reaction it had. Upon learning that some would be shipped overseas for food and the rest processed here in America for various uses, Pricilla had yanked his number card out of his hand.

Before Erik knew what the hell had happened Pricilla had outbid everyone on the parcel made up of all those useless nags. He had been going to chastise her for being so sentimental but could not when she looked at him beaming in triumph as the gavel went down leaving her, or rather him, the proud owner of twelve useless bags of bones.

It did not help to look across and see Christine eyeing him as if he were some tasty savory. Raoul's smirk only added to his misery and confusion. Erik assumed this to be only the tip of the iceberg. His real hell would start when tea began to be served.

Erik used every wile he could think of to get Pricilla to forgo the doubtful pleasure of the de Chagny's company. That little siren used the half hour it took to arrive at their hotel to use her own wiles on Erik. The things she did to him he felt certain he had not taught her or even read about in books.

The reddish tinge on the cabby's cheeks let Erik know his loud moans had not been as muffled by his fist as he had thought. If Pricilla did not take care all of New York would be labeling them a bawdy couple. On further thought he could not say that he would mind such a title at all.

When Erik accosted Pricilla in their bedroom trying to sway her an afternoon spent exploring one another would be of far more interest than tea with the de Chagny's that little minx had the audacity to tap Erik on the cheek with her finger as she smiled temptingly at him. He felt certain she would agree but had been flabbergasted when she refused promising him further delights when they returned. Well if he must go through de Chagny hell at least he had Pricilla heaven to look forward to later.

Pricilla would not let him dawdle as much as he tried to linger in their sitting room. Pulling on his arm she led him to the elevator. Once down in the lobby she continued to pull him into the dining room. The headwaiter found them a table much to Erik's disgust. Why could it not have been a case of no reservation, no table? Damn his luck.

He only listened with half an ear to Pricilla's excited chatter. Apparently she held no animosity against Christine. Why should she? That question reverberated around a few moments inside his head. Why indeed? Had not Christine shown him the boot both times he offered her his heart?

Turning to look at his wife, Erik had to smile to see her so happy over something so simple as meeting others for tea. Only Pricilla could look upon meeting her husband's past object of affection as fortuitous.

Erik nearly knocked the table over when he stood upon seeing Christine and Raoul entering. It did not seem proper for Erik to malign Raoul by categorizing him as the boy or that boy any more. As much as it galled him Erik had to say Raoul had proven himself to be a more worthy man of respect than he himself had.

It had nothing to do with being born of the aristocracy or having a high station in society. Raoul earned everyone's respect by his honesty and altruistic behavior. Raoul respected the rights of others no matter what their bank account held or lack of one.

Raoul took the seat beside Pricilla leaving Christine to sit beside Erik. Erik could only mutter under his breath, "What madness is this?"

Pricilla asked him what he said to which he replied, "What a delight this is." Erik's reply must have been the correct thing to say for Pricilla patted his leg then squeezed his knee in a manner that made him jump slightly in his seat.

The sultry look she slipped him had Erik squirming in his seat as his trousers became uncomfortable. The little devil knew perfectly well what she was doing to him. Erik sent Pricilla a dark look promising reprisal if she did not stop, cease and desist. She must have interpreted his glance to her correctly because her face suffused with dark red. Little beads of sweat broke out on her upper lip. Erik began to enjoy the tea.

Erik relaxed enough to ask questions about Christine's plans for her career and ask Raoul about his choices today at the auction. Much to his amazement Erik found Raoul knowledgeable and willing to discuss animal husbandry with him.

Pricilla that scoundrel suggested a walk in the gardens which would have been pleasant had she not claimed Raoul's arm to escort her outside leaving him to escort Christine. Christine did not seem to mind. Raoul only cast Erik one look of warning before Pricilla reclaimed his attention.

With no other choice other than to kill Raoul and snatching Pricilla, Erik offered Christine his arm. He did not care for the self-satisfied smile crossing Christine's delectable mouth. Erik chastised himself for even thinking in any terms of Christine's mouth let alone delectable.

Other than pulling Christine along as Pricilla had pulled him, he had to watch as his wife and Raoul disappeared out the doors into the garden. With a look of determination Erik headed in that direction only to be pulled up short by Christine resisting.

"Erik let us sit in that alcove over there. We will have privacy from everyone."

Privacy with Christine at the moment did not sound like something he wanted or needed. Erik glanced around in desperation for some way to waylay any privacy between them without seeming desperate.

Like the lamb to slaughter Erik felt himself being tugged along slightly behind Christine. It would seem she felt more eager to speak to him than he did to her. Damn his luck anyway. Where had all this eagerness for his company been when he wanted her? This had to be another poke in the eye for him from God or fate, whichever controlled such things.

Eagerly Christine began to speak to Erik in their native tongue. French came much easier to speak than a foreign language when Christine became excited.

For the first few minutes Erik only heard something along the lines of blah, blah and more blah, blah, blah. His attention had been on what that aristocratic bastard Raoul might say to turn Pricilla against him than what Christine had been saying.

It did not escape Erik how ironic this situation had turned out to be. Long ago he would have sold his soul for a civil conversation with Christine, well damn it he had at one point. Now all he could think about seemed to be his wife and what some other man, his one time rival, might be telling Pricilla.

"Erik! You haven't heard a word I have said." Christine pouted prettily. At one time Erik's heart would have melted and he would have moved heaven and earth to appease Christine. Now her whining and pouting only annoyed him. She reminded him of a spoiled child. He felt guilt stab at him for he had been the one to spoil her for the most part. She might have matured much quicker if he had left her alone. His dictates that she not associate with anyone other than Madame and Meg had left her out of things the other ballet rats and chorus girls did. Sometimes that had been a blessing as a good number of them played fast and loose with the patrons of the opera.

Turning his full attention back to Christine Erik said, "I have indeed heard all you have said. Well for the most part. So tell me Christine what did you think so important that we needed secrecy?"

"Angel, Erik, I said nothing about secrecy, only privacy. I would like to know about that…that woman."

"Her name is Pricilla and I would thank you to address her as Madame Dante or if she will allow it Pricilla. She is _not that woman_." Erik left no doubt what he thought of Christine's belief that Pricilla had been anything less than a lady. He would not be telling her how he and Pricilla met either. Christine did not deserve to know nor was she in a position to demand such information from him or anyone else.

Christine blanched at Erik's harsh tone. He had yelled at her many times but never in defense of any person other than perhaps herself when she had been teased in the dormitories for crying and calling out to her Angel of Music.

"Erik only a short while ago you told me…you said I had your heart and soul. Yet now here you are with some strange woman, married no less. What am I to make of that?"

Erik could not believe her audacity to question him about his marriage or even finding another person to care for him who returned his affection. Did she expect for him to grieve forever? Was it a case of I don't want you but I don't anyone else to have you?

"Christine, I have wronged you in the past and for that I am truly sorry. I created a cocoon around you and that kept us from letting anyone else into our private world. Raoul saw how I isolated you and as he should, he broke you free of me.

Whatever our relationship had been I feel it had not been a healthy alliance. Neither of us allowed ourselves any growth other than the music we shared. I take all blame squarely on my own shoulders for the way things ended. At that time my mind had gone into a very dark place. What I wanted I would have no matter the cost to anyone else.

Pricilla…Pricilla is a very special person. If I had met her…if I had my Pricilla in my life as a younger man I think everything would have been different. I would have been different for certain. She makes me see things I would otherwise pass by as insignificant.

The smallest things can bring her joy. I think if the two of you had met under different circumstances you would have liked one another. Antoinette and Meg like her very much. I…I love her Christine. Not blindly or obsessively. I love her with my heart, not my mind.

We have had our trials, mainly due to my own lack of intelligence at times. Pricilla forgave me. Even when I did not deserve her forgiveness she offered it to me with a loving hand. I won't say she did not let me stew in my own juices for a while, but she did believe in me.

All I can say Christine is that if Raoul makes you half as happy as Pricilla makes me you would be a fool to do anything that would jeopardize that." Erik's last words were as close as he could get to telling Christine that she would be foolish to continue to show any interest in him when her husband could give her so much more.

Christine felt a little sting at Erik's words but knew he only spoke the truth. They shared a past and that was all. She and Raoul shared a present and hopefully a future.

"You really love her don't you? I am glad you have found someone who knows your true worth. I can now begin to feel more at ease about you. You will be in good hands. Now I think we should join those to runaways before they abscond together for parts unknown. You go on ahead. I wish to sit here quietly for a moment."

Just when Erik would have turned away Christine spoke, "Erik, I really did love you. Never doubt that. If…well a lot of ifs and things might have been different."

Erik did not turn around but softly said, "I know Christine. I know."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-nine**

**Rebuilding the Trust**

Erik found his delectable wife sitting on a bench with Raoul who seemed to be enchanted by her. If Pricilla had not immediately turned toward him with a welcoming smile Erik might have let his imagination get the better of him. Pricilla always sensed when Erik was near and it was the same for him.

As hard as he tried he could not read what the look on her face meant. Raoul looked quite pleased with himself. When had his wife learned to be so unreadable?

Erik made a big show out of drapping his jacket over Pricilla's shoulders after shooting Raoul a censuring glance. Could the man not see the goosebumps on her arms?

Raoul, not to be outdone took off his jacket to wrap it around Christine who had at last joined them.

Pricilla invited Raoul and Christine to come visit before they left to return to Paris She thought Meg and Antoinette would enjoy a visit from them. There would be plenty of time before Christine needed to return to France to see her own doctor. Erik gave up trying to influence Pricilla against wanting to befriend the de Chagny's. She had her mind set and nothing would deter her from that goal.

Perhaps her facination had something to do with Christine's expectancy. Erik had wanted to ask how Christine felt but did not think such things were polite to discuss in mixed company unless among relatives and at times not even then. He could have kissed Pricilla when she boldly took matters into her own hands to inquire about Christine's health and when her baby would be expected.

He could not help but note Pricilla's concentrated look and the calculating going on behind her eyes. Erik did not know whether to be flattered or upset that she considered even for one second he had...At this point Erik thought it best not to finish that line of thinking as if Christine had been less in love with Raoul and not with child already things could well have turned out differently.

Erik thanked the Lord for his narrow escape. To be tied to Christine for the remainder of his life in that manner would have been hell. They were not meant for one another and would have made themselves and an innocent child unhappy. Since Pricilla had entered his life he began to want different things, had discovered different possibilities. With Christine, they would not have had much in common other than their music. Christine had led a sheltered life and her wants and needs were different from his own. Pricilla filled every need and want he could think of at this moment.

Pricilla had kept her promise of delights in the boudoir so Erik felt tolerant of even Raoul. Christine he had come to see as an immature young woman who needed to grow up before she could even begin to compare to Pricilla. No amount of coaxing from him would pry the conversation from her lips that she had shared with Raoul. He had a feeling it had much to do with assuring Raoul he and Christine need not ever concern themselves with any angels, phantoms or ghosts.

On the long train ride home Erik sifted through everything that had happened to him since he had met Pricilla. He had come to the conclusion that even the painful moments had been needed for him to see things as they really were.

Tenacity had been and perhaps still was a fault of Erik's as well as a positive trait. He had never been willing to let go of anything he considered his or abandon the pursuit of something he wanted. It had taken one last face to face confrontation with Christine for Erik to at last let go of the fantasy he had built in his mind of a life with Christine.

He vowed he would show Pricilla every day how thankful he was to have her in his life. He regretted profoundly all his wasted years pursuing Christine and the last two mourning her loss. On the other hand if he had not experienced Christine perhaps he would not be where he was today. Pricilla might not have come into his life.

Everyone had come out to Erik's to welcome them home. A celebratory dinner had been planned. Loretta had even invited Horace as they planned to announce their engagement. Some might say it was far too soon but neither Loretta nor Horace was going to get any younger. They felt sure about how they felt so why wait?

Dinner had been a jovial meal with much laughter and light conversation. Pricilla had wanted to say something about what she suspected but felt Erik should know first. Also she wanted to be certain of her suspicions. If something happened too soon to end things she did not want to burden Erik with anything until absolutely necessary.

If things progressed as they should then Pricilla would inform Erik of his impending fatherhood. At the moment nothing could be conclusively stated so Pricilla kept her own council. Deep in her heart though, Pricilla knew with a mother's intuition, that she carried Erik's child once more.

Erik could not help but notice the number of times he caught his sweet Pricilla casting cow eyes at him. He did not know what he had done to earn such looks but who was he to complain? Indeed why would he?

The day Erik picked up the mail that contained a letter from Christine he thought of shucking it onto the road on his way home but dare not in case Christine wrote that she and Raoul were already in route for their visit. He had hoped they would forgo further acquaintance with them but had little hope of that as Raoul had seemed quite taken with Pricilla.

As he feared Christine wrote informing them that they would be arriving in a week so as to give their hosts time to prepare for their arrival. Erik thought he could have several traps set along the rail lines that would hinder the train from arriving any time soon if at all.

This damn new conscience he had sitting on his shoulder would not allow him to travel down that avenue to prevent Christine and Raoul from coming. All he could hear in the background of his plot had been Pricilla sweetly chastising him for thinking of such things. What if someone were hurt? Someone innocent of any wrong doing? What if Christine lost her child?

Erik confessed his trepidation to Michael concerning having the object of his former affections as well as his former rival in close proximity to his new found happiness with Pricilla. Michael had reassured Erik that as long as he kept his head and did nothing offensive or harmful things would go well. Had he not made it through dinner with the couple with not one drop of blood being spilled?

Pricilla had confided in Charlotte of her suspicions that she carried Erik's child. Charlotte had been overjoyed to learn they would both have children so close in age. Would it not be wonderful if they were as close as their mothers had always been?

Everyone seemed to accept that Erik had changed. It did not happen over night. Gradually as Erik proved himself to Pricilla he also regained the ground he had lost with his friends. Mac, under Meg's influence had stopped keeping such a close watch on Erik's movements. Erik felt gratitude for that as he did not know if he could stand someone knowing every move he made.

It had not bothered him to do the same with the opera house personnel. Plus there was the added concern whether or not Erik could win in a fair fight against the mighty Mac Macleod. Few men intimidated Erik. Mac had been one of those few.

Raoul had only been an irritation to Erik, a fly buzzing around causing him an annoyance. Erik did not consider that Raoul had beaten him in the graveyard swordfight as his foot had slipped giving Raoul the advantage. Erik thought he could win against Raoul in any physical fight but romance needed skills other than sheer brutality and cunning.

For this reason Erik did not relish having Raoul anywhere near Pricilla as he had shown far too much interest in her the last time they had met. Pricilla Erik trusted implicitly but Raoul he had to watch closely.

Raoul being French had hot blood running through his veins. Frenchmen were not known for their fidelity. Erik counted himself among the few who would forever be faithful once their hearts were won. Raoul he could not speak for personally so Erik preferred to take the stance of being prepared by heading off a potential poacher.

Once Christine and Raoul arrived things became hectic what with showing them around then introducing them to everyone. They dined in one another's homes one after the other. Erik thought himself quite the social butterfly.

Raoul and Erik had struck up a tenuous bond involving horses. They even planned to pair one of Raoul's mares with Midnight Dream. The women learned that creating the perfect horse transcended any animosity between horse owners. That common goal came before anything else.

Pricilla could not help but notice that Christine had turned into a helpless immature young girl instead of wife and woman of maturity she had been when they met in New York. It did not take a genius to know that Antoinette and Meg had contributed to Christine's being somewhat delayed in maturing. It had not all been Erik or Raoul's doing.

Christine donned the hat of immature helpless young girl again when in the presence of all those who made her so. Charlotte, Loretta and Pricilla had to bite their tongues to keep from making some obvious comments or laughing outright when Christine went into one of her helpless acts.

Raoul seemed to be quite happy to deal with her. It may feed into his need to play shining white knight taking on the dragons of the world or rescuer of fair maidens. Pricilla had observed Erik scowling in Christine's direction on several occasions.

It would seem Erik had his eyes opened at last to Christine's true character. Not one deliberately acting childish in nature to gain attention but a woman who had let those around her keep her from growing up as she should have. Everyone sheltered her from anything distasteful and thereby allowed a man in the shadows to corrupt her innocent mind into thinking an angel had been sent to her by her father long after such childish beliefs should have still been believed.

Pricilla did not harbor any jealousy or ill will toward Christine. She had only done what they had allowed her to do. Erik had been her major crutch keeping her from seeing anything through a woman's eyes until it had been too late to change the course of events.

Having come to know Raoul much better than Erik would like, Pricilla thought Raoul would one day tire of his wife's childish displays giving her quite a shock when he forced her into the role of a woman. On that day Pricilla thought Christine would come into her own. She would be an extraordinary woman given half a chance to show her true mettle. Erik would have smothered Christine underneath his heavy hand. He would never have allowed her to grow as a human being is meant to grow.

Raoul and Christine's visit had in the beginning only been intended to be two weeks but one thing led to another and a month had flown by before anyone knew what had happened. Everyone had found the company enjoyable all around. Even Erik had dropped his gloom and doom attitude to enjoy himself.

The weather began to turn colder. Raoul began to make noises of heading home before winter set in. He had no need to return to France but did not relish getting snowed in with his new friends. Too close in proximity for too long could test any friendship to the detriment of all concerned. Best to leave while everyone had happy memories.

Christine's rounding belly brought another concern to mind. They needed to head home before her time came nearer or be stuck here until she gave birth. Raoul wished for his child to born in his ancestral home in the very bed his mother had born him.

One last dinner had been planned to send off Raoul and Christine. Mac and Meg announced their engagement at the end of the meal. Antoinette feigned concern for Meg to be marrying a crazy American but secretly she could not be happier with Meg's choice. She especially felt gratitude to Mac for turning Meg's interest away from Erik.

After dinner Pricilla tugged on Erik's hand then motioned with her head for him to follow her out into the garden. Willing to go any place his wife led Erik stepped out into the chill of the night. Pricilla felt giddy as well as nervous. Tonight she would be telling Erik about his impending fatherhood.

She had wanted to shout out during dinner her happy news but felt Erik should know first other than Charlotte who already had been told.

Erik wrapped his arms around Pricilla when he felt her shiver against his shoulder as they came to a stop just beyond where the light from the dining room doors let the light shine out onto the garden patio.

"Pricilla this is not the night for intimate moments stolen in the dark. You are freezing. Let us go back in before you catch your death."

"Erik I am perfectly fine. Your arms provide all the warmth I need. Do you think I would endanger myself or our child by letting myself catch a chill?"

"If I had known we would be coming outside I would have…Wait one moment. I thought I heard…did you say…a child? I am with child…I mean, you are with child? My child?" Erik felt certain his ears had deceived him. This would be a gift beyond anything he could ever hope for if it were true.

"Yes Erik you heard correctly. I am to give you an heir. A child born from our love."

Erik shouted so loudly it echoed through the hills. Everyone within fifty miles more than likely heard his joyous shout.

Picking Pricilla up Erik whirled her around then set her on her feet asking if he had perhaps harmed the child with his exuberance. He placed his hands protectively over Pricilla's still flat stomach.

"Erik neither the child nor I are so fragile that a little twirl will do more than make us both dizzy. I will take precautions but I am far from fragile."

Everyone having naturally heard Erik's shout had come running out prepared to do battle if need be. They quickly were reassured by Pricilla that everything was just fine, more than fine really. Erik did not let Pricilla finish. He blurted out the news that Pricilla would be presenting him with a child. For once Erik felt God had smiled on him.

Congratulations were exchanged as well as wishes for the future. Christine could not find it in her heart to feel any jealousy toward Erik's newfound happiness. Over this last month she had been observing and taking stock of everything.

She had not liked what she had found out about herself. Without knowing it Christine had let herself be treated as a child again. She had relinquished control of everything to all those around her.

With her own child on the way Christine had begun to think it would be an opportune time to grow up as she should have all along. Others should not be guiding her every choice in life. When she and Raoul returned home or perhaps when they reached New York they would have a serious talk, a grownup discussion.

Erik remained on top of the world throughout Pricilla's pregnancy. Antoinette had been convinced to stay. Erik built her and Meg a small cottage within shouting distance of his own home. He would not let Antoinette move so far away leaving him alone with Pricilla once Loretta married Horace.

Loretta still came out three or four times a week to help with the household chores and they still had their maid but Erik felt better knowing Antoinette could be called on at a moment's notice. He would take no chances losing another child or his wife due to careless handling.

By the time Pricilla went into labor she felt as if she had been born of royal blood. Erik had treated her in such a manner she felt cherished as only someone born into the higher ranks of society would normally feel.

Anything she mentioned she might like to have he presented to her as soon as humanly possible. She could only do that which Erik deemed not harmful or stressful to her or their unborn child. At times Erik seemed overbearing but Pricilla knew he had her best interests in mind as well as their child's.

Who could blame him for wanting to wrap them both in cotton wool? To lose another child would leave them both devastated. Erik especially as he still blamed himself for the loss of his first child even after Pricilla had Mac explained the intricacies of childbearing and the many things that could go wrong which no amount of care could prevent.

Christmas had come upon them without anyone really taking notice until only two weeks before the day. Charlotte had come out with Michael just after a major snowfall had kept them confined for a little over a week.

Pricilla had always jumped with joy to have someone other than her elderly parents to share this special time with. They had not believed in the exchanging of gifts as that seemed too pretentious as well as looking as if they were flaunting their wealth in the poorer people's faces. Consequently they had only ever had a quiet dinner at home to celebrate the occasion.

Erik had never really taken any interest in the holiday other than as it concerned Christine. He had bought Antoinette and Meg gifts as well. They had never had the funds to buy him anything but Antoinette had managed to bake him a pie or fill a plate with special foods for him to enjoy even if they had to be eaten alone. Pricilla's excitement had been contagious. Before long everyone had good cheer in their hearts and matching cheer upon their faces and in their greetings to one another.

For the first time in his life Erik enjoyed a real Christmas as it should be. He had family and friends around him. Pricilla had secretly corresponded with Raoul asking him to search for a fine mare that would please Erik.

Raoul had diligently attended many auctions as well as sent out many enquiries. In the end he sacrificed a mare he himself had purchased for his own stables in France. He cared for Pricilla enough that he would let go of one of the finest proven mares on the continent. Erik's gift would be arriving shortly after the new year.

When Erik discovered Raoul's kind gesture he wrote a letter himself promising Raoul one of the future foals. Pricilla had rewarded Erik's magnanimous gesture most satisfactorily. He had protested faintly using her condition as his reason but Pricilla had not been swayed much to Erik's pleasure.

The year of 1873 could be said to be a year of struggles and of wonderful changes. The following spring in the year of 1874 would bring even more glad tidings for the one time ghostly phantom.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

**Only a Man**

Charlotte had delivered a healthy boy. Michael naturally touted it about that he would be the proudest of fathers when his son became governor of Kentucky or perhaps even president. Eventually his son would become a power in Kentucky government with some political clout in Washington.

Michael's son's greatest achievement according to the women had been when he married Loretta's oldest daughter. No one, not even Loretta herself had thought she would ever be a mother but God had blessed her with two daughters and a son.

Mac and Meg married the following spring after they met. They held off having children for a year until their home could be built on the land Mac had purchased. Olivia had had enough of Kentucky and had placed her home on the market. Being spiteful she had offered it to Mac first knowing how badly Erik wanted her property.

Erik had groused about foul play but Mac had reminded him of a certain ghostly entity who had not played fair for years. Only Mac would be brave enough to wave that flag in Erik's face and live to tell the tale.

Truth be told, Erik did not mind Mac living so close. Would it not be fortuitous to have the good doctor close at hand? Erik had not minded even when Mac's youngest son took Erik's daughter's hand in marriage but that would come in later years.

Mac had some concerns about Pricilla's pregnancy. From the rate of growth he guessed her to be carrying twins. As hard as he tried he could never hear that second heartbeat. Fearing another miscarriage Mac had placed restrictions on Pricilla's activities.

During her seventh month he restricted her to her bed. She felt fine and looked healthy but Mac would take no chances. Nearing the end of her ninth month Pricilla went into labor. Erik took turns crying then shouting out orders.

Mac had told them that he suspected two babies were nestled within Pricilla's womb. Erik had been ecstatic until he learned of the complications that twins could bring as well as the fact that a second heartbeat had not been heard. Erik could not even bare to think of what that might implicate. Pricilla had tried to be reassuring while feeling her own doubts eating away at her confidence.

Antoinette had taken to spending the night when it seemed possible that Pricilla might have some trouble giving birth. Erik prayed as he had never prayed before. Every cry coming from within the room chosen as the delivery room had him wanting to barge in so he might see his wife with his own eyes to judge her pain or offer his love and care.

Being a woman Antoinette had been allowed into the room. Erik stewed outside over the fact that he as the father had been banned from his wife's side during one of the most momentous occasions in his life. He wanted to see his children enter into this world.

When Antoinette came out with tears in her eyes Erik lost all restraint. He would be with his wife come what may. The fact that Antoinette had only met his eyes briefly before running off to fetch something Mac had wanted only confirmed he should be with his wife.

Erik entered the room to see Pricilla propped up in the bed with her legs spread wide. Mac had his hands underneath the sheet covering Pricilla. Erik only momentarily took exception to Mac coming into such close quarters with Pricilla.

Common sense won out in the end. How could Mac affectively attend to his child's birth from across the room? Pricilla reached out to Erik plaintively once she saw him. Erik immediately clasped her hand. He- sat down at the side of the bed facing toward Pricilla's lower portion of her body. He would calm his wife while watching the birth of his child.

Antoinette returned with a stack of sheets as well as more towels. It was only then that Erik saw the pile of bloodied sheets and towels lying on the floor. A wave of nausea overtook him but he conquered the urge to lose the contents of his stomach. He could do neither Pricilla nor his child any good if he gave into weakness.

Mac placed his hand on Pricilla's knee telling her to relax for a moment until the next contraction. It was coming to the point where Mac would need to tell them of his concerns. He had been able to feel the second child which concerned him as the first was nearing the point where it would begin presenting itself into the world.

He would need to use his hand to move the second one and turn it which would be quite painful for Pricilla. The birth had already taken longer than it should have. If both mother and at least one child were to survive Mac knew decisions had to be made now.

The first child would need immediate care as it was so small. Breathing would be problematic. Mac had learned how to aid mature people or larger children in breathing but never a newborn. Too much air could damage the lungs, not enough could cause death or permanent brain damage.

If the second child could not be taken in time death would be almost 100% a possibility. If Pricilla kept hemorrhaging as she was now perhaps only one child could be saved if either were at all viable. It was not Mac's choice to make. Save Pricilla or one of the babies.

When the time came for a choice Mac stoically presented the facts. Antoinette had already known from her experience with the girls of the opera house that things were not going well for Pricilla. She had hoped Mac could perform a miracle.

Erik took it hard. He had thought God had granted him such a wonderful gift. Now God wanted to reclaim them all. He would not allow it. With his will alone he would not let either his wife or his children leave him. Erik began to rally his belief in positive thinking. If God wanted to battle for their souls then God would need to take Erik with them and everyone knew Erik had sold his soul to the devil long ago. God would not want the Angel of Death to come to live in his house.

He had lost out to God's dictates for too long. Now in this Erik felt he would be the victor. He did not see a life before him as being lived alone. No. He would not let that happen. God had given him a glimpse of heaven and Erik would have it again or die in the process along with his wife and children.

Erik forbade Mac to do anything other than do what he could to save all three. There would be no choices made other than bringing both of his children into the world healthy and screaming their lungs out.

Erik's attitude gave the rest of them hope even if in the backs of their minds they considered it false. For all his having attended medical school Mac knew at times things occurred that went against every medical explanation. He could only pray for this to be one of them. Erik could not withstand the loss of either his children or Pricilla.

Encouraged by Erik's continued belief in him Mac worked diligently to bring forth these two new lives while saving there mother. Mac asked Erik to hold Pricilla's legs aloft while he helped the first child into the world. The option of waiting for the child to come in its own time had passed.

Antoinette soothed Pricilla as best she could in the circumstances. Erik tried to reassure both women with his soothing voice alone. If Erik had ever possessed the power to persuade others to do his bidding Erik gave Pricilla and Antoinette the suggestion that all would be well.

Erik's son came into the world not crying out for having been taken from a warm safe place but quiet and still. Erik's heart began to break when no sound came. Mac used a syringe to extract mucous from the babies mouth. He then turned the baby tapping and rubbing his back and chest trying to get a response.

Pricilla groaned rising to a sitting position as she had been overcome with pain. Her second child wanted to enter the world. Mac needed to turn him slightly as he was not in the correct position. He must trust Erik to attend his son while Mac attended to Erik's wife and second child. Antoinette he would need to hold a towel ready to wrap the child immediately to preserve its warmth while encouraging it to take that first live-giving breath. Mac would need all his concentration then to save Pricilla.

Not ever having held anything so small before that breathed, Erik felt inadequate. Knowing this to be his son doubled his insecurities. What if he did something wrong? He could not live with himself if he were to cause harm to his son. The little bit of humanity did not even fill Erik's hands. How could something so small survive?

Casting aside his self-doubt Erik began to breathe for his son as Mac had demonstrated to him. He rubbed gently over the small body trying to stimulate his son to enhance blood flow and perhaps encourage a protesting cry.

When his son made his first mewling cry Erik could not contain the relieved sobs from escaping. So as not to disturb Pricilla Erik went across the room so he could speak to his new son. Upon inspection of this new little person Erik could find no outward flaws. His son had everything he should and nothing he should not. Other than being small Erik thought his son perfection personified.

Having made certain he had done all he could Erik returned to his wife who now sat back amongst the pile of pillows. She looked so exhausted. Her skin which had always been pale now had the look of cold white marble.

Holding his son in the crook of his arm Erik smoothed his palm over Pricilla's forehead to let her know he was still there to support her. She smiled faintly but did not have the strength to open her eyes.

At last the second child had been moved into the correct position. Mac used an instrument to aid the child's progress. Erik looked at the metal instrument as if it were a device designed for torture. Knowing how fragile the son in his arms was this tactic of Macs to use such evil looking tools did not set well with Erik. He knew with his mind Mac would do nothing to harm any person let alone an unborn child. Erik kept his thoughts to himself no wanting to upset Pricilla.

He leaned down to kiss Pricilla's forehead then whispered to her that her son, their son was perfect. Erik laid him next to Pricilla so she could feel the warmth of his small body next to her own. He was now moving about more vigorously than before. He even made a few small cries rather than the mewling sound of before. His son seemed to be gaining strength.

Mac asked for Erik to once again to help hold Pricilla's legs. This time Antoinette held one as Erik held the other. From this position Erik could see clearly as his second child came into the world.

If he thought his son to be too small his daughter was even smaller. She began to cry immediately. Not loudly but she did indeed cry which pleased everyone except her brother who began his own weak crying upon either hearing or sensing his sister's cries.

Mac took it as a good sign that both babies were gaining enough strength to cry. They were by no means out of the woods but this gave him hope for the two overly small newborns. Crying would help clear their lungs as well as stimulate the rest of the body.

Now Mac could concentrate on Pricilla. He repaired the flesh torn by the delivery of her children. Erik swallowed loudly trying to contain his composure as well as keep the contents of his stomach in the proper place. He soothed Pricilla as best he could from his position holding her leg on his shoulder. Later they may all remember this moment with some little portion of discomfort but now all that seemed important was saving everyone.

Pricilla's pain could clearly been seen in the lines marring her face. Sweat coated every inch of her skin. Erik wiped her down with a cool damp face cloth. Pricilla had managed to bring her left hand up so her son could grasp it. This connection seemed to give her some peace.

Mac let out an unprofessional whoop when he managed to stem the flow of blood down to an acceptable level. Once the afterbirth had been presented Mac had at last stopped all bleeding other than what would be normal after delivering a child.

As soon as they had both infants cleaned and pronounced to be better than expected Pricilla demanded to have both her children back with her. She had only briefly seen her daughter and had been too weak to even open her eyes to see her son who lay right beside her.

Erik cooed to his children in a manner not like any Phantom. He became a typical father in awe of his small offspring. Once he overcame his fear of frightening or hurting them Erik slipped right into the doting father role.

After those first few months with stumbling steps toward life Erik and Pricilla proudly showed their two healthy children to any one interested or even to those who were not. Erik considered his children his greatest accomplishment in life. He gave thanks ever day to Pricilla's forbearance of his stupidity as she continued to love him as no other could ever do.

For whatever reason she did love him, faults and all. He in turn loved her with a love far deeper than he ever could imagine. Her breaths became his. They each drew life from the other. At times it seemed they shared one heart and one soul.

Christine and Raoul had a son only a few months older than Erik and Pricilla's son Erik Macleod Dante, in honor of his father and the doctor who saved his life. Erik's daughter was named Angelique Antoinette Dante for obvious reasons. Everyone claimed to see how angelic the infant was and Antoinette had been honored for saving the child's father.

The de Chagny's and the Dante's kept up their friendship. They even made trips back and forth from America to France and vice versa. Little Angelique and Raoul Marcus declared they could not stand one another until the age of twelve. Upon meeting during a visit at the age of thirteen they made the decision they could tolerate one another and be friendly for the sake of the family.

When they met at the age of fifteen neither one could make heads or tales of what those emotions were that made them hot yet cold, wanting to be in the presence of the other but not being able to speak a coherent word. They decided to avoid one another.

The year Angelique turned sixteen she begged her father and mother to send her to France for a visit to Aunt Christine's and Uncle Raoul's. She wanted to learn all there was to know about the arts. Raoul Marcu, or Marcus as he decidedd he preferred, had coincidentally come to America to attend school.

In reality Angelique wanted to avoid Marcus and knew her parents would not let her travel anywhere other than to her aunt and uncle's home in France. Angelique stayed for the most part in France only coming home a few times when she could be certain Marcus would not be present. Erik and Pricilla made many trips across the ocean to visit their daughter. Erik pined so when his precious angel put too many miles between them.

Through the years Marcus de Chagny and Rick Dante, remained friends. Rick went to France to study for a couple of years then he and Marcus came to America to attend college for the remainder of their studies.

When the twins were just going to turn eighteen Erik commanded his daughter to return home. She would spend her birthday in her own country in her own home. Angelique reluctantly returned home a pit of nerves in her stomach. She knew she would be meeting Marcus again without any real reason to beg off returning home. Besides, she would not put it past her father to come and drag her home kicking and screaming if she told them she would not be coming home just yet.

She had missed everyone upon her return home as they had all gone out riding. Her train had gotten in sooner than expected. She left word for her father and mother that she would come down for the evening meal after she had rested from the long journey home.

Angelique had taken pains with her appearance that evening. Living in France, the heart of fashion, she had learned to dress properly while catching the eye of men. When she stepped out onto the landing at the top of the stairs her father nearly had a stroke. His little baby had gone and turned into a beautiful woman.

He searched his pockets but could find no weapons to hold off any of the male guests in his home. Erik scowled darkly at every male in his house mentally issuing dire warnings. He had discounted Marcus as a threat as he and Angelique barely tolerated one another plus he thought of Marcus as a nephew.

Marcus nearly walked into a wall as his attention had been claimed by the fair-haired beauty at the top of the stairs. He vowed that this time he would not return home without some sort of resolution between Angelique and himself. He had matured after all. He had spoken intelligently to other girls. Why did he lose all his senses when in Angelique's presence?

By the end of the evening cupid had shot his arrows with accuracy. Marcus and Angelique had admitted their feelings for one another sealing their new relationship with a kiss which would have had Erik looking for his Punjab had he been privy to the exchange.

The women had their suspicions which had been why they instructed the three musicians to begin playing music so everyone might have a dance.

The simple dinner Angelique had expected had turned into quite a party. By the end of the evening Erik had mellowed with some wine and promises of further entertainment once he and Pricilla had gone to bed.

Fortunately for Pricilla she only had two other children after the twins. It was not for want of trying on Erik's part. Pricilla called him her Don Juan which pleased Erik after he recovered from the connotations of the title. He only wished to woo and conquer one woman, his lovely wife Pricilla.

Christine's youngest daughter Cecelia had always set her sights on Rick. She had declared her intention to marry him at the age of ten. Through the years she had made quite the fool of herself trying to win his notice.

He had humiliated her on her eighteenth birthday when he told her in front of a houseful of people he would not marry her or any other woman as he intended to remain fancy free to do as he pleased. He informed her that any and all attention she paid him would only belittle her further.

Taking his words to heart Cecelia proceeded to engage herself to a Count de Marco of Spain. Upon learning this young Rick wrote to his aunt and uncle with his concerns about Cecelia being too young to be engaged. Did they know this man she had affianced herself to without consultation with any family member?

When none of his letters produced any success he traveled to New York where Cecelia had been staying with his aunt and uncle for a short holiday before they entered into the whirlwind of parties for their daughter's engagement.

Suffice it to say Rick had his father's persistence as well as that hidden charm that could melt the hardest womanly heart. Rick and Cecelia eloped while in New York stunning everyone.

Erik and Raoul had only just recovered from the knowledge that they would be related in reality when Angelique and Marcus married and now their other children eloped making them in-laws twice over without any warning.

When Pricilla told Erik at the age of 35 she would be having another child he had not known how to act. They had both thought after ten years of having no more little ones things would settle in revolving around the two children they had and eventually grandchildren.

After that first shock had worn off Erik took to the idea of having another child. He hoped this one would be more malleable. His other two were far to independent for his peace of mind. They did enjoy music and had a bit of talent but had thus far disappointed him by their lack of interest, not that he would ever let that show to either of them.

Erik had received his wish for a talented child. Maria Claire Dante played exquisitely as well as sang divinely. Much to her father's disgust she chose to muck about with livestock rather than mingle at sophisticated soirees.

In Mac's stable had been where she had met Mac's son Nicholas Alexander at the ripe age of six when she first began sneaking off to Mac's barns when she was supposed to be visiting her Aunt Meg for dancing lessons.

Pricilla had known to be suspicious when Maria had begged to have dancing lessons from Meg when everyone knew the child tripped over her own feet. She had no innate grace. Never had she even shown any interest in that area before.

When Pricilla had asked how the lessons had gone Meg had turned red and couldn't look anyone in the eye. In the end it came to light that Maria loved spending time with animals but couldn't let Papa know as he wanted her to excel at playing music and singing.

So as not to make everyone a complete liar Maria did spend fifteen minutes of every visit practicing grace. In the end it helped her with riding later. Mac's son Nicholas had lost his heart to Maria the first time she had stuck her blond head around the corner of the barn.

He went away to school to learn about veterinary skills while Maria had read books on the subject. She had not found a college willing to take her on. After Nicholas had come home they had picked up their close friendship that blossomed into a courtship then marriage.

Nicholas had gone to the president of a couple of those colleges with threats of encouraging his Uncle Erik Dante to pull out his funding as well as political measures from his cousin and uncle in Washington.

Maria had been accepted by both. She chose the one with the best credentials. Her father sat proudly in the audience when she received her degree. He forgave her not letting music rule her life as it had his for so many years. There was honor in saving lives even if they were members of the animal kingdom.

In the mist of all of this mounting drama Erik's fourth child, Amelia Rose had been born. In this child all of Erik's dreams for one of his children to succeed in music were realized. Amelia rose to stardom conquering every major theatre audience in America and abroad. When she had established herself in the musical community she had demanded that no music other than her fater's would be performed by her unless her father deemed otherwise.

Erik finally got the recognition for his talent that he had craved. It meant a lot to him but not as much as the other accomplishments in his life. Now he thought he might just have enough reserve energy to enjoy a few grandchildren. He tried not to push but his days of producing children had ended but not his need to have young minds to enlighten.

Never again would anyone think Erik anything other than a very lucky man. Nothing about his life after he met Pricilla held any resemblance to his past life. Every day with her Erik counted as a blessing.

He considered the scales of justice to begin to be in balance at last. Perhaps they tilted in his favor. Every new accomplishment, every wonderful day with his wife and family, every new branch added to his family tree took him further and further away from the Opera Ghost and Phantom. There were times when he thought perhaps all of that nonsense at the opera house had been a dream or nightmare.

His life had become something men dream of but few actually obtain. He was happy. The only sadness had been when Christine passed away unexpectedly. Poor Raoul had been beside himself. He had taken to his bed then lost his will to go on. Only the return of Cecelia and Marcus with their children rallied him enough to leave the bed he thought would be his death bed. Having spent so much time in bed had weakened him and he never did regain his full strength.

When the notice had come about the auction at L'Opéra Populaire Raoul knew he had to go. He had made the promise that if ever he had the chance he must bring her some memento from the opera house. While Christine had lived it had not seemed so important. With her gone and the auction being announced Raoul could not let his love down. He would obtain something that would have some sentimental value to lie at her grave.

Erik had forgotten he even had that ring Christine returned to him. He had destroyed everything else that had belonged to Christine or reminded him of her. Only the ring had remained. When Pricilla had accused him of conveniently forgetting it Erik had thought himself to be in real trouble. Pricilla had let him grovel for a bit before she had relented.

As punishment for giving him a near heart attack Erik consigned her to a night in bed using her wiles to convince him he should forgive her. Erik held out for many nights before he would utter the words giving Pricilla the forgiveness she asked of him. By then neither really cared who forgave whom. They simply enjoyed the benefits of the _punishment_.

Erik had returned to France a couple of years later upon hearing of the auction from Angelique. He had hesitated asking Pricilla if he might make the journey to France but in the end his wonderfully perceptive wife had offered to accompany him even before he could ask.

They had left the ring at Christine's grave sight tied with black ribbon to a red rose. Pricilla did not mind the sentimental gesture for she knew every piece of Erik's heart belonged to her and their children. Once she had him trained properly he became an exemplary husband.

When Raoul had left the music box his attention had been caught by the rose. When he saw the ring he knew Erik had been here, perhaps still was. He sent a mental thank you to Erik for having kept pleasant memories of Christine even after what had taken place all those years ago.

Everything had come full circle. For a time they were all in France in the city of Paris where once an Opera Ghost and Phantom had wooed a young diva. The end to this opera had been happier than anything any stage had presented.

The End

**A/N: Alas we have come to the end of this tale. Thanks to all who have left reviews and for reading my work. I'll be posting a couple of stories probably within the next few days.**


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